The holidays are quite the time of year. The twinkling lights decorating the landscape cue us to this season of giving, celebrating, and reflecting.

You might be finishing this year’s projects or beginning new ones to continue in the new year. While joy-inducing opportunities are abundant, balancing the holidays, work life, personal plans, and life maintenance responsibilities can be stressful.

There are many ways to bring calm and balance into your life, and I’ve written extensively about them.

Recently, I read something valuable and relevant from James Clear, which I’ll share with you. I hope you find it helpful as you navigate your balance this season.

First, The Back Story

Are you familiar with James Clear’s “3-2-1 Thursday” newsletter? Each issue includes three of his short ideas, two quotes from others, and one question to consider. One of my clients told me about it, and I signed up immediately. I enjoy receiving his weekly wisdom in its easily digestible format.

Two Simple Rules

In a recent newsletter, Clear shared this:

“Two simple rules:

1. You get better at what you practice.

2. Everything is practice.”

He encourages observing yourself and others to notice what we’re practicing. He reminds us that where you focus is a choice. For example, are you practicing…

• “Getting mad on social media?”

• “The fine art of noticing how they have been wronged?”

• Stressing over being stressed?

• Saying “yes” to the point of being overscheduled?

• Not following through on commitments?

• Engaging in negative self-talk?

• Not sleeping enough?

• Accumulating more stuff?

One Insightful Question

Bringing awareness to your practices is essential for changing where your time and energy go. Clear asks, “What are you practicing?”

Do you want to “get better” at nourishing practices? If so, focus on those while reducing harmful ones.

“What are you practicing?”

— James Clear

Here are several of my recent practices:

• Overcoming the fear of doing it wrong

• Meditating and journaling daily

• Reading in the morning

• Connecting with my loved ones

• Enlisting help for a new project

• Setting boundaries

• Writing

• Respecting my energy levels

• Working with virtual organizing clients

Which Practices Will Bring You More Balance?

You have an opportunity to create a better balance this season. What will you focus on during the last few weeks of the year? Which practices can you let go of that no longer serve you? Which ones do you want to invite in?

You have choices. I’m excited to see how this idea can shift your balance. I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

How Can I Help?

Do you want support decluttering, organizing, planning, or creating more balance? I’d love to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – A local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization, balance, and ease are possible, especially with support.

A while back, I received an email from Soren Gordhamer, an entrepreneur and founder of the Wisdom 2.0 Conference. He wrote,

“Two things are pretty clear:

 We have limited heartbeats in this life.

 And

 We never know when our last heartbeat will be.”

If that’s not a call to be intentional and focus on what matters most, I don’t know what is. When thinking about creating a better, happier life balance, framing it in the context of our limited time can help.

Are you spending time and emotional energy on things that are within or out of your control? Are you stressing about ‘what ifs, shoulds, and if only?’  Or are you focused on those things that are doable, bring you joy, and make life flow better?

You have choices, which is a good thing.

Circles of Influence and Control

This idea of limited time connects to another concept I was recently reminded of in To Do – 41 Tools to Start, Stick With, and Finish Things by Mikael Krogerus and Roman Tshchappeler.

They shared a Steven Covey concept from his classic book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It is the“circles of influence and control” technique to “help whenever we feel ineffectual, powerless or frustrated.” It’s also an excellent exercise for infusing better balance and focus into your days.

How to Create Your Circles – What You Can and Can’t Change

As the illustration below shows, draw three concentric circles.

1. Outer: Circle of Concern

• Anything you have no control over belongs in the “concern” circle.

• List several “things that bother you but you can’t do anything about.” Examples include:

  • Past events

  • The political climate

  • Natural disasters

  • Other people’s flaws

2. Center: Circle of Control

• List several things you have agency over. These could be:

  • What you eat

  • Amount of sleep you get

  • People you hang out with

  • Amount of organization you have

  • Books you read

  • Movies you watch

• Some might seem trivial, but they significantly influence our lives. Add these to your “control” list.

“There’s immense power in knowing which things in our lives we can and can’t control.”

— Mikael Krogerus and Roman Tschappeler

3. Middle: Circle of Influence

• Include here things that aren’t in your control, yet you might be able to influence through your attitude or behavior. For example,

  • It’s impossible to “single-handedly avert climate change, but you can do something about it by living sustainably.”

  • You cannot “change your genes, but you can exercise regularly and eat more healthfully.”

  • You have no power over circle of concern events. However, you can influence or change your reaction to them.

How Does This Exercise Help?

The more you focus on those things you have no control over (circle of concern), the “more helpless and ineffectual you’ll feel.” However, when you focus on what is within your control (circle of influence and circle of control,) “the more confident and less anxious you’ll be.”

This exercise can heighten your awareness of how you’re spending your precious time. Focusing on areas you have agency and influence over can tip the balance in a more positive direction.

A Balanced Life Approach

You only go around once. How can you balance your days to include those things within your control and influence? What can you improve? What can you let go of?  I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

Do you want help decluttering, organizing, planning, or finding a right balance for you? I’d love to help and I’m here for you. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – A local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization, balance, and ease are possible, especially with support.

We’re here, folks! Thanksgiving week is upon us. As I’ve talked with people about their holiday plans, I’ve heard a wide range of responses. Some are feeling completely stressed, while others are pretty relaxed. Are you at one extreme or somewhere in between?

The differences in how people are feeling revolve around things like . . .

• Are they hosting or being a guest?

• Are you bringing part of the meal to the host’s home?

• Will you be cooking, catering, or dining out instead?

• How many people will be at the event?

• Are you feeling organized enough or completely disorganized?

• Are you concerned about family dynamics or drama?

• How much traveling is involved?

• Is your Thanksgiving tradition the same, or will it be different this year?

• Are too many non-holiday things happening in your life right now?

• Are you missing loved ones who are unable to be with you?

• What? Thanksgiving is this week?

Which questions resonate with you? How are they influencing your approach and attitude about the holidays?

EASE: Embrace, Arrange, Savor, Express

I created a short acronym, EASE, to help you enjoy Thanksgiving more. This simple phrase works for everyone but is especially useful if you feel stressed or overwhelmed by this holiday or upcoming ones.

Breathe in EASE as you focus on engaging each idea.

• Embrace imperfection and unpredictability.

• Arrange simple, meaningful gatherings.

• Savor the flavors, conversations, and moments.

• Express gratitude for those things, big and small.

1. Embrace imperfection and unpredictability.

Embrace melds two ideas: Let go of perfection and acknowledge that life, let alone holiday gatherings, can be unpredictable. Focus on ‘good enough’ to soften perfectionistic tendencies. In addition, I remind myself of the many kooky things that happened at past Thanksgivings. We’re talking turkey catching on fire, EMS rescuing a guest who passed out, and almost pouring all of the gravy (that took days to make) down the kitchen drain.

While unpredictability might result in initial panic followed by quick action, the memories can evolve into fun and memorable Thanksgiving lore.

2. Arrange simple, meaningful gatherings.

Arrange encourages you to entertain in a meaningful and doable way. So, if cooking isn’t your thing, think about ways to make this aspect easier. Maybe it means letting someone else host, and you bring wine or dessert. Perhaps it means hosting but buying pre-made foods. Or maybe you’re going all out with hosting but simplifying the number of dishes you make.

More than what dishes you serve, the time spent together makes the holidays meaningful.

“Focus on ‘good enough’ to soften perfectionistic tendencies.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

3. Savor the flavors, conversations, and moments.

To savor means thoroughly enjoying and appreciating something, especially by lingering on its lovely qualities. There are so many opportunities to savor on Thanksgiving. I love the scents and tastes of this holiday. I can’t wait to bite into a section of a juicy pomegranate with its garnet-colored tart and sweet seeds, smell the hot apple cider simmering on the stove, or hug and talk with my loved ones.

A mindful presence will bring ease as it helps you engage more deeply with foods, people, and moments of connection and love.

4. Express gratitude for those things, big and small.

Being intentional about what you’re grateful for profoundly benefits your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. For example, gratitude is a natural stress reducer, fosters resilience, strengthens relationships, encourages kindness, improves sleep, boosts self-esteem, reduces negativity, and cultivates mindfulness.

While gratitude is often associated with and promoted more during the holiday season, expressing gratitude is a practice and awareness that can be integrated into every day.

Acknowledging even one thing you are grateful for will bring you more ease.

Human-Centered Thanksgiving

Approaching the holidays with EASE will help you focus on what’s most important and let go of what isn’t. You’ll feel less stressed, more joyful, and calmer. What can you do to infuse more ease into your holidays? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

Do you want help decluttering, organizing, brainstorming, or planning? Have you experienced the benefits of having an accountability partner? I’m here for you. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – A local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.

Do you feel more stressed during the holiday season? What is the source? Holiday-related stress might revolve around travel planning, gift-giving, card-writing, decorating, over-committing, or entertaining.

As someone who enjoys and has hosted many gatherings, I continually work on reducing stress. Experience helps. The more I do something, the easier and less stressful it becomes, and the better I am at planning and navigating surprises. However, a more significant aspect is mindset. If I keep telling myself how stressed I am, what happens? I reinforce that feeling.

What is Scruffy Hospitality?

Recently, I heard about “scruffy hospitality,” which is a more relaxed approach to entertaining. It’s a practice and also a mindset. The idea is to prioritize connection and conversation over obsession with creating picture-perfect environments and Instagram-worthy meals. The concept includes having people over without cleaning up first and approaching food more simply. Instead of making elaborate dishes, ‘scruffy’ entertaining loves potlucks, leftovers, and takeout.

While “scruffy hospitality” was coined a decade ago by Jack King, an Anglican priest from Tennessee, it has received more attention in the last few years. It rejects unrealistic social media standards that create pressure on us to be “perfect hosts.” Scruffy hospitality is a nod to embracing imperfection and authenticity. These involve letting go.

For this holiday season, especially if you’re stressed, I encourage you to incorporate some ‘scruffy’ into your life. It will look different for each person. Consider how beneficial scruffy hospitality could be for reducing your stress.

As a seasoned host, ‘scruffy’ isn’t a term I naturally associate with entertaining. I like to clean and prepare. Don’t get me started on my to-do lists. I enjoy the visual aspect of decorating the tables, arranging flowers, and creating colorfully plated dishes. Those aspects aren’t stressful for me. However, those and other aspects of entertaining might be stressful for you. And if it is, some of the suggestions below can help.

11 Ways to Reduce Holiday Stress by Embracing Scruffy Hospitality

• Reframe Clean – Do a quick clean instead of a deep one. Or hire someone else to clean.
  

• Organize Less – Declutter the dining room only, leaving all other areas in their ‘as is’ state.

• Recruit Help – Ask guests to bring parts of the meal.

• Minimize Decor – There is no need to go wild. A single plant, a small vase of flowers, a bowl of fruit, or an arrangement of gourds is a minimalist way to decorate a table. You can also leave things bare.

• Be Present – Cook with your guests instead of preparing things in advance.
  

• Try Self-Serve – Set up your food buffet-style rather than as a plated, sit-down meal.

• Don’t Cook – Forget about cooking anything. Purchase the entire meal or a few dishes.
  

• Do Less - Simplify your menu with fewer choices or prepare dishes requiring minimal ingredients.
  

• Dress Down – Be comfortable and show up as you are. No fancy clothes are required.
  

• Reduce Scope – Fewer guests can make the gathering more manageable. Dial down your invite list to reflect your ideal number of guests.

• Simplify Gift Giving – Focus on clutter-less gifts for you and the recipients. Give meaningful time-centered gifts like movie tickets, museum passes, or personal care services.

“Scruffy hospitality is a nod to embracing imperfection and authenticity.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

How I’m Incorporating Scruffy Hospitality This Season

One thing I decided to do differently this year is not to bake the apple and pumpkin pies. Instead, our daughter generously offered to make pies. While I’ve always baked, removing the pie-baking task frees up some time and reduces stress around coordinating kitchen usage with my husband. We share cooking for Thanksgiving and work around each other’s schedules and tasks. No pie baking this year means I’ll eliminate the stress of negotiating for counter, oven, and refrigerator space.

The other area where ‘scruffy’ applies is the number of guests. We love having a houseful of family and friends for the holidays. However, some guests have health issues or scheduling conflicts this year. While we’ll miss them greatly on Thanksgiving, fewer guests give me more time to talk with people. Managing the flow of the space is less stressful with fewer people, too.

Human-Considered Holidays

The holidays don’t have to be stressful. There are many ways to increase joy and minimize stress. How can you relax your approach to holiday hospitality? What will help you make it more joy-filled and less stressful? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

Do you want help decluttering, organizing, brainstorming, or planning? Do you need an accountability partner? I’m here for you. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward - A local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.