Recently, I returned from the Institute for Challenging Disorganization’s (ICD) conference, held in Canada this year. Colleagues from around the globe gathered to learn, connect, and explore the latest ideas and research related to neurodivergence and people affected by chronic disorganization.

The conference covered a fascinating range of topics, including ADHD, decision-making, navigating life transitions, clutter, emotional labor, hoarding disorder, motivational interviewing, and communication.

I was thrilled to be part of the panel, “Cultivating Connection: Best Practices for Communication with Neurodivergent Clients,” alongside my wonderful colleagues. Sara Skillen moderated, and Leslie Josel and Elizabeth Brink were the other panelists.

Whenever I’m learning, I have one goal: to learn at least one new thing, discover one new resource, or deepen my connection with something I already know. Honestly, with that simple goal, I consistently come away with far more than one thing.

The ICD conference was no exception.

I’m excited to share some of my takeaways and how they expanded my thinking, reinforced what I already know, and will influence the virtual organizing work I do with clients.

What Expanded My Thinking About Virtual Organizing

Emotional Labor

In “The Art of the Invisible: Helping Neurodiverse Families Navigate the Emotional Labor Lifecycle,” presenters Regina Lark, PhD, CPO®, CPO-CD® and Leslie Josel, PCC, discussed how emotional labor, which is mostly invisible and disproportionately handled by moms, is “the exhausting work” and the “cognitive management of household systems.”

Navigating emotional labor, work that never ends, requires executive function (EF) skills that rely heavily on the prefrontal cortex. These include:

• Planning

• Focusing

• Remembering instructions

• Juggling multiple tasks

• Managing emotions

• Working memory

• Organizing

However, as many of my clients have experienced, EF skills can be especially challenging if you are highly stressed, have prefrontal cortex damage, or have conditions such as ADHD, autism, dyslexia, dyspraxia, or Tourette’s syndrome.

One of the biggest takeaways was distributing the emotional load through “radical delegation. Take perfection off the table. Delegate to someone else, even if they aren’t good at it.  Go for “good enough.”

This made me think differently about virtual organizing. When we work together, we’re not only organizing possessions or creating systems. We’re also considering the mental load behind those systems. What decisions are constantly being made? What is someone trying to remember? What are they managing for themselves or others? And what might be possible to let go of, share, or accept as “good enough”?

Life Transitions

We experience many life transitions. Professor and researcher Dr. Michelle Pannor Silver focused on four in her presentation, “Unpacking Identity: Navigating Later Life Transitions for Those with Organizational Challenges.” She discussed retirement, menopause, clutter, and prioritizing physical resilience.

Much of my work involves helping clients navigate transitions such as moving, starting a new job, divorce, birth, losing a loved one, and other life changes like those Dr. Silver discussed.

One takeaway came from the retirement section. Since our identities are often tied to our work, figuring out what comes next takes thought. Silver stressed the importance of creating “time and mental space to imagine retirement.” It’s not just about getting your finances in order. Take time to envision how you want your post-work life to feel and what you want it to be like. Include “sparking joy” activities.

Another idea that resonated was “recalibrating after loss.” In later years, loss can arrive in many forms, including changes in work status, moving from a familiar environment, changes in physical or cognitive abilities, and the loss of loved ones.

I am thinking differently about virtual organizing in the context of reimagining and recalibrating life. We go through periods when the organizational systems or patterns that used to work suddenly become ineffective. They no longer support who we are now. Virtual organizing sessions can be a wonderful way to work through these shifts and create systems and schedules that support who you are now.

“Decision-making is at the center of everything. It is a core part of being human.”

— Elizabeth Brink, PCC, PCNC®, SEP®

What Reinforced What I Already Know About Virtual Organizing

ADHD

Ari Tuckman, PsyD, MBA, presented “ADHD Can Make Organizing Psychologically Messy.” He emphasized that the ADHD challenge is “not the knowing, but the doing.” Challenges with activation, attention regulation, perfectionism, and time management can make it harder to start. You might know what to do, but these obstacles can make it challenging to get things done.

One question Tuckman suggested was, “What’s a realistic, sustainable goal that you’ll allow yourself to feel good about?” Emphasizing “realistic” and “sustainable” is central to my work with clients.

Tuckman shared many strategies that reinforced the tools and concepts I use with clients. They included:

• Time – Use analog clocks, alarms, and schedules to build time awareness and make time more visible.

• Fun – Make tasks less boring and more enjoyable through gamification or a playful spin.

• Clarify – Ask, “How important is ‘this’ relative to everything else?”

• Momentum – Do a “bit of something,” and always “hope for momentum.”

• Experiment – “Be willing to flounder, and be confused.”

• Decision-Making– If you are having difficulty choosing, flip a coin. It can clarify what you really want.

• Perfectionism – Focus on “good enough.”

These strategies reflect what I see every day in virtual organizing: knowing what to do and being able to do it aren’t always the same. Virtual organizing sessions can help clients identify what gets in the way, experiment with different approaches, and find strategies that are realistic and sustainable for them.

Decision-Making

Elizabeth Brink, PCC, PCNC®, SEP®, a neurodivergent-centered coach, educator, and trainer, presented “Decision-Making: Neurodivergence, Trauma, and Chronic Disorganization.” Brink stated, “Decision-making is at the center of everything. It is a core part of being human.”

Brink went on to say that “Decision-making is a special kind of hard for neurodivergent humans.” She also said that for neurodivergent people, “Overwhelm is a reasonable response to decision-making.”

When Brink said, “It’s a big deal how to help people make decisions,” I recognized how central nurturing decision-making skills and building agency are to my virtual organizing work. People reach out to me when they feel overwhelmed, and much of that overwhelm comes from difficulty making decisions.

Decision-making skills can be learned. Brink featured several skill-building strategies that align with how I support my clients in making decisions. They include:

• Empathy – Understand and appreciate what they may be feeling or experiencing, without judgment.

• Demystify – Learn how they make decisions, what’s worked well for them in the past, the process they’ve used, and how we can tweak or apply that process to current choices.

• Capacity – Be mindful of their capacity at that moment, normalize pauses, take breaks to avoid decision fatigue, and encourage a slower pace when needed.

Always Be Learning

Every conference leaves me with something to think about, but this one reminded me why I value learning so much. Sometimes a new idea changes how I approach my work. Other times, it gives me language for what I already know and see in my work with clients. Both are valuable.

I’m excited to bring these insights into my virtual organizing sessions and stay curious, experiment, and learn alongside my clients.

How Can I Help?

Do you feel overwhelmed, stuck, or disorganized? You don’t have to face it alone. I’m here to help! Get unstuck and make progress. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward—with a local feel and a global reach.

Let’s talk! I’m easy to reach.

• Schedule a Discovery Call

• Fill out the Contact Form

• Email me at linda@ohsoorganized.com or

• Call 914-271-5673

Getting organized, making progress, and reaching your goals are doable, especially with support.

Do you have a hard time asking for help? Especially for those who are more accustomed to giving than receiving, enlisting help can be particularly challenging. I was curious what my colleagues in various helping professions thought about this idea. I asked Sue West, Kim Oser, Geralin Thomas, Ellen Delap, Andrea Sharb, Helena Alkhas, and Yota Schneider, “What was a benefit you received when you recently enlisted help?” While their responses ranged from general to specific, in each case, the benefit they got was a welcome and unexpected surprise. Their enlisting help discoveries are inspiring and encouraging. My gratitude goes to each of them for making time to reflect and share.

What was a benefit you received when you recently enlisted help? . . .

 Great Collaboration

“Asking for help meant that I couldn’t do it all, yet I wanted to! Time and again, I‘ve been proven wrong. Earlier this year, I was talking with a colleague about wanting to create a time management workshop, but with a different perspective. I was stuck. I was asking for advice, and instead, I got so much more. We created the program together and in record time. We learned from and used respective strengths, e.g., networking for workshop hosts or operational details. For workshop participants, the content was richer, and our interaction brought greater engagement. One question and look at all that’s happened! Yet again!” 

Sue West, COC®, CPO-CD® – Certified Organizer Coach & Certified Professional Organizer in Chronic Disorganization

Great Support

“It is so easy to take everything on ourselves but it is not always the best solution. We often get tripped up by our fears and go nowhere. I recently was looking to start using an unfamiliar social media resource. I did some research and then contacted a colleague whose success with this resource I admired. I not only learned ways to use it but her help knocked down the fear and enabled me dive in. It is amazing how much easier life can be and how you can achieve greater success when you just reach out for a little help.”

Kim Oser, CPO® – Certified Professional Organizer, Productivity Coach & Blogger

Great Expertise

“Recently, I was contemplating a client-discount for large blocks of time booked with a team of subcontractors. I asked my accountant for ideas on how to approach this and make it a win-win-win for me (the owner of the company), the client, and the sub-contractor.  She immediately did the math and delivered the bottom line:  if/when I discount clients, my subcontractor's percentage of earnings increases while mine decreases unless the sub-contractor decreases her rate as well. That is extremely useful knowledge to have when planning projects, budgets and team members' rates.”

Geralin Thomas, CPO-CD® – Instructor & Consultant for New Professional Organizers

Great Partnerships

“Asking for help has always been natural to me with my team player attitude. When you ask for help, you are signaling to others that it’s not only okay to ask, but everyone’s work and life are all the better for it. Others respond and also ask for help as well. Professionally I ask for help in tasks that I am less familiar with, such as technology or software use. I like to be very specific about what help I need and create a timeline that will work for everyone. This strategy has created great partnerships.”

Ellen Delap, CPO®  – Certified Professional Organizer & Family Manager & Productivity Consultant

Great Accountability

“I’ve been considering offering a group coaching course for ADHD adults for well over a year. I even have a number of individuals interested in participating. I noticed recently that I was having trouble moving past the conceptualization phase. I therefore enlisted the help of a fellow coach who I thought would share my enthusiasm for creating and offering this course. The benefit of asking for help in this situation is accountability. Working with someone else and breaking down and assigning tasks needed to get the course rolling is helping me move beyond conceptualization and into realization.”

Andrea Sharb, ACC, CPO-CD®, COC, CPO® – Professional Organizer & Certified Coach 

Great Savings

“From the babysitter to the graphic designer I have learned the hard way not to try to do it all. While I'd love to take care of things myself, I realized that I was spending more energy, time and money when I didn't enlist help. I finally listed all the activities that would cost me more, both personally and in my business, if I didn't delegate or outsource. Now, I keep a list of resources (free & paid) that I go to on a regular basis. I am more focused, more productive and more relaxed. My favorite help is the grocery delivery service.”

Helena Alkhas – Professional Organizer & Social Media Virtual Assistant

Great Solace

“I was raised to be self-reliant to a fault. Through life experience, I had to learn the art of asking and receiving. My most recent experience of asking for help was last October when my father was suddenly hospitalized. I traveled to Greece to be with him. He declined within three days of my arrival. I found myself in a decision making position that I wasn't completely prepared for. I had to find the fine balance between asking for what I needed without becoming a burden. I gave up expectations and allowed people to help in small ways that were easy for them but made a huge difference to me. Looking back, I know that it was because of this network of "helping angels" that I was able to maintain my focus, stay centered, and see my Dad through his final journey. I feel blessed and grateful.”

Yota Schneider, Seasons of Change Certified Master Coach – Life Transitions Coach, Workshops & Retreat Facilitator, Blogger, & Mindfulness Meditation Practitioner

Enlisting help is the topic we’ll focus on this month. I love how the stories shared by my colleagues are a great way to begin our dialogue. What resonated with you? Do you easily ask for help or do you tend to do everything yourself? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation and share your thoughts about enlisting help successes, challenges, and ideas.

Do you prefer to do everything yourself? Do you get overwhelmed because you do too much? I’ve been guilty of not asking for help because it seems like it’s faster, easier, or less complicated if I just do it myself. I’ve learned that this isn’t always beneficial. If you find it difficult to enlist help, the pros and cons lists might help you shift your perspective.

Enlisting Help:  The “Pros”

• Benefit by another person’s expertise, wisdom, and creativity
• Focus on using the best of self by delegating tasks that are less interesting
• More time to spend on what’s most important
• Learn new skills
• Move past being stuck and overwhelmed
• Accomplish more because of delegating and accountability

Enlisting Help: The “Cons”

• Have to clarify and explain needs 
• Help might not be the right fit (person or profession) 
• Work might not get done exactly as you would do it 
• Have to let go of some control 
• Need to manage, set boundaries, and expectations 
• Might feel embarrassed to ask for help 

Learning how to ask for help, knowing when you need it, and finding the right type of help can be tremendously useful skills to hone. All of the “cons” listed have a positive side. For example, enlisting help can be disappointing and ineffectual if it’s not the right fit. Let’s say you are looking to hire a professional organizer to help organize your home office. It’s worth getting referrals from friends or resources like NAPO or ICD. Contact more than one professional so that you can select the one best suits your personality, budget, and needs. Doing research will give you a better chance of finding that right fit.

Think about areas you are struggling with. Would you benefit by enlisting help from a family member, friend, or professional that you trust? What’s your next step? Come join the conversation and share a pro, con, or next step.