There are times when life goes sideways. The unthinkable happens, and you feel you have no control over anything. Your mood is dark, and hope is barely accessible. Cognitively, you understand there are no guarantees in life and that chaos is present. Yet, how do you cope? What can you do when nothing makes sense, and things feel out of control?

I don’t pretend to have the answers or know what you’re experiencing. I’m navigating this challenging time, too. Yet, I have a few strategies that are helping me, which might be helpful to you.

Instead of focusing on the areas you have no control over, shift your attention. Identify and engage in what is nourishing and within your control.

5 Courageous Coping Strategies When Life Feels Out of Control

1. Supercharge Your Self-Care

Take care of yourself. During stressful times, you might ignore the basics. However, doing that makes you feel worse and less able to cope with challenges.

Recommit to self-care basics. Get enough sleep, hydrate, eat nutritiously, and move your body. Walking in nature has additional mood-boosting benefits.

Beyond essential self-care, consider getting a massage, manicure, or pedicure. Or how about taking a yoga, exercise, or meditation class?

Be kind to yourself and engage in intentional, mood-enhancing activities within your control.

“Recommit to self-care basics.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

 2. Engage With Your Community

You might want to retreat when feeling out of sorts. However, I encourage you to do the opposite. Reach out to those who are also feeling ‘it.’ You’re not alone.

Your friends and family may be struggling, too. Connect with your loved ones. Pool your strengths while offering and receiving support.

3. Curate the Input

Scrolling social media, listening to the news, and fueling the fire may not be the healthiest choice. Cut yourself off (even if temporarily) when the external input you’re allowing adds to those out-of-control feelings.

Just as I encouraged you to eat nutritious foods to nourish your body, do something similar for your mind. Curate the input to minimize anxiety-producing thoughts and maximize ones with a more positive effect.

This could be a great time to read that new book or your favorite magazine from cover to cover. Or maybe you prefer to watch a comedy show or movie.

I’m not suggesting you ignore the outside world forever, but for this day, while building your resilience, choose to disengage with stress-inducing news. Control the input.

“Identify and engage in what is nourishing and within your control.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

4. Make Something

There is a gift in making something from nothing. What kind of something? Maybe you like to bake, write blog posts or in journals, take photographs, write poetry, or knit scarves. Perhaps you want to paint, write music, do a craft project, or create fancy cocktails.

Take control of a joy-inducing physical activity and make something. Enjoy the process and the result.

I’ve already journaled and worked on this post. Guess what else I did? I baked (and ate) some Almond Butter Chocolate Chip cookies. Fortunately, these cookies are not only delicious but also nutritious. I just have to remember to eat them in moderation. Wish me luck.

5. Declutter Your Space

Physical disorganization and chaos in your environment can affect how you feel and function. The disarray adds to a feeling of lack of control. You don’t know where things are or have the mind space to focus.

There is mood-boosting power in decluttering and organizing. The act of doing, making a change, and then experiencing the benefits of that shift is palpable.

You can’t control everything, but you can improve your corner of the world (or desk).

Human Coping Skills

Remember, you are resilient, and you have people to lean on. To help navigate challenging times, exert control in tiny yet significant ways. This won’t change everything, but it will help to calm and ground you. What coping strategies do you use when life feels chaotic?

If you need help decluttering, organizing, planning, or grounding, I’m here for you. Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.

What pace are you traveling as you transition seasons and greet the summer? Are you slowing down and taking time off for vacation? Or are you quickly filling your days to the point of exhaustion and overwhelm? Your pace directly correlates to how well you manage your time and enjoy life.

Whether or not you’re on vacation, you can integrate regular pauses during your week. Without breaks or stops, you become less efficient and productive. With moments to restore and refresh, the quality of your decisions improves. Pacing matters, especially if you want to let go of the extraneous and become more organized. Give yourself the best chance for success. Activate the power of lingering.

How can lingering increase happiness and make you a better time manager? While it may sound counterintuitive, lingering presents an opportunity for a mindful break while focusing on something enjoyable and restorative. Lingering lets you pause, appreciate, and slow down moments. You can then return to your day with a renewed focus on what you’re doing next.

Monthly Meditation and Writing Retreat

Most months, I participate in an inspiring virtual retreat led by my wonderful friend and Clarity Coach, Yota Schneider. She creates a safe, supportive space for women to gather, meditate, write, and share.

Several months ago, the retreat’s theme was “linger.” After our meditation, I wrote this passage during our free-write. It illustrates several ways lingering has had a positive effect on my life.

Thoughts About Lingering

Wet paws, conversations, and gelato. Those probably aren’t the first things that come to mind when you think of linger. However, as I calmed myself in the darkness, the faint sounds of train horns blowing juxtaposed with coyotes howling and the clock ticking. Wet paws, conversations, and gelato lingered in my mind.

Lingering is about time – the stretching, expanding, and slowing down of moments. While lingering can be thought of positively and negatively, happy stories and memories surfaced for me tonight.

Wet Paws

First, the wet paws. Our beautiful black lab, Norton, now long gone, loved going on forest walks with us. We often walked (the five of us – Steve, me, the girls, and Norton) down our block to the path in the woods that led to the Croton River. We’d go to this one spot where we climbed on the big flat rocks – each taking a seat.  We’d sit barefoot with feet dangling in the water as we watched the river flow and heard its thunderous sound. Sun rays coming through the canopy of trees warmed us.

Norton, like us, picked his rock and submerged his front paws in the river. We lingered – each enjoying this beautiful time with no agenda and nowhere to go as if time stood still. And then, for unknown reasons, Norton would get up and decide it was time to leave. So we did. The lingering was over.

Conversations

Second – conversations.  I’ve been missing my mom and two aunts (my mom’s younger sisters) a lot lately. We talked often. Our conversations meandered. Time felt like taffy – stretching and unending. We talked about love, family, and matters of the heart. We laughed, cried, and enjoyed our time together as we lingered leisurely and easily in free-flowing conversations.

The conversations with these three amazing women have ended—at least the out-loud ones have, as they are all gone.

“Lingering has restorative powers when you focus energy on positive moments.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Gelato

Lastly, gelato. I recently had a gelato ice cream cone experience that I didn’t want to end. I tried to linger as long as possible while eating it. But you know how gelato goes—it melts, so my lingering time was limited.

But as I ate this delicious mocha gelato in a cone drenched in freshly dipped warm dark chocolate, I stretched out the enjoyment for as long as possible.

Linger. To linger. Lingering. The precious moments time offers. The beautiful moments I allow myself to savor.

Wet paws, conversations, and gelato.

Lingering has restorative powers when you focus energy on positive moments. Do you linger? If so, have you noticed helpful effects on your well-being or time management? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

If you want help letting go, organizing, or managing your time better so you can enjoy life more, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or schedule a Discovery Call.  Change is possible, especially with support.

What does spaciousness mean to you? When our minds, rooms, and schedules are cluttered and overflowing with thoughts, stuff, and obligations, it can be challenging to find expansiveness. As humans, having spaciousness, in whatever form it appears, can be beneficial. You will experience less stress, improved mental well-being, greater creativity and productivity, and improved accessibility. What if you had more spaciousness in your life?

This morning, my guided mindfulness meditation practice reinforced my need for open expanses during the week. While I do well with a schedule, I also crave moments when I’m not on the clock. Yesterday was one of those days. Sure, it was the weekend, when days can be more open, although we often are busy doing things. However, yesterday was my birthday.

My husband Steve and I took the day off to play and suspended doing any work or house stuff. I can’t tell you how much I appreciated and enjoyed having a day like that. We had a loose plan. We walked along the Hudson River, ate at one of my favorite Italian restaurants, and saw a movie.

Space to Enjoy The Moments

There was no rushing. We enjoyed each thing until we were ready to move on. We had plenty of time to be present with what we were doing and each other. I also had space to soak in all the loving birthday messages from family and friends.

Happier Hour author Cassie Holmes, Ph.D., said, “The mosaic you create is the magnificent life you get to live.” What will you include in your artwork? What will you release?

“The mosaic you create is the magnificent life you get to live.”

— Cassie Holmes Ph.D.

The Value of Spaciousness

Why is any of this important? Being intentional about creating space will help you enjoy and appreciate life more. Consider how adding more white space will make the holiday season more enjoyable and less stressful. Whether you are hosting, going to gatherings, traveling, or staying put, spaciousness is your friend. What would it be like to have uncluttered spaces, clarity of thought, and time for what’s most important to you?   

This week, I invite you to clear some clutter, do a brain dump, or block out unscheduled space in your schedule. What will be possible when you eliminate rushing? What will become possible when you clear the landscape within and without?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

As the holiday season arrives, there is much to be grateful for. There are gatherings and celebrations to look forward to with your favorite humans. There are moments of simple ordinary joy like taking your first sip of hot coffee in the morning, crossing off a task from your to-do list, or receiving an encouraging message from a friend. When things are going well, gratitude comes easily, and you lean into those positive feelings. What happens when you experience unpleasantness, inconveniences, or heartbreak? Are you able to navigate with compassion and patience?

I’m having a terrible moment, although I recognize it’s fixable and will pass. My computer is giving me BIG trouble. Yes. I talked with tech support and am working on the problem. There’s more to do, but I guess it’s time to replace my computer. This is not something I want to do right now, but it’s also no fun having my computer crash continually, go as slow as molasses, and not be able to handle the work I do each day. Time, the most precious commodity, is being wasted. My frustration levels are increasing.

During the educational NERCPO conference this weekend, presenter Rubina Motta spoke about productivity and eliminating waste in your processes. She said waste is “anything that adds cost or time without adding value.” Was she talking to me? Rubina explained the “seven deadly wastes,” of which “waiting” was one of them. I understand how waiting is essential and unavoidable at times. However, waiting for my computer programs to load while the multicolored wheel spins or reboots because the computer froze again, I could do without.

There’s a quote by author L.R. Knost, who shares a perspective about life that is both realistic and hopeful. She said,

“Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and awful it’s ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.”

“Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. ”

— L.R. Knost

I love Knost’s advice, which I’m going to follow right now.

I will breathe in the amazing as I . . .

• Marvel at the deep rich red maple leaves dotting the fall landscape

• Spend time with my loved ones

• Walk along the river and in the woods

• Enjoy the flavors, textures, and scents of the foods I eat

• Hear music that makes me well up with emotion

• What amazing things will you breathe in?

I will hold on through the awful as I . . .

• Figure out what tech steps are needed next

• Grieve for the family and friends who have passed

• What awful things are you navigating?

I will relax and exhale during the ordinary as I . . .

• Do my daily mindfulness meditation

• Practice yoga

• Journal

• Brush my teeth

• Shower

• Organize my days

• Get into bed at night

• What ordinary things are you relaxing into?

Life is a mix of emotions, experiences, joy, heartbreak, and more. Some days are more challenging than others. Extend extra compassion to yourself as you navigate life’s ups and downs. Breathe, hold on, and relax through all that is before you. What are you noticing now? What is your time and attention feeding? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.