Laura Berman Fortgang

Laura Berman Fortgang, Now What?® CoachingThe “Ask the Expert” interview series features dynamic, inspiring leaders. This year, we’ve spoken with Judith Kolberg about change and Sue West about fresh starts. As we shift our focus this month, I’m thrilled to bring you a pioneer in the personal coaching field, Laura Berman Fortgang, to share her thoughts about next steps.

In 2006, I had the pleasure of hearing Laura present “Have A Business Breakthrough!” at the NAPO conference in Boston. She captivated the group with her energy and insights. My sincere gratitude and thanks goes to Laura for taking the time to join us. Laura’s interview moved me to tears because she spoke to the best of who we can become. Before we begin, here’s more about her.

Laura Berman Fortgang is internationally recognized as a pioneer in the personal coaching field and as the author of five books including Amazon bestseller, Now What? 90 Days to a New Life Direction and The Little Book On Meaning, which was a finalist for a Books for a Better Life Award alongside the Dalai Lama. Laura is a trusted media resource having appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show and all the national morning shows. She is also a sought-after professional speaker. Laura is founder of Now What?® Coaching and was a founding member and early board member of the International Coach Federation. You can connect with Laura on Facebook, Twitter, website, or blog.

Linda Samuels:  You’re a pioneer in the coaching industry and expert on helping others to become their best selves. How can we successfully prepare for “next”?

Laura Berman Fortgang:  The best gift you can give yourself as you prepare for the ‘next’ is to reduce the stress and anxiety in your life as much as possible. Hearing your own inner promptings and recognizing opportunities that are around you are not likely to happen when you are in a state of alarm over your circumstances.

Build in time to exercise, to have some fun and to meditate or journal as ways to ease your body and mind into a state where you can be receptive to new ideas and build the courage to take action.

Linda:  Sometimes our end goals seem so far away that we intimidate ourselves into inaction. What are some of your favorite strategies for moving past stuck?

Laura:  Small and steady is the motto for getting unstuck. Reduce the action steps into very small, do-able pieces and re-ignite your engine for action by having small successes.

For example, take on one thing a day towards your dream or make a deal with yourself to make two phone calls a day to people who can shed light on your chosen direction or help you explore the feasibility of an idea you have.

Small starts adding up and before you know it, you’ll be past ‘stuck’.

Linda:  What if “next” isn’t obvious?

Laura:  It is often not obvious what is ‘next’. The key is to follow the crumbs.  Even if it seems scattered and unfocused at the start, follow every lead and every whim until traction begins to occur or until your excitement in one area or another starts to build. 

Observe where things start falling into place and pursue that path. It’s taking you to your ‘next’ (or some variation thereof.)

Linda:  What has been your most surprising discovery about figuring out “next”?

Laura:  The most surprising thing is that if you start thinking that you are crazy and everyone is telling you so because of what you are considering as a next step, you must understand that you have found ‘IT’. That idea, inkling, nudging or longing is exactly the one you need to be pursuing. 

Many will run.  Only the brave will stay the course and be happier for it!

Linda:  What has been your biggest personal challenge around taking the next step?

Laura:  For me, the biggest personal challenge has been reconciling that the past is not to be repeated but rather to be rolled into what’s coming next. In other words, I have been slow to accept when it’s been time to move on. 

Linda:  Is there anything you’d like to share that I haven’t asked?

Laura:  I would ask:  What is the most significant tool you use to help people find their next step?

Surprisingly for many, it is not their resume. To many a client’s surprise and disappointment, I don’t look at someone’s resume when we begin the process of learning about them.  The reason for that is that it tells me only the chronological, logical progression of your career. It does not tell me if you are using all you have available to you. I know you are not, or you would not be calling me.

The most important tool I use is someone’s life story. I use a very specific way of extracting someone’s life history and then we analyze it together for specific clues to what would make the most satisfying future direction. 

A resume is linear and logical. A life story is not. And it is there that the rich information waits for the exploration of what’s next.  It’s very exciting.

Thank you, Laura for your generosity and insights about next steps. There are so many wonderful ideas here. Your thoughts about preparing the canvas or self so that you can be ready, rested, and open to next resonated with me, as did your “follow the crumbs” idea when next isn’t obvious. Perhaps more than anything, though, your last point about discovering next by exploring one’s life story rather than resume, really spoke to my core. Our stories reveal patterns, strengths, and passions.

I invite all of you to join Laura and me to continue the conversation. We’d love to hear your thoughts about next steps, getting unstuck, or your discoveries. What are you thinking about?

Judith Kolberg, FileHeadsThe 2013 “Ask the Expert” interviews continue with a dynamic and inspiring group of people! Last month, organizer and coach, Sue West, talked with us about fresh starts. This month, I’m excited to have with us the extraordinary pioneer and innovator in chronic disorganization and the organizing industry, Judith Kolberg, to share her thoughts about change.

Judith and I met in 1995 at the National Association of Professional Organizers (NAPO) conference in Dallas. She was running a panel called “Is This Your Client?” It was the first time I heard anyone talk about chronic disorganization, and immediately identified that most of my clients had similar challenges. Since then Judith and I have engaged in many wonderful conversations about organizing, publishing, family, and even cowboy boots. I’ve always admired her intelligence, warmth, directness, and fabulous sense of humor. I am honored to know her as a friend, mentor, and colleague. My deepest gratitude and thanks goes to Judith for taking the time to join us. Before we begin, here’s more about her.

Judith Kolberg pioneered FileHeads Professional Organizers in 1989. She founded the National Study Group on Chronic Disorganization, the precursor to the Institute for Challenging Disorganization (ICD) and is credited with launching a field of professional organizing dedicated to helping individuals challenged by chronic disorganization. She is an industry-futurist, innovator, and recipient of the industry’s highest honors including the Judith Kolberg Award. Several of the books Judith authored, such as Conquering Chronic Disorganization, are required reading for industry certification programs. Her books have sold over a quarter of million copies. She is a popular speaker and a featured organizer on the “Buried Alive” hoarding series. A native of New York, Judith lives in Atlanta, GA where she takes care of her Mom, sees clients, writes, and publishes. You can connect with Judith on Facebook, organizing or publishing websites, and blog.

Linda Samuels:  You’re a pioneer in the professional organizing industry and an expert on helping others creatively navigate change. What motivates people to change?

Judith Kolberg:  Money, sex, getting someone off our back, desperation – lots of things. In the organizing context a person changes from not-so-organized to more organized usually because they see getting organized as a means to another end. Yes, there is its own reward, but usually they make the effort to change because it will result in a living environment they enjoy being in more and that they want other people to enjoy more. Really, it is that simple.

Linda:  Change can be scary and overwhelming. What strategies can we use to help move past our fears?

Judith:  My favorite is to draw on their experience. If they are an adult, somewhere in their lifetime they’ve made a big a change and survived it. Maybe they moved, ditched a spouse, left a job and started a new career. If people can remember that it was difficult but they made it, that’s helpful to them. If I can help them identify what strengths they used that can be re-used, that’s good too. Are they persistent? Maybe they’re strong decision-makers? Perhaps they are realists? Anything can be leveraged.

Linda:  How can we identify when it’s time for change? Are there change indicators?

Judith:  Change indicators, an interesting word. At the dawn of my 60^th birthday, I realize the life I am living is just not right. It does not suit who I am well enough. I know I could be happier. Lots of changes ahead. I’m not sure if there are indicators so much as there are gaps, inconsistencies, disconnects. For my clients, changing what they are doing organizationally often is associated with other changes or transitions. What’s new that has put the change on the agenda now? I often ask.

Linda:  Do you have a philosophy about change?

Judith:  If you toss a cat gently in the air it may twist and turn slightly but it will land on its feet. That’s the closest I can come.

Linda:  What has been your biggest personal challenge around change?

Judith:  My biggest personal challenge with change is that I tend to wait too long. We do what we need to do when we’re ready, and sometimes to make a change it’s the wrong time, but you do it with your knees knocking.

Thank you, Judith for your insights about change. There are several things you said that resonated with me. I love how you talked about leveraging strengths and prior experiences as a strategy to move past our fears. Then there’s the idea about “knees knocking.” While change can certainly be exciting and energy producing, it can also scare the pants right off of us. However, being able to push past that fear in pursuit of different, as our knees are shaking and heart is palpitating, is often how change and growth is experienced.

I invite all of you to join Judith and me as the conversation continues. We’d love to hear your thoughts about change or anything else you’d like to share. What are you thinking about?

Sue West

Last year the “Ask the Expert” feature was introduced on The Other Side of Organized blog! It quickly became a big success as we enjoyed inspiring conversations with industry leaders such as best-selling author Gretchen Rubin, time management guru Julie Morgenstern, and organizer and coach extraordinaire Denslow Brown. For 2013, the interview series continues with another dynamic group of experts. I’m thrilled to begin this year with author, coach and organizer, Sue West to share her wisdom about fresh starts.

Sue and I met several years ago through our professional organizing association, ICD. We’ve had many wonderful conversations about organizing, coaching, writing, life balance, and transitions. I am honored to know her as a friend and colleague. My gratitude and thanks goes to Sue for taking the time to join us. Before we begin, here’s more about her.

Sue West, CPO-CD, CPO, COC is a professional organizer, coach, and the author of Organize for A Fresh Start: Embrace Your Next Chapter in Life. She specializes in helping clients with life changes and transitions. Her clients have called her insightful, wise, inspiring, filled with hope, and gentle yet productive. Working primarily with people at mid-life or beyond, Sue works by phone or in person and holds workshops. You can connect with Sue on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Pinterest, website and blog.

Linda:  You’re an expert on helping others navigate life transitions. What is your favorite tip for negotiating uncharted territory?

Sue:  I've always loved Oprah's column, "What I know for sure."  If you think about a big life change you've gone through, remember that feeling of being off-kilter?  We often focus on what we don't know, what's sad or uncomfortable, or seemingly impossible. So I always ask my clients, "What DO you know?" Focus on what's to be appreciated, what's working, what you know for sure (or almost sure, if you're feeling like a perfectionist). Once we start feeling stronger, we can move on.

Linda:  Fresh starts can be enervating or draining. What are a few strategies to help minimize overwhelm?

Sue:  Think "chapters" of time. Say you're starting a new business. This change affects your finances, sleep, exercise, nutrition, time for other interests, and many aspects of your life. Overwhelm can set in. Brainstorm with yourself or a coach, and get it all out of your head. On a second pass, break up your list by chapters in time and tackle one round of changes at a time.  A chapter could be when you start up, but still have a full-time job. A next chapter is when you decrease your full time hours, and so on.

Ask, “What's giving and what's taking my energy?” Hit the "pause" button for a few minutes daily and ask yourself those two questions. You'll gain perspective and able to change things for the better. 

Clear some physical space such as a desk, a shelf, or your home. Clearing the visual horizon clears your mind, is cathartic and energizing. People gain clarity and even control as they go through their things.  

More now than ever, use your preferred method of organizing your life.There's normally some mental or emotional fog, whether it's a positive or difficult life change. To mitigate its impact, take extra care to keep up your to do list and calendar. It is empowering in a time of change.

Linda:  A clean slate is an opportunity. How can we prepare physically or emotionally to experience positive results?

Sue:  When you've felt this way before, what strategies did you use? What strengthens and supports you?Similar strategies are likely to work now.  One of my clients had been using a lot of her time caring for her mother – visiting, errands, paperwork, finances, medical appointments, etc. When her mother died, my client was at a loss as to what to do with her newly found time… but lack of purpose.

My client worked with both a therapist and me to move forward, letting go of some of her past. She returned to what she had done before during difficult times, writing memories and stories about her mother. To her, it was useful to process her emotions, but also this reminded her to share stories with family, to honor her mother. By letting go, my client was less pulled by the past, and more open to what lay ahead. 

We incorporated her parents' things into her home, without overwhelming her space with too much of the past. Keep items that signify your strengths, your values and key memories.

Then we worked together on ways to fill her time with new purpose. She returned to hobbies and volunteer interests she had given up a long time ago - a wonderful and comfortable place for a new start.

Linda:  Do you have a philosophy about new beginnings?

Sue:  Our lives are a series of chapters. As you move to the next chapter, bring some of the past forward; don't ignore it because you feel the need to "start over." Build on what you know such as your strengths, your interests, values and your tried and true ways to bolster yourself. My parents taught me to look for the best in each person and for what I could learn. The same is true here, for our own selves!

Linda:  What has been your biggest personal challenge around second chances?

Sue:  I was raised to be self-motivated. I went through a set of big life changes about 10 years ago, and had a fresh start right in front of me. And yet, my closest friends believed in me more than I did.  Thank goodness for my temporary life preservers!  Reliance on other people didn't mean I'd become dependent on them or lose myself again. We need life preservers sometimes; it's a sign of strength and wisdom to invite in assistance.

Linda:  Is there anything you’d like to share about fresh starts that I haven’t asked?

Sue:  If something seems impossible, ask, “What is one small part of this that could be possible?”  If you're intent on a particular outcome, you'll miss the thing you needed to see along the way.

Thank you, Sue for your insights about transitions and fresh starts. There are so many nuggets of wisdom here, along with messages of hope. The idea of respecting and recognizing what you DO know as a focus for embracing the next chapter, resonates with me. I also responded to your idea of using our “temporary life preservers,” particularly when we’re going through major life changes. Your perspective that reaching out for help is a show of strength and wisdom, is refreshingly positive.

I invite all of you to join Sue and me as the conversation continues. We’d love to hear your thoughts about transitions, chapters, fresh starts, or anything else you’d like to share. Which ideas are you thinking about?

What an exciting year we've had with the introduction of our “Ask the Expert” feature on The Other Side of Organized blog! We’ve enjoyed fabulous conversations about being wonderfully human with Denslow Brown, possibilities with DeeAnne White, success with Lori Deschene, enlisting help with Janet Barclay, motivation with Dr. Shannon Reece, time management with Julie Morgenstern, clutter with Lorie Marrero, letting go with Geralin Thomas, next steps with Yota Schneider, and change with John Ryan. The interviews are the starting point. Your insightful reflections and additions to the dialogue add so much depth. I’m grateful that you are part of The Other Side of Organized community. This month as we shift our focus, I’m thrilled to bring you best-selling author and happiness expert, Gretchen Rubin to share her wisdom about life balance.

When Gretchen wrote The Happiness Project in 2009, there was a tremendous buzz about her book. I added it to my “Books to Read” list. Around that time, my husband and I became empty nesters. We had just dropped off our youngest daughter at college. We were in the airport, on our way to our first vacation in years without our kids, when I entered a bookstore to “just browse.” Displayed prominently, was Gretchen’s book. I bought it immediately, knowing it was the perfect book to read as I transitioned to this new phase of life. My deepest gratitude and thanks goes to Gretchen for taking the time to join us. Before we begin, here’s more about her.

Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including the blockbuster #1 New York Times bestseller, The Happiness Projectand her latest bestseller,Happier at Home. On her popular blog, The Happiness Project, she reports on her daily adventures in the pursuit of happiness. Gretchen started her career in law, and she was clerking for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor when she realized that she really wanted to be a writer. Raised in Kansas City, she lives in New York City with her husband and two daughters. You can connect with Gretchen on Facebook, Linkedin, Twitter, Pinterest, YouTube, website, or blog.

My Conversation with Gretchen Rubin

Linda:  You’re an expert on encouraging more happiness into our daily lives. What are some ways to increase the happiness quotient?

Gretchen:  A key—perhaps the key to happiness is strong relationships with other people. When you’re deciding how to spend your precious time, energy, and money, anything that widens or deepens your bonds with others is likely to be a happiness-booster.

Linda:  In your pursuit of happiness, what have you discovered about life balance?

Gretchen:  If something is important to me, I can’t wait until I have some free time to do it. I never have any free time. I have to make time.

Linda:  What do you suggest for those who are overwhelmed, stress-out, and time poor?

Gretchen:  Get enough sleep! Many people who feel overwhelmed, stressed-out, and time poor are physically exhausted because they’re chronically under-slept. Most adults need 7-9 hours. You can’t “train” yourself to get by with less. I’ve become a real sleep nut, because I see how important it is to happiness, energy, and health.

Linda:  Do you have a philosophy about life balance?

Gretchen:  My mantras are “I have plenty of time for the things that are important to me” and “I want to cram my life with the things I love.” The consequence – I don’t have time for the things that don’t reflect my interests, values, and temperament. They have to fall away.

Linda:  What has been your biggest personal life balance challenge?

Gretchen:  I love to work, so it’s sometimes hard for me to put down my book or step away from my laptop to spend time with my family and friends. I have to give myself “quitting time!”

Thank you, Gretchen for your thoughtful and concise insights about happiness and life balance. I love the clarity you have that happiness comes from our strong relationships with others, and that life balance is a matter of making time for what’s important and releasing the things that are not. I invite all of you to join Gretchen and me as we continue the conversation. What adds to your happiness? What are your challenges or successes with finding balance?