Do you feel more stressed during the holiday season? What is the source? Holiday-related stress might revolve around travel planning, gift-giving, card-writing, decorating, over-committing, or entertaining.

As someone who enjoys and has hosted many gatherings, I continually work on reducing stress. Experience helps. The more I do something, the easier and less stressful it becomes, and the better I am at planning and navigating surprises. However, a more significant aspect is mindset. If I keep telling myself how stressed I am, what happens? I reinforce that feeling.

What is Scruffy Hospitality?

Recently, I heard about “scruffy hospitality,” which is a more relaxed approach to entertaining. It’s a practice and also a mindset. The idea is to prioritize connection and conversation over obsession with creating picture-perfect environments and Instagram-worthy meals. The concept includes having people over without cleaning up first and approaching food more simply. Instead of making elaborate dishes, ‘scruffy’ entertaining loves potlucks, leftovers, and takeout.

While “scruffy hospitality” was coined a decade ago by Jack King, an Anglican priest from Tennessee, it has received more attention in the last few years. It rejects unrealistic social media standards that create pressure on us to be “perfect hosts.” Scruffy hospitality is a nod to embracing imperfection and authenticity. These involve letting go.

For this holiday season, especially if you’re stressed, I encourage you to incorporate some ‘scruffy’ into your life. It will look different for each person. Consider how beneficial scruffy hospitality could be for reducing your stress.

As a seasoned host, ‘scruffy’ isn’t a term I naturally associate with entertaining. I like to clean and prepare. Don’t get me started on my to-do lists. I enjoy the visual aspect of decorating the tables, arranging flowers, and creating colorfully plated dishes. Those aspects aren’t stressful for me. However, those and other aspects of entertaining might be stressful for you. And if it is, some of the suggestions below can help.

11 Ways to Reduce Holiday Stress by Embracing Scruffy Hospitality

• Reframe Clean – Do a quick clean instead of a deep one. Or hire someone else to clean.
  

• Organize Less – Declutter the dining room only, leaving all other areas in their ‘as is’ state.

• Recruit Help – Ask guests to bring parts of the meal.

• Minimize Decor – There is no need to go wild. A single plant, a small vase of flowers, a bowl of fruit, or an arrangement of gourds is a minimalist way to decorate a table. You can also leave things bare.

• Be Present – Cook with your guests instead of preparing things in advance.
  

• Try Self-Serve – Set up your food buffet-style rather than as a plated, sit-down meal.

• Don’t Cook – Forget about cooking anything. Purchase the entire meal or a few dishes.
  

• Do Less - Simplify your menu with fewer choices or prepare dishes requiring minimal ingredients.
  

• Dress Down – Be comfortable and show up as you are. No fancy clothes are required.
  

• Reduce Scope – Fewer guests can make the gathering more manageable. Dial down your invite list to reflect your ideal number of guests.

• Simplify Gift Giving – Focus on clutter-less gifts for you and the recipients. Give meaningful time-centered gifts like movie tickets, museum passes, or personal care services.

“Scruffy hospitality is a nod to embracing imperfection and authenticity.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

How I’m Incorporating Scruffy Hospitality This Season

One thing I decided to do differently this year is not to bake the apple and pumpkin pies. Instead, our daughter generously offered to make pies. While I’ve always baked, removing the pie-baking task frees up some time and reduces stress around coordinating kitchen usage with my husband. We share cooking for Thanksgiving and work around each other’s schedules and tasks. No pie baking this year means I’ll eliminate the stress of negotiating for counter, oven, and refrigerator space.

The other area where ‘scruffy’ applies is the number of guests. We love having a houseful of family and friends for the holidays. However, some guests have health issues or scheduling conflicts this year. While we’ll miss them greatly on Thanksgiving, fewer guests give me more time to talk with people. Managing the flow of the space is less stressful with fewer people, too.

Human-Considered Holidays

The holidays don’t have to be stressful. There are many ways to increase joy and minimize stress. How can you relax your approach to holiday hospitality? What will help you make it more joy-filled and less stressful? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

Do you want help decluttering, organizing, brainstorming, or planning? Do you need an accountability partner? I’m here for you. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward - A local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.

There are times when life goes sideways. The unthinkable happens, and you feel you have no control over anything. Your mood is dark, and hope is barely accessible. Cognitively, you understand there are no guarantees in life and that chaos is present. Yet, how do you cope? What can you do when nothing makes sense, and things feel out of control?

I don’t pretend to have the answers or know what you’re experiencing. I’m navigating this challenging time, too. Yet, I have a few strategies that are helping me, which might be helpful to you.

Instead of focusing on the areas you have no control over, shift your attention. Identify and engage in what is nourishing and within your control.

5 Courageous Coping Strategies When Life Feels Out of Control

1. Supercharge Your Self-Care

Take care of yourself. During stressful times, you might ignore the basics. However, doing that makes you feel worse and less able to cope with challenges.

Recommit to self-care basics. Get enough sleep, hydrate, eat nutritiously, and move your body. Walking in nature has additional mood-boosting benefits.

Beyond essential self-care, consider getting a massage, manicure, or pedicure. Or how about taking a yoga, exercise, or meditation class?

Be kind to yourself and engage in intentional, mood-enhancing activities within your control.

“Recommit to self-care basics.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

 2. Engage With Your Community

You might want to retreat when feeling out of sorts. However, I encourage you to do the opposite. Reach out to those who are also feeling ‘it.’ You’re not alone.

Your friends and family may be struggling, too. Connect with your loved ones. Pool your strengths while offering and receiving support.

3. Curate the Input

Scrolling social media, listening to the news, and fueling the fire may not be the healthiest choice. Cut yourself off (even if temporarily) when the external input you’re allowing adds to those out-of-control feelings.

Just as I encouraged you to eat nutritious foods to nourish your body, do something similar for your mind. Curate the input to minimize anxiety-producing thoughts and maximize ones with a more positive effect.

This could be a great time to read that new book or your favorite magazine from cover to cover. Or maybe you prefer to watch a comedy show or movie.

I’m not suggesting you ignore the outside world forever, but for this day, while building your resilience, choose to disengage with stress-inducing news. Control the input.

“Identify and engage in what is nourishing and within your control.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

4. Make Something

There is a gift in making something from nothing. What kind of something? Maybe you like to bake, write blog posts or in journals, take photographs, write poetry, or knit scarves. Perhaps you want to paint, write music, do a craft project, or create fancy cocktails.

Take control of a joy-inducing physical activity and make something. Enjoy the process and the result.

I’ve already journaled and worked on this post. Guess what else I did? I baked (and ate) some Almond Butter Chocolate Chip cookies. Fortunately, these cookies are not only delicious but also nutritious. I just have to remember to eat them in moderation. Wish me luck.

5. Declutter Your Space

Physical disorganization and chaos in your environment can affect how you feel and function. The disarray adds to a feeling of lack of control. You don’t know where things are or have the mind space to focus.

There is mood-boosting power in decluttering and organizing. The act of doing, making a change, and then experiencing the benefits of that shift is palpable.

You can’t control everything, but you can improve your corner of the world (or desk).

Human Coping Skills

Remember, you are resilient, and you have people to lean on. To help navigate challenging times, exert control in tiny yet significant ways. This won’t change everything, but it will help to calm and ground you. What coping strategies do you use when life feels chaotic?

If you need help decluttering, organizing, planning, or grounding, I’m here for you. Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.

There will always be tasks to do, projects to complete, and calls, texts, or emails to return. These can be motivation drivers. However, they can also derail and de-motivate. You can burn out when you’re constantly doing and striving without breaks or spaciousness.

Do you feel overwhelmed by your to-do lists, incomplete projects, and things you ‘should’ be doing?

I’ve been there, as have many of my clients, family, and friends. Surprisingly, one antidote to doing too much is to slow down. This may seem counter-intuitive and a strange way to boost motivation. However, it’s not just about taking a break from your list.

Make time to savor life and engage in restorative activities that replenish your energy.

Savoring Life

What works will be different for each person. For me, savoring and slowing down include:

• Getting enough sleep

• Meditating

• Refusing to rush

• Going away and changing my environment

• Practicing yoga

• Spending time with family and friends

• Having alone time

• Journaling

• Showering

• Being on or near water

• Getting a massage or pedicure

• Eating juicy summer fruit

• Slowing sipping an iced coffee or tea

• Sitting in the sun

• Exploring new places

• Setting boundaries

• Leaning into and being present in the moment

A Japanese Concept

Do you know about yutori? According to DailyOM™, yutori is “a Japanese concept of spaciousness. It refers to slowing down to simply breathe, and savor life – intentionally creating space to relax and reflect without being under constant pressure.”

How would integrating yutori into your life benefit you?

Motivation Cycles

I’m a doer and a completer. I love setting goals and accomplishing them. The first six months of this year were especially active. And guess what? I needed a break from that intensity, which I knew the summer would bring. My pace is slower even though I’m still actively working with organizing clients and on several projects.

This summer, I intentionally created more space for restorative, nourishing activities in addition to work. My latest motivation-restoring adventures include going to the beach, exploring new museums, listening to live music, and eating a delicious treat.  

“Make time to savor life and engage in restorative activities that replenish your energy.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

4 Ways to Restore Motivation

1. Being by the Sea

Waves in. Waves out. The sound of the ocean waves moving forward and backward along the sandy shore is soothing. The sun warms my skin as slight breezes and cool water prevent me from overheating. By the sea, there is no agenda, no lists to take care of. Time stretches as I wiggle my toes in the sand.

2. Exploring New and Old Places

My husband and I visited the Queens Museum and Flushing Meadow Corona Park this weekend.

The Queens Museum is located on the Flushing Meadow Corona Park grounds, where the 1939 and 1964 World's Fairs were held. I was there 60 years ago for the World’s Fair and have spotty yet happy memories of going with my family.

Steve and I walked the grounds, marveled at the 700,000-pound stainless steel Unisphere, talked about our childhood World’s Fair memories, and were wowed by the Panorama, a scaled cityscape model of the five New York City boroughs.

The exploration didn’t end there. We ventured on to another area of Queens.

3. Learning and Listening

Our next stop was the Louis Armstrong House Museum. We had a wonderful tour of his house, explored the museum, and, in Armstrong’s garden, heard a fantastic jazz quartet with Jon-Erik Kellso playing the trumpet.

It reminded me how much I love hearing live music. I grew up in a house full of musicians. People were always playing, practicing, learning, teaching, composing, jamming, and performing. Watching and listening to musicians share their gifts is so joyful. I had a positive, visceral response to being outside and hearing live music.

Louis Armstrong lived his life with passion, purpose, and generosity. It was moving and inspiring to be in his space, hear stories about his life, and listen to musicians embodying this rich tradition of jazz music.

4. Eating a Delicious Treat

The exploratory day was completed by dinner at a fantastic local Italian restaurant in Queens. However, before dinner, we ate dessert. It’s fun to shake things up sometimes.

Steve brought me to the famous Lemon Ice King of Corona to get ices. I was so excited! What’s not to love about a cold, refreshing dessert? The hardest part was choosing which flavor to get. They have over 50 options, although lemon ice is their most popular. They don’t mix flavors but will let you try one before you decide.

I ended up choosing cantaloupe ice, which was amazing! Steve got chocolate, which was also delicious. After dinner, we almost returned for seconds but were too full. We’ll return another time.

Motivation needs to be cultivated. Slowing down, savoring life, having new experiences, and giving yourself a break from life’s pressures is a great way to do that. What helps you restore your motivation?

If you need help restoring motivation and getting organized, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or schedule a Discovery Call. Reaching your goals is possible, especially with support.

What are your days like? Is life moving along smoothly? Or are your days filled with overwhelm, ups and downs, and challenges? There are times when finding your next step flows easily. At other points, the next step feels elusive. What if next included embracing “small awe” moments? How would that change the mood for your day and your experience of next?

Have you ever seen or experienced something that evoked such a sense of awe that you could barely find words to describe it? I remember visiting the Grand Canyon decades ago. My husband and I stood on the edge, looking at the magnificent expanse and feeling that deep awe. We were speechless.

Experiencing big awe because of natural wonders, cosmic events, encounters with wildlife, moments of surprise, spiritual experiences, human achievement, art, scientific discoveries, or personal transformation is amazing yet rare.

Small Awe Concept

The idea of small awe is more readily accessible. I was introduced to the concept when I visited the Dinner Gallery in New York City with my daughter, Allison. We saw the Time Is A Fire exhibit by artist Langdon Graves, who gave a talk about her work. Langdon used the phrase “small awe” to describe the intent behind some of her pieces. I’ve been thinking about that idea ever since. She said these tiny moments of awe are always available to us. However, we often don’t stop long enough to recognize them.

a Small Awe Next Step

What if your next step was discovering and enjoying a small awe moment? That might be . . .

• Seeing the first purple crocus of the season emerge from the earth

• Hearing your client declare confidently the progress they are making

• Crossing off the last task on your to-do list for the day

• Feeling the sun warm your body after days of gray, gloomy weather

• Going to the post office to mail your tax packet to your accountant

• Basking in the post-mindfulness meditation calm

• Taking in the coffee aroma and flavor from your favorite mug

• Sensing the warm water cover you as you shower or soak luxuriously in a tub

• Enjoying the open space you have in your closet after decluttering, organizing, and donating some clothes

• Hearing the sound of your loved one’s voice on the other end of the phone

• Climbing into your cozy bed after a long day

• Making progress on that big project, you were procrastinating about

• Having a great conversation with dear friends

“Be on the lookout for a ‘small awe’ moment.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Next can be a grand gesture or something smaller. It can be infused with awe. Are you stuck and unsure about what to do next? Be on the lookout for small awe moments. It might be just what you need to help you joyfully move forward. What moments are available to you? What will be your next step? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

If you want guidance with your next step, I’m here to help. Please email me at linda@ohsoorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or click here to schedule a Discovery Call. Next is doable, especially with support.