Dr. April Lane Benson
The “Ask the Expert” interview series connects you with industry thought leaders. This year we’ve spoken with Leslie Josel about motivation, David Allen about time management, Peter Walsh about clutter, Sheila Delson about letting go, Laura Berman Fortgang about next steps, Judith Kolberg about change, and Sue West about fresh starts. This month I’m thrilled to bring you a dynamo in the field of psychology, Dr. April Lane Benson, to share her insights and experience about enlisting help.
April and I met in 2004 when she spoke at the National Association of Professional Organizers New York chapter (NAPO-NY) meeting about compulsive buying. I became a fan immediately. Since then, I’ve had the pleasure of talking with her and hearing her present many times. She’s straightforward, energetic, compassionate, and the expert on shopping addiction. My deepest thanks goes to April for taking the time to join us. Before we begin, here’s more about her.
April Lane Benson, Ph.D., is a nationally known psychologist specializing in the study and treatment of compulsive buying disorder. She edited I Shop, Therefore I Am: Compulsive Buying and the Search for Self (2000) and authored To Buy or Not to Buy: Why We Overshop and How to Stop (2008). April recently conducted empirical research on the efficacy of the Stopping Overshopping treatment model; results will be published in early 2014 in the Journal of Groups in Addiction and Recovery.
Linda Samuels: You are a nationally known psychologist who specializes in the treatment of compulsive buying disorder. What is the tipping point that motivates people to reach out for help?
April Lane Benson: People reach out for help when their behavior has either become unmanageable to themselves, or poses such a big issue for someone else that the other person insists on it. Overwhelming debt is a big motivator for many; feeling enormously burdened by the lying and secrecy that are often part and parcel of this problem is another trigger. As far as other people’s reactions being the catalyst for the compulsive buyer to get help, these are common scenarios. A couple is trying to get a mortgage and in that process, the debt of one member of the couple is revealed. Family members may find a compulsive buyer’s secret stashes or find a credit card or money has been stolen. There may no longer be any room to navigate at home because of such an overabundance of stuff.
Linda: What conditions make self-help a viable option?
April: If someone has a history of having been able to utilize self-help resources productively for another behavior or is doing so currently, he or she is a good candidate for self-help. Someone who has one or two individuals who are willing to be very involved in a nuts and bolts way with the compulsive buyer and function as shopping support buddies is another good candidate. Knowing about the availability of self-help resources, books, audiotapes, online support groups, and in-person support groups is also key to making it a viable option.
Linda: When seeking professional help is the appropriate option, what are some useful questions to find the right fit?
April:
Has the provider worked with compulsive buyers before? Approximately how many?
What does the treatment consist of?
What kind of success rate does the potential provider have?
What method or school of thought does the potential provider utilize?
How long is the treatment?
How much will it cost?
Will any other family members be involved?
Will the provider collaborate with a professional organizer if the client wishes?
Linda: As professional organizers we often encounter clients with shopping addictions. What is important for us to understand so that we can best help our clients?
April: It’s important for organizers to understand that there are sometimes deep psychological issues that are maintaining the compulsive buying behavior and that the emotional underpinnings of the problem need to be understood and worked with alongside the behavioral interventions. Organizers need to be very clear about their own boundaries and be aware of the differences between organizing, coaching and psychotherapy.
Linda: What has been your biggest personal challenge around enlisting help?
April: For many years, I engaged in a self-defeating habit that no one in my life saw as a significant issue. In part because of that feedback and also because of my own ambivalence about change, it took a long time for me to seek professional help. By the time I did, I was so clear about wanting to change and ready to change that it no longer mattered what anyone else thought. What a great decision!
Linda: Is there anything else you’d like to share about seeking help that I haven’t asked?
April: It’s important that professional organizers know that there’s no shame, and more likely wisdom, in telling the client that some of what he/she needs goes beyond your area of expertise and that you’ll assist him/her in getting help. This is great modeling for the client who needs to know that effective help is available and that it’s a strength, rather than a weakness to ask for it.
Thank you, April for sharing your ideas about enlisting help. You’ve provided many ways to think about getting the type of support that’s needed. I love your list of questions for finding the right type of professional help. Perhaps what I found most encouraging was your perspective that asking for help is a “strength rather than a weakness.” What a great thought to end with.
I invite you to join April and me as we continue the conversation. We’d love to hear your thoughts about enlisting help. What resonates with you?
As a update to this interview, I am devastated to share that April died on March 29, 2021. She was a tremendous and positive force in this world. I will miss our conversations, touch points, her warmth, and energy. Her presence will be sorely missed. While April is gone, her legacy lives on. In 2019, April sold her business to her friend and colleague, Carrie Rattle. She was trained by April and has taken on the important work of helping those struggling with shopping addiction. If you need help, or know someone that does, please reach out to Carrie.