Carl and Wilma Machover

Small and large changes happen internally and externally all the time. Sometimes we are oblivious and other times we’re acutely aware of the shifts. Sometimes we appreciate and embrace change, while other times we resent or fear it.

As I’m in an “acutely aware” period, I’m feeling particularly grateful for a slight break tonight from a tumultuous period of change. Both of my parents have been experiencing health and life challenges that deeply affect me. I have been living these changes and varied emergencies with them for months, navigating uncharted territory, and simultaneously trying to find balance and normalcy.

I sit here this evening with my hot cup of tea and feet resting comfortably on my purple velvet footstool, finding joy in writing and sipping. This familiar activity that I love grounds me. It’s a respite from the swirl of change and concern that has actively pursued me these many days.

This intensity of change has reaffirmed my belief in the importance of self-care. Getting enough sleep, staying hydrated, eating regularly and making time for fun, friends, family and self are essential.

When any of us have challenges be it health, financial, relationships or careers, it’s so easy to only focus on that. But none of us are just our challenges. We have many strengths and passions. Drawing on these, especially when life is throwing the curve balls, can make all the difference for navigating change.

What changes are you noticing? Which strengths are available to you?

No matter how convincing my list of 5 Compelling Reasons to Change is, I know that it’s not my reasons that matter. The five I’m sharing with you are just a few in a long line of possible motivations for change.

I’d love to find out what motivates you to make changes in your life. With your help, perhaps we can turn this list into 100+ Compelling Reasons to Change.

5 Compelling Reasons to Change

1. Pain

As Anaïs Ninsaid, “There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Consider how much energy it takes to continue with the familiar. Is the pain and frustration you’re experiencing worth not changing?

2. Fear

We are all scared of something whether it’s spiders or public speaking or embracing change. Just because we’re afraid, it doesn’t mean that we can’t overcome our fears. By doing so we can experience tremendous growth, elation and increased self-confidence.

3. Desire

Motivation doesn’t have to be negative. The drivers can stem from deep yearning and passion. Change can occur when the desire for a specific result or goal is so vivid and intense that it’s almost impossible to hold yourself back from taking action. That passion can propel us forward with intensity. Allow it to be your guide.

4. Love

People don’t change until they’re ready. Sometimes, though, our motivations can come from the desire to change for someone we love. When our habits work for us, but not so well for the special people in our lives, this creates a lot of tension. Changing in order to make our relationships stronger, less stressful and more loving is another big motivator for change.

5. Opportunity

Elsye Sommer said, “Sometimes opportunity knocks like a loud windburst; more often it arrives like a burglar and disappears before you realize it was there.” Life is not dull. On a daily basis, there are many decisions to make and possibilities to consider. These options can be enticing enough to lead you towards change. With an open attitude, opportunity can be the motivator.

Do any of these ideas resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts about reasons to change. Participate in the conversation.

This month I’ve focused on taking action towards the changes I seek. Many of you have done the same. As we’re half way through the month, this is a good point to stop and give ourselves a Change Check-up. A great question that ADHD coach, Cameron Gott asks is, “Where are we now?”

Locating where you are in the change process is important. Are you struggling to match actions with the changes you want? Or, are you able to make new choices each day to facilitate the changes that you desire? Perhaps you are experiencing a mix of struggles and successes. Sometimes we want habits or situations to alter, but we find it challenging to take the action steps, however small, to bring about those changes.

In the Readiness for Change fact sheet I created for the Institute for Challenging Disorganization, I wrote about the five phases of change: Initial Rumblings, Identifying Possibilities, Reaching Out, Beyond Talking and Life Jolts. These stages aren’t necessarily linear. We shift back and forth between the phases and can even straddle two simultaneously. For a detailed description, the ICD fact sheet is available as a free download.

Sometimes we need to pause and reassess where we are and how we’re doing. For example, I spent December and January setting goals and determining which changes I wanted to make for the coming year. When February arrived, I began setting some of those goals in motion by taking baby steps forward. Now I’m evaluating how I’m doing. Many of the changes I seek are in the works. Some have shorter time frames to accomplish, while others might take a full year or longer.

Each of us face challenges. For me, the most difficult ones seem to be integrating exercise into my schedule and cutting down on the sweets. Experience tells me that when I exercise more and eat fewer sweets, I feel healthier and stronger. As it turns out, getting out for that brisk walk or saying “no” to the very tempting cupcake or bar of chocolate is apparently not so easy.

I know that it’s difficult to make multiple changes at once. I haven’t given up on my fitness and health goals. They just may need to be postponed while I work on the other areas I’ve chosen to focus on.

Make time for your Change Check-up. Where are you now? Are you experiencing challenges or celebrating successes? I’d love to hear from you.

During a recent winter storm, my daughter called out to me from her room to see something. When I walked in, she had a big smile on her face and was pointing to beautiful icicles that had formed on the rhododendron outside her window.  They glistened in the light with an aura of wonder. We stopped to enjoy nature’s display.

I kept thinking about the image of the icicles. They were frozen and still. Sometimes we feel that way. We get stuck where we are. We aren’t sure which direction to move. We might even be afraid of change. So we wait. We stop. We freeze.

Then something happens. A light bulb goes off. We feel a little bit brave. We get uncomfortable just waiting. We feel inspired. We make the choice to take a tiny step forward. We’re like the icicle that slowly melts as the sun shines on us. First, there’s one drip, then another. Before you know it, the icicle is gone and the branch is free to sway in the breeze. We are unencumbered by fear, indecision and procrastination. We are not just a bystander of change; we are actually seeking out and directing it.

Last month I took time to think about fresh starts and what shape I wanted the New Year to take. I thought about and prioritized my goals. I slowly began putting ideas into action. This month, I’m focused on pursuing the changes that I seek.

The winter is in full force with its many icicles and ever growing mounds of snow. Even so, I feel more like those melted droplets of water that changed from a state of stillness and contemplation to action.

What changes are you in the midst of right now?