There are times when life goes sideways. The unthinkable happens, and you feel you have no control over anything. Your mood is dark, and hope is barely accessible. Cognitively, you understand there are no guarantees in life and that chaos is present. Yet, how do you cope? What can you do when nothing makes sense, and things feel out of control?

I don’t pretend to have the answers or know what you’re experiencing. I’m navigating this challenging time, too. Yet, I have a few strategies that are helping me, which might be helpful to you.

Instead of focusing on the areas you have no control over, shift your attention. Identify and engage in what is nourishing and within your control.

5 Courageous Coping Strategies When Life Feels Out of Control

1. Supercharge Your Self-Care

Take care of yourself. During stressful times, you might ignore the basics. However, doing that makes you feel worse and less able to cope with challenges.

Recommit to self-care basics. Get enough sleep, hydrate, eat nutritiously, and move your body. Walking in nature has additional mood-boosting benefits.

Beyond essential self-care, consider getting a massage, manicure, or pedicure. Or how about taking a yoga, exercise, or meditation class?

Be kind to yourself and engage in intentional, mood-enhancing activities within your control.

“Recommit to self-care basics.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

 2. Engage With Your Community

You might want to retreat when feeling out of sorts. However, I encourage you to do the opposite. Reach out to those who are also feeling ‘it.’ You’re not alone.

Your friends and family may be struggling, too. Connect with your loved ones. Pool your strengths while offering and receiving support.

3. Curate the Input

Scrolling social media, listening to the news, and fueling the fire may not be the healthiest choice. Cut yourself off (even if temporarily) when the external input you’re allowing adds to those out-of-control feelings.

Just as I encouraged you to eat nutritious foods to nourish your body, do something similar for your mind. Curate the input to minimize anxiety-producing thoughts and maximize ones with a more positive effect.

This could be a great time to read that new book or your favorite magazine from cover to cover. Or maybe you prefer to watch a comedy show or movie.

I’m not suggesting you ignore the outside world forever, but for this day, while building your resilience, choose to disengage with stress-inducing news. Control the input.

“Identify and engage in what is nourishing and within your control.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

4. Make Something

There is a gift in making something from nothing. What kind of something? Maybe you like to bake, write blog posts or in journals, take photographs, write poetry, or knit scarves. Perhaps you want to paint, write music, do a craft project, or create fancy cocktails.

Take control of a joy-inducing physical activity and make something. Enjoy the process and the result.

I’ve already journaled and worked on this post. Guess what else I did? I baked (and ate) some Almond Butter Chocolate Chip cookies. Fortunately, these cookies are not only delicious but also nutritious. I just have to remember to eat them in moderation. Wish me luck.

5. Declutter Your Space

Physical disorganization and chaos in your environment can affect how you feel and function. The disarray adds to a feeling of lack of control. You don’t know where things are or have the mind space to focus.

There is mood-boosting power in decluttering and organizing. The act of doing, making a change, and then experiencing the benefits of that shift is palpable.

You can’t control everything, but you can improve your corner of the world (or desk).

Human Coping Skills

Remember, you are resilient, and you have people to lean on. To help navigate challenging times, exert control in tiny yet significant ways. This won’t change everything, but it will help to calm and ground you. What coping strategies do you use when life feels chaotic?

If you need help decluttering, organizing, planning, or grounding, I’m here for you. Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.

What becomes possible when you get organized enough? Will you suffer less? Will your mental health and well-being improve due to better organization and flow?

For over 30 years, I have been a professional organizer, helping overwhelmed individuals challenged by disorganization get unstuck and organized.

I’ve observed a direct correlation between disorganization and distress. Creating order in the areas within your control significantly improves your external and internal state of being.

Recently, I had the joy of speaking with John Burton, a singer, songwriter, author, and host of the Home From Here podcast. John is fascinated by the intersection of organization and mental health, and he invited me to talk about that and much more on his show.

I invite you to listen to the podcast, episode 193, to hear the entire conversation. You might even discover a few surprising personal details, such as how I start my day, what my household was like growing up, and my favorite color. Although, I bet you can guess that last one even without listening to the podcast. You all know me so well.

Read about these three ideas I featured from our conversation about organization and well-being, and enjoy the podcast, too.

Home From Here - Episode 193 - John Burton with guest Linda Samuels

3 Ways Getting Organized Reduces Suffering and Improves Your Well-Being

1. “Organization made me feel better.”

John Burton, Home From Here podcast host with Linda Samuels - Episode 193

John noticed that organizing specific areas of his life made him feel better. You can learn more about his mental health journey from our conversation. One of the things he mentioned was how life-changing it was to organize his time and habits, especially his morning routine. As John experienced, better organization enhanced his day’s flow and well-being. He “felt better.”

Many of my clients have mental health challenges, including depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and OCD. The organizing piece has been elusive. Often, the external chaos reflects what’s happening internally. Through our work, I see a positive shift as we remove the disorganization blockages, create manageable systems, and focus on being “organized enough.” It’s not about perfection but about organizing in a way that helps you live with more ease.

What will be possible as you feel better?

2. “If I could only get it all done, life would be perfect.”

John asked me about the “trick” to time management. There are many different philosophies about managing yourself and your time, and there isn’t one definitive trick. However, I’ll share two significant principles of time management.

The first thing to understand about time management is acknowledging that you’ll never get it all done. And just so you know, I say those words as someone who is highly optimistic. People often think life would be perfect if you could “only get it all done.”

Whether your to-do list is in your head, on paper, or on an electronic list, as soon as you cross off a completed task, a new item appears. That’s the human condition. If you’re alive, you will have things to get done.

Even when your list is overflowing, I encourage you to embrace opportunities for joy and delight and let go of perfection. As John said, “If you can accept imperfection, stress goes way down.”

The second time management concept is about clarifying your priorities. Focus on aligning your priorities with what you spend time on. In addition, not all tasks will be related to things you’re passionate about. There are life management responsibilities like doing laundry, getting groceries, showering, or paying bills. Those might not excite you, but they are a necessary part of living.

Does all or most of your time go to life maintenance? Is little to no time reserved for your passions or priorities? If so, looking at where your time is going and making some adjustments is helpful.

What becomes possible when your priorities are clarified?

“If you can accept imperfection, stress goes way down.”

— John Burton

3. “I can see a path forward.”

John and I discussed virtual organizing and how I typically have 60-minute Zoom sessions with my clients. My goal is to help them get unstuck enough to take action, make progress, and feel better.

At the beginning of a session, clients might feel overwhelmed, discouraged, or hopeless. By the end of the hour, they’ve experienced progress (a physical change, perspective shift, or new system) and can see possibilities.

We take baby steps that boost confidence and agency. Progress happens during and between the organizing sessions. Clients learn organizational skills and how to integrate them into their busy lives.

 What will be possible as you clear your path?

What is Possible?

Toward the end of our conversation, John said he was “struck” by “the amount of reducing suffering” I’m doing.

Life has hiccups and stress. I am passionate about helping my clients get unstuck, make progress, live with more ease, and feel better. Getting organized enough, letting go of perfection, shifting perspectives, and focusing on priorities can make a significant difference. What is possible for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Are you ready to get unstuck, organize, and improve your well-being? If so, I’m here to help. Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Turning possibilities into reality is achievable, especially with support.

Spring is arriving, and this season often inspires hope-infused feelings. However, we can get stuck even during this joyous time. Have you ever felt stuck? When that happens, do you find figuring out your next step challenging? If so, you’re not alone. Grief, life transitions, negative self-talk, fear, procrastination, exhaustion, overwhelm, and lack of information or expertise can prevent forward movement. Next feels elusive.

When I have too many next steps, I get overwhelmed. Instead of doing something, I ruminate about everything I want and need to do. Guess what? I become stuck. Depending upon the situation, I might make a list or chart, talk with a trusted friend, take a walk, or write in my journal. From there, I will take a tiny, doable action step. It’s enough to get me unstuck, build momentum, and journey forward.

Does this sound familiar? If so, you’re going to love what follows. As you’re about to discover, there is power and relief in planning, listening, reframing, and breathing.

I invited an outstanding group of colleagues to share their personal experiences with you. They describe being stuck and the next step that helped them get unstuck. These generous friends include Alison Nissen, Christine Li, Deb Lee, Diane Quintana, Ellen Delap, Jocelyn Kenner, Jonda Beattie, Julie Bestry, Lana Kitcher, Marcy Stoudt, Sabrina Quairoli, Seana Turner and Yota Schneider.

My deepest gratitude goes to this inspiring group for sharing their time, hearts, and wisdom with us. I asked them to respond to and elaborate on this prompt . . .

Describe a time you felt stuck and the next step you took to move forward.

 13 Remarkable Pros Share How They Make Their Next Step When Stuck

 1. Next Step:  Breathe

“When I get too much in my head, it usually results in feeling stuck. I’m vulnerable when I lounge in bed too long in the morning, dozing in and out of sleep. When this happens, I become captive to swirling thoughts, the effect of which is mental quicksand – the ultimate feeling of being stuck.

I escape the mental quicksand by taking a few deep, cleansing breaths, then thinking about one or more things I am profoundly grateful for and creating a positive affirmation for the day ahead. This resets me, and I can move forward with lightness and positivity.

Jocelyn Kenner – Coach & Professional Organizer

2. Next Step:  Plan

“I was losing track of my next steps required by the many projects in which I am involved and also of things I wanted to do for myself & my two businesses.  I did two things. I created a weekly plan of the things I wanted to do day by day for my businesses & projects, which I put inside my planner. Then I decided to use the whiteboard in my office to list the tasks for the current day. Doing these two things has helped me get myself back in action and feeling in control.” 

Diane Quintana, ICD Master Trainer, CPO-CD®, CPO® – Professional Organizer, Author, Blogger

3. Next Step:  Reflect

“In 2012, due to family emergencies and having to travel overseas to care for loved ones, I put my coaching practice on hiatus. Life took its course. Late fall of 2019, I felt the pull and began to contemplate launching my practice again. As I revisited my services and website, I realized that something had changed. I did not want to begin again where I had left off. I had to rethink how I wanted to work with people. I let go of the past, hit pause, and let inspiration come find me. For a good two months, I reflected, wrote, and explored possibilities. At the end of that period, The Art of New Beginnings was born.”

Yota Schneider, Certified Seasons of Change® Master Coach – Life Coach, Retreats Facilitator, Blogger

4. Next Step:  Change Viewpoint

“‘Alison, that's not how we do it,’ the voice articulated. The words stung and left me upset.  

To stop the fear of becoming stuck when I'm distressed, I cross my eyes and look at my nose. Why, you ask? To remind myself that I can't always see what's right in front of me. 

This simple action prompts me to look at a situation from another viewpoint, one without heightened emotions. Irving Berlin once said, ‘Life is 10 percent what you make it and 90 percent how you take it.’ Standing back to gain perspective is a choice, and it's how I move forward when I'm feeling stuck.”

Alison Nissen, DTM – Co-Founder & Chief Story Officer of Revel Coach

5. Next Step:  Listen

“I recently felt stuck after the death of one of my parents. My next step was to pause to focus on my feelings and my family. And to listen for when my brain and heart were ready to start moving forward again. So I turned to my favorite listening activities: walking, cleaning, and organizing. They worked! While I'm not running full steam ahead, I'm in motion. Having my projects and ideas in Evernote made it easy to pick one to work on. Then, that one thing turned into three things. Interesting how it fueled fresh brain sparks. Just what I needed.”

Deb Lee, CPO® – Digital Productivity Coach and Consultant, Evernote Certified Expert

6. Next Step: Stay Open

“I went from teaching special education to becoming a lead teacher. I had high hopes. About a year into that stressful job, I knew that this job was not good for me. I knew I should retire. But I was frightened I would not be able to support myself and also anxious I would get sick if I stayed. I talked to people who had retired and to friends. Fate intervened, and I saw an article about Professional Organizers. I knew I had found my next career. Whenever I need support, I talk to people I trust.” 

Jonda S. Beattie, M.Ed – Professional Organizer, Author, Speaker


  

7. Next Step:  Write

“Knowing where to start when contemplating writing a new ebook for one of my blogs has been challenging. But, when I started to write down the points I wanted to make in the ebook, I found that the direction and details came more naturally. Writing things down is how to clear the cloudy fog when stuck. It lightens my energy and allows me to see the steps.”

Sabrina M. Quairoli – Professional Organizer, Blogger 

“Sometimes you need outside help...to shake you out of a slump.”

— Lana Kitcher

 8. Next Step:  Check-In

“I love creating content, but perfectionist procrastination over choosing technology sometimes paralyzes my moving from idea to implementation. Once research stops yielding new information, I turn to others for a reality check and catalyst. Years ago, unable to pick a newsletter service, I presented my research and dilemma to a colleague. She encouraged me to pick a particular free trial but also reminded me that whatever I chose, I could always transfer to a different service later — I only had to commit long enough to make forward momentum. You can't edit a blank page; you can't evaluate an untaken step.”

Julie Bestry, CPO® – Certified Professional Organizer, Productivity Specialist, Author, Blogger

9. Next Step:  Wander

“When my mind is on a negative repeat loop, and I feel stuck, I love to remove mental clutter. Here's how:

1. Go outside without any technology and allow your mind to wander.

2. Once you feel a slight separation from the problem, consider the situation and list everything in and out of your control.

3. Create two to-do lists: 

                        List 1: What actions can you take to move forward? 

                        List 2: What worries or items are out of your control? Place these on "The Universe's To-Do List." 

Taking action is an excellent step towards progress. But, when it's clutter-free - it's a giant leap.” 

Marcy Stoudt – CEO of Revel Coach, Founder of Nest by Revel

10. Next Step:  Redirect Energy

“I remember a time when I was serving as a volunteer on a committee for an organization that I loved. Over time, I found that my ideas were being discounted, disregarded, and ignored. I felt discouraged and stuck. I finally realized that I was not in control of this situation, and the only way I could move forward was to resign from the committee. I found another way to serve this organization on another committee that allowed me to contribute, and that brought me joy. It turns out my best option was to strike off in a new direction.”

Seana Turner – Professional Organizer, Blogger, Speaker

11. Next Step:  Build Team

“In creating an online time management printable for Etsy, I had done my best on Canva and added the final product to Etsy. It was not getting traction and lacked professional product appeal. After a few months, I asked a professional graphic designer to assist.  Right away, we partnered on design and marketing. My go-to strategy to get unstuck is to build a bigger team.”

Ellen Delap, CPO® – Certified Professional Organizer

 

12. Next Step:  Shift Mindset

“That period immediately after the birth of my second child, I was in bed, feeling happy but also wondering how I would break out of my long-held pattern of being very, very cluttered.  I happened to see a segment on a morning show featuring Marla Cilley, known as ‘The FlyLady,’ and I decided to order her book right then and there.  

It turned out her book, Sink Reflections, was a wonderful explanation of how even the most cluttered and distressed person can make a ‘comeback’ into a more orderly and organized existence.  It was a great help to me, but what was perhaps even more helpful was my own decision to make a change for the good of my family and myself.

I encourage anyone who might feel in a similar ‘stuck’ spot that there are so many options to try these days.  All you need to do is decide to make that shift!”

Dr. Christine Li – Clinical Psychologist, Procrastination Coach, Host of the Make Time for Success Podcast

13. Next Step:  Enlist Help

“I became a mom a year ago and was feeling very stuck in my circumstances and my mindset. I had made the decision to reduce my work to part-time and was feeling lost with the transition to motherhood while trying to run my own business as well as a household on many fewer hours and much less sleep. I knew I needed help adjusting, but I wasn't managing to get myself to that point. So I invested in myself by 1) working with Linda and 2) enrolling in a 6-week mindset program. Sometimes you need outside help, new perspectives, and something different to shake you out of a slump.”

Lana Kitcher – Productivity Coach, Small Business Consultant

What was the circumstance last time you felt stuck? What next step moved you forward? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

If you feel stuck and want a thought partner, I’m here to help. I love supporting my clients to move forward. Contact me at linda@ohsoorganized.com, 914-271-5643, or click the purple “How Can I Help?” button below.

The newest release (v39) of the “What’s Interesting?” feature has my latest finds, which inform, educate, and relate to organizing and life balance. These unique, inspiring, embracing change discoveries reflect this month’s blog theme.

You are a generous, communicative, and engaged group. I am deeply grateful for your ongoing presence, positive energy, and contributions to this community. I look forward to your participation and additions to the collection I’ve sourced.

What do you find interesting?

What’s Interesting? – 5 Best Embracing Change Discoveries

1. Interesting Read – Life Change

Do you want more happiness in your life? In The Fun Habit – How the Pursuit of Joy and Wonder Can Change Your Life, behavioral scientist, organizational psychologist, and author Mike Rucker, Ph.D., shares how happiness is a state of mind which can feel elusive and dependent upon your circumstance. Yet fun is action-oriented and something within your control. He says, “In contrast to happiness, I’ve come to learn fun is less think and more do. You’re either having fun or you’re not.”

Backed by research and personal experiences, Mike shares ways to be intentional about fun. While he is not opposed to striving, he says, “instead of auditing your calendar for productivity, audit it for fun.” Use the PLAY model to identify and sort activities based on their level of challenge and degree of fun. Create your “fun file” to document and prioritize your fun habit. This book is for you if you’re ready to change and add more delight to your life. Mike says, “We don’t get through life without enduring periods of disappointment, pain, and loss. Fun is the magical balm that makes the slings and arrows bearable.”

2. Interesting Perspective - Slow Change

Change can happen quickly, but more often, it occurs slowly after percolation and transition. During a recent talk, Todd Henry, author, speaker, and creative thinker, described “how ideas tend to come in seasons, not moments.” He started to say, “there is a slow emergence.” Instead, he accidentally combined the words and said, “there is a slowmergence.” A new phrase was born.

Todd further described slowmergence and said, “We tend to think that ideas are sudden clicks, or a-ha’s, but they more often emerge as networks and patterns over time until one inciting incident illuminates what’s been developing for days or weeks.”

I often see this with my clients when they are seeking change. While it might appear as if a change is happening suddenly, it usually has been simmering for a long time. There can be an “inciting incident,” as Todd mentions, that brings clarity and action.

“Fun is the magical balm that makes the slings and arrows bearable.”

— Mike Rucker, Ph.D.

3. Interesting Film – Navigate Change

Recently, I had the joy of privately screening Kate Schermerhorn’s incredible award-winning documentary film, Do I Need This? The film is about “American excess and the stuff from which happiness is truly made.” While the stats are compelling, with American homes containing an average of 300,000 objects, or 93% of Americans using their garages for storage, this film explores so much more.

Kate shares about the environmental impact of our stuff while weaving in her family’s story and personal experiences of acquiring and letting go. These themes are supported by interviews including the leading expert in Hoarding Disorder, Dr. Randy Frost, Plentitude author and economist Juliet Schor, and artists and environmental activists Judith Selby Lang and Richard Lang.

Change is another theme in the film. We witness shifts in relationships with people and their stuff. Dr. Frost recognizes how “possessions often have an essence for us.”  That “essence” can make it challenging to release. Kate said, “I just want to hold onto the past while simultaneously letting go.” This film is an honest, beautiful journey about openings for change and the impact of stuff on our lives and the planet.

4. Interesting Product – Easy Change

There are times while going through a change when you wish it were “easy” or “done already.” There’s nothing like adding some humor to a stressful situation. Knock Knock has a great way of infusing playfulness into their organizing products.

The I Just Want It All pad brings whimsy and order to task and change management. You can select the options quoted above along with the third choice, “dipped in chocolate,” and then list your things to do below. The bottom of the pad asks, “Is that so wrong?” I think not. Change can be challenging, but with this list, you’ll be able to focus with a smile.

5. Interesting Thought – Accept Change

Change can be messy and challenging. It involves doing new things, altering habits, reframing perspectives, and stepping outside your comfort zone. You will make mistakes, experience adversity, feel vulnerable, practice new skills, and test your patience. It’s normal to have some “oops” moments along the way. In fact, it’s a great sign which is a change indicator. Embrace the mistakes. They will bring growth, learning, and the changes you seek.

Do you have an interesting change discovery? Which of these resonates with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.