Do you feel more stressed during the holiday season? What is the source? Holiday-related stress might revolve around travel planning, gift-giving, card-writing, decorating, over-committing, or entertaining.

As someone who enjoys and has hosted many gatherings, I continually work on reducing stress. Experience helps. The more I do something, the easier and less stressful it becomes, and the better I am at planning and navigating surprises. However, a more significant aspect is mindset. If I keep telling myself how stressed I am, what happens? I reinforce that feeling.

What is Scruffy Hospitality?

Recently, I heard about “scruffy hospitality,” which is a more relaxed approach to entertaining. It’s a practice and also a mindset. The idea is to prioritize connection and conversation over obsession with creating picture-perfect environments and Instagram-worthy meals. The concept includes having people over without cleaning up first and approaching food more simply. Instead of making elaborate dishes, ‘scruffy’ entertaining loves potlucks, leftovers, and takeout.

While “scruffy hospitality” was coined a decade ago by Jack King, an Anglican priest from Tennessee, it has received more attention in the last few years. It rejects unrealistic social media standards that create pressure on us to be “perfect hosts.” Scruffy hospitality is a nod to embracing imperfection and authenticity. These involve letting go.

For this holiday season, especially if you’re stressed, I encourage you to incorporate some ‘scruffy’ into your life. It will look different for each person. Consider how beneficial scruffy hospitality could be for reducing your stress.

As a seasoned host, ‘scruffy’ isn’t a term I naturally associate with entertaining. I like to clean and prepare. Don’t get me started on my to-do lists. I enjoy the visual aspect of decorating the tables, arranging flowers, and creating colorfully plated dishes. Those aspects aren’t stressful for me. However, those and other aspects of entertaining might be stressful for you. And if it is, some of the suggestions below can help.

11 Ways to Reduce Holiday Stress by Embracing Scruffy Hospitality

• Reframe Clean – Do a quick clean instead of a deep one. Or hire someone else to clean.
  

• Organize Less – Declutter the dining room only, leaving all other areas in their ‘as is’ state.

• Recruit Help – Ask guests to bring parts of the meal.

• Minimize Decor – There is no need to go wild. A single plant, a small vase of flowers, a bowl of fruit, or an arrangement of gourds is a minimalist way to decorate a table. You can also leave things bare.

• Be Present – Cook with your guests instead of preparing things in advance.
  

• Try Self-Serve – Set up your food buffet-style rather than as a plated, sit-down meal.

• Don’t Cook – Forget about cooking anything. Purchase the entire meal or a few dishes.
  

• Do Less - Simplify your menu with fewer choices or prepare dishes requiring minimal ingredients.
  

• Dress Down – Be comfortable and show up as you are. No fancy clothes are required.
  

• Reduce Scope – Fewer guests can make the gathering more manageable. Dial down your invite list to reflect your ideal number of guests.

• Simplify Gift Giving – Focus on clutter-less gifts for you and the recipients. Give meaningful time-centered gifts like movie tickets, museum passes, or personal care services.

“Scruffy hospitality is a nod to embracing imperfection and authenticity.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

How I’m Incorporating Scruffy Hospitality This Season

One thing I decided to do differently this year is not to bake the apple and pumpkin pies. Instead, our daughter generously offered to make pies. While I’ve always baked, removing the pie-baking task frees up some time and reduces stress around coordinating kitchen usage with my husband. We share cooking for Thanksgiving and work around each other’s schedules and tasks. No pie baking this year means I’ll eliminate the stress of negotiating for counter, oven, and refrigerator space.

The other area where ‘scruffy’ applies is the number of guests. We love having a houseful of family and friends for the holidays. However, some guests have health issues or scheduling conflicts this year. While we’ll miss them greatly on Thanksgiving, fewer guests give me more time to talk with people. Managing the flow of the space is less stressful with fewer people, too.

Human-Considered Holidays

The holidays don’t have to be stressful. There are many ways to increase joy and minimize stress. How can you relax your approach to holiday hospitality? What will help you make it more joy-filled and less stressful? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

Do you want help decluttering, organizing, brainstorming, or planning? Do you need an accountability partner? I’m here for you. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward - A local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.

Having a long holiday weekend is a wonderful way to temporarily change the pace of life. That extra time allows you to engage in fun activities, recharge, and break from your usual schedule. It also presents an array of opportunities to calm your mind clutter.

Perhaps your thoughts aren’t intrusive, and you don’t have unproductive worries and thought loops. However, if you experience these challenges regularly or occasionally, I have some ideas to help.

Reflecting at the end of this long leisurely weekend, I realized how my experiences decreasing mind clutter could be valuable solutions for you.

3 Ways to Calm Your Mind Clutter

1. Observing

One of the things I enjoy doing is taking photographs of nature. I love framing images that capture the larger landscape. I also enjoy taking details, like a bee pollinating a flower. Over the weekend, I felt inspired to take pictures with so many gorgeous flowers in bloom. While these photos only take a moment, intently looking helped me focus like the camera lens I look through. In an instant, I see the vibrant colors nature offers or notice details of leaf veins, flower filaments, or light sparkling on the water’s surface.

And guess what? My mind isn’t racing or cluttered with thoughts when I'm present and observing. Maybe taking photos isn’t your thing. That’s absolutely OK. Activate the skill of observing to calm your mind clutter. What do you see in front of you at this very moment? What details are present?

2. Sensing

I am sensitive to the physicality of how things feel. For instance, I will only wear clothes with smooth, not itchy textures. I love the feel of velvet, velour, and other soft fabrics. I also enjoy the feeling of the sun or a cool, gentle breeze on my skin. If I’m in a store ‘window shopping,’ I like to touch things. It helps me see and interpret them in another way.

This weekend, my husband and I visited Field + Supply’s spring makers' market in Kingston, NY. Our daughter, Allison, had a booth for her Level Up Project with a cohort of eight small businesses. We enjoyed walking around, seeing beautifully crafted pieces, and meeting the makers.

We needed a break from the visual and auditory input at one point, so we sat on the lawn to snack and relax. I took off my sandals, and my feet enjoyed the feeling of the cool grass beneath them. Noticing, touching the grass, and acknowledging that pleasant sensation, helped me be in the moment. My mind clutter disappeared.

What sensations are you experiencing now? When you focus on physical sensations, does it distance you from your thoughts and calm your mind clutter?

“Activate the skill of observing to calm your mind clutter. ”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

3. Watering

I’m not talking about watering plants or hydrating yourself. Instead, I use ‘watering’ about being near or in the water. I love doing anything water-related, and kayaking is one of my favorites. There is something so grounding about being on the water, sitting low, and in a boat. I can float and drift or actively paddle to locomote from one part of the river to the next. All the while, I’m surrounded by the ambient nature sounds- water whooshing, birds singing, and the breeze blowing.

Paddling through the water becomes a kind of mindfulness meditation. At the same time, it makes me feel strong and calm. My arms pulling the paddle through the river brings me to the present. My thoughts are focused on precisely what I’m doing. There’s no mind clutter, no mind wandering, just pure enjoyment in the kayak on the water.

Does water have a mind-decluttering effect on you? Maybe kayaking isn’t your thing. How about swimming, jumping waves in the ocean, or taking a bubble bath? Can you use water to calm your mind clutter?

There are many ways to reduce your mental clutter. What resonates with you? Are there other strategies you prefer? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

The newest release (v38) of the “What’s Interesting?” feature has my latest finds, which inform, educate, and relate to organizing and better balance. These unique, inspiring, life balance discoveries reflect this month’s blog theme.

You are a generous, communicative, and engaged group. I am deeply grateful for your ongoing presence, positive energy, and contributions to this community. I look forward to your participation and additions to the collection I’ve sourced.

What do you find interesting?

What’s Interesting? – 5 Best Life Balance Discoveries

1. Interesting Read – Happier Balance

Does life feel hectic this time of year? As we wrap up one year and head into the next, how can you move forward with a happier, more fulfilling life balance? In Happier Hour – How to Beat Distraction, Expand Your Time, and Focus on What Matters Most, social psychologist, professor, and researcher Cassie Holmes, Ph.D., shares her ideas on our most precious resource, time. Holmes says, “Our hours and days add up to years and decades, and ultimately our entire lives. How we spend our time defines who we are, the memories we cherish, and how we will be remembered by those we leave behind.”

Backed by research, wisdom, practical advice, and exercises, Holmes brings you through a doable process. You become aware of where your time is going, which activities are most meaningful, and how to use “time crafting” to “piece together your hours to design an ideal week, like piecing together the tiles of a mosaic.” With a focus on joy and meaning, Holmes says, “The mosaic you create is the magnificent life you get to live.” What makes your days happier?

2. Interesting Product – Office Balance

With a constant flow of emails, texts, calls, projects, and meetings, office life (be it at home or off-site) can feel anything but balanced. A simple solution to restore calm in this hectic setting is to bring nature indoors. Tons of research supports the positive benefits to our well-being when we’re in or near nature. The Container Store offers a simple solution with the Design Ideas Mini Succulent Planter Magnets. This set of three tiny magnetic plant holders is perfect for displaying small succulents or dried grasses.

While I don’t own the magnets, I have a small air plant in my office in a ceramic pot on a wooden stand that my daughter made. I love having greenery in view. It also brings me joy to care for plants. What helps bring balance to your office space?

“The mosaic you create is the magnificent life you get to live.”

— Cassie Holmes, Ph.D.

3. Interesting Article – Noise Balance

In Time’s article, How Listening to Silence Changes Our Brains, authors Justin Zorn and Leigh Marz remind us that the “world is literally louder right now than it’s been at any time in known history.” Research shows how excessive noise causes stress, hearing loss, cardiovascular disease, stroke, depression, and learning lags.

“While the costs of noise are increasingly clear, the power of silence for the mind and body is actually something bigger and deeper than the transcendence of stress or interruption.” Silence can accelerate the growth of brain cells. “The act of listening to quiet can…enrich our capacity to think and perceive.” Whether you meditate, practice yoga, or listen in a quiet environment, your mind and body will benefit from the silence. “In an age of so much noise, silence deserves our attention.” What is a recent experience you had with silence?

4. Interesting Resource – Mood Balance

My friend and colleague, Julie Bestry, is an incredible organizer, researcher, and blogger. In a recent post, she shared a visual breathing app for calming the system. I was intrigued and discovered this other one from eXHALeR designed to help with yoga, meditation, anxiety, or panic attacks. You can adjust certain variables, including the timing for inhaling, holding your breath, and exhaling.

If you want to create an immediate shift in your mood and be more balanced, experiment with the eXHALeR. Breathe in. Hold. Exhale. Hold. Repeat. How do you feel?

5. Interesting Thought – Boundary Balance

Especially during this season, we get asked to do, attend, and gather more. That isn’t necessarily negative, but all the extra doing and saying “yes” to things can create added stress. Setting some boundaries can significantly affect how you navigate the holiday season.

Perhaps you chose to celebrate with a smaller group, take a self-care break between events, or get takeout instead of cooking. There are many ways to enjoy your time and feel more balanced by setting a few well-placed boundaries. What boundaries will you create?

Do you have an interesting life balance discovery? Which of these resonates with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Motivation is a funny thing. It can appear in full strength, seemingly out of nowhere. Or, it can be so hard to find that you think it is lost forever. As my husband recently said, this season’s mood can feel like the “lazy days of summer.” Perhaps you’re experiencing the desire to not do, not strive, but instead relax, enjoy, and stop accomplishing. You might want to enjoy BBQ time with friends and family, swimming in water bodies, or exploring new places. All of that is perfectly normal, especially after the year we’ve had. But if you are struggling with getting motivated and want to activate, I have some ideas to share with you. 

There have been several situations I’ve either experienced or observed where the motivation juices were stirred. Maybe one of these will resonate with you. The next time you’re in need, you’ll be able to tap into one of these strategies to help.

3 Helpful Ways to Increase Your Motivation

1. There’s Nothing Like a Deadline

Allison Samuels, Maker - Two Tree Studios

Are you more motivated to complete something if you are under pressure because of a deadline? I’m not advocating waiting until the last minute, but I have seen and experienced how a deadline imposed by the self or others can motivate us to get stuff done. Last week our daughter, Allison, had a gallery show opening at Room 68 in Provincetown with her beautiful “transformed objects.” While she worked on designing and conceptualizing the pieces for a while, the big push to complete them came close to the delivery date. One of the finishes she uses involves burning the wood, which creates a gorgeous black finish. It was as if the fire that brought the pieces into their final stages also lit her motivation to create them.

Motivation Takeaway:  If you’re having trouble activating, set a deadline. It might just be the fire you need to complete your project.

2. The Thrill of the Hunt

Lyle Puente, Chef - Put Some Meat On Your Bones

A few weeks ago was Father’s Day. One of the gifts I gave my husband was a date. An article we read and loved in Westchester Magazine about the best local food trucks inspired the gift. We picked a time to go, chose Steve’s favorite food truck, and ate a delicious lunch. Talk about seeing motivation in action. I watched as he deep dove into the article and created a list of his top four favorites with pros, cons, contact info, and more. He then reached out by email to confirm if they were open and where they were located. We took a walk first and hoped that someone would respond to his inquiry. We decided that even if no one got back to us, we’d chance it and hunt for one of the food trucks. His number one choice, Put Some Meat on Your Bones, owned by chef Lyle Puente, confirmed his location and hours. We were delighted, hungry, and motivated to drive to the truck. Those were the most delicious grilled cheese sandwiches we ever ate! 

Motivation Takeaway:  If your motivation is waning, consider how anticipation about trying something new can work its magic.

“If your motivation is waning, consider how anticipation about trying something new can work its magic.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

3. Clear the Decks Before Putting Your Luggage in the Car

Ocean Grove, NJ

I mentioned how summer is a prime vacation season. Especially because of the stay-in-place orders we experienced this past year, people want to travel. While vacations can be relaxing or enervating, they usually bring a much-needed break and change of scenery. But before we can experience those wonderful benefits, we need to prepare. There is planning, researching, reserving, list-making, organizing, doing laundry, holding mail, packing, and wrapping up last-minute projects. We can energize and accomplish even more when we attach it to this travel motivation. 

We have a few mini-vacations this summer, including going to the Catskills, the Cape, and the Jersey Shore. Before I go away, I like the house to be clean and organized. I call this clearing the decks. Pillows are fluffed, rooms get quick-cleaned, trash and recycling go out, desk papers are filed, bills are paid, electronics get unplugged, and the fridge contents are edited. Things get returned to their spots. Loose ends are tied up, which helps me let go physically, emotionally and enjoy the time away. This extra prep makes our place welcome-home-ready. After being away for a few nights or more, there’s nothing better than returning to a calm, relaxing home.

Motivation Takeaway:  If you’re finding it challenging to bring organization and calm to your living space, harness the motivational energy that comes with vacation prep to help you get there.

Are you feeling challenged motivationally? What helps you get motivated? Did one of these strategies resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.