Posts tagged choices
How to Create Your Happy Life Balance Using Circles of Influence & Control

A while back, I received an email from Soren Gordhamer, an entrepreneur and founder of the Wisdom 2.0 Conference. He wrote,

“Two things are pretty clear:

 We have limited heartbeats in this life.

 And

 We never know when our last heartbeat will be.”

If that’s not a call to be intentional and focus on what matters most, I don’t know what is. When thinking about creating a better, happier life balance, framing it in the context of our limited time can help.

Are you spending time and emotional energy on things that are within or out of your control? Are you stressing about ‘what ifs, shoulds, and if only?’  Or are you focused on those things that are doable, bring you joy, and make life flow better?

You have choices, which is a good thing.

 

  

Circles of Influence and Control

This idea of limited time connects to another concept I was recently reminded of in To Do – 41 Tools to Start, Stick With, and Finish Things by Mikael Krogerus and Roman Tshchappeler.

They shared a Steven Covey concept from his classic book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It is the“circles of influence and control” technique to “help whenever we feel ineffectual, powerless or frustrated.” It’s also an excellent exercise for infusing better balance and focus into your days.

 

How to Create Your Circles – What You Can and Can’t Change

As the illustration below shows, draw three concentric circles.

1. Outer: Circle of Concern

  • Anything you have no control over belongs in the “concern” circle.

  • List several “things that bother you but you can’t do anything about.” Examples include:

    • Past events

    • The political climate

    • Natural disasters

    • Other people’s flaws

 

2. Center: Circle of Control

  • List several things you have agency over. These could be:

    • What you eat

    • Amount of sleep you get

    • People you hang out with

    • Amount of organization you have

    • Books you read

    • Movies you watch

  • Some might seem trivial, but they significantly influence our lives. Add these to your “control” list.

There’s immense power in knowing which things in our lives we can and can’t control.
— Mikael Krogerus and Roman Tschappeler

3. Middle: Circle of Influence

  • Include here things that aren’t in your control, yet you might be able to influence through your attitude or behavior. For example,

    • It’s impossible to “single-handedly avert climate change, but you can do something about it by living sustainably.”

    • You cannot “change your genes, but you can exercise regularly and eat more healthfully.”

    • You have no power over circle of concern events. However, you can influence or change your reaction to them.

 

 

How Does This Exercise Help?

The more you focus on those things you have no control over (circle of concern), the “more helpless and ineffectual you’ll feel.” However, when you focus on what is within your control (circle of influence and circle of control,) “the more confident and less anxious you’ll be.”

This exercise can heighten your awareness of how you’re spending your precious time. Focusing on areas you have agency and influence over can tip the balance in a more positive direction.

 

 

A Balanced Life Approach

You only go around once. How can you balance your days to include those things within your control and influence? What can you improve? What can you let go of?  I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

Do you want help decluttering, organizing, planning, or finding a right balance for you? I’d love to help and I’m here for you. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – A local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization, balance, and ease are possible, especially with support.

 
 
New Exciting Bedroom Fun Look Transformation: From Possibility to Reality

It’s a funny thing about possibilities. Dreaming and imagining are part of a possibility-thinking process. Simultaneously, angst, ambivalence, or uncertainty can also be present. Why is that?

You understand and live your current reality. It may not be how you want it, but it’s familiar. Thinking about alternatives can be thrilling, anxiety-producing, or scary. Change requires time, attention, and resources, which you might or might not have.

Something happened to me recently. Who knew a seemingly simple guest bedroom renovation and organizing project would be such an emotional, satisfying, liberating, and poignant experience?

For years, I wanted to reimagine our guest bedroom. Initially, the room was my art studio and office. After our first daughter, Allison, was born, it became her bedroom. When her sister, Cassie, was born, it became their shared space, “the girls’ room.” Fast-forward to them leaving for college, and it turned into a guest room. However, while I made a few minor changes after they left, I never altered the wall colors, window treatments, or closet.

The girls said, “Mom, you can change the room any way you want. It’s OK.” They repeated this message to me for years. The kids had moved on and kept encouraging me to, too. However, part of me wasn’t ready to let go of certain remnants of their living-at-home years. How could I paint over Allison’s murals or cover up the pencil growth chart markings? Also, I didn’t have the mental bandwidth to figure out how I wanted the room to be until now.

 

 


Possibilities Meet the Moment

What shifted? We had other home improvement projects happening, and I knew that the guest room’s time had come. My motivation to make this change was heightened. I didn’t want another year to pass without completing this goal. I was finally ready to turn possibilities into reality.

 

 

9 Phases of the Guest Bedroom Project

  • Imagine – Envision the possibilities. What do I want the room to look and feel like? How can I make it comfortable for guests and also include functional storage? What will the color scheme be? Can I refer to old vision boards or other visual inspiration sources?

  • Plan – Think through the process. How much time do I need to complete this project? Where can we (my husband, Steve, and I) carve out time in our schedule to work on this? How much of this project can we do ourselves? How much outside help do we need? Should we rip out and install a new closet interior or only paint the existing one?

  • Gather Resources – Identify vendors and resources. Which vendors can I use for painting and construction, purchasing blinds, framing, buying furniture, and redoing the closet? Which vendors are best for buying organizing containers and other products?

  • Budget – Determine the costs. What estimates do I need to get? What will different parts of the project cost (painting, furniture, headboard, bedding, blinds, closet, bins)? What is our overall budget?

  • Empty – Prepare the space for transformation. What must be removed from the room to prepare for painting and construction, and when can we empty it? How can I prepare emotionally for the temporary chaos and disruption?

  • Renovate – Do the work. How many days will the painter need to prepare, demo the closet, patch, and paint? After the room is painted and before we return the contents, when can Steve install the new Elfa® closet? When can Steve install the new window blinds?

  • Edit – Make decisions about room contents. Which items can I let go of by selling, donating, tossing, or giving away? Which things will return to the room? Which items need to be replaced? Which items belong elsewhere?

  • Organize – Return ‘keepers’ in an organized way. How will the contents be organized back into the room? Which items will need new storage containers? Do they need labels?

  • Finish – Complete the final touches. When will all furniture, lights, books, memorabilia, and games be returned to the room? Which bedding will I use? When can we hang the pictures, mount the wall hooks, and add the door stop? When will I consider the room done?

 

 

Emotional Surprises

When we emptied the room to prepare for the painter, I was surprised by how emotional I felt. I was physically handling boxes of the kiddos’ memorabilia, photo albums, books, games, and art. Touching, moving, and looking at objects from the past stirred up many emotions. I felt a powerful combination of gratitude, sadness, joy, and love.

I saw photos and objects from the past. Some images were of loved ones who are no longer alive. I looked at the kids’ art, writings, and school projects. I marveled at our detailed records of the milestones and everyday experiences. It was a journey of emotions as I reflected and remembered the beautiful years we spent raising our daughters.

Even when the room was empty, I could feel the love reverberating within its walls. Cherished memories traveled through time and space, which filled my heart and mind.

Bringing possibilities to fruition is gratifying.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Practicing Flexibility

During the project, I remained flexible about my options, which was helpful. When a room's contents are removed, many unanticipated things can happen. Gifting yourself the flexibility to make new or different choices is beneficial.

  • Closet – The closet required some thought. Do we paint the existing closet or rip it out to install a new one? It would cost more to have a new closet interior. However, time-wise, it seemed most practical to redo it now. Plus, we would gain more storage space.

  • Furniture – After emptying the room, we liked how spacious it felt with less. While we intended to return the desk, we realized it was unnecessary and took up too much space. I’m letting go of the desk.

  • Art – After emptying the room and painting the interior, Allison’s murals and other framed art were no longer visible. With blank walls, I reimagined the space. We decided to have more blank wall space and only hang a few pieces, including a new one. I printed and framed one of the landscape photos I had taken in the Finger Lakes.

  • Memorabilia – I texted the kiddos photos and asked what they wanted to keep. I respected their responses and either let go or kept things accordingly. I also shared several pictures of their projects, writings, and other memorabilia I thought they’d get a kick out of seeing.

 

 

9 Lessons Learned

  • Imagining possibilities is fun and creative.

  • Bringing possibilities to fruition is gratifying.

  • Change is refreshing.

  • Change encourages more change.

  • Emptying one room sparked a reimagining, tweaking, and reorganizing of other areas, such as the pantry and our bedroom.

  • Letting go of things that have overstayed their welcome is liberating.

  • Life has stages. Organizing your space for the phase you’re in is affirming.

  • Embrace gratitude for what was and what is.


The Bedroom Transformation Video


What’s Possible for You?

How does possibility thinking show up for you? What changes have you made or want to make? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Are you ready to get unstuck, plan a new project, or create new organizing systems? If so, I’m here to help. Please email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or schedule a Discovery Call. Moving forward is possible, especially with support.

 
 
How to Prompt One Helpful Ingredient to Encourage Change

You might wonder how baking cookies relate to encouraging change or getting organized. At first glance, they may seem unrelated. However, a funny thing happened recently, which is how I made the connection. I tested out a new cookie recipe from Amy Bowers, my friend who is a Health Coach. To ensure the best outcome, I used the specific ingredients she recommended, including almond butter, coconut sugar, and my favorite, dark chocolate chips.

A successful change journey also requires distinct ingredients. One, in particular, is crucial.



Essential Ingredient to Encourage Change

There are different types of change. Some changes we proactively seek, and some changes happen unexpectedly. There is an ingredient that is valuable for both. Successful change hinges on your choices and the decisions that follow.

Choice and decisions are not one but two things. However, I see them as a connected unit, so I’m offering them as one helpful ingredient.

When you seek change, you desire something different. You may want to establish a new habit, create more organization, or design your next stage of life. Desiring is one thing. That aspect is crucial because it provides your motivation and why. But desire alone isn’t enough.

To encourage actual change, you have many choices. Recognizing those choices is crucial. Identifying them is the thought part. Pairing a choice with a decision is the action part. A dynamic choice-decision-making cycle is vital for change to occur.

 

The Ingredients Of Practice

Let’s return to my cookie-baking analogy.

The choices went something like this:

  • Is this recipe enticing enough to test, or not?

  • Is it a recipe I can make on my own, or not?

  • Do I have the ingredients, or will I have to buy some?

  • Do I have the time to bake the recipe today or sometime in the future?

Nothing would have changed if I stopped after asking those questions and didn’t move on to the decision-making phase. There would have been no baking, cookies, or new favorite recipes. However, curiosity led me to continue. I couldn’t stop thinking about the enticing cookie photo Amy posted on Instagram.

The decision-making cycle looked like this:

  • I carefully read the recipe and determined it was easy and well within my baking skills.

  • I had most, but not all, of the ingredients.

  • I looked at the time needed. It included going to the grocery store for the items I didn’t have, assembling the ingredients, and baking. I had the interest, ability, and time to test the recipe that day.

The cookies were baked, and they were incredibly delicious. They were so yummy that it was challenging to stop eating them. That’s a story for another day. If you want the recipe, email me at linda@ohsoorganized.com, and I’ll happily share it, or you can see Amy’s post for the details.

Successful change hinges on your choices and the decisions that follow.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

The Change You Seek

We’re in the second month of this new year. What changes are you working on? How are they going? Are you noticing your choices, making decisions, and taking action? Are you moving forward on your own or enlisting help?

Change happens when you repeatedly identify the choices, make decisions, and take action. You can bring about the change you crave through questioning, doing, readjusting, and staying curious.

If you want assistance with any part of the change process, I’d love to help. Please email me at linda@ohsoorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or click here to schedule a Discovery Call. Change is possible, especially with support.

 
Here Are Today's Most Interesting and Best Fresh Start Discoveries - v43

This is the newest release (v43) of the “What’s Interesting?” feature, with my latest finds that inform, educate, and relate to organizing and life balance. These unique, inspiring, fresh start discoveries reflect this month’s blog theme.

You are a passionate, generous, and engaged group. I am deeply grateful for your ongoing presence, positive energy, and contributions to this community. I look forward to your participation and additions to the collection I’ve sourced.

What do you find interesting?

 



What’s Interesting? – 5 Best Fresh Start Discoveries

1. Interesting Workshop – Clutter-Free Fresh Start

Do you feel overwhelmed with the clutter and disorganization in your life? If you answered “yes,” you’re not alone. Help is here! The New Year is an excellent time to change how you approach decluttering and organization.

Join me, Linda Samuels, Professional Organizer, for an empowering workshop – My Simple Organizing Plan, on Thursday, February 8th, from 7:00-8:00 pm Eastern. Together, we’ll uncover the impact of clutter, master motivation, and create a personal decluttering plan.

During this one-hour Zoom workshop, you’ll come away with a transformative, ready-to-implement strategy to make immediate positive changes in your life. Say goodbye to chaos and hello to a calmer, organized you. Reserve your spot now!

 

 

2. Interesting Trend – Immersive Fresh Start

Color drenching is a design trend that has emerged in recent years. Amy Wax, an internationally recognized color expert, describes a color-drenched interior as “designed with one color in mind, and that color doesn’t just coat the walls…it’s everywhere…a real color-drenched interior means that the ceiling, trim, railings, doors, and sometimes even the floor all have the same color.”

Are you wondering about the connection between the color-drenching trend and a fresh start? I thought you might. Words describing this trend include daring, saturated, adventurous, all-consuming, harmonizing, sensual, and calming. As you begin this New Year and embrace your fresh start, which words speak to you? Do you want more adventures and boldness, or would you like more calm and harmony? Select a theme to ‘drench’ your year that can be a guiding force for your choices and goals. What color or word speaks to you?

 

 

3. Interesting Read – Peaceful Fresh Start

Do you desire a more peaceful, calmer life? We now have 24-7 access to people, places, and things. Life has become complicated, noisy, and distracting.  

A Simpler Life – A Guide to Greater Serenity, Ease and Clarity by The School of Life provides a path to “the simpler lives we crave and deserve.” We’re at an unusual juncture where the yearning for simplicity is historically reasonably new. “We long to unburden ourselves of excess, to have more straightforward relationships, to declutter our homes, and to avoid noise, complexity, and fuss. Simplicity has grown central to our vision of happiness.”

The book focuses on five areas to simplify- relationships, social life, lifestyle, work, and culture. If your fresh start includes the desire to release the excess, you’ll appreciate the suggestions explored. “Simplicity isn’t so much a life with a few things and commitments in it, as a life with the right, necessary things, attuned to our flourishing. Our lives will feel – and be – simpler when we’ve probed our minds to yield…the knowledge of what we truly want.”

 

Your fresh start is ready for you to lean in, activate, and thrive.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

 

4. Interesting Product – Focused Fresh Start

During a session with one of my virtual organizing clients, she showed me an adorable gift she purchased for the holidays. Toast is marketed as a night light. However, she and a few of her friends use it differently. They turn it on to help them focus when working. It has a warm, dimmable glow, an adjustable timer, and a ‘friendly’ face.

I couldn’t resist, so I purchased a mint green one to see if it would help me. To my delight, it does. As a matter of fact, while writing this post, I brought my Toast nearby to keep me company and hold my attention. I didn’t use the timer feature, but I found the gentle light worked for me.

Check out this little fellow if you want your fresh start to include more focused work and improved concentration.

 

 

5. Interesting Thought – Promising Fresh Start


What is the best thing about the New Year? It allows you to reset, rethink, and reimagine how you want the next twelve months to be. If you want to make tiny tweaks or strive for those big, audacious goals, you have the spaciousness to make things happen. Let go of what doesn’t work, learn from your mishaps, and activate the hope-filled ‘blank canvas’ the New Year brings. Your fresh start is ready for you to lean in, activate, and thrive.



Do you have an interesting, fresh start-related discovery? Which of these resonates with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Here’s to you and a happy, healthy, joy-filled, and organized New Year!