We all have markers, which are moments and events in our lives that define the passage of time. We have birthdays, anniversaries, new years, new seasons, new months and new days.  Each marks a time of reflection, change, growth and beginning again.

For me, one marker that’s become a tradition is our friends’ annual Winter Solstice party. This wonderful gathering of interesting people includes live music, dancing, food and an enormous bonfire. While I love everything about this event from seeing old friends to meeting new ones to hearing great music and dancing away, my favorite part is the lighting of the fire.

As a group, we each take a candle, light it and trek up the hill into the middle of the woods. Some years we walk through lots of snow. Other years, like this one, there was less snow. Once we get to the clearing, we form a circle around the stone pit. In the middle is a magnificently built teepee-shaped structure of wood standing about eight feet tall. As we wait for everyone to gather, it’s always cold. This soon changes.

Words are shared, the fire is lit and one by one, we throw our candles into the flame. As we do, we let go of negative thoughts from the year about to end and reflect on our dreams for the coming year. The blaze takes hold. The fire builds quickly and transforms the cold night.  My shivering is replaced by warmth. The mood is contemplative and magical. As the flames travel brilliantly up into the deep night sky, hope and gratitude fills my being. We are connected to each other. We are part of a tradition. We are markers in the passage of time.

The end of the year gives us a natural pause to reflect and restore our life balance. It’s the time to adjust, reset and move forward. The annual bonfire is one marker that nudges me into this mode. What is one of your markers? 

A few nights ago, I left the house to pick-up some take out food for dinner. The night was dark, cold and wintry feeling. As I went out the front door, I noticed that a light snow was just beginning to fall. This was the first snow of the season. It came down very slowly, barely stuck to the ground and made the streets glisten.

Particularly where the streetlights shone, I found it magical to watch the flakes gently descending. They looked like they were moving in slow motion.  Seeing the snow reminded me that a new season was on its way. It was time to regroup.

I was particularly appreciative of the slowness of this snowfall. I thought about how in the fast-paced world we live in, it’s especially important to put the brakes on long enough to see, listen, learn and feel what’s going on. If we continually move without ever stopping to reflect, we do ourselves a disservice. Not only do we miss out on “magic moments,” but we also prevent ourselves from hearing our deeper thoughts.

Everywhere I go these days, I hear holiday music. While some people might find this annoying, I love it! I can’t help myself from singing along. The music makes me feel happy. It marks a time of year for gatherings, parties, seeing family and friends. It’s the season for endings and new beginnings. There’s an odd pull between melancholy and hopefulness. We say good-bye to what was and simultaneously look forward to having a new year to begin again. It’s an opportunity to look at our life balance and figure out what needs adjustments and what should be left alone.

Whether it’s slow motion flurries or holiday music, there are cues in every season that indicate that change is upon us. What markers are you noticing? What changes are you anticipating?

This fall I offered the Ultimate Organizing Giveaway. The contest was successful on multiple levels. What I loved most were the comments participants wrote on my blog during the giveaway. The wealth of challenges, hopes and dreams posted inspired me to “collect” them. Aside from letting me know their favorite items in the giveaway such as the $50 Container Store gift card or Peter Walsh’s book, It’s All Too Much, they also shared from their hearts. I was deeply moved by what they wrote about.

Four main themes came through in their organizing challenges. They shared their self-talk, whys, desires and actions. Perhaps some of these thoughts will resonate with you.

Self-Talk can be our best friend or most vicious enemy. So much of what we tell ourselves effects our actions. Our internal dialogue can propel us forward or paralyze us to inaction. What do you tell yourself? Is negative self-talk holding you back? Here are some thoughts others shared:

• I “should” be more organized.
• I’m an “organizational disaster.”
• My life is disorganized and is “driving me insane.”
• I am totally disorganized.
• Disorganization is a “flaw” in my character.
• My life is in chaos and I have no chance of digging out.
• I feel paralyzed.

Organizing challenges come in many forms. The source of our disorganization is as varied as each of us. Why do you feel disorganized? Here are some of the reasons people shared:

• I have small kids, so it’s difficult to stay organized.
• My paperwork is a “mess.”
• I’m running my own business and raising a family.
• I have too much stuff.
• I’m in “organizational turmoil” due to health challenges.
• I procrastinate too much.
• It’s not about the stuff but an entire mindset that upsets everything in my life if things aren’t organized.
• There is so much disorganization that I can’t find important documents.
• My spouse is a collector and hoarder.
• I am overwhelmed by the move we made six months ago.

We all have hopes, dreams and desires. We envision how we’d like our lives to be. We imagine what organization and life balance might look and feel like. Those dreams can sustain and propel us forward. These are some of the desires others shared:

• I “crave” organization.
• I want a Professional Organizer in my home full time.
• My “dream goal” is to be organized.
• By reading organizational books and catalogs, I hope that I will become organized through osmosis.
• I want to pare things down.
• I need methods about how to organize.
• I want organizing advice that’s realistic and helpful.
• I need help organizing my stuff and life.
• I am looking for inspiration and motivation.

As we know, dreams and explanations are an important part of the organizing equation, but without being tied to concrete actions, they just remain as thoughts.  I’ve observed that sometimes just talking about getting organized can inspire others to take action. Here are some of the action ideas that people shared:

• I can’t do this alone, so I am hiring a Professional Organizer to help.
• I am focusing on one thing each day to minimize confusion.
• Instead of waiting for the New Year, I’m going to start now.
• I am going to do more purging.
• I have no control over my spouse's disorganization, so I will work on my own areas instead.
• I will take one small step at a time.

Perhaps you identify with some of the statements others have shared about self-talk, whys, desires and actions? Wherever you are on the organizing challenge spectrum, you are not alone. I encourage you to continue the conversation. I’d love to hear more from you! Is your self-talk negative or positive? Why do you feel disorganized? Why do you want to get organized? What action step are you ready to take?

Energizing, satisfying, engaging, introspective, exciting, insightful, smart, current, thoughtful, illuminating, nourishing and colorful. This fall, I found myself standing in front of a wall of words at the Museum of Modern Art in New York City. I was immediately drawn to the bright colors, bold graphics and choice of words. I suppose they represented the promise of what the museum was about to offer.

As I entered the museum, I left the words behind. Some paintings were familiar, like old friends. Other exhibits had things I’d never seen before. It was fun and stimulating to see the different galleries.  When something caught my eye, I stopped. Things that didn’t interest me, I passed by. I was selective.

I started to think about how visiting a museum is very much like how we live our lives. There is so much to choose from. There are many things to experience. It doesn’t all make sense or even interest us. Life can even be overwhelming because of the vast amount of choices, so we search for a comfortable balance. We pursue what “catches our eye.”

For me, I’d rather see a little and really enjoy my time, than try to take in everything and become overloaded. Perhaps it has something to do with pacing or maybe it’s a matter of knowing when to say “no.” Finding that right balance takes effort. Sometimes we have to go overboard in one direction before we can bring ourselves back to a place that feels better.

I often hear comments like, “life is so crazy” or “life is so busy.” It’s as if we allow ourselves to visit every gallery and view every painting. We don’t let ourselves be more selective. For me, I’ve figured out that to truly enjoy my experiences, whether it’s being with family, working with clients, visiting a museum or reading a good book, it’s essential that I allow myself time to focus on those things singularly. I don’t try to pile multiple things on one another. I’m like the kid that doesn’t like her peas and carrots to touch. Give me one thing at a time so I can fully enjoy it without any other distractions. Perhaps that’s a bit extreme. Ultimately, you want to find the right life balance and mix that works for you.

The word wall that promised also delivered. My time spent at the museum was energizing, satisfying and colorful. In fact, the wall of words set the tone for the rest of my day in the city. Each experience was enjoyed, one moment at a time.

When do you feel most balanced? How do you know when you’re out of balance?