With close to a week into the New Year it already feels like time is flying by. Parties, late nights, gift-wrapping, and odd schedules are behind us as we slowly return to our usual patterns. Some of us, including me, are finishing the last of the holiday leftovers, or making promises to eat more healthfully, exercise more regularly, or declutter and organize our interior landscapes.

January is an especially great time to reflect and reset. We get an added boost from the “fresh start effect,” which is even more potent at the start of a New Year. One technique that can enhance your fresh start is the Three Things Reflections, which I created recently. With a small time investment of 20-30 minutes, this series of questions will guide you to reflect about the past year as you set intentions and hopes for this new one. It’s hard to have clarity about the present before taking the time to honor and let go of the past. 

With this in mind, I give you the Three Things Reflections. There are six pairs of questions. Each pair includes a question about the past year and a coordinating one about the current year. Feel free to answer all sets, only the ones that resonate with you, or substitute questions of your choosing. This can be a private or shared experience as you reflect back and future-think. You can write down your responses or have a conversation about them with friends or family. 

Three Things Reflections

1a. What were three things you learned this past year?

1b. What are three things you want to learn in 2020?

2a. What are three memorable moments from this past year?

2b. What three things are you looking forward to in 2020?

3a. What were three challenges you experienced this past year?

3b. What are three strengths you used with those challenges that you will bring to 2020?

4a. What are three places you enjoyed being last year?

4b. What are three places you’re looking forward to going to in 2020?

5a. What three words describe this past year?

5b. What three words do you hope will describe 2020?

6a. What are three things you said “yes” to this past year?

6b. What are three things you hope to have the opportunity to say “yes” to in 2020?

Bonus Questions

7a. Is there anything about the past year that is not reflected in these questions that you want to remember?

7b. Is there anything about the current year that is not reflected in these questions that you want to add?

On New Year’s Eve, we invited a small group of friends over. While we didn’t talk about all of these questions, we did discuss some of them. In the days that followed, I wrote out my responses to all of them. After doing so, I added two bonus questions. They were the icing on the cake and helped me to grasp the last year and the coming in a fuller, more vibrant way.

We each have unique ways of moving through time, setting goals, and intentions. I hope you’ll find the Three Things Reflections a valuable technique to enhance your fresh start. Do you have another approach that you use?. Do you have other questions to add to the ones I shared?  What are you looking forward to this year? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!

Do you notice patterns in life? They might grab your attention in the form of color, design, sound, behaviors, or habits. Some of these help us sequence our lives to maintain order or organize our days. For instance, without overthinking about it, I have a waking up pattern that eases me into my day. Perhaps you do too.

There are other types of patterns I notice from the way light floods into a room casting its beautiful shadows, or the intricate designs on the petal of a flower, or the gentle clicking beat of my turn signal when I’m driving the car. Patterns can be seen and heard everywhere. This month two kept appearing. What did that mean? I thought about it in the context of gratitude and fresh starts. More than other times, we feel an energy surge that comes with the beginning of a new year. It is still the first month of the year. Many of us are thinking about our goals and laying the groundwork that will influence the coming days.

The Power of Two

So getting back to the power of two. Coincidentally, these twos that I observed arrived in the form of “R” words, which I’ll share with you.

Rainbows

In an earlier post I wrote this month, How to Boldly Reset Your New Year With Intent, Flow, and Rainbows, I described and shared a video of my New Year’s Day walk at the Croton Dam when I saw the most magnificent rainbow. Just last week, as I was driving home from a client’s organizing session, a huge rainbow arched over the sky. How unusual to see two spectacular rainbows in the same month!

When we start something new, there is excitement, anticipation, and even some anxiety. There is also hope that something different is possible. Hope encourages us to embrace growth opportunities and experience life to its fullest. Hope makes us feel that things will work out and improve. These two rainbow sightings reminded me that hope is an essential ingredient for new beginnings.

Radio

The power of two continued. Twice this month I had the pleasure of being a guest on WNYC’s “All Of It” with the fabulous host, Alison Stewart. You can read more about those experiences (including behind the scenes looks) in the January 7th and January 21stposts. During the shows I loved talking with Alison and her listeners about organizing, overwhelm, letting go, and moving forward. The responses have been positive with many great outcomes that are laying the foundation for new opportunities this year. 

Relationships

In life, there’s doing, and there’s just being. For me, there’s nothing more beautiful than spending time with my little family (Steve and our daughters). And as it turns out, my husband feels the same way. For Steve’s milestone birthday (The big 6-0!), I organized a weekend at home to be with Allison, Cassie, and her boyfriend, Dezii. We cooked, ate, hung out, played games, talked, toasted, and sang “Happy Birthday” multiple times. As I looked around, I noticed many quiet moments of intimate conversations between two people. We give and receive so much positive energy and love from those one-on-one interactions. There’s nothing quite like the power of two people bonding in a simple, genuine way. Beginning the year spending time with the people I love most was a beautiful way to start the year. It filled my heart with gratitude.

Reinvigoration

Continuing with the power of two was part two of Steve’s birthday gift where just the two of us we went away for the weekend. We saw the Andy Warhol exhibit at The Whitney, walked the High Line, and explored Chelsea Market. We continued into Brooklyn to visit our daughter, Allison, at her open studio event at Two Tree Studios. From there we headed to our old stomping ground, Williamsburg (Brooklyn) where we had lived over 33 years ago before its renaissance. There’s something so refreshing about exploring new sights, sounds, tastes, and places. Part two of Steve’s gift reminded me that integral to fresh starts is having intentional, new experiences. So even though we’d been to some of these places before, each time we explore them, we are changed. There are always new things to observe and learn. Being away from your usual environment is rejuvenating and an excellent fresh start enhancer.

Reflection

The last power of two has to do with gratitude for then and now. As I mentioned above, Steve and I used to live in Williamsburg decades ago before it was a happening place. We renovated a loft there in the early 1980s. The neighborhood has changed a lot. When we lived there, it had the highest homicide rate in any community in the five boroughs, not a statistic that my parents were happy about. There were few if any coffee shops or eateries. Although both of us remembered one amazing donut shop (ahh, those hot-out-of-the-oven French crullers,) Effie’s Continental, and Peter Luger’s Steak House. There were no shops with handmade wares and one hundred dollar scented candles. There were no clubs, hotels, expensive condos, or lovely walking parks along the river. As we explored our old neighborhood, we reminisced and appreciated the “raw” time we spent there, including the challenges we faced as we navigated those early years of love, marriage, and life in Williamsburg.

As much as we enjoyed reminiscing, we also recognized how grateful we are for the present. The Hudson Valley has become our home. We are happy to be here by the beauty of rivers in the quiet of the woods. Life will take many paths, and it’s impossible to know where the future will lead. Gratitude and reflection will always be integral to our journey.

Hope, opportunities, people, places, and thoughts. What patterns are you noticing? Have they come in twos, other numbers, colors, or experiences? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Join the conversation!

An essential part of getting a fresh start is being able to let go. It’s challenging to move forward when we hold on to life’s physical stuff, habits, thoughts, or relationships that don’t support who we are or where we’re going. Even though we may intellectually understand this, doing something about it isn’t always so simple. Our belongings often come with emotional attachments, which make it more difficult to part with them. Of course, there’s no need to let go of things just to let go. However, if you’re in a transition, want less stuff, or are clearing out your parents’ home, then releasing to move forward is an integral part of that process.

Last week, I was invited back as a guest on WNYC’s “All Of It” show with the fabulous host, Alison Stewart.

Click here to listen to the podcast.

Listeners had the opportunity to call in and ask their most pressing organizing questions. While we talked about many things, the focus of this show was primarily on clearing out your parent’s home. Alison started the show by reading a passage from her book, Junk, which she wrote after clearing out her parents’ home of 55 years with her sister and friend.

One of the ideas we discuss in the organizing industry is “safe passage.” What we’ve noticed is that when we help our clients find meaningful homes for the possessions they want to let go of, it eases their emotions and attachments and helps them feel good about releasing them. So, for example, giving items to family, friends, or charities that benefit or that the recipients appreciate provides this safe passage. 

Many excellent resources were discussed during the WNYC show. I’ll share those along with some additional ones.

Resources for Letting Go

1. Art Supplies – Materials for the Arts is a New York organization that collects art supplies, art books, audio and video equipment, beads, jewelry, fabric, flat-screen TVs, musical instruments, office supplies, paper, picture frames, power tools, trim and sewing notions, and more. They make the materials available for free to nonprofit organizations with arts programming, government agencies, and public schools.

2. Books – Better World Books is a for-profit e-retailer that collects and sells new and used books online and matches each purchase with a book donation to Book-for-Book. Sales generate funds for literacy and education initiatives in the United States, the United Kingdom, and around the world. Visit their website to find a book drop box near you.

3. Clothing and Household – Many places accept donations of clothing, household items, books, furniture, toys, electronics, and a variety of things. Depending upon your location, some of these organizations will pick up your items. Resources include:

• Furniture Sharehouse

• Goodwill

• Housing Works

• Vietnam Veterans of America

4. Medical Equipment and Supplies – The Afya Foundation supports ongoing health missions worldwide with a focus on disaster relief. Recognizing that after surgery, illness or death, families often have unneeded medical supplies and equipment, they accept these supplies and give them a second life by donating them to others in need. They will take underpads, adult diapers, gauze, IV supplies, manual wheelchairs, walkers, canes, crutches, and more.

5. Records (LPs and More) – WFMU is having a Record Fair April 26-28, 2019 at the Brooklyn Expo Center. They are collecting interesting and eclectic vinyl records and CDs. They will use the records to fill in their music library and generate funds for the station. 

The Archive of Contemporary Music is a non-profit that collects and preserves recorded popular music and music-related materials from around the world. This includes all music formats (LPs, CDs, 8-tracks, etc.), music-related memorabilia, posters, personal papers, press kits, sheet music, songbooks, books, videos, and more.

6. Recycling and Trash – When clearing out a home, heavy lifting will be involved. The Junkluggers are an excellent resource for taking away trash, donations, and recycling. They aim to donate as much as possible and will provide you with a tax-deductible receipt. When I cleared out my parents’ home of 60 years, they were my go-to source.

7. Reflections – Letting go often involves the physical process of removing things from their environment. In points 1-6, I provided you with resources for doing this. Another aspect of letting go is navigating the emotional part. Like Alison Stewart, I also cleared out and sold my parents’ home this past year. It was an emotional process and a big learning experience. It’s one thing to help others, it’s quite another to manage a project like this for your own family. It gave me a deeper appreciation of the emotions and challenges my clients experienced when I helped them. While I wrote many posts during this process, for my final post in the series, How to Say Goodbye and Let Go With Love, I shared ten gentle ways that I learned to let go. 

Behind the Scenes at WNYC

To listen to WNYC's "All Of It" January 18th podcast with listener questions, their stories, my responses, and more, click here. My segment is the first 20-plus minutes.

To move forward and get a fresh start, letting go happens. Your focus and energy will be on physical possessions or emotional attachments. It helps to have tools and resources. Do any of these resonate with you? Do you have other favorite letting go resources? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Join the conversation!

You’re in good company if you’re thinking, “How is it already the middle of January?” Thoughts of glitter, parties, and intentions are on our minds. Yet here we are, halfway through the first month of a new year. You might be wondering how to make the best of your fresh start, especially with the time flying by.  If you’re still cleaning up from the holidays and getting those last decorations put away, great! In fact, getting back to square one is an integral part of preparing for a new beginning. Clearing allows us to remove obstacles and focus positive energy towards our next projects and paths.

While the first few weeks of this year have been a whirlwind, there were several external and internal things I did which helped me improve and create energy during this time of year. I’m curious if any of these ideas resonate with you? 

Edit Clothes

Typically, I edit and organize my clothes twice a year. I do the spring/summer and the fall/winter reviews. Even though I had done the fall/winter sort months ago, I noticed that I still had many clothes I wasn’t wearing. So if they weren’t being worn, what were they doing taking up valuable physical and mental space? And while that may seem like an obvious question, answering it wasn’t as simple. So I went further to figure out why I wasn’t wearing them. Was it they just didn't fit? Had they been replaced by something similar that I liked better? Was it just that when it was time to get dressed they never got picked? If I’m not wearing it, why am I maintaining it?

Do you know about the 80/20 rule? We only wear 20% of the clothes that we own. That’s because we have our favorites. So using the “favorites” criteria, I looked again and released more items from my drawers and closet. I’ll continue to pay attention as the winter progresses. Getting dressed will be obstacle-free with fewer decisions and more breathing room for my clothes.

Clear Files

While I have a lot of digital files, I still collect a fair amount of paper. The papers are stored in filing cabinets, binders or boxes, depending on what they are. By the end of the year, there is a group of financial papers that get cleared out to make room for the current year. Typically I’ll do the big paper purge the last week in December or early January. Most of the papers relate to taxes. I shred and recycle as much as possible and move the keepers to a storage area away from my prime office space. Last week I cleared my files. By the end of the year, my drawers get quite full. It becomes challenging to access what I need easily. It felt incredible to remove the old and regain my space. Now every time I open the file drawers, I have an “ahhhh” feeling. There’s no struggle, just room to file and retrieve what I need. This simple act of clearing the paper signaled my fresh start “ready for anything” attitude. 

Calm Mind

Many of you know that I meditate daily. I begin and end my day with this practice. While the point isn’t to clear my mind of all thoughts, it does help calm my mind to be more present and available to others and myself. Every day I have a mixture of positive, neutral, and negative emotions and experiences. My mindfulness and meditation practice provides me with a supportive base. It helps me appreciate the full experience of living.  I love learning about mindfulness through reading, practicing, experiencing, attending workshops, and talking with teachers and practitioners. Last week, I had the pleasure of learning from one of my favorite guides, Amy Reyer Ph.D., who led a Contemplative Meditation workshop, which was the third class in her Art of Well-Being series. Meditation practices can be done in many ways and don’t all involve sitting still on a cushion with your eyes closed while focusing on your breath. I like to experiment with different meditations. Each time I practice, that fresh start is activated. I’m able to press the reset button to pause, focus, learn, tune in, and go forward in a calmer, more open way.

To create optimal conditions for a better beginning, clear your internal and external obstacles. Edit and release what is no longer of value. Edit and release the things that are holding you down. Create space for the belongings and thoughts that support you. Clear to boost to your fresh start.

What are you ready to clear? What obstacles are you about to remove? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Join the conversation!