On this beautiful spring day, I am grateful to all the amazing moms who have mentored, raised, and taught me how to love and be loved, be a parent, caretaker, and friend. Motherhood isn’t all smooth sailing, as every parent will admit. It’s messy, confusing, and at times, clutter-filled. However, being a parent is also joy-inducing. Helping our kids to grow, explore, and become has been and continues to be one of the most amazing experiences of my life.

I learned about motherhood from the best- my mom and her two sisters, Aunt Bert and Aunt Ruthy. These incredible women who exuded love and encouragement are now gone. I miss our soulful conversations, giggle sessions, shared meals, hugs, and quiet times together. While they are no longer here, their love remains.

They helped guide me when I became a mom 33 years ago. My heart expanded and grew again when, two years later, our second child was born. I never understood how fiercely my mom loved me until I became a parent. I adore our daughters, Allison and Cassie. I can’t imagine life without their loving presence. Seeing them blossom into incredible people inspires me and makes me hopeful for our future.

I am filled with gratitude, love, and sadness on this Mother’s Day. I’m grateful to the moms who raised me, my daughters, who continue to teach me, and my husband, Steve, an amazing parenting partner. These relationships fill my heart with so much love.

I’m sad because my mom and aunts are gone. Aunt Bert, the last of the “Simon Sisters,” died suddenly last week. I’m still wrapping my head around this profound loss. 

“I am grateful to all the amazing moms who taught me how to love and be loved.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Whether you are a mom or know a wonderful mom, I hope you will take the time to celebrate a beautiful mom in your life. Wishing all the moms, aunts, and grandmothers a happy, love-filled Mother’s Day!

Is there a special mom you’d like to tell us about? Do you have any mom stories you’d like to share? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

The “Ask the Expert” interview series connects you with dynamic thought leaders. This year we’ve spoken with Cameron Gott about enlisting help, Dr. Thomas Armstrong about motivation, Harold Taylor about time management, Erin Rooney Doland about clutter, Francine Jay about letting go, Todd Henry about next steps, Dr. Debbie Grove about change, and Joshua Becker about fresh starts. For September, I’m thrilled to have with us innovation expert, Whitney Johnson to share her insights about success.

One of the perks of being active on social media is there’s the opportunity to meet interesting people that you might not have met otherwise. One of my Twitter buddies introduced me to Whitney through her book, Dare, Dream, Do. I read it, loved it, and couldn’t wait to interview her for this series. Before we begin the interview, here is more about her.

Whitney Johnson is a leading thinker on driving innovation via personal disruption, co-founder of Clay Christensen’s investment firm, and was an award winning Wall Street equity analyst and stock picker. She is a regular contributor for Harvard Business Review and the author of Dare, Dream, Do: Remarkable Things Happen When you Dare to Dream. You can connect with Whitney on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Google+, blog or website. 

Linda Samuels:  On your website you wrote, “I see the world as a series of opportunities to invest– in stocks, in ideas, and in people. I believe my true mission is to help people ‘disrupt themselves’ and build a remarkable and surprising future.” What are some essential success ingredients?

Whitney Johnson:  Ah, success.  My definition of success has changed over the years.  When I was younger, it was all about the outcomes.  Would I make the tennis team?  Get into the right college?  Get a prestigious job?  Which I think is normal.  From a developmental perspective, we need concrete goals.  But, I’m discovering that a lifetime of success involves showing up.   Not in a “here I am, therefore I deserve” kind of way.  But in deciding that I want or care about something enough to do the work.   And to then NOT sabotage myself.  So that if it doesn’t happen, I have no excuses. Whether it’s the dream of giving a great speech, launching a successful investment fund, or being a good parent.  The surprising truth here is that even when I fail, there is a thrill and deep satisfaction in knowing I have given it my all.

Linda:  What are some obstacles we might experience when pursuing success? 

Whitney:  Entitlement -- The opposite of showing up.  The thing about entitlement is it comes in lots of clever guises.  Many of us reflexively think “Kids. Now they are entitled.”  But all of us struggle with entitlement.  Think about when a colleague gets a well-deserved opportunity. You are genuinely happy for them.  But there is a piece of you that snivels, “Why didn’t I get that opportunity?  Why do I even bother trying?”  I know I’ve felt this way – just last week, if you’re wondering.  Failure to acknowledge and see abundance in another person’s success is a form of entitlement.

Linda:  In your book, Dare, Dream, Do, you emphasize the importance of dreaming. What is the connection between dreaming and success?  

Whitney:  When we dream, we are hungering for a better life.  And when we dream, we become problem solvers, letting nothing stand in our way.  Dreaming is at the heart of disruption.

Linda:  What are traits successful people have in common?

Whitney:  There are (3) traits I think are especially important.  Showing up, as I’ve mentioned.  Also, the ability to persuade, meaning you can help people see your vision for a remarkable future.  And a growth mindset, the belief that our abilities are not innate and fixed, but that with practice and perseverance we can improve.

Linda:  What has been your biggest personal success challenge? 

Whitney:  Being a mother.  Our children are 18 and 14 respectively.  Being a mother requires me to ‘show up’ – no performance or posturing.  It is messy, and scary, and I frequently feel downright inept.  But with each passing year, I am ‘showing up’ more, and my relationship with my children and husband improves – so according to my metrics, I would say I am successful.

Linda:  What is your most surprising discovery about success?

Whitney:  It is elusive (the brass ring doesn’t really exist) and potentially ever present; every day I get to decide if I will be fully in my life, to show up. 

Thank you, Whitney for being here with us. I love the way you talk about success with such clarity and humanity. Your idea of “showing up” resonated with me, especially in the context of when I was preparing a few weeks ago to attend my first conference as ICD President. I realized that while I could stress and prepare about getting everything “right,” what was most important was that I “show up,” be present, and give my full attention to people individually and as a group.

Join Whitney and me as we continue the conversation. What are your success discoveries? What resonates with you?

What do tooth fairies, working mothers, and fathers have in common? We’re all about the kids, our work is never done, and we keep late hours. Our girls have long ago passed the tooth fairy stage. The jig is up, and they know now that for the many years of visits, Mom and Dad weren’t just the tooth fairy’s assistant, but they were actually the tooth fairy.

In the process of helping our youngest daughter organize and get ready for college we came across some things that brought back memories of those days. Tucked away in one of her drawers was the “tooth fairy pillow.” Each time she lost a tooth, that special pillow would magically appear in the night with her tooth, some money and a limerick tucked into its pocket. When I asked Cassie if she still wanted the pillow, she looked at me in surprise, hugged it and said, “Of course!”

As we organized her room, going through drawers and shelves, we also came across the box of teeth and the famous tooth fairy limericks, which were neatly clipped together. So at this point, I’m guessing that you’re wondering what the heck is a tooth fairy limerick?

In our family, the tradition that my husband invented was that each time our girls lost a tooth, the tooth fairy would not only leave a token amount of money, but would write a limerick that reflected how the tooth was lost. So each of our girls have quite the collection.

The back-story is that Steve and I would wait until they went to sleep. As working parents, this was often a difficult thing to do because by the time they were asleep, we were exhausted. But we were devoted to the tradition. You can imagine trying to be clever at 11pm, midnight, 1am. You get the picture. I’d like to say we collaborated, but mostly, he was the writer and I consulted, laughed or just tried NOT to fall asleep before the writing was done. This was serious parenting business! I remember many silly nights of limerick writing.

Here is one of my favorites-

“On the eve of the millennium

we found

that dear Cassie’s front tooth

came unwound.

She wanted it out,

so she pulled it about,

‘till that tooth popped right out

in her hand.”

Helping our youngest get ready for college is bittersweet. Preparing together involves visiting her past, reviewing her life and getting her ready for the future. When we came across the pillow, teeth and limericks, the three of us stopped while Steve read out loud all the limericks to us. What a beautiful tribute to Cassie, to parenting, to capturing significant moments and to recognizing what letting go is all about. Those limericks honored transitions- the loss of one thing and the moving ahead to something new.

Whether it’s kids loosing teeth, leaving the nest or something else, what transitions are you going through now?

What is so important about letting go? Why have I devoted chapter four of my book, The Other Side of Organized, to this specific topic? On a daily basis, the work I do with my clients revolves around letting go. Many days are spent editing and releasing papers, clothing, dishes, memorabilia, expired groceries, books, jewelry, toys, gifts, bags and many other items.

Letting go of these physical belongings, especially when they consume space and no longer provide value, transforms the attitude of the person releasing them. While they have had challenges in the past with letting go, when they finally fill bags of items to donate, recycle or discard, they become almost giddy. Their spaces, which felt overwhelming and cluttered, become places that feel good to live in. I feel fortunate that my clients allow me to be part of this transformative process.

What happens when you know it’s time to let go but you aren’t quite ready? The truth is that I’m thinking about a different type of letting go- not things, but children. Our youngest daughter is about to graduate high school. While it’s not time yet, she will be leaving for college in a few short months. After having kids, friends and activities grace our home for 20 plus years, our lives are about to dramatically change. Cassie is excited to be going to college. She’s ready. Intellectually, I know this is a good thing.

While I’ve thought about this time, prepared the best I could, encouraged more independence and pulled back a bit, there is still a pang in my heart because I understand that this beautiful segment of our lives is coming to a close. Sure, we’ll always be parents. Sure, we’ll always be here if our daughters need us. But the way we live day to day will cease to exist as we know it. This is the natural progression of raising kids. You nurture, love and encourage them. Then they go off and make their way in the world. It’s what you raise them to do.

I know a few things about letting go. It’s a necessity. It isn’t easy. But when you are willing to let go of what needs to be released, wonderful things do happen. I know Cassie will spread her wings and perhaps her parents will, too.