Yota Schneider, Open for SuccessLife transitions coach, Yota Schneider shares more perspectives about next steps in this two-part interview. In Part 1, Yota talked with me about many things including key ingredients for making successful choices and navigating the uncertainty gap.  Our conversation continues as she shares more insights with us. Before we begin, here’s some background about Yota.

Yota Schneider is a life transitions coach working with people who want to explore the hidden gifts and opportunities of change in their lives. Her approach is inspiring, practical, and empowering. As a Seasons of Change certified Master Coach and a mindfulness meditation practitioner, Yota uses a variety of tools and strategies to help her clients overcome self-doubt, gain a new perspective on life’s ups and downs, and make decisions and choices that are fueled by greater clarity and a renewed sense of purpose. You can connect with her on Twitter, Facebook or her website.

Linda:  Why do we get stuck and have difficulty moving forward?

Yota:  Change isn’t easy. Whether it’s our choice or not, we still have to adapt to a new way of being and that can be intimidating.

During times of transition we come up against our fears, disempowering beliefs and habits, unrealistic expectations, and external pressure. There are practical matters to cope with, growing pains to tolerate and let’s not forget, timing. There’s a time for everything. Time plays by it’s own rules. We have no control over some things.

Being stuck and having difficulty moving forward can be a good thing because it gives us the time and space we need to do our homework and become the kind of person who can recognize, appreciate and take full advantage of what comes next.

Unless being stuck and unable to more forward is rooted in some chronic life issue that needs to be dealt with, use this time as a time of exploration and discovery. Let go of the stigma and look at it from a place of curiosity.

Linda:  What has been your biggest personal challenge around figuring out the next step?

Yota:  Patience isn’t my strong suit. I am no different than many people who want things done yesterday. I also have the tendency to be hard on my self. At times of transition, when nothing is quite clear and the day-to-day needs are pressing on me, I can hear the voice in my head saying, “Not again. You should know better by now. Why in the world can’t you be like other people?”

I guess that’s why I love working with people who are being challenged from the inside out. I know the drill all too well. Over the years and through the many changes and transitions I’ve experienced, I’ve learned to work with the voice of doubt and fear.

I hear it and recognize it for what it is- the voice of self-doubt. I don’t fight it, but I don’t welcome it either. I just recognize and breathe through it. I take good care of myself. I give my attention to what’s right in front of me. I become selective of whom I surround myself with. I read, journal, meditate, work in my garden, and take long walks. I try to honor that part of me that needs to be quiet, still, and creative. I go with the flow. When I fall, I pick myself up gently.

Over the years, I’ve learned and am still learning, what it means to be kind to one self. Life can be difficult at times. I don’t have to make things more difficult than they already are.

Linda:  What is the most surprising discovery about figuring out “next”?

Yota:  I’ve been through enough changes and maybe I shouldn’t be surprised by what I’m going to share with you, yet, I always catch myself in awe about these two points.

First, what needs to change will always change. Fighting against the inevitable makes things more difficult than they ought to be.  Once, we stop resisting and let go of the need to know why it happened, the process of figuring out “what’s next” is a lot easier than we think.

Next, no matter how difficult a transition may be and how impatient we may grow or how many tantrums we may throw in the process, things will unravel at their own pace. Then, one day we open our eyes as if waking up from a long winter’s nap, and find ourselves exactly where we belong. We feel renewed, refreshed, and ready for another round.

Linda:  Is there anything you’d like to share that I haven’t asked?

Yota:  You’ve been really thorough, Linda. The one thing that comes to mind is what happens after we’ve embarked on our “next” stage.

Many either don’t know how to or forget to celebrate the warmth of summer after a long and cold winter. Many of us tend to look over our shoulder, waiting for the next shoe to drop, even as we’re embraced by success. Lousy habit, don’t you think?

Remember the importance to celebrate as we go. There’s so much to be grateful for. Why not take inventory, count our blessings, celebrate our success and the completion of yet, another journey? Change will come around again but, in the meantime, let’s celebrate what we have, what we learned, and share our gifts with others. It’s like storing sunny memories for when the cold of winter comes around again. It comes handy.

Thank you so much for inviting me to discuss one of my favorite subjects. I can’t wait to see what your readers share about their experience.

Thank you, Yota for your wonderful thoughts about next steps. I invite all of you to join us as we continue the conversation. What are your thoughts, experiences or questions about next steps?

Yota Schneider, Open for SuccessLast month I introduced a new monthly “Ask the Expert” feature on The Other Side of Organized blog. I interviewed John Ryan of The Life Change Network about change. This month, since we’re talking about next steps, I’ve invited the warm, insightful life coach, Yota Schneider to share her wisdom with you.

It has been a pleasure to get to know Yota over this past year. My gratitude and thanks goes to her for sharing her thoughts about next steps. The interview is a two-part series. Part 2 will post this Wednesday. Come back to learn more because the wisdom she shares is too good to miss. Before we begin, here’s some background about Yota.

Yota Schneider is a life transitions coach working with people who want to explore the hidden gifts and opportunities of change in their lives. Her approach is inspiring, practical, and empowering. As a Seasons of Change certified Master Coach and a mindfulness meditation practitioner, Yota uses a variety of tools and strategies to help her clients overcome self-doubt, gain a new perspective on life’s ups and downs, and make decisions and choices that are fueled by greater clarity and a renewed sense of purpose. You can connect with her on Twitter, Facebook, or her website.

Linda:  You are a Seasons of Change certified Master Coach and expert on helping others figure out their next step. What are the key ingredients for making successful choices?

Yota:  Our choices depend on who we are at any given moment, our temperament and basic personality, what our priorities and aspirations are, where we stand on the continuum of our life and the influences we’re subjected to. What appears to be a successful choice today may not be such a great idea on a different day.

Like with everything else, we can only do the best we can. What does doing our best mean? It has to do with self-awareness, trust, timing, clarity, and refusal to settle for less than life has to offer.

We are not born knowing what successful choices look like. As we grow into our lives and gather experiences, we begin to understand that the only person we can really be is our self and the only life we can live is ours.

It takes time and inner work to come to know and appreciate who we are. Self-awareness helps us develop trust in our selves, skills, preferences and the forces that govern our lives. Over time we learn to act despite our fears and not settle for less.

Having developed self-awareness and trust opens us up to possibilities and the sheer potentiality that surrounds us. Once we begin to see possibilities and open up to a new way of being, it’s only a matter of time before it all falls into place.

That’s when inspiration and insights begin to flow. Doors begin to open for our allies to walk through and stand by our side. Our inner guidance system becomes fully operational and we begin to see clearly as the map is being laid out. At this point, our job is to hold on to our vision and put one foot in front of the other.

Having said that, I am well aware that there are no guarantees. There are things about our lives that we can’t explain or fully comprehend. There’s always the X Factor, something that intervenes and sends us on a detour. Yet, if we listen to people who have completed their detour and come back full circle, we hear them say that it was all worth it.

Our life is the sum of our experiences and choices. No matter how we interpret our experiences, they become indispensable components of the landscape of our lives.

Have you ever wondered: “Would your life be what it is today if you hadn’t traveled the path that was laid in front of you?”

Linda:  What if you aren’t sure what “next” looks like?

Yota:  When change happens, whether it’s perceived as good or bad, expected or unexpected, wished for or unwanted, we inevitably encounter uncharted territory. There’s a gap between what changed and what is going to be that’s filled with uncertainty, doubt, lack of clarity and fear of the unknown.

Change brings along the opportunity for growth, only growth doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time for the process of transition to come full circle. The timing and pace of it are personal and different for each one of us.

Most of us have not been taught and encouraged to be comfortable with uncertainty. Yet, this is exactly what we must do as we enter the “waiting” period. This time of “not knowing” is when so much is happening under the surface. Everything is being shaped in the dark room of creation. Our assignment is to stay put, do what we must, take good care of ourselves, honor our needs and go with the flow of our transition.

If you aren’t sure what “next” looks like, then you have to accept and honor this uncertainty, for now. Take care of your immediate needs, listen carefully to what your inner voice is saying, spend time alone and in nature, and engage in activities that nurture you and inspire you.

This can be a time of clearing out what doesn’t serve your life anymore and making room for the new. This is a good time to trust your intuition and be kind to yourself. If something doesn’t feel right, let it go. Surround yourself with people who understand what you’re going through and respect your process.

Above all, understand that this stage is a valuable part of the process of transition and it will not last forever. You’re not alone. Don’t let fear decide for you.

In due time, you’ll begin to sense your energy shifting and things begin to come alive again. You’ll begin to get glimpses, insights and inspiration. It is at this point, that you can begin to shift your focus to asking “What if...” questions and, as you do your homework, you’ll become clearer on what needs to be done, you’ll begin to build momentum, and before you know it, you’ll be on your way, once again.

Come join the conversation. Share your thoughts or questions about next steps. I invite you to stop back tomorrow for Part 2 of Yota’s interview when she shares more ideas about next steps and talks about why we get stuck and have difficulty moving forward.

John Ryan, The Life Change NetworkChange expert, John Ryan shares more perspectives about change in this two-part interview. In Part 1, John talked with me about many things including successfully navigating and choosing the meaning of change. The conversation continues as he shares more insights with us. Before we begin, here’s some background about John.

John Ryan, MBA, MSW, PhD is the co-founder of The Life Change Network and creator of The 7% Solution.  He is a professional speaker who provides consulting and coaching to individuals and organizations throughout the world. You can connect with him on Twitter, Facebook or his website.

Linda: What has been your biggest personal challenge around change?

John: The biggest challenge for me in relation to change also happens to be a challenge that I believe most of us struggle with and that is identifying what we need to change, when we should change it, and how should we change it.

When we do anything in life, we do the best we can with what we have.  And so if we’re not producing the results we want, what we’re doing is not good enough. But how do you know what to change, when to change it, and how to change it? 

Those questions are huge.  And if we don’t know the answers to those questions, we don’t change.  We simply keep doing the same thing over and over hoping for a different result, which of course, never comes.

And this is why it is so crucial to have a coach.  All top performers have coaches and mentors, someone to give them feedback. It is hard to give yourself feedback because we can’t see things the same way an outside observer does because we’re too close. 

With all the education and training that I’ve been through, I can tell you that the biggest return on investment has always been from my coaches.  I can look at success in different areas of my life and attribute it to the coaches that I’ve worked with because the results from coaching are that immediate and profound. 

And the reason coaching is so effective is because coaches help you identify what to change, when to change it, and how to change it.  And those three issues relate back to what we talked about in Part 1: strategy, desire, and resources.  The strategy is the what, the desire affects when, and the resources are the how.

If you start a business and you’ve never started a business before, it makes sense to find someone who has been through that process successfully.  What was their blueprint?   What was their strategy?  Learn from their experience and you can accelerate your results. 

“Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.”                

- Eleanor Roosevelt

This really is the core of The 7% Solution which is what I teach through my training and coaching.  What is it that the top 7% of performers do that the bottom 93% don’t?  What is the difference that makes the difference?

When to change is really controlled by our desire.  As you mentioned, people can either embrace change or fear it.  And to some degree, we all have a little of both inside of us. 

And this conflict creates hesitation.  So we put off following our dreams, we put off going for it 100%.  A good coach will assist you in resolving that conflict so that we get out of our own way and start laying the foundation for success.

How to make a change is largely impacted by your resources too.  I’m not just referring to money, although that certainly can help.  A resource is anything that can assist you in accomplishing a goal. 

Having someone to bounce ideas off of can be a resource.  Experience is a resource.  Coaches are a resource.  And coaches assist you not only in making changes but also hold you accountable for those changes so that you stay the course and don’t get sucked back into the old habits that were not producing the results.

So the biggest challenge around change is knowing what to change, when to change it, and how to change it.  And although I’m constantly working on developing my own awareness of what’s working and what’s not working, I typically use coaches, and I have a few in several areas of my life, to give me the feedback that I need.

Linda: What is the most surprising discovery about change?

John: The most surprising discovery about change is that it doesn’t have to be hard.  We make it hard.  We hold onto our beliefs, we hold onto our behaviors because they have worked for us in the past.   And since they worked in the past, we’re confident that they’ll work for us in the future.

Unfortunately, the present and the future are different from the past. So what worked then is not necessarily going to work now.  Again, why we resist the change is because of the security issue.  We do XYZ to be successful, it works, and we think to ourselves, “Yes, I’ve got it figured out.” And then we hold onto that pattern for as long as we can.

If we can begin to let go of the safety of the past and understand that the only safety is the ability to adapt to the present, then we truly can find safety and security in the notion that we can adapt to and overcome anything.

Linda: Is there anything you’d like to share about change that I haven’t asked?

John: One thing that I always want the people I work with to know is that we have two choices in life.  We can either be at cause or we can be at effect.

Being at cause means that you are responsible for your life.  Being at effect means that you are not responsible for your life and that everything that happens to you is out of your control.  That’s it.  Those are the two choices we have.

And where we choose to fall has a big impact on the results we produce and our overall quality of life.  Let’s say you are planning a big company outing that is going to be outdoors to celebrate your employees.  The forecast is calling for rain.  What do you do?

Well, you could shake your fists at the heavens and cancel the event which is being at effect or you could get a large tent, buy a bunch of ponchos, or move it indoors which are examples of being at cause.  We can’t control the weather but we can control our response to it. 

Or if we really want to have some fun, perhaps you could get a really big slip-n-slide!  Think about it, when was the last time you jumped into a puddle?  Did you ever do that when you were little?  Back then rain was fun.  But now, rain makes you wet and cold, messes up your hair, etc.

And that’s really what we get to do in life.  We have two choices. We can run from the rain or we can jump in the puddle and splash around. 

Thank you, John for your invaluable thoughts about change. I invite all of you to join us as we continue the conversation about change. What are your thoughts or questions about change?

John Ryan, The Life Change NetworkIn line with our February theme about, change, I’ve launched a new monthly feature called, “Ask the Expert.” I’ll be interviewing industry leaders who will share their insights and wisdom with you. You’ll have the opportunity to learn from and interact with the best of the best.

My gratitude and thanks goes to John Ryan, change expert extraordinaire, for being my first guest. He was so generous with his answers that I’m sharing the interview as a two-part series. Part 2 will post tomorrow. Come back to learn more because the wisdom he shares is too good to miss. Before we begin, here’s some background about John.

John Ryan, MBA, MSW, PhD is the co-founder of The Life Change Network and creator of The 7% Solution.  He is a professional speaker who provides consulting and coaching to individuals and organizations throughout the world. You can connect with him on Twitter, Facebook or his website.

Linda: You’re an expert on helping others successfully navigate change. What are the key ingredients for success?

John: Great question.  As we all know, change is guaranteed, success is not.  So what can we do to make sure that we create the change that we desire?  While there certainly are a lot of factors that impact our ability to navigate change, the three most important are what I refer to as the 3 Building Blocks of Success. 

1. The first building block is Strategy.  If you decide that you want to build a house, one of the first things you need is a blueprint, your plan for getting it done.  So, you have to have the right strategy. 

In life, part of that is figuring out where it is you want to go.  What is your outcome?  That must be the first question we ask ourselves when faced with change.  Either we have a plan, or someone else has a plan for us.  It is clearly much more empowering when we are in control because we’ve formulated our strategy.

2. While knowing what to do is important, it’s not enough.  You must also have the second building block of Desire. We have to have desire.  We have to want things to be different.  Otherwise, nothing will change. 

We may know exactly what we need to do to create the success that we want but if we don’t have enough desire, we hold ourselves back, we never get off the couch, and we never really go for what we want.  So we have to have desire.

3. The third piece is Resources.  Even if we have the right strategy and we have a strong desire, you can’t build a house if you don’t have the tools, the lumber, or the lot!

Those are the building blocks: Strategy, Desire, and Resources.  But the piece that binds them together is the mortar, which is Action.  Even if we have the right Strategy, Desire, and Resources, none of those matters unless you take action.

Those really are the keys to success in change and in life.  In fact, life is change and the greater our ability to identify our goals, connect to our desire, and use and acquire the tools we need to accomplish our goals, the better able we are to accomplish any goal.

Linda: What are some of the reasons we are challenged with making the changes that we desire?

John: One of the main reasons that we don’t make the changes we desire, even if we know the change will be good for us, is fear.  We are hardwired to resist change.  One of our core needs is consistency.  Consistency gives us safety.  When we start making changes, it messes up the status quo and it is not our conscious mind that has the problem, it is our unconscious.

If you’ve ever tried to “get healthy” you know exactly what I’m talking about.  Consciously, we know we should eat healthy, drink more water, and exercise.  And so we start on a new diet or workout routine and we actually start to feel better.  We say to ourselves, “Hey, this isn’t so bad, I can do this.”  We say that consciously, but our unconscious mind isn’t excited about these changes at all.

One of the main functions of the unconscious mind is to protect the body.  Well, then why would it resist being healthy?  The answer is that it doesn’t know any better.  The unconscious mind thinks that everything you’ve done in your life thus far has kept you alive so it wants you to keep doing that since it is what has worked so far.  But, this new “healthy” stuff, that’ll kill ya!

So what happens is we have conflict.  We consciously want one thing and our unconscious wants another.  Guess who’s going to win?  That’s right….our unconscious mind because it is a lot more powerful than our conscious mind.  You’ve heard that we only use 10% of our brain’s power. That is referring to our conscious mind.  The other 90% is our unconscious mind.

So until we change our unconscious mind, we will struggle with change, even if we know it is good for us.

Linda: Why do some of us embrace change while others fear it?

John: The “why” of anything usually goes back to childhood.  Most of our mental programs are established by the time we are seven years old.  That is the imprint phase where we absorb thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs from our environment without question.  It isn’t until we hit our teenage years that we begin to question our environment and think for ourselves. The problem is, the patterns are already well established. 

Our attitudes toward change really come from those patterns that were created early on in life.  But that doesn’t mean that we can’t change our attitude.

While the patterns we learn early in life affect our baseline attitude toward change, we can decide for ourselves what a particular change means to us. And there lies the power.

Change is neither good nor bad, it just is.  It is the judgment that we make about the change that determines whether it is good or bad.  What does the change mean to us?  How is this going to impact me and those I care about?

While all change involves loss, if only a loss of the way things used to be, some losses are more emotionally significant than others.  Loss of a job has huge repercussions.  Loss of a loved one has even more.

And certainly there is pain there but what you do after that is a choice that we have.  If you lose your job, you are forced into a choice about what to do next. Do you take the first job you can find or do you take the opportunity to start the business that you’ve always dreamed of doing?  Or perhaps you can use it to find the job you’ve always wanted. 

Understand, the loss of a job threatens the consistency and safety that we talked about earlier.  So there is going to be some fear there but we can choose what we want to focus on.  By focusing on what you want, you can turn that loss into a meaningful event that makes us stronger. 

We’ve all been through things in life that we didn’t know how we were going to make it but we did. And we can draw on that experience to keep us forging through life’s greatest challenges.

Now, on the extreme end of change is loss of a loved one.  And nothing is more difficult than this type of change.  And it is very hard finding meaning, especially when it is untimely.  And many people never find meaning in that loss and that is okay.  Sometimes we carry around that pain and it never makes sense.  That is our choice.

Other times, people take that loss and they turn it into something else.  We’ve all heard of the Susan G. Komen Foundation, which is the breast cancer foundation.  Susan Komen’s untimely death at age 36 due to breast cancer inspired her sister to start the foundation so that other patients wouldn’t have the same result.  That is creating meaning from loss.

Part of our inspiration for creating The Life Change Network was the loss of my mom, Diana Ryan.  She also died of cancer and out of that loss, my wife, Deana, and I decided to create the community so that others going through change wouldn’t be alone and could get the help they need. 

Whether you’ve lost a loved one, lost a job, are getting married, or starting a new business, these changes cause stress and it helps to connect with professionals and like-minded individuals who can guide you through it.

So whether we embrace change or fear it depends on the meaning we associate to it.  The power comes in realizing that we can choose what the change means to us.  And that makes all the difference in the world.

Come join the conversation. Share your thoughts or questions about change. I invite you to stop back tomorrow for Part 2 of John’s interview when he shares more ideas about change.