When you walk into a space, what do you see? Are the floors and surfaces filled with things? Is the space completely empty? Is it somewhere in between? How does it make you feel? Upon entering, do you feel anxious or relaxed? Is the space welcoming or does it make you want to turn away and leave?

Spaces affect our moods. It has everything to do with what is and isn’t in them. Lately, I’ve been thinking about filling and emptying rooms and how the mood of the space changes with the movement of objects.

Back in the fall, we moved our youngest daughter into her college dorm. Since she was the first to arrive, the suite was empty. No possessions occupied the space. As she unpacked, the space transformed as her belongings took their places. The space continued to fill as each suitemate arrived. Clear areas quickly became cluttered.

Nine months later, spring came as Cassie’s freshman year ended. We went to pick her up. She was the last roommate to leave and was all packed when we arrived. The space, which had been filled by six people, was once again empty. The stuff and clutter was gone.

So, what does this have to do with you? You are probably not moving in and out of dorm rooms. You do, however, have the opportunity to start with a clean slate and consider your spaces. You can think about how you’d like them to look and feel. Are they more cluttered than you want? If so, this can be your time to clear and release. Are you ready for a change?  If so, this can be your time to transform your spaces into welcoming, beautiful places.

What can you imagine? Where will you begin?

Letting go creates both physical and emotional space. It also encourages growth. When we allow our unwanted belongings to be released, our spaces become less cluttered. In turn, we feel more supported being surrounded only by beautiful, useful and meaningful things. We experience less stress. When we let go of ideas that don’t serve us well, we allow space for clarity and growth.

There is also the letting go we experience as parents. It seems like moments ago when our youngest daughter, Cassie, was ready to leave for her freshman year of college. As I grappled with becoming an empty-nester and realized that life as we knew it was about to change, I started reading, Letting Go – A Parents’ Guide to Understanding the College Years by Karen Levin Coburn and Madge Lawrence Treeger. I thought it might provide some comfort and insight into this new experience. Cassie saw the book on my nightstand and asked me why I was reading it. Or in her words, “What’s up with this, Mom?” I explained that her going to college was a significant change in our lives and that reading the book might help me better understand this new stage. She responded, “Why do you have to let go? College is just borrowing me for a bit.”

“Be open and let go. Embrace your growth.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

To some degree, she was right. Very soon, she will return home for the summer. So, in a sense, college did just “borrow” her for many months. But I realize that letting go didn’t mean cutting all ties as she was thinking about. Instead, it meant letting go of the dynamic that had existed, being open to this shift, stepping back enough to give Cassie more independence, and embracing a new stage of our lives. It has been an amazing year. I’ve watched her grow as she’s taken charge of her life and college experience. I, too, have experienced growth as I’ve pursued new projects, pushed myself beyond my comfort zone, and nurtured relationships with family and friends.

If you are grappling with letting go, whether it’s clothing, papers, memorabilia, or children, recognize that it might be uncomfortable as you shift from what you know towards a new dynamic. That discomfort is a necessary part of the process. Growth and clarity are waiting for you on the other side of the uncomfortable. Be open and let go. Embrace your growth.

I’ve always been a working mother. That helped me learn how to juggle many hats, be more flexible and find joy in the moments. Especially when our daughters were young, life was particularly hectic. Now that they’re both in college, the daily schedule isn’t as filled with their schedules, but juggling, flexibility and joyful moments are still very much part of my life.

Recently, our girls came home for their winter breaks. I worked some, but also took off time to spend with them. For those of you that have college-aged kids, you know that their hours are quite different from most parents. They stay up very late and sleep even later. There are frequent comings and goings between visiting friends, running errands and taking day trips. With our different schedules, it was important to grab time with them when I could, even if it was brief.

When I think back to the girls’ winter break, it was full with wonderful memories of both short and extended exchanges. Time together sometimes included a car ride and conversation on the way to an errand. Sometimes the moments were longer when we had leisurely meals together. This beautiful collage included walks in the snow covered woods, sipping tea and coffee at assorted cafes, snuggling and watching movies, grocery shopping, cooking, listening and dancing to music, visiting family, having friends over, laughing, donating blood, going to our favorite cupcake shop, getting lots of extra hugs and seeing our girls enjoying each others’ company.

Our lives are made up of moments. Joy is present if you allow yourself to feel it. What moments have you recently enjoyed with your kids? I’d love to hear one or two of your favorite memories.

In the last several months, I’ve been reading a lot on the subject of happiness. Between Gretchen Rubin’s book, The Happiness Project, Dr. Martin Seligman’s book, Authentic Happiness, and the recent Real Simple magazine issue, which featured happiness articles, this topic has occupied my thoughts more than usual.

Happiness comes in many forms. Finding joy in the present as opposed to wishing for the future or the past is one avenue for happiness. I’ve been a working mom from the time our girls were young. The pull between raising a family and juggling work has always existed for me.  What helped me negotiate that challenge was learning to be present wherever I was. When I was with our girls, I was with them 100%. When I was working, I focused on that completely. In addition, I looked for small moments of joy along the way.

On my “Mommy days,” I often had to run errands and play catch-up. The girls always went with me. I treated our outings as opportunities for fun, adventure and bonding. If we were driving along and saw something beautiful or heard something funny, we noticed it together. We’d sing in the car, dance in the supermarket aisles and laugh at silly sights. It made car rides fun, shopping less mundane and helped us find the fun in very simple things. We allowed ourselves happiness breaks.

Now our girls are both in college. They are happy and working very hard. The fall semester is almost over. Our oldest daughter is feeling the time crunch for completing her projects. Sleep is something she’s not getting enough of these days because there’s so much to do. She commented to me that while she normally lives in the present and enjoys each day, right now she’s feeling a little guilty that she’s wishing the semester to be over.

I’ve experienced times that were more intense than others. There were years when my sleep was interrupted by the girls waking me up in the night. During those years, even with the lack of sleep and many demands on my time, I knew that it was temporary. In the blink of an eye, the girls would be all grown-up and self-sufficient. Free time would be something I’d have more of, eventually. I also knew that as challenging as it was, I wanted to enjoy the time, sleep deprived and all, because when it was gone, I’d miss those special years.

Happiness involves finding joy in the little things. Even when life is chaotic, the kids aren’t sleeping, work deadlines are looming and you don’t seem to have any time for yourself, there are small ways to find happy moments. Things like that first sip of morning coffee, hearing your favorite DJ on the radio, seeing gorgeous colors, laughing with your kids, slipping into your warm, cozy bed after a long day. . . these are all causes for mini-celebrations or opportunities to be grateful. It won’t matter that you have challenges if you can find small windows nestled in the chaos to stop and appreciate what’s right in front of you. Happiness options are bountiful if you allow yourself to enjoy them.

What makes you happy?