Our “Ask the Expert” interview series connects you with dynamic industry thought leaders. This year we’ve spoken with author Francine Jay about letting go, author Todd Henry about next steps, psychologist, Dr. Debbie Grove about change, and author Joshua Becker about fresh starts. For May, I’m excited to have with us organization expert and author, Erin Doland to share her insights about clutter.

Erin’s book, Unclutter Your Life in One Week, shares a plan for quickly clearing your clutter and simplifying your life. As someone that was challenged by clutter, Erin shares from the perspective of someone that gained new skills, cleared her clutter and became more organized. My gratitude goes to Erin for joining us. I know you’re going to appreciate her unique perspective about clutter. Before we begin, here’s more about her.

Erin Rooney Doland is Editor-in-Chief of Unclutterer.com, a website providing daily articles on home and office organization, and author of the book Unclutter Your Life in One Week. You can connect with Erin on Twitter, Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, website.

Linda Samuels:  As an organization consultant, author, blogger, and speaker, you specialize in inspiring others to live an uncluttered life. What suggestions do you have for those that feel overwhelmed by clutter?

Erin Rooney Doland:  Remember that being organized and living without clutter are skills, just like the skills involved in playing a sport. Sure, some people are naturally gifted, but being 6’7” doesn’t guarantee someone will play in the NBA. It takes practice to learn any skill and to maintain it. Just because life is chaotic now doesn’t mean it’s always going to be that way. With regular practice, you’ll eventually find order and you’ll discover the skills that work best with your personality and preferences.

Linda:  In your book, Unclutter Your Life in One Week, you define an unclutterer as “Someone who choses to get rid of the distractions that get in the way of a remarkable life.” What are your favorite strategies for identifying and uncluttering distractions?

Erin:  You need to define what a remarkable life is for YOU. What does it look like? How does it feel? There are many ways to discover your definition of a remarkable life – chart it out, draw it out, create a vision board, meditate on it, talk it out with a family or friend, write it down. Once you know where you want to go, it’s a lot easier to get there.

Linda:  Some of us tend to accumulate more than we release. What makes it so challenging to let go?

Erin:  There are as many reasons as to why we want to keep things, as there are items to keep. These multitude of reasons cross our minds whenever it comes time to part with something. We “just in case” and “should” ourselves into holding onto all our stuff. It’s a very natural human instinct that almost all of us possess. It’s not bad or good, it just is. Problems only arise when keeping things distract us from the life we desire.

Linda:  What is your most surprising discovery about clutter?

Erin:  I’m continually surprised by how an individual’s value of an object changes with time. One day, a pair of earrings can be your go-to piece of jewelry. You’re a little heartbroken if one earring goes missing from the pair. Two years later, the same pair of earrings is taking up space in your jewelry box and you wouldn’t even remember it was in there. The object hasn’t changed, but how you value it has. Changing perceptions is vital to the uncluttering process and how this value change comes about is fascinating to me. Ultimately, someone has to choose the life they desire over their stuff if they want to be uncluttered, but how they get there is different for everyone.

Linda:  What has been your biggest personal challenge around clutter?

Erin:  My challenges are constantly changing, but right now a lack of energy is my biggest challenge with clutter. I have an infant and a very active four year old. It has been five months since I’ve had a solid night’s sleep. What little energy I have is going toward the basic routines that have to be accomplished for our family to function. I see clutter coming back into our lives and I just keep reminding myself that when we all start sleeping better and our energy levels return, so will the order. Until then, I’m trying not to freak out about my crazy pile of filing and all the other distractions.

Erin, you’re in good company with other parents of young children and how sleep, or lack their of influences energy, functioning, and clutter levels. This circles back to your idea about living a remarkable life, which involves knowing your priorities. Your clarity is evident that sleep, basic routines, and raising the kids trump filing papers. Clutter has an ebb and flow. How we handle or reconcile those variations vary for each of us.

Please join Erin and me as we continue the conversation. Share your ideas about clutter, living a remarkable life, and discoveries. What are your thoughts?

Do you wish your kids were more organized? Do you get frustrated trying to help them? I was curious about how others taught and transferred organizing skills to their own children. So, I enlisted help from a wonderful group of colleagues (Stephanie Calahan, Leslie Josel, Helena Alkhas, Ellen Delap, Yota Schneider, Diana Quintana and Aby Garvey.) I asked them, “What organizing success strategy have you passed on to your children? How did you accomplish that?”  Their responses are motivating and inspiring. My gratitude goes to each of them for sharing their personal stories with us. If you want your children to become more organized, keep reading to discover some kid-tested organizing success tips that might work for you.

What organizing success strategy have you passed on to your children? How did you accomplish that? . . .

7 Kid-Tested Organizing Success Tips

1. Small Steps

“Ever since my son was small we have worked with him to understand how to take big projects and break them into simple doable steps. For example, cleaning his bathroom breaks down into gathering the supplies needed and then cleaning the mirror, counter, sink, tub/shower, toilet and floor. We did this by sitting with him and having him think through the steps and we'd fill in the blanks when he would get stuck. Now that he is twelve, we use the same strategy for his school and extra curricular activities. We found that by giving him the opportunity to think it through first, he is quite independent with most of his work and often gets it done ahead of schedule because he has thought through the variables.“

Stephanie LH Calahan– The Big Vision Catalyst, Business Strategist, Author and Producer

2. Prompts

“The organizing success strategy that I’ve taught my children is to use external prompts to remind them of tasks or responsibilities they need to get done. So if they need to do homework, call a friend, walk the dog, put dinner in the oven, etc. They’ve been taught to set timers, phones, alarms, or use visual and written prompts. I started teaching them this strategy by asking them the question, “How are you going to remember to…” and having them work out the strategy that would best fit the task. It’s not enough to ask them to do something but ask them how they are going to remember or prompt themselves to do it.”

Leslie Josel – ADHD Specialist & Author

3. Routines

“I am a believer in having routines to structure our time, know what comes next and to be more productive. We have a clear routine that "guides" us through the day and the kids grew up with that. From the moment they wake up, through going to school and back, all the way to going to bed at night we follow a "self-care/school" checklist that helps them cross the dots of daily life and lets them know when is work time, when is play time. This also teaches them to be independent and to self-guide. As a parent it is my hope that this will stay with them and help them when they have to leave and be on their own.”

Helena Alkhas– Professional Organizer & Virtual Assistant

4. Practice

“My kids are amazing, organized parents! They are list makers with a family calendar in their kitchens. They organize not only their closets, but also their children’s clothes.  Each has a file cabinet with easy access, simple filing. How did this happen?  It’s all about talking the talk and walking the walk.  Living in a home with organized parents created the expectation that organizing is an important life skill.  We focused on strengths, talked about organizing, and down played perfectionism.  They practiced as teens and young adults.  Now as parents of young children they have created organizing solutions in their own homes.”

Ellen Delap, CPO®  – Professional Organizer, Productivity Consultant & Family Manager Coach

5. Preparation

“August is traditionally Back to School month and there's tremendous marketing pressure to get out there and buy. The girls, high school juniors, know that I'm not going Back to School shopping unless they've inventoried their closets and desks, assessed their needs and wants, and de-cluttered their space.

Piles of paper, old homework and folders head to the recycling bin, used up school supplies are thrown away, and clothes they've outgrown and are usable head to the donation pile. Next, they create a prioritized list of their needs and wants. I assure them that they'll always get what they need and occasionally what they want. What they’ve learned is that, in order to make room for the new, we simply have to let go of the old and outdated!"

Yota Schneider, Seasons of Change Certified Master Coach – Life Transitions Coach, Workshops & Retreat Facilitator, Blogger, & Mindfulness Meditation Practitioner

6. Completion

“There is a saying that goes like this: Don’t put it down, put it away. I used this saying over and over with my two boys. When they were very young I asked them to put something away when they were finished with it. This translated to games they were playing with when they were very young. As they grew older this saying could also be applied to things like clothes (in a laundry basket or hung up), dishes in the dishwasher, homework in the correct binder, and taking things they belonged to them back to their rooms.”

Diane N. Quintana, CPO®, CPO-CD®– Professional Organizer & Author

7. Letting Go

“By organizing and decluttering with my kids since they were very young, I've taught them how to let go of things they no longer use or love. For one of my kids, letting go didn't come easy. It required a lot of patience and a long-term focus on my part, as we spent hours going through her stuffed animals, clothing, toys, and books. I always let my kids make the decisions, and never let go of anything behind their backs. In the process, I've taught them that letting go is a natural part of life and maintained their trust.”

Aby Garvey – Professional Organizer, Author, & Online Class Instructor

I love this collection of strategies from my colleagues! As a parent with two daughters in college and beyond, I have spent a lot of time teaching them organizing skills. The investment was worthwhile. I marvel at how they’ve integrated those skills regularly and naturally into their lives. Here are some more articles about transferring organizing skills to our children:

Failing Your Way to Success by Linda Samuels

Moms’ “To Do” Lists by Linda Samuels

Cutting the Organizing Umbilical Cord by Leslie Josel

11 Tips to Conquer Your Child’s Clutter by Aby Garvey

Which organizing success tips resonate with you? Do you have additional ones to share? Come join the conversation.

Do you prefer to do everything yourself? Do you get overwhelmed because you do too much? I’ve been guilty of not asking for help because it seems like it’s faster, easier, or less complicated if I just do it myself. I’ve learned that this isn’t always beneficial. If you find it difficult to enlist help, the pros and cons lists might help you shift your perspective.

Enlisting Help:  The “Pros”

• Benefit by another person’s expertise, wisdom, and creativity
• Focus on using the best of self by delegating tasks that are less interesting
• More time to spend on what’s most important
• Learn new skills
• Move past being stuck and overwhelmed
• Accomplish more because of delegating and accountability

Enlisting Help: The “Cons”

• Have to clarify and explain needs 
• Help might not be the right fit (person or profession) 
• Work might not get done exactly as you would do it 
• Have to let go of some control 
• Need to manage, set boundaries, and expectations 
• Might feel embarrassed to ask for help 

Learning how to ask for help, knowing when you need it, and finding the right type of help can be tremendously useful skills to hone. All of the “cons” listed have a positive side. For example, enlisting help can be disappointing and ineffectual if it’s not the right fit. Let’s say you are looking to hire a professional organizer to help organize your home office. It’s worth getting referrals from friends or resources like NAPO or ICD. Contact more than one professional so that you can select the one best suits your personality, budget, and needs. Doing research will give you a better chance of finding that right fit.

Think about areas you are struggling with. Would you benefit by enlisting help from a family member, friend, or professional that you trust? What’s your next step? Come join the conversation and share a pro, con, or next step.