As far as arrival time goes, I am usually on time or a little early. I’m also human, so of course there are times when I’m late. One recent rainy spring evening, I found myself in a unique time situation. I actually arrived to my destination an entire hour early. Since I expected to arrive just as the program began, I didn’t have any reading material or projects with me.

There I was alone in an empty auditorium with my cup of earl grey tea. I couldn’t believe that I had a whole hour to just sit and do nothing. So, I sipped, breathed deeply and smiled at this wonderful, unexpected gift. I felt light-hearted and giddy by the idea that there was nothing special for me to do except wait. This was unusual.

After relaxing a while, I pulled out some blank index cards to write about this experience. People began arriving. Just like being at an airport, I enjoyed people watching. Some entered the room quietly, while others came in with a big display. The decibel level in the once quiet room quickly began rising, along with the energy level. There I sat, still smiling, writing and enjoying my time gift.

I noticed that most people were busy doing something like conversing with friends, checking email, texting, talking on their cell phones, or switching their seat to a more desirable location. The room filled with busyness. Everyone around me was active. In fact, I too was no longer just sitting. I was writing.

Then my friends began arriving, so I quickly finished my thoughts, put away my pen, and enjoyed having some face to face conversation before the event began.

The program was a comedy competition that my younger daughter participated in. Teens from all over the county competed in a friendly night of comedy improv. One of the improvs about corn threw me into a fit of almost unstoppable laughter, complete with tears streaming down my face. I love to laugh with complete abandon and these kids provided me with plenty of cause to let loose. It was a great evening between the free time and the abundance of laughter!

What is it about us moms and our super-long, seemingly impossible “to-do” lists? Is it because we’re moms – and we want to have it all and can’t say no - that our lists are long and overflowing? Does the endlessness of your “to do” lists cause you to procrastinate or freeze into inactivity? Or do you accept the ongoing challenge of crossing items off as quickly as you’re adding new ones on? However you approach your lists, I’m guessing that at some point, you have experienced some stress and get overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of what you want and need to accomplish every day.

As a mom of two young ladies, soon to be 18 and 20 years old, I am acutely aware of how these lists’ entries have changed over time. When the girls were babies, the “to do” items were things like “buy diapers, make appointment with pediatrician, research Mommy & Me classes, and prep clothes for work.” As they became toddlers, the “to-dos” included “buy pull-ups, arrange playdates, research pre-schools, and prep clothes for work.” When they entered elementary school, the lists had “buy Princess underpants, prepare lunch boxes, fill out school forms, and prep clothes for work. “

Interestingly, as my girls grew, they followed by example and began making their own lists. Is there a gene for list-making? Some of the items that I had always taken care of, they started doing instead.  As they learned to take responsibility for more things, I simultaneously learned how to delegate. I could comfortably ask them, “Please add this to your list.”

It’s fascinating how my daughters developed their own list-making styles. Cassie, our youngest, is a fan of using lined post-it pads with bulleted items listed sequentially. Allison likes to make her lists in small journals using different pages for specific categories. Her titles vary from “Places I’d Like to Visit,”  “Books I Want to Read,” “Ideas That are Interesting,” or “Things To Do Today.”

For me, I use a variety of list-making tricks. I use sticky notes for the quick, singular thought reminders. I keep a Master list of long-term “get to them one-day” items. I use a daily reminder in my electronic calendar for things that need to be accomplished on a specific day. I use index cards with bulleted lists for weekly reminders. Then there’s the satisfying part of picking up my red marker to cross the items off as they are completed.

These days my “to do” lists have fewer kid-related items on them. There are no more diapers to buy. No more lunchboxes to pack. Instead, those items are replaced with things like “write new mom blog, prepare for the radio interview, and prep coaching sessions.”  Even though my girls are very independent, I still have a few remaining things to handle for them. They are: “review college forms, pick-up prom shoes, and order mini cupcakes for graduation.”

Whether you are a working mom at the “buy diapers” stage or at the “buy extra-long sheets for dorm” stage, just know we’ll always have items popping on and off our lists. Those items tell a story of both our children’s growth and ours. So, the next time you feel overwhelmed with all the things you have on your list, stop, and appreciate having them to do. Before you know it, your children will be grown and off making their own lists.

What types of lists do you make? What works well for you? Share your tips.

The other day I was talking with my brother, Tod. He described to me the 25^th anniversary event he is planning for MIT’s Media Lab. For the celebration, they are creating a 25-hour day full of programs. Aside from this being a clever concept to build an event around, it made me smile at the thought of us actually being able to randomly add hours to the 24-hour day all of us have.

I began thinking about why we wish we could add more hours to our day. Two ideas came to mind. We either feel like we have too little time (as in 24 hours just isn’t enough to accomplish what we want) or we have too much to do. Either way you view it, on most days, many of us feel like we could have or should have done more in the time we had to manage. Thoughts like, “If only I hadn’t wasted so much time surfing the internet,” or “If only I had one more hour to finish this project,” or “If only I didn’t feel so completely overwhelmed with everything I’ve said ‘yes’ to.”

So being that we don’t have the ability to add more hours to our day, what can we do? Even though our commitments vary, it’s essential that we discover our personal balance between work, fun and rest. The mix will vary based on what is on your plate and feels most comfortable for you. But if you only work without any time to relax or have fun, you will quickly become overwhelmed.

The word “overwhelm” is one I hear most often from clients, friends and family. Frankly, while I write and think a lot about life balance, there are times when I too feel overloaded with all the things I want to accomplish or have committed to doing. I know that when I’m feeling this way, it becomes essential to return to one of my basics, which is reconnecting with nature. With spring in full bloom, lately I’ve spent more time by the rivers- walking, sitting, eating, and just being. There is something restorative about water. My mind quiets enough to simply focus on the scenery before me. The “must dos” and “should dos” take a back seat while nature works it magic, bringing me to a calmer, clearer place.

There’s nothing wrong with expecting a lot of yourself. But especially if you do expect a lot, it’s crucial that you also figure out how to rejuvenate yourself. So, whether it’s taking a walk somewhere green, slowly sipping a large iced tea, or doing nothing at all, it’s well worth your time to make time for you to stop, relax and restore.

Life’s emergencies can cut through the mind clutter and help you refocus on what is important. This spring has been particularly full with long, overflowing lists of things to do, events to attend or plan, projects to wrap up, people to care for, new ventures to start and transitions to be made. These extras were mixed with the normal everyday things like doing laundry, paying bills, working and sleeping. Let’s face it. There are only so many hours in the day. There are days when you just crave more hours.

For me, when I am overloaded in this way, it’s not so much my physical environment that gets cluttered, but it’s my mind that gets full and jumbled. In the same way that your overflowing closet or desk piled with papers might cause stress, lately for me it’s the “to do” clutter in my head that has been challenging. I’ve tried a variety of techniques to declutter my mind. They’ve included making mini lists with easy items such as “get dressed” and “go to bank.”  I’ve used my family and friends as sounding boards to sort the thoughts out loud. I’ve delegated certain things to others, when possible. Yet, even with doing these things, my mind stayed cluttered. It feels like no matter how much I do, it will never be enough. The word overwhelmed describes this well.

And then life threw me a curve ball. My dad ended up in the hospital. Everything just stopped. All of a sudden, those million items took a back seat to being there for my mom and dad. It’s not that the “list” disappeared, but it helped me to prioritize what was most important. My family comes first. I’ve always known this, but the emergency helped to quiet all those other things that have been vying for my attention.

After an intense 24 hours, I went back home to see my husband and daughters. We packed-up some sandwiches and ate by the river. We then walked along the beautiful path, enjoying the sun, the scenery and each other’s company. This was followed by a trip to our local ice cream shop, The Blue Pig. I felt completely renewed and recharged by being outside and with my family.

Eventually, I got ready for bed and picked up a book I recently purchased, Anna Quindlen’s Being Perfect, which had been on my “Books to Read List” for quite a while. It’s a small, intimate book. While I was too tired to read all of it last night, I read enough to know that it was probably the best book I could have picked up at that moment. The words jumped off the page in the loudest, clearest way saying, “Give up being perfect! Be kinder to yourself and just let yourself be.” In my book, The Other Side of Organized, the subtitle is Finding Balance Between Chaos and Perfection. And so it goes. We only hear the message when we’re ready to hear it.

At one point in the emergency room, my dad apologized to me for “screwing up my day.” I let him know that while I wished he wasn’t in the hospital, his emergency had sorted out my day. Then I thanked him for helping me to clear all that clutter in my head. There’s nothing like being in the emergency room to refocus you on what is most important- being there for the people you love, the blessings in your life and letting go of perfection. Being human is good enough.