Happy 2021! We made it. Did you feel a giant sigh of relief as you said good-bye to 2020 and welcomed the New Year? Was your holiday season different because of the pandemic? It was much quieter for us. We had virtual instead of in-person gatherings and visits with our family and friends. While virtual wasn’t the same as being shoulder-to-shoulder, it felt special and comforting to find other ways to be together. During many of our conversations, we reflected on the past year and shared our hopes for the future.

January is an excellent month to reflect and reset. We get that added motivation boost from the “fresh start effect,” which is even more potent at the beginning of a New Year. One technique that can enhance your fresh start is the Three Things Reflections, which I started using last year. With a small time investment of 20-30 minutes, this series of questions will guide you to think about the past year as you set intentions for the new one. It’s hard to have clarity in the present unless we make time to honor and let go of the past. 

Three Things Reflections

The Three Things Reflections includes six pairs of questions. Each group has a prompt about the past year and a coordinating one for the current year. You can answer all sets, only those that resonate with you or add other thought-provoking questions. The exercise can be a private or shared experience. After completing the Reflections last year, I added two bonus questions. They helped me to assimilate the past and consider the future in a fuller, more vibrant way.

1a. What were three things you learned this past year?

1b. What are three things you want to learn in 2021?

2a. What are three memorable moments from this past year?

2b. What three things are you looking forward to in 2021?

3a. What were three challenges you experienced this past year?

3b. What are three strengths you used with those challenges that you will bring to 2021?

4a. What are three places you enjoyed being last year?

4b. What are three places you’re looking forward to going to in 2021?

5a. What three words describe this past year?

5b. What three words do you hope will describe 2021?

6a. What are three things you said “yes” to this past year?

6b. What are three things you hope to have the opportunity to say “yes” to in 2021?

Bonus Questions

7a. Is there anything about the past year that is not reflected in these questions that you want to remember?

7b. Is there anything about the current year that is not reflected in these questions that you want to add?

“It’s hard to have clarity in the present unless we make time to honor and let go of the past.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Like most 2020 experiences, New Year’s Eve was atypical. Last year, we had a small group of friends over for a hands-on, make your own taco New Year’s Eve party. This year we invited our friends to a virtual New Year’s Eve cocktail party. I delivered party bags to them in advance of the event. In addition to items like blowers, napkins, and treats, I included the Three Things Reflection. Several of our friends enjoyed answering the questions by themselves or with their partners. On New Year’s Day, my husband and I wrote down our responses and shared one pair at a time. As tough a year as 2020 was, we identified many positive things we were grateful for and wonderful things to anticipate in 2021. 

We each have unique ways of setting goals and intentions. I hope you’ll find the Three Things Reflections a valuable way to enhance your fresh start. Do you have another approach that you use? What are you looking forward to this year? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation!

After waking from a long, deep, dream-packed sleep, I thought about balance and the extremes we experience in life. We can feel calm and centered at one point. Those times are often preceded by chaos and stress. Feeling balanced is fluid and a continually shifting dynamic. The pandemic affected many of our experiences around balance. Maybe you’ve also noticed a shift in how you balance extremes.

In pre-pandemic days, the holiday season was filled with parties, gatherings, and engaging in “too much” type behaviors. Overdoing it disrupts our habits and sense of balance. This year, however, there will be fewer parties, if any. It will be easier not to overschedule and overdo. So our typical holiday stress, chaos, and lack of balance could be less this year.

“Feeling balanced is fluid and a continually shifting dynamic.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Of course, you might be experiencing anxiety or sadness from not having the usual festivities or gatherings with family and friends. I love the holiday season and extra time to socialize with our loved ones. I am going to miss the togetherness this year.

Finding Balance Through reimagined Traditions

One of the annual traditions I look forward to is the winter solstice party at our friends’ house. They have live music, dancing, great company, and food. But what I love most is the giant bonfire they build in their woods. In the dark of the night, we climb the hill, light the fire, and form a circle around it as we mark another year. Then each person tosses their candle into the fire, as they let go of the past and set an intention for the coming year. The ritual is grounding like a giant exhalation or balance reset.

Take a pause and enjoy the video below of the bonfire from several years ago.

I felt sad but resigned, knowing our friends wouldn’t have the party this year because of the pandemic. But just the other day, we received an email invitation for their virtual solstice party. So while we won’t physically stand around the fire with them, feeling the warmth and camaraderie, we will be together in a different way. And right then, I sensed it. That one email lifted my spirits with joyous anticipation. It tipped my holiday season balance in a promising direction.

Whether it is holiday time or not, our balance is continuously changing. It’s useful to be aware and notice where you are and what you need. Are you overdoing it? Do you crave quiet? Are you reimagining traditions? Or, are things like Goldilocks says, “Just right?” What do you need to infuse more balance in your life?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.