Posts tagged husband
How to Easily Reduce Holiday Stress by Enjoying Scruffy Hospitality

Do you feel more stressed during the holiday season? What is the source? Holiday-related stress might revolve around travel planning, gift-giving, card-writing, decorating, over-committing, or entertaining.

As someone who enjoys and has hosted many gatherings, I continually work on reducing stress. Experience helps. The more I do something, the easier and less stressful it becomes, and the better I am at planning and navigating surprises. However, a more significant aspect is mindset. If I keep telling myself how stressed I am, what happens? I reinforce that feeling.

 

What is Scruffy Hospitality?

Recently, I heard about “scruffy hospitality,” which is a more relaxed approach to entertaining. It’s a practice and also a mindset. The idea is to prioritize connection and conversation over obsession with creating picture-perfect environments and Instagram-worthy meals. The concept includes having people over without cleaning up first and approaching food more simply. Instead of making elaborate dishes, ‘scruffy’ entertaining loves potlucks, leftovers, and takeout.

While “scruffy hospitality” was coined a decade ago by Jack King, an Anglican priest from Tennessee, it has received more attention in the last few years. It rejects unrealistic social media standards that create pressure on us to be “perfect hosts.” Scruffy hospitality is a nod to embracing imperfection and authenticity. These involve letting go.

For this holiday season, especially if you’re stressed, I encourage you to incorporate some ‘scruffy’ into your life. It will look different for each person. Consider how beneficial scruffy hospitality could be for reducing your stress.

As a seasoned host, ‘scruffy’ isn’t a term I naturally associate with entertaining. I like to clean and prepare. Don’t get me started on my to-do lists. I enjoy the visual aspect of decorating the tables, arranging flowers, and creating colorfully plated dishes. Those aspects aren’t stressful for me. However, those and other aspects of entertaining might be stressful for you. And if it is, some of the suggestions below can help.

 

 

11 Ways to Reduce Holiday Stress by Embracing Scruffy Hospitality

  • Reframe Clean – Do a quick clean instead of a deep one. Or hire someone else to clean.

  • Organize LessDeclutter the dining room only, leaving all other areas in their ‘as is’ state.

  • Recruit Help – Ask guests to bring parts of the meal.

  • Minimize Decor – There is no need to go wild. A single plant, a small vase of flowers, a bowl of fruit, or an arrangement of gourds is a minimalist way to decorate a table. You can also leave things bare.

  • Be Present – Cook with your guests instead of preparing things in advance.

  • Try Self-Serve – Set up your food buffet-style rather than as a plated, sit-down meal.

  • Don’t Cook – Forget about cooking anything. Purchase the entire meal or a few dishes.

  • Do Less - Simplify your menu with fewer choices or prepare dishes requiring minimal ingredients.

  • Dress Down – Be comfortable and show up as you are. No fancy clothes are required.

  • Reduce Scope – Fewer guests can make the gathering more manageable. Dial down your invite list to reflect your ideal number of guests.

  • Simplify Gift Giving – Focus on clutter-less gifts for you and the recipients. Give meaningful time-centered gifts like movie tickets, museum passes, or personal care services.

 

Scruffy hospitality is a nod to embracing imperfection and authenticity.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

How I’m Incorporating Scruffy Hospitality This Season

One thing I decided to do differently this year is not to bake the apple and pumpkin pies. Instead, our daughter generously offered to make pies. While I’ve always baked, removing the pie-baking task frees up some time and reduces stress around coordinating kitchen usage with my husband. We share cooking for Thanksgiving and work around each other’s schedules and tasks. No pie baking this year means I’ll eliminate the stress of negotiating for counter, oven, and refrigerator space.

The other area where ‘scruffy’ applies is the number of guests. We love having a houseful of family and friends for the holidays. However, some guests have health issues or scheduling conflicts this year. While we’ll miss them greatly on Thanksgiving, fewer guests give me more time to talk with people. Managing the flow of the space is less stressful with fewer people, too.

 

Human-Considered Holidays

The holidays don’t have to be stressful. There are many ways to increase joy and minimize stress. How can you relax your approach to holiday hospitality? What will help you make it more joy-filled and less stressful? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

Do you want help decluttering, organizing, brainstorming, or planning? Do you need an accountability partner? I’m here for you. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward - A local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.


 
 
How to Embrace Possibilities and Create More Ease and Joy in Your Life

Inspiration abounds. The fall season in the northeast profoundly influences my thoughts about possibilities. Seeing the bold color shift to saturated yellows, oranges, and reds encourages me to seek change.

Last week, I wrote about my guest bedroom makeover. I considered what was possible, turned those ideas into reality, and was motivated to make more changes.

I made additional unplanned tweaks and changes that were outgrowths influenced by the bedroom project. When you disrupt an area, physical space, and objects are moved. This spatial churning also affects thoughts. Undoing what was in one room opened my mind to seeing and experimenting in other areas.

Sometimes, you feel set and don’t have the need or desire to change anything. Those times can last for brief periods, months, or years. At a point, though, something will interrupt that state. You are ready to try something different, reorganize systems, or make significant life shifts.

Possibilities infiltrate your thoughts. When possibilities are paired with action, change occurs.

 


 

3 Unexpected Outcomes from Possibility Thinking

1. Discover Giddy, Joyful Ease

I’ll admit this openly: I love decorative pillows. They’re textural and colorful and instantly change the look of a room. Typically, I have no less than five pillows adorning the sofa or beds.

As you might imagine, keeping the pillows fluffed and arranged can be a pain. Plus, you need extra time to undo and make the beds—pillows off, pillows on. However, I was happy to do the pillow maintenance dance because I loved how they looked and felt. I was willing until recently.

When I transformed the guest bedroom, I rethought the decorative pillow arrangement on that bed. That encouraged me to reconsider the pillow situation in our bedroom. I’m almost embarrassed to say, but we had ten pillows, only two of which we used for sleep. As I write this, I’m laughing out loud. I never counted them up before. Ten pillows are ridiculous.

My supportive husband has always accepted my pillow obsession but recently started questioning their necessity. Between his input and my desire to reimagine other areas of our home, I felt emboldened to change things.

Our bed now has only four sleep pillows and one decorative pillow. I feel giddy, even joyful, when I undo the bed at night or make it in the morning. It’s so easy that it almost feels wrong. I love it!

It took a change in one room to open my mind to possibilities in other areas. The wheels continue to turn.

  

When you release what is unnecessary, you clear the path for possibilities.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

2. Create Organization and Accessibility

One of the most fabulous products I discovered during the bedroom renovation was the Elfa® drawer dividers. We redid the guest bedroom closet with an Elfa® system from The Container Store. The designer suggested using the drawer dividers. I loved them so much that I purchased more for other areas where I have Elfa® drawers.

I showcased them in the tea bag overflow drawer a few weeks ago. Since then, I decided to reorganize the gift wrap supply drawers using the dividers. Instead of the gift bags, tags, ribbons, and other supplies moving around each time I opened a drawer, the dividers keep items better organized and securely in place.

Since the drawer organization upgrade, I’ve wrapped a few gifts. It was so easy and fun! The supplies are more visible, accessible, and visually pleasing.

Enjoy this fun video, which demonstrates how easy the drawer dividers are to install.

 

3. Right-Size Your Stuff

I often discuss how letting go of things that have overstayed their welcome makes space for more of what you want in your life. Clutter or extra stuff you never use takes up physical and emotional space. When you release what is unnecessary, you clear the path for possibilities.

When we emptied the guest bedroom, it gave me pause to assess the removed items and make decisions about their future. I did ‘the edit’ and engaged in various questions to help me evaluate what to keep or let go. I asked letting go questions, including:

  • Does this fit or belong in the newly reimagined space?

  • Will I use it?

  • Do I still like it?

  • Could it go somewhere else?

  • Is it time to let it go?

  • Has it served its purpose and is no longer necessary?

I made decisions. Cardboard storage boxes were recycled and replaced with new containers. Some furniture, art, home goods, boxes, and decorative pillows (yes, those!) will be sold or donated.

Currently, I still have a pile of items waiting to be gone. Getting them out requires my time and attention. Using Facebook Marketplace, GreenDrop, or the Buy Nothing Group, things will exit. I am confident in my decisions and ready to release things.

This process began with thinking about possibilities in one space and resulted in letting go of things that are no longer needed. It feels good and will feel even better when the pile is gone.

 

What Possibilities Are Ahead?

What no longer works for you? What becomes possible with a slight tweak? What possibility will inspire more organization and ease into your life? How can letting go create a path for new opportunities? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Are you ready to move forward, get organized, and live with more ease? If so, I’m here to help. Please email me at linda@ohsorganized.com or call 914-271-5673. Turning possibilities into reality is achievable, especially with support.

 
 
When Facing Something Difficult, Do You Procrastinate or Ask for Help?

What is your tendency when you encounter something challenging? Your temperament or the circumstance will elicit different responses.

Challenges are opportunities. However, they can either motivate you to take action or cause you to be overwhelmed and paralyzed.

One of the things I admire about my virtual organizing clients is their willingness to seek help. They recognize that some challenges can be resolved quickly when they get the needed support. They usually know what result they want but need help figuring out the plan and steps. Or they may know what to do but want accountability and support while taking action.

 

When to Seek Help

When I have a challenge, I tend to go it alone first. I prefer to fix it myself, so I don’t have to bother anyone. But here’s the thing: I recognize that having agency and being able to ‘fix’ things is valuable. It’s as essential to know when to get support.

Enlist help to:

  • Bounce ideas off of someone

  • Make a plan

  • Rely on someone else’s expertise or experience

  • Delegate

  • Do things you don’t want to do

  • Have accountability

  • Get support when you are stuck

You don’t have to do everything yourself. Build your team, your go-to people, who can help you navigate the challenges you face and the goals you seek.

You don’t have to do everything yourself.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Grateful for Help

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind. They’ve included wonderful vacation time and celebrations with family, mixed with many things going sideways. Our home needed help with a water filter replacement project, a new chimney liner, a replacement water pressure valve, a damaged driveway by one of our vendors, and a leaky roof. Oh. The joys of home ownership!

My husband, Steve, and I tagged-teamed the challenges. Steve is handy but time-poor. He handled some of these things by doing the work himself or getting help from a vendor. I assisted Steve with one of the projects (the water filter replacement) and hired vendors to get the other projects done.

Identifying the tasks we could do ourselves, the ones that needed to be done quickly, and those that required an outside vendor was vital.

  

Project Sprawl

Have you ever noticed how most projects are never as simple as you think? For example, the water filter we’ve used for years stopped selling replacement filters. This should have been a simple purchase and filter replacement, but it turned into a project.

Steve researched replacement options, ordered a new unit, and was ready to install it. Unfortunately, the box didn't include all the connection pieces he needed. After several trips to Home Depot, he was prepared for installation. When I saw the old unit removed from under the kitchen sink, I wanted to replace the liner paper. That involved removing the slide-out garbage can, cleaning the area, and cutting the new liner.

It didn’t stop there. We also decided to repaint under the sink to cover up some rust stains. As I write this, the paint is drying, and everything will soon be back in place.

  

No Need to Struggle Alone

My point is that getting help is a good thing. Don’t struggle alone. If you can do the thing yourself, great! But if you’re procrastinating, stuck, and overwhelmed, reach out for help.

What area of your life needs support? What have you recently asked for help with? How did that go? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

I'm ready if you need help getting unstuck, making a plan, decluttering, or organizing. Please email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or schedule a Discovery Call. Moving forward is possible, especially with support.

 
 
How Is Chocolate Helpful with Being Motivated to Get Organized?

Combining chocolate, motivation, and organizing into one concept might seem like a giant leap. Hang in there. I will share how this connection came to be and how it can help you get motivated to accomplish your goals. The idea began with several disconnected thoughts:

I realize that not everyone loves chocolate, lacks motivation, or wants to get organized. However, the motivation concept I will share applies to many situations.


Where Did My Motivation Concept Come From?

One of the gifts I gave my husband, Steve, for our anniversary was a ‘choose your date night’ certificate. Truthfully, it was meant to be more of a daytime date, but you get the idea. I gave him a list of ten possible options to choose from. He could pick one or combine a few into a single adventure.

One of the choices on the list is visiting The Chocolate Room in Brooklyn, New York. Someone described it as a “playground for grown-up chocoholics.” Did I mention how much Steve and I love chocolate?

While reviewing the date options, Steve looked at all the websites. He found this amazing video on The Chocolate Room site, which you can watch below.

Warning: This might put you over the edge if you love chocolate.

 

 

How Did The Chocolate Room Video Make You Feel?

I don’t know about you, but after watching the video, I wanted to eat chocolate immediately. Some drool might have been involved, too. In fact, not only did I want to eat chocolate, but Steve and I were ready to hop in the car right then and drive an hour and a half to The Chocolate Room.

The way they described their chocolate experience was so compelling that my motivation to go there and taste everything on their menu was through the roof.

What effect did the video have on you?

 

 

What Is Compelling Motivation?

Let’s connect the dots with chocolate, motivation, and getting organized. The main takeaway from watching the video was this: What makes something so compelling it motivates you to do it now?

These are The Chocolate Room video elements I noticed:

  • Luscious photography: Used visuals for the desired goal

  • Sense activation: Detailed auditory descriptions of what the ‘goal’ feels/tastes like

  • Team effort: Showed passionate professionals in support of the goal

  • Essential ingredients: Described a positive environment and supplies needed to realize the goal

  • Commitment: Dedicated time to achieve the goal

What makes something so compelling it motivates you to do it now?
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

5 Essential Motivation Elements

How can you integrate the above elements when you need motivation to reach your goal? Consider these ideas:

  • Create a vision board or select images of what the completed goal will look like.

  • Write a description or record an audio clip about what the completed goal will feel like.

  • Hire your team (professional organizer, coach, or therapist) to provide support.

  • Gather tools and supplies needed.

  • Plan time and designate time blocks to accomplish your goal.

Collect the combination of ingredients to supercharge your motivation and achieve your goal. Which ingredients make motivation compelling for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

If you need help with motivation and getting organized, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or schedule a Discovery Call. Reaching your goals is possible, especially with support.