Posts tagged overwhelm
3 Powerful Questions to Cut Through the Noise and See What's Possible

Figuring out what’s possible can feel elusive for many reasons. Your mind can be busy, distracted, clouded, or overloaded. This “noise” can make it hard to see your options. Other factors can make possibility thinking harder, including:

  • Unsupportive physical environment

  • Overwhelming schedule

  • Difficulty making decisions

What if you had a toolbox of questions that could reduce the chatter, bring clarity, and spark action?

Powerful questions can help you get unstuck while also offering benefits such as:

  • Lowering stress

  • Ruminating less

  • Taking more action

  • Boosting energy

  • Improving well-being

James Clear writes a weekly 3-2-1 newsletter that I love receiving. The format is simple: he shares three ideas, two quotes, and one question. This post draws inspiration from his newsletter.

 

 

3 Powerful Questions to Cut Through the Noise and See What’s Possible

1. Remove Your Distraction

Oh, those distractions! They can be everywhere. There can be so many that trying to eliminate them all feels overwhelming. If physical interruptions or annoyances in your environment are getting in the way, removing one distraction is an excellent place to start.

To do this, Clear suggests that you “Pick one room where you spend a lot of time…Keep what serves you or inspires you. Remove what distracts you.”

Powerful Question 1:

“What is one item in this room that you no longer use or do not benefit from?”
— James Clear

2. Narrow Your Objective

There’s nothing wrong with thinking big or having a lot you want to accomplish. However, if too many goals or ideas make it hard to know what to focus on, consider narrowing the scope. This can help you get unstuck and make progress.

Clear says, “Clarity isn’t about knowing what you want to do with your life, it’s about knowing what you want to do this week. You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need to know your next step.”

Powerful Question 2:

“What is the next step you can take right now to support what you want to do this week?”
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™


3. Reframe Your Focus

Each day, do you tend to focus more on fixing problems or on enhancing what’s working? Neuroscience research suggests that our brains are wired for a negativity bias. In our evolutionary past, paying attention to potential threats helped keep us safe by detecting danger and responding quickly through fight, flight, or freeze. However, this bias can create obstacles today.

By recognizing this bias, you can ask different questions that shift your focus from fixing what’s wrong to building on what’s right. Clear shared an idea from executive coach Joe Hudson. Instead of asking a question that reinforces the negativity bias, “What’s wrong and how do I fix it?” try experimenting with this reframe instead:

Powerful Question 3:

“What’s right and how do I grow it?”
— Joe Hudson

What’s Possible for You?

When you clear the noise, clarify where to focus, and change how you approach what’s in front of you, meaningful progress follows. With three simple questions, you can not only imagine what’s possible but also take the action needed to make it happen.

Which questions resonate with you? How have you used these or similar questions? I’d love to hear your thoughts, and I invite you to join the conversation.

 

 

  

How Can I Help?

Do you feel overwhelmed, stuck, or disorganized? You don't have to face this alone. I’m here to help! Get unstuck and make progress. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward—with a local feel and a global reach.

Let’s talk! I’m easy to reach.

Getting organized, making progress, and focusing on what’s possible are all doable, especially with support.

 
 
How a Fantastic Conference Taught Me More About Virtual Organizing

Recently, I returned from the Institute for Challenging Disorganization’s (ICD) conference, held in Canada this year. Colleagues from around the globe gathered to learn, connect, and explore the latest ideas and research related to neurodivergence and people affected by chronic disorganization.

The conference covered a fascinating range of topics, including ADHD, decision-making, navigating life transitions, clutter, emotional labor, hoarding disorder, motivational interviewing, and communication.

I was thrilled to be part of the panel, “Cultivating Connection: Best Practices for Communication with Neurodivergent Clients,” alongside my wonderful colleagues. Sara Skillen moderated, and Leslie Josel and Elizabeth Brink were the other panelists.

Whenever I’m learning, I have one goal: to learn at least one new thing, discover one new resource, or deepen my connection with something I already know. Honestly, with that simple goal, I consistently come away with far more than one thing.

The ICD conference was no exception.

I’m excited to share some of my takeaways and how they expanded my thinking, reinforced what I already know, and will influence the virtual organizing work I do with clients.

 

What Expanded My Thinking About Virtual Organizing

Emotional Labor

In “The Art of the Invisible: Helping Neurodiverse Families Navigate the Emotional Labor Lifecycle,” presenters Regina Lark, PhD, CPO®, CPO-CD® and Leslie Josel, PCC, discussed how emotional labor, which is mostly invisible and disproportionately handled by moms, is “the exhausting work” and the “cognitive management of household systems.”

Navigating emotional labor, work that never ends, requires executive function (EF) skills that rely heavily on the prefrontal cortex. These include:

  • Planning

  • Focusing

  • Remembering instructions

  • Juggling multiple tasks

  • Managing emotions

  • Working memory

  • Organizing

However, as many of my clients have experienced, EF skills can be especially challenging if you are highly stressed, have prefrontal cortex damage, or have conditions such as ADHD, autism, dyslexia, dyspraxia, or Tourette’s syndrome.

One of the biggest takeaways was distributing the emotional load through “radical delegation. Take perfection off the table. Delegate to someone else, even if they aren’t good at it.  Go for “good enough.”

This made me think differently about virtual organizing. When we work together, we’re not only organizing possessions or creating systems. We’re also considering the mental load behind those systems. What decisions are constantly being made? What is someone trying to remember? What are they managing for themselves or others? And what might be possible to let go of, share, or accept as “good enough”?

Life Transitions

We experience many life transitions. Professor and researcher Dr. Michelle Pannor Silver focused on four in her presentation, “Unpacking Identity: Navigating Later Life Transitions for Those with Organizational Challenges.” She discussed retirement, menopause, clutter, and prioritizing physical resilience.

Much of my work involves helping clients navigate transitions such as moving, starting a new job, divorce, birth, losing a loved one, and other life changes like those Dr. Silver discussed.

One takeaway came from the retirement section. Since our identities are often tied to our work, figuring out what comes next takes thought. Silver stressed the importance of creating “time and mental space to imagine retirement.” It’s not just about getting your finances in order. Take time to envision how you want your post-work life to feel and what you want it to be like. Include “sparking joy” activities.

Another idea that resonated was “recalibrating after loss.” In later years, loss can arrive in many forms, including changes in work status, moving from a familiar environment, changes in physical or cognitive abilities, and the loss of loved ones.

I am thinking differently about virtual organizing in the context of reimagining and recalibrating life. We go through periods when the organizational systems or patterns that used to work suddenly become ineffective. They no longer support who we are now. Virtual organizing sessions can be a wonderful way to work through these shifts and create systems and schedules that support who you are now.

“Decision-making is at the center of everything. It is a core part of being human.”
— Elizabeth Brink, PCC, PCNC®, SEP®

What Reinforced What I Already Know About Virtual Organizing

ADHD

Ari Tuckman, PsyD, MBA, presented “ADHD Can Make Organizing Psychologically Messy.” He emphasized that the ADHD challenge is “not the knowing, but the doing.” Challenges with activation, attention regulation, perfectionism, and time management can make it harder to start. You might know what to do, but these obstacles can make it challenging to get things done.

One question Tuckman suggested was, “What’s a realistic, sustainable goal that you’ll allow yourself to feel good about?” Emphasizing “realistic” and “sustainable” is central to my work with clients.

Tuckman shared many strategies that reinforced the tools and concepts I use with clients. They included:

  • Time – Use analog clocks, alarms, and schedules to build time awareness and make time more visible.

  • Fun – Make tasks less boring and more enjoyable through gamification or a playful spin.

  • Clarify – Ask, “How important is ‘this’ relative to everything else?”

  • Momentum – Do a “bit of something,” and always “hope for momentum.”

  • Experiment – “Be willing to flounder, and be confused.”

  • Decision-Making– If you are having difficulty choosing, flip a coin. It can clarify what you really want.

  • Perfectionism – Focus on “good enough.”

These strategies reflect what I see every day in virtual organizing: knowing what to do and being able to do it aren’t always the same. Virtual organizing sessions can help clients identify what gets in the way, experiment with different approaches, and find strategies that are realistic and sustainable for them.

Decision-Making

Elizabeth Brink, PCC, PCNC®, SEP®, a neurodivergent-centered coach, educator, and trainer, presented “Decision-Making: Neurodivergence, Trauma, and Chronic Disorganization.” Brink stated, “Decision-making is at the center of everything. It is a core part of being human.”

Brink went on to say that “Decision-making is a special kind of hard for neurodivergent humans.” She also said that for neurodivergent people, “Overwhelm is a reasonable response to decision-making.”

When Brink said, “It’s a big deal how to help people make decisions,” I recognized how central nurturing decision-making skills and building agency are to my virtual organizing work. People reach out to me when they feel overwhelmed, and much of that overwhelm comes from difficulty making decisions.

Decision-making skills can be learned. Brink featured several skill-building strategies that align with how I support my clients in making decisions. They include:

  • Empathy – Understand and appreciate what they may be feeling or experiencing, without judgment.

  • Demystify – Learn how they make decisions, what’s worked well for them in the past, the process they’ve used, and how we can tweak or apply that process to current choices.

  • Capacity – Be mindful of their capacity at that moment, normalize pauses, take breaks to avoid decision fatigue, and encourage a slower pace when needed.

Always Be Learning

Every conference leaves me with something to think about, but this one reminded me why I value learning so much. Sometimes a new idea changes how I approach my work. Other times, it gives me language for what I already know and see in my work with clients. Both are valuable.

I’m excited to bring these insights into my virtual organizing sessions and stay curious, experiment, and learn alongside my clients.

How Can I Help?

Do you feel overwhelmed, stuck, or disorganized? You don’t have to face it alone. I’m here to help! Get unstuck and make progress. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward—with a local feel and a global reach.

Let’s talk! I’m easy to reach.

Getting organized, making progress, and reaching your goals are doable, especially with support.

 
 
How to Use a Simple Way to Get Unstuck and Spark Motivation Now

Feeling stuck is something everyone experiences. It can also take a toll on motivation. Have you felt this way lately?

There can be many reasons you might feel at a standstill, such as:

  • Overwhelm from a big or complex project

  • Perfectionism and the belief that you have to do it “the right way”

  • Decision fatigue that leaves you with little capacity to act

  • Unclear about what to do next

  • Lack of accountability or support

  • Unrealistic expectations about what can be accomplished

  • Fear of failure, success, or making the wrong decision

  • Waiting until you feel motivated

Do any of these sound familiar, or is there another reason holding you back?

 

 

 

The “I Can’t” Mindset

When you get stuck, something psychological can happen. Instead of feeling a sense of agency and believing you will figure things out and move forward, you focus on what isn’t possible or what you can’t do.

The “I Can’t” mindset could be what’s keeping you stuck. You might ruminate or focus on messages like:

  • “This project is so big. I’ll never get it done.”

  • “I don’t know where to start.”

  • “I don’t have the time.”

  • “I don’t have the energy.”

  • “It’s impossible for me to get organized.”

  • “I’ll never catch up.”

  • “I’m afraid I’ll make the wrong decision.”

  • “I need to feel motivated first.”

Are any of these phrases ones you ‘hear’ yourself say? Identifying your unique “I Can’t” provides valuable insight into what’s keeping you blocked.

 

 

 

The Shift That Unlocks You, Builds Momentum, and Sparks Motivation

Mindset is everything. It can make all the difference in how you experience life and in what you do or don’t do. One way to take control of the narrative that hasn’t been working for you is to change the dialogue.

Instead of focusing on what’s not possible or your “I Can’t” list, use one of these possibility-infused questions to work its magic. Some options include:

  • What’s one small step I can take right now?

  • What’s possible today?

  • What’s one thing I can do in the next five minutes?

  • What’s good enough for today?

  • What would make this a little easier?

And if you want an elegantly simple question, here’s one from James Clear that I love:

“What can I do?”

Ask a possibility-focused question to immediately shift your mindset toward a more positive, proactive one. 

“What can I do?”
— James Clear

The Choice Is Yours

It doesn’t feel good to be stuck. Your internal dialogue strongly shapes whether you stay stuck or move forward. Pay attention to the messages you tell yourself. You have the power to shift the dialogue from “I can’t” to “I can.”

Which phrases help or hurt you? How could a shift in mindset benefit you? How would that shift help you get unstuck? In what ways would it help build your motivation? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 

 

How Can I Help?

Do you feel overwhelmed, disorganized, and stuck? Are you struggling with a lack of motivation? I’m here to help! You don’t have to do this alone. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – Local feel with a global reach.

Let’s talk! I’m easy to reach.

Getting organized, cultivating motivation, and reaching your goals are possible, especially with support.

 
 
Here Are 5 Most Interesting and Best Next Step Discoveries - v54

Enjoy the latest edition (v54) of the “What’s Interesting?” series, which features my most recent finds that inspire, spark curiosity, and relate to organizing and life balance. These unique next step discoveries reflect this month’s blog theme.

You are an engaged, vibrant, and generous group. I am deeply grateful for your ongoing presence, positive energy, and contributions to this community. I look forward to your participation and further contributions to this curated collection.

What do you find interesting?

 

 


What’s Interesting? – 5 Best Next Step Discoveries

1. Interesting Read – Compassionate Next Step

Recently, a client shared with me a book she was reading, How to Keep House While Drowning – A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing by therapist, author, podcaster, and speaker KC Davis, LPC. I was curious, so I read it, too.

The ideas resonated deeply with my client, who appreciated the realistic, kind approach to organizing and care tasks that encouraged gentle next steps. One of KC’s philosophies is “You don’t exist to serve your space; your space exists to serve you.”

How often do you feel like your stuff is running you? KC helps shift the perspective and offers advice for “how to care for ourselves when we feel like we are drowning.”

From practical organizing and cleaning tips to kinder self-talk, KC shares personal experiences of what has worked for her and others. She describes care tasks (laundry, cooking, cleaning, organizing, etc.) as neutral rather than a moral failing, even when they challenge you.

KC describes her own perspective shift and says, “Let me tell you what the mess in my home means. It means I’m alive. Dirty dishes mean I’ve fed myself. Scattered hobby supplies mean I am creative. Scattered toys and mess mean I am a fun mom…And occasionally, mess means I’m struggling with depression or stress. But those aren’t moral failings either, and neither is that moldy coffee cup I keep not taking to the kitchen.”

A few additional reframes KC offers include:

  • “Chores > care tasks”

  • “Chores are obligations. Care tasks are kindness to self.”

  • “Cleaning > resetting the space.”

  • “Cleaning is endless. Resetting the space has a goal.”

  • “It’s so messy in here! > this space has reached the end of its functional cycle.”

Filled with personal struggles and compassionate solutions, KC guides us on a journey toward reducing self-criticism and guilt, and finding more peace at home, one step at a time.

 

 

 

 

2. Interesting Perspective – Restful Next Step

It’s easy to overlook your needs. Do you find yourself pushing, doing, scheduling, organizing, and constantly in motion? There is a reason we call ourselves human beings, not human doings. ‘Being’ involves both action and rest.

A recent Real Simple article featured a Swedish tradition called “fredagsmys” that beautifully encourages a balance between work and relaxation. The translation means “cozy Friday” or “Friday coziness.” This marks an intentional shift from the workweek to a relaxing weekend. Fredagsmys embodies connection, relaxation, and comfort. It is practiced by spending Friday night at home with your family or friends, watching movies, relaxing, eating, connecting, and being cozy with soft blankets and low lighting.

If you find yourself constantly pushing, adding some fredagsmys into your week could be the next step you need. But if that feels too big and challenging, find other smaller ways to build in rest and no-stress moments. Baby steps.

Before you know it, you’ll be ready for an entire night of relaxation, connection, and calm.

 

 

 

 

 

3. Interesting Product – Organized Next Step  

As the clocks just moved ahead an hour for the annual ‘spring forward,’ this signals that the season is about to change. Another sign is the greenery emerging from the ground. The plants are happy to see the light after being buried under piles of snow.

With that spring lens in mind, I came across this lovely butter-yellow or “yellow pear” steel rolling storage cart with a wood top. It’s a limited- edition collaborative design created by Yamazaki and Apartment Therapy.

If you need additional storage space with easy access for kitchen essentials like spices, oils, pasta, or snacks, this slim rolling cart (5” deep x 18” wide x 27” tall) will fit into the smallest spots.

This storage cart will make it easy and fun to organize your essentials.

 

“You don’t exist to serve your space; your space exists to serve you.”
— KC Davis, LPC

4. Interesting Resource – Capture Next Step

With over thirty years of helping clients declutter, let go, and get organized, I’ve seen firsthand how belongings hold meaning. This is one reason why letting go can be challenging.

Artifcts founder Heather Nickerson developed an app-based service that helps you record stories and memories about meaningful items and share them securely with loved ones. Documenting each item’s story can be key to letting go of the physical object.

The easy-to-use app helps you add photos, videos, audio recordings, and notes. You can document “what an item is, why it matters, and what should happen to it next.” This is an invaluable tool when you’re “organizing, downsizing, or planning your legacy.”

Heather’s inspiration for launching Artifcts came after her mother’s death. She inherited her mom’s possessions but really wanted to know the stories behind them. However, her mom was no longer there to share those stories. Artifcts helps you “preserve the meaning behind the objects that speak to who we are and where we’ve been.”

If you want your next step to include memorializing and letting go, this app is worth exploring.

 

  

 

 

5. Interesting Thought – Tiny Next Step

When your next step feels overwhelming, it might be too large. There are several ways to move forward. The first is to reduce the overwhelm. When you’re emotionally heightened, the amygdala takes over and blocks access to the thinking and action parts of the brain.

One strategy is to do some simple breathing.

  • Breathe in deeply through your nose.

  • Exhale through your mouth longer than the inhale.

  • Repeat that several times.

Your system will settle and calm, giving you the capacity to choose what happens next.

Once you’re in a less anxious state, take the next step by making it as small as possible. This helps prevent feeling overwhelmed. For example, instead of deciding that the next step is decluttering the entire kitchen, choose to declutter one corner of the kitchen counter. If that feels too overwhelming, focus on decluttering a small pile or simply removing items that are being routed elsewhere.

After completing that tiny step, you can choose to continue or stop. If you decide to do more, repeat the process and pick another tiny next step. Small and doable is better than big and paralyzing.

 

 

 

 

Next Step Options

When you want to move forward but feel stuck, what will help? There are many approaches and ways to consider next, as I shared with you.

Which of these discoveries resonates most? Do you have any next step ideas to add? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

 

 

 

 

How Can I Help?

Do you feel overwhelmed, stuck, or disorganized? Is figuring out your next step feeling elusive? I’m here to help. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – Local feel with a global reach.

Let’s talk. I’m easy to reach.

Moving forward and getting organized are possible, especially with support.