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How to Nurture Joy, Reduce Anxiety, and Bring Balance to the Holidays

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way! I can hear that tune, the sound of the bells, the smell of pine, and the sight of twinkling lights brightening the dark night. This is the season of festivities, gatherings, and joy. It’s also a time when it's all too easy to overdo, overindulge, and overcommit.

Here’s the good news. If you’re already feeling like it’s too much, I’ve come up with some antidotes. You can increase joy, reduce anxiety and stress, and restore more balance. Of course, you can use these strategies at any time, but they can be especially helpful during the holidays when stress can be high.

The underlying concept is based on what you might need more of or less of right now. Experimenting with even one of these could bring you more joy and happiness today. And what’s not to love about that?

 

 

 

 

4 Ways to Foster Joy, Reduce Anxiety, and Bring More Balance Right Now

What I love about these techniques is their simplicity and their ability to address a wide range of needs. Maybe you’re tired or anxious. Perhaps you want to have more fun. Or maybe you’re yearning for the familiar. There’s something for everyone. Pick and choose which strategy or combination of techniques will be most useful for you.


1. Invite in More Rest

I remember kindergarten, when the teacher insisted on nap time. We would unroll uncomfortable, smelly mats onto the hard floor, be quiet and still (not easy for a five-year-old Linda), and be forced to nap for what felt like an eternity. Naptime felt like a punishment. I felt like I was missing out on life. Instead, I wanted to play, talk, learn, and interact with my friends.

However, as an adult, I’ve come to respect and understand the value of giving my mind and body a short time to rest. It’s a beautiful way to stop, refresh, and return with more energy, focus, and kindness.

If you go all in, you’ll come back feeling more relaxed and joy-filled. Here’s the recipe for a short, restorative rest:

  • Find a quiet spot.

  • Wrap yourself in the coziest blanket (my favorite part).

  • Dim the lights.

  • Set an alarm for 15-20 minutes.

  • Allow yourself to settle.

  • Nap away.

This is a wonderful antidote to the “overdoing it” that often comes with the holiday season. If you’re tired or cranky, invite in some rest. Wake up more joy-filled.

 

 

2. Engage in Spontaneous Fun

There are so many truly horrific things happening in the world. They weigh heavily on our hearts and minds, making the idea of having fun feel impossible or inappropriate.

However, to handle the hard things life brings, it’s important to bring some balance by replenishing your resilience reserves. One way to do this is to invite in fun, even if it’s unplanned. Say yes to silliness. That might look like going to a comedy show, having a snowball fight, playing charades, or listening to music while doing goofy dance moves.

The other day, my husband and I had a wonderful BBQ lunch at a local restaurant. It was delicious and filling. It was also right near a local mall. After lunch, we went to the mall, not to shop, but to walk off the beef brisket and hot sausage sandwiches we had just eaten.

As we walked, we discovered Dream Riders, a store that offers electric ride-on plush animals. While they are marketed for kids, adults can ride them, too. I saw the animals lined up and a few kids riding them around, and I thought, “Hey, this looks like fun. I want to try it!”

And since Steve is always up for anything (one of the many things I love about him), he was on board immediately. We spent 10 minutes riding, laughing, smiling, and having a blast. Aside from having fun, the sight of us enjoying ourselves made other people smile and laugh as we passed by, riding our Panda and Tiger.

Embracing impromptu or intentional fun during the holiday season is a wonderful way to nurture joy.

  

 

3. Do a Quick Reset

A few weeks ago, I shared five simple practices to reduce stress. I have one more that helps with handling anxiety, which can surface during the holidays. As wonderful as it can be to visit with family, it can also be anxiety-producing to return home. Anxiety can surface from being around too many people, experiencing more noise than you’re used to, having your routines disrupted, or having unhealthy childhood habits, relationship patterns, or interactions surface.

One strategy that helps is using the 3-3-3 Rule. It’s a simple, effective reset that can be used anywhere, anytime. Here is the method:

  • Set: If possible, go to a private space, such as a bedroom or bathroom, where you won't be disturbed.

  • See: Name three things you see, like a blue glass sink, a green plant, or a white wall lamp.

  • Hear: Name three sounds you hear, like people talking in the other room, the boiler humming, or a truck rumbling outside.

  • Move: Move three parts of your body, such as opening and closing your hands, moving your head side to side, or stretching your arms above your head.

Exercising the 3-3-3 Rule will create distance from your anxious thoughts and ground you in the present moment by engaging with your environment and physical sensations.

This reset is an excellent strategy to reduce anxiety and restore balance during the holiday season and beyond.

  

 

4. Revisit a Tradition

I’m not sure if you’ve had this experience, but for me, some seasonal traditions remain, some are reimagined, and others disappear completely. These traditions can evoke a mix of feelings, from joy and happiness to grief, frustration, longing, excitement, and relief.

One annual tradition we look forward to is celebrating the winter solstice. Lighting the giant bonfire in the woods signals a transition to the new season. It also marks a change, with a gradual return to less darkness and longer, light-filled days.

For 32 years, our friends have invited family and friends to join this magical experience. At night, each person carries a lit candle up the hill into the woods, where a tepee-like structure of wooden sticks stands tall in the darkness. Before the bonfire is lit, we are encouraged to reflect on what was, release what we no longer want, and imagine how we wish the new year to be. The structure is lit and begins to burn slowly.

When ready, each person carefully approaches the fire and tosses their candle in. I watch, mesmerized and in awe, as the flames gain energy and bring warmth. Tinder sparks fly up and dance wildly against the night sky. Crackling sounds, shifting wood, and the voices of people enjoying each other’s company are the evening’s soundtrack.

Traditions can be comforting, especially those that renew and lift your soul. The winter solstice gathering is one of my favorites each year. It’s a joyful way to release the past, imagine the future, and reconnect with special friends in the present. I’m so grateful to John and Judy for keeping this tradition alive.

 

 

 

What Do You Want to Invite This Holiday Season?

Are your holidays infused with joy, anxiety, or both? How would you like them to be? Is the balance and focus off? Which strategies resonate most with you? What brings you joy and balance?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 

 

 

How Can I Help?

Do you feel overwhelmed, disorganized, stressed, or out of balance? Would you like to make changes? I’m here to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – Local feel with a global reach.

Let’s connect! I’m easy to reach.

Getting organized is possible, especially with support.

 
 
Ways to Easily Make Next Step by Joyfully Losing Your Negative List

Yes. It’s still officially winter, and our recent run of several warm days has reverted to colder temperatures. Despite the fluctuating thermometer, I notice hopeful signs of spring as nature begins its blooming ritual. Frequent sightings of green plants push through the ground to greet the blue sun-filled sky. They don’t hesitate. After being dormant for months, rejoining life with gusto is their next step.

Nature’s confident growth got me thinking about things that prevent us from moving forward.

  • How about the mile-long to-do list?

  • Is yours dormant and paralyzing?

  • Or are you actively working on it?

  • Is your list meaningful and necessary?

  • Or is it filled with tasks that aren’t essential and you don’t care about?

  • Is your list so daunting that it brings up negative feelings, regret, and disappointment?

  • Or instead does it inspire you to act?

If you are struggling to determine your next step, here is a novel idea: Lose your ‘negative list.’ Crumple it up, let it go, and say buh-bye! That might sound radical, and perhaps it is. But can you imagine doing it anyway? And if you did, what might happen?

 

What’s On Your Negative List

Things holding you back can be concrete or emotional. They might include things like:

  • Thought loops with messages such as “I can’t” or “I’m not good enough”

  • Projects that would be nice to do, but realistically you’ll never get to

  • Thank you notes that are years overdue

  • Plans you wanted to make with friends or family, but never did

  • Piles of magazines with articles to clip and file

  • Stuff inherited from other people’s lives to sort and edit

  • Papers and objects representing previous careers or life stages to curate and edit

Without realizing it, I had a negative list. It included feeling bad about not yet:

 

 

Make Your Next Step Easier

It may sound too simplistic to lose or release your negative list. However, recognizing how it might be holding you back makes it worth trying.

Maybe you’ll decide you still want to attend to some things on that list. And if so, perhaps a reframe of how you think about that ‘thing’ will make the difference. For example, instead of the projects you’ll never get to demotivating you, celebrate the ones you have accomplished. Review the remaining ones to decide if one is worth pursuing. If so, think about it as a project you get to, not have to do. Release the rest.

As Oliver Burkeman says in Four Thousand Weeks, our time is limited. “The average human lifespan is absurdly, terrifyingly, insultingly short.” We will never get everything done or be able to pursue every possibility that exists. Burkeman says, “we’ve been granted the mental capacities to make almost infinitely ambitious plans, yet practically no time at all to put them into action.”

Recognizing these limitations can be freeing. Don’t try to do everything. Instead, let go of what is holding you back and pursue what’s most meaningful and necessary.

Selecting next will become easier. Guilt will be gone. Action and intention will rule the day. What comes next will be joyfully embraced once you are unencumbered by the lingering tasks you’ve chosen to release from your list.

The average human lifespan is absurdly, terrifyingly, insultingly short.
— Oliver Burkeman

What’s Next?

I might forgo choosing a new word and motto this year and even skip a deeper review of 2024. Just considering that option makes me feel lighter and more energetic. After all, I imposed these things on myself, and I can just as quickly release them from my list.

My next steps will prioritize energizing and nourishing actions, projects, and ideas. What will be next for you? What can you release that is holding you back? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 

  

How Can I Help?

Do you want support organizing, planning, or figuring out your next step? I’d love to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Change is possible, especially with support.

 
 
How to Easily Reduce Holiday Stress by Enjoying Scruffy Hospitality

Do you feel more stressed during the holiday season? What is the source? Holiday-related stress might revolve around travel planning, gift-giving, card-writing, decorating, over-committing, or entertaining.

As someone who enjoys and has hosted many gatherings, I continually work on reducing stress. Experience helps. The more I do something, the easier and less stressful it becomes, and the better I am at planning and navigating surprises. However, a more significant aspect is mindset. If I keep telling myself how stressed I am, what happens? I reinforce that feeling.

 

What is Scruffy Hospitality?

Recently, I heard about “scruffy hospitality,” which is a more relaxed approach to entertaining. It’s a practice and also a mindset. The idea is to prioritize connection and conversation over obsession with creating picture-perfect environments and Instagram-worthy meals. The concept includes having people over without cleaning up first and approaching food more simply. Instead of making elaborate dishes, ‘scruffy’ entertaining loves potlucks, leftovers, and takeout.

While “scruffy hospitality” was coined a decade ago by Jack King, an Anglican priest from Tennessee, it has received more attention in the last few years. It rejects unrealistic social media standards that create pressure on us to be “perfect hosts.” Scruffy hospitality is a nod to embracing imperfection and authenticity. These involve letting go.

For this holiday season, especially if you’re stressed, I encourage you to incorporate some ‘scruffy’ into your life. It will look different for each person. Consider how beneficial scruffy hospitality could be for reducing your stress.

As a seasoned host, ‘scruffy’ isn’t a term I naturally associate with entertaining. I like to clean and prepare. Don’t get me started on my to-do lists. I enjoy the visual aspect of decorating the tables, arranging flowers, and creating colorfully plated dishes. Those aspects aren’t stressful for me. However, those and other aspects of entertaining might be stressful for you. And if it is, some of the suggestions below can help.

 

 

11 Ways to Reduce Holiday Stress by Embracing Scruffy Hospitality

  • Reframe Clean – Do a quick clean instead of a deep one. Or hire someone else to clean.

  • Organize LessDeclutter the dining room only, leaving all other areas in their ‘as is’ state.

  • Recruit Help – Ask guests to bring parts of the meal.

  • Minimize Decor – There is no need to go wild. A single plant, a small vase of flowers, a bowl of fruit, or an arrangement of gourds is a minimalist way to decorate a table. You can also leave things bare.

  • Be Present – Cook with your guests instead of preparing things in advance.

  • Try Self-Serve – Set up your food buffet-style rather than as a plated, sit-down meal.

  • Don’t Cook – Forget about cooking anything. Purchase the entire meal or a few dishes.

  • Do Less - Simplify your menu with fewer choices or prepare dishes requiring minimal ingredients.

  • Dress Down – Be comfortable and show up as you are. No fancy clothes are required.

  • Reduce Scope – Fewer guests can make the gathering more manageable. Dial down your invite list to reflect your ideal number of guests.

  • Simplify Gift Giving – Focus on clutter-less gifts for you and the recipients. Give meaningful time-centered gifts like movie tickets, museum passes, or personal care services.

 

Scruffy hospitality is a nod to embracing imperfection and authenticity.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

How I’m Incorporating Scruffy Hospitality This Season

One thing I decided to do differently this year is not to bake the apple and pumpkin pies. Instead, our daughter generously offered to make pies. While I’ve always baked, removing the pie-baking task frees up some time and reduces stress around coordinating kitchen usage with my husband. We share cooking for Thanksgiving and work around each other’s schedules and tasks. No pie baking this year means I’ll eliminate the stress of negotiating for counter, oven, and refrigerator space.

The other area where ‘scruffy’ applies is the number of guests. We love having a houseful of family and friends for the holidays. However, some guests have health issues or scheduling conflicts this year. While we’ll miss them greatly on Thanksgiving, fewer guests give me more time to talk with people. Managing the flow of the space is less stressful with fewer people, too.

 

Human-Considered Holidays

The holidays don’t have to be stressful. There are many ways to increase joy and minimize stress. How can you relax your approach to holiday hospitality? What will help you make it more joy-filled and less stressful? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

Do you want help decluttering, organizing, brainstorming, or planning? Do you need an accountability partner? I’m here for you. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward - A local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.


 
 
5 Courageous Coping Strategies When Life Feels Out of Control

There are times when life goes sideways. The unthinkable happens, and you feel you have no control over anything. Your mood is dark, and hope is barely accessible. Cognitively, you understand there are no guarantees in life and that chaos is present. Yet, how do you cope? What can you do when nothing makes sense, and things feel out of control?

I don’t pretend to have the answers or know what you’re experiencing. I’m navigating this challenging time, too. Yet, I have a few strategies that are helping me, which might be helpful to you.

Instead of focusing on the areas you have no control over, shift your attention. Identify and engage in what is nourishing and within your control.

 

 

5 Courageous Coping Strategies When Life Feels Out of Control

1. Supercharge Your Self-Care

Take care of yourself. During stressful times, you might ignore the basics. However, doing that makes you feel worse and less able to cope with challenges.

Recommit to self-care basics. Get enough sleep, hydrate, eat nutritiously, and move your body. Walking in nature has additional mood-boosting benefits.

Beyond essential self-care, consider getting a massage, manicure, or pedicure. Or how about taking a yoga, exercise, or meditation class?

Be kind to yourself and engage in intentional, mood-enhancing activities within your control.

Recommit to self-care basics.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

 2. Engage With Your Community

You might want to retreat when feeling out of sorts. However, I encourage you to do the opposite. Reach out to those who are also feeling ‘it.’ You’re not alone.

Your friends and family may be struggling, too. Connect with your loved ones. Pool your strengths while offering and receiving support.

 

3. Curate the Input

Scrolling social media, listening to the news, and fueling the fire may not be the healthiest choice. Cut yourself off (even if temporarily) when the external input you’re allowing adds to those out-of-control feelings.

Just as I encouraged you to eat nutritious foods to nourish your body, do something similar for your mind. Curate the input to minimize anxiety-producing thoughts and maximize ones with a more positive effect.

This could be a great time to read that new book or your favorite magazine from cover to cover. Or maybe you prefer to watch a comedy show or movie.

I’m not suggesting you ignore the outside world forever, but for this day, while building your resilience, choose to disengage with stress-inducing news. Control the input.

Identify and engage in what is nourishing and within your control.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

4. Make Something

There is a gift in making something from nothing. What kind of something? Maybe you like to bake, write blog posts or in journals, take photographs, write poetry, or knit scarves. Perhaps you want to paint, write music, do a craft project, or create fancy cocktails.

Take control of a joy-inducing physical activity and make something. Enjoy the process and the result.

I’ve already journaled and worked on this post. Guess what else I did? I baked (and ate) some Almond Butter Chocolate Chip cookies. Fortunately, these cookies are not only delicious but also nutritious. I just have to remember to eat them in moderation. Wish me luck.

 

 

5. Declutter Your Space

Physical disorganization and chaos in your environment can affect how you feel and function. The disarray adds to a feeling of lack of control. You don’t know where things are or have the mind space to focus.

There is mood-boosting power in decluttering and organizing. The act of doing, making a change, and then experiencing the benefits of that shift is palpable.

You can’t control everything, but you can improve your corner of the world (or desk).

 

 

Human Coping Skills

Remember, you are resilient, and you have people to lean on. To help navigate challenging times, exert control in tiny yet significant ways. This won’t change everything, but it will help to calm and ground you. What coping strategies do you use when life feels chaotic?

If you need help decluttering, organizing, planning, or grounding, I’m here for you. Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.