It’s spring. This is often a very happy, joy-filled time of year. The temperature is warming, nature is re-growing, and sunlight abounds. Yet even with these signs of hope and renewal, life can still feel overwhelming.  Why is that? Do we take on too much? Do “situations” that we have little to no control over knock us down? Do we having trouble seeing the path forward?

Whatever the reasons are for your overwhelm, I’m going to offer up one powerful method to help you reduce it and bring back some calm. Before my secret is shared, I offer you a short story.

You many already know this about me, but I love getting together with my family and friends. There’s nothing that makes me happier than sharing stories, time, meals and laughter. With Passover around the corner, my husband Steve and I have been preparing to host a seder in our home, as we do most years. The group will be larger than normal. I admit that I’ve been stressing out about how we’re going to accommodate everyone. Thoughts like, “Will we have enough seats or space?” and “What if we don’t have enough food?” have occupied my mind.

Finally, though, we figured out the space and food challenges. As I was just settling in and focusing on the other aspects of getting ready, we ran into a major glitch. Our fairly new boiler, which provides our home with heat and hot water, stopped working. Without giving you the details of the saga, the upshot is that we now have a huge home project that needs to happen the same week we’re preparing for our 35 guests to come over. We’ll probably do a quick fix solution to get our heat and hot water back. Then after the gathering, we’ll make the major repair needed (as in getting an above ground oil tank) to permanently fix the problem.

What does this mean? Aside from a huge, unanticipated expense, it also means that the house won’t be in the shape I’d hoped it would be. There might be piles of dirt outside from digging. There could be pipes running on the ground in places they normally aren’t. It might mean that things will be much more chaotic leading up to the event than I had hoped. Then it hit me. There was nothing I could do to change any of those things. In fact, I could be worrying about things that might be non-issues. I certainly wasn’t thinking about what was most important. So what did I do? I tapped into something I already knew, but needed to remind myself of again.

The powerful method to reduce overwhelm and increase zen is to let go!

We have no control over certain things like when the boiler or oil tank decides to break. So I’m focusing on the things that are in my control (like my attitude or how many pounds of brisket I’ll be cooking, or matzoh balls I’ll be making,) and let go of the perfectionist, worry-ladened thoughts. Instead, I choose to remain calm and embrace the joy I’ll experience when our family and friends come to our home. Letting go feels so much better than holding on to worry and stress. Letting go opens the door for experiencing, as my Mom used to refer to as, “the good stuff.”

What helps you reduce overwhelm? Is there anything you’d like to let go of? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!

When we let go, what happens? We remove resistance. We free ourselves from angst and stress. We allow our minds and days to flow more smoothly. We give ourselves a break from holding on so tightly. We exhale.

I don’t know about you, but lately for me, I’ve had a multitude of opportunities to practice my letting go skills, or as I like to say, “letting go muscles.”

My letting go practice has tested me with tech, cooking, entertaining, family, business, attitude, and stuff. Each situation presented differently and with varying challenges. Yet they all had one thing in common. They provided me with a choice. I could either dig in and resist, or let go enough to move forward.

What’s interesting is that when we can’t let go, we definitely stay stuck. That “stuck” can manifest itself in physical and emotional ways.

In some cases, letting go meant shifting my attitude. By doing so, I could see that a belief I thought was true wasn’t. Letting go allowed me to open my mind to a different way of thinking and appreciating.

In other instances, I had to ask questions about why I was keeping something that was just taking up real estate and wasn’t being used. Just like many of my organizing clients, I struggled with letting go of some belongings such as books, clothes, and DVDs. I coached myself through the process, and ultimately was able to let go of some “stuff.” And you know what? I don’t miss any of the things that exited. In fact, I feel a little bit lighter.

In the process of my practice runs, I came across a short YouTube video by Knowable about letting go. The timely message resonated with me and I hope it does for you too. Here’s the link:  A psychologist walked around a room . . .

Have you had practice runs with letting go? What has your experience been? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!

Matthew Hoffman, Artist

Are you ready to learn one of the best ways to facilitate letting go?

Parameters.

Set some boundaries or guidelines around your decision-making before you start the actual process of releasing things. Setting parameters in advance will allow you to move faster, decrease stress, and reduce decision fatigue.

Here's one way you might use this concept. Let’s say you have decades worth of health-related newsletters. Some you’ve read and others you haven’t. While you know there’s a lot of interesting information in those pages, the information isn’t current.

Instead of reading through every newsletter, you decide to activate a parameter. You choose that for any health newsletter over five years old, you'll recycle it immediately without looking through the pages. By setting this date parameter, you’ll save yourself hours of reading information that isn’t relevant. Instead, you can use your decision-making energy to make more important choices.

You can use the parameter concept for other areas, too. Let’s say your closet is overflowing. It’s a daily challenge to get dressed. There’s no space on the racks or shelves to move things around, so you can't see what’s there. You have an abundance of black pants and bulky sweaters, many of which you don't wear.

Instead of organizing the entire closet, you start with only those two categories. You opt to put some guidelines in place and decide that four pairs of black pants and six bulky sweaters are ‘enough.’ Now, it’s a matter of selecting your favorites. With your number parameters in place, letting go is more manageable.

It’s your turn to choose. Which parameters will make the letting go part of your organizing journey easier? Remember that the more parameters you establish in advance, the less decision fatigue you’ll experience, the faster you’ll reach your goals, and the less stress you’ll experience.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. What has your experience been with creating letting go parameters? 

Difficulty letting go is one of the recurring themes that I frequently encounter in organizing work with clients. In fact, this is often one of the first steps in the organizing process. You can’t organize if you haven’t gone through the editing phase.

Many clients find it extremely challenging to let go of their physical stuff, places, ideas, unhealthy relationships, items from their to-do lists, or unproductive habits. Of course the challenge with letting go isn’t reserved only for clients. I see this also with family, friends, colleagues, and myself.

The tension between holding on and letting go is part of being human.

I find it interesting, too, that even nature is finding it hard to let go this year. Winter just hasn’t seemed ready to transition. Just this week, what should have been a beautiful spring day was anything but that. I was surprised to wake up to plants covered with snow and cool temperatures to match. Spring wants to arrive, but winter isn’t ready to let go and make room for growth.

Isn’t that what our challenge with letting go is all about? We hold on tightly to what we think we might need or want, even if its value or usefulness has long passed. We hold on because it’s familiar or comfortable, and we hold on because we’re fearful of letting go.

So what makes it so hard to let go? For me, it depends on what. I can easily donate clothes I no longer wear or don’t feel good in. However, books that I’ve read and might want to refer to again, I have a much harder time giving away. I keep papers that need to be saved or archived for tax purposes, but junk mail, magazines, or notes that I’ve attended to, I recycle without hesitation.

I suspect that you are much like me. There are things you can easily let go of and others that prove more challenging. I also recognize that sometimes it’s OK to hold on. We might not be ready yet to let go. However, when we are ready to clear those things and thoughts that are holding us back, it is liberating and energizing.

What is hard for you to let go of? What’s easy? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation.