Do you feel challenged by the physical and emotional clutter in your life? Does your clutter overwhelm and bother you? You are not alone. Imagine what it would feel like to become the “boss of my clutter,” as the fabulous psychologist and procrastination coach Dr. Christine Li said to me recently. When we address and enlist support for our challenges, it’s incredible what becomes possible.  If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, disorganized, and cluttered, do not despair. There is hope. If you’re curious how a professional organizer like me can help and what it’s like to work together, keep reading (and listening.) Settle in, grab a cup of your favorite hot beverage, and get ready for a great surprise.

A few months back, Christine reached out to invite me as a guest on her insightful podcast, Make Time for Success. If you’re not familiar with her podcast, add it right now to your listening cue. Christine has a calm, warm way of normalizing challenges and sharing ways to overcome them. She’s authentic, brave, and asks excellent questions. You come away feeling inspired along with simple strategies for change.

Christine and I met several years ago and have remained in touch. For the podcast, Christine asked me to share some ideas for managing clutter. She also said she’d like to hire me to help her address the clutter in her home office, kitchen, and main bedroom. Then she asked if I would be willing to do a second podcast after our three virtual organizing sessions to talk about our work together- a debrief. The work I do with clients is confidential. Christine’s client-initiated offer to speak publicly about her organizing challenges, successes, and experience of working together was rare.

It was extraordinary having the podcast conversations, working with Christine, and listening to the thoughtful way she talked about her clutter, discoveries, and habit changes. I am deeply grateful to her for inviting me to be a guest, hiring me to work with her, and sharing her heart and insights. She breathes what’s possible.

“When we address and enlist support for our challenges, it’s incredible what becomes possible.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

Make Time for Success Podcasts

Listen to our conversations by clicking on the players below.

Part 1:  5 Types of Clutter You Can Get Organized Now with Linda Samuels

In this episode, you will discover:

• My passion for working with people challenged by disorganization

• How I started my business, Oh, So Organized!

• The emotional attachment we have to our stuff

• Ideas about creating supportive environments

• How to start decluttering

• The five most common areas of clutter and strategies to help

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Part 2:  Here’s What Happened When I Worked with a Professional Organizer with Linda Samuels

In this episode, you will discover:

• Christine’s lessons learned

• How I listen for what my clients need and wish for

• Why clutter often leads to feelings of paralysis and procrastination

• What success looks and feels like

The podcasts cover a broad scope of ideas including, clutter, emotional attachments, procrastination, working with a professional organizer, and discovering what’s possible. What resonated with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

If you want support and are ready to figure out how to, as Christine says, “live peacefully with our stuff,” I’m here. Please email me, linda@ohsoorganized.com or call 914-271-5673. I’m ready to help.

Letting go can be challenging, especially when we have strong emotional attachments to our things. You might wonder why you have to let go? You don’t. You always have a choice. However, there are pivotal moments in our lives when letting go is necessary and you’re struggling. Perhaps you are in the midst of a significant life change like moving or rightsizing. Maybe you lost a loved one and are responsible for editing and dispossessing their things. Or, perhaps you are overwhelmed with a mountain of belongings that no longer deserve physical or mental space in your life. When we combine emotional transitions with a propensity for strong attachments to our stuff, letting go can be difficult.

Minimalist Leo Babauta wrote something, which resonated with me. He referred to “the skill of letting go.”  All skills require practice. His description is infused with hope. It suggests that even if you are struggling with letting go, you can practice and improve. This is something I’ve experienced with my clients. The more they work at letting go, the less challenging it becomes.

4 Ways to Let Go of Things When Emotional Attachments are Powerful

1. Exercise Letting Go Muscles

I’ve always perceived letting go as a muscle that needs to be exercised like other muscles. However, we wouldn’t start lifting with a 100 lb. weight. We’d start small, maybe with a five-pounder, and build from there. This thought process is similar to letting go of the things we’re attached to. Exercise your letting go muscles by starting with the “lighter-weight” possessions like clothing or junk mail. Get a letting go rhythm established and work your way to the “heavier-weight” items that you feel more emotionally connected. Like most of us starting an exercise routine, it’s helpful to have an accountability partner or trainer. For help exercising your letting go muscles, hire a professional organizer like me, or work with a trusted friend or family member. It can make all the difference.

2. Normalize Emotional Attachments

It is prevalent, especially with people challenged by disorganization, to have strong emotional attachments to things. When attachments are heightened, identify and display your most valued treasures, set boundaries around what “enough” means, and use physical boundary parameters like a box or closet size. For items that get released, make the “homes” they go meaningful and that the places or people they are donated or given to will appreciate them. All of these things will make letting go easier to process.

“Letting go can be challenging, especially when we have strong emotional attachments to our things.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

3. Incentivize Letting Go

When we invite people over for a small gathering (tiny these days because of the pandemic,) what happens? Most of us become motivated to make our home guest-ready. This can include cleaning, decluttering, and letting go. Establishing a manufactured date can boost incentive for getting your home “good enough” for your company. Consider increasing the frequency of invitations to friends and family (using COVID safety protocols) as a dual incentive- more socializing time and increased opportunities to sort, edit, organize, and let go.

4. Minimize Kinesthetic Sympathy

When we physically touch things, it can increase our emotional attachment to them. This is the premise of kinesthetic sympathy. If you can, work with someone who can physically hold up the items for you while selecting what to keep or release. Putting physical distance and touch between you and the object can make decision-making more manageable. Physical space decreases emotional attachment and helps distinguish what is most treasured from the things that are no longer needed.

Do you or someone you know feel challenged with letting go? Do emotional attachments make it harder to let go? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Change can be challenging. We often want the result, yet we aren’t ready to do the necessary work. That work can involve rethinking beliefs or letting go of physical or emotional clutter. It’s incredible how quickly change can happen when you harness time, motivation, and opportunity. At home, I recently experienced the confluence of these forces. I was surprised and delighted by what transpired. I hope my discoveries will help you with the change you seek.

The story begins with some context. We had the joy of having our youngest daughter and husband-to-be here for her birthday, our anniversary, and Father’s Day weekend. Due to COVID-19, we hadn’t seen them in many months, and it was incredible to be physically present. My heart is still full. We all quarantined and minimized outside exposure pre-visit, have been healthy, and felt confident being together.

One of our conversations was about their upcoming fall wedding. It’s no surprise that due to the pandemic, they altered their plans. They will have a small virtual wedding hosted at our house. During our discussion about how to accommodate the social distancing concerns, we laid out chairs in our greenhouse, where the ceremony will be to visualize how this will work.

“It’s incredible how quickly change can happen when you harness time, motivation, and opportunity.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®

A bit of background is helpful. Our greenhouse has been used for many things. It was a space to ride tricycles or do rainy day picnics when the girls were young. We used it for Cajun dance parties, a place to display the porcelain sign collection, and the bar location for holiday gatherings. It is a workspace for my husband’s woodworking machines and tools, a place to keep our Barber’s chairs, and, most recently, a room to actually grow plants. 

To allow proper social distancing in the greenhouse for the wedding guests, we needed more empty space. Approximately half of the room was filled with equipment, wood, and miscellaneous items that were no longer working or used. There were “someday” project supplies being stored too. Since Cassie and Matthew were over, they offered to help my husband, Steve, and move his equipment so we could increase the floor space for guests.

My husband is a talented man with many skills and hobbies. He’s also a collector of numerous things, including large equipment. And while he’s willing to let go, this isn’t easy for him. He enjoys collecting, and the Boy Scout in him likes to be prepared. Also, he has emotional attachments, as do I, to some things from the past. Believe me, I get it.

However, to my great surprise, during our discussions about moving “the stuff in the greenhouse,” it became clear that he was ready to let go of a few things. The decluttering began with one or two items and turned into his releasing a large quantity. So many things went. I placed ads on Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace for people to pick-up items for free. Within a few hours, most of the curbside piles were gone. 

The Confluence of Three Forces That Encourage Change

Time.

So why was Steve able to let go and allow this change to happen after almost two decades? It turns out that time helped him get ready. You can’t push people before they are willing. He recognized that the items that had been useful and relevant were not anymore. He felt happy and lighter when he let things go. We’re both still smiling. I am so proud of him for his willingness to ask some hard questions, make big decisions, and let go.

Motivation.

Steve was highly motivated because we needed more space for the upcoming wedding ceremony. Never underestimate the value of a compelling motivation such as a significant life event (i.e., wedding, divorce, job loss, move, new baby) to facilitate decision-making and change.

Opportunity.

Cassie and Matthew were physically here, which presented an opportunity to do the work. We weren’t expecting it, but they offered to help. They were non-judgmental and gracious about talking things through, supporting Steve with his decisions, and schlepping stuff to the curb. Thank you, Cassie and Matthew! We feel more wedding-ready.

Enjoy this 20-second time-lapse video Matthew took during a portion of the greenhouse clear out. The actual time we worked took many hours.

Has time, motivation, or opportunity influenced a change you’ve experienced? Are there ideas that resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation! 

Yes, I know. It’s not spring yet. However, even though in the northeast we had more snow in the past few days and we're still sporting our coats and gloves, spring and what it represents is on our minds. I have nothing against snow or cold or being cozy inside on a winter’s day. Yet the thought of spring brings a smile to my face and a sense of hope that’s particular to this season of rebirth and renewal. Some of you might be wondering why I’m jumping ahead to spring thoughts when it’s still winter. For someone like me that engages in mindfulness practice, this seems anti-mindful.

I was prompted to future-think when I was invited back last week to be a guest on WNYC’s All Of It show hosted by the fabulous, Alison Stewart. The topic was “Spring Cleaning,” as in ways to prepare for spring organizing, choose next steps, lighten-up, and let go.

Alison and I talked about many ideas including rituals for spring organizing and how those are different from other seasons, and which are the most popular areas to organize during the spring. I also answered listeners’ questions such as the best method for organizing “hard” purses, how to let go of the clothes we’re emotionally attached to, and how to be a role model for our kids.

You can listen to the podcast here:

One of the clear themes that arose in the discussions and questions was what to do next? And while that answer varies greatly depending on what your unique situation is I thought it would be useful to share a few organizing strategies to help you navigate next as you gear-up for spring organizing.

3 Next Steps for Successful Spring Organizing . . .

1. How do I choose my next step when I’m feeling overwhelmed by the number of organizing projects I want to tackle this spring?

Next Step: When there are a lot of choices, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed. In some cases, this overwhelm can cause inaction. One of the best ways to get unstuck is to figure out the tiniest possible next step you can take. So instead of focusing on all of the projects you want to do, select just one for now. There is no wrong choice. Pick one that will yield the most significant positive result for you or the project that will be easiest to accomplish. Then think small. What one tiny step can you take to move it forward? Build on your success one increment at a time.

2. How do I figure out my next step when I know what I want to organize this spring, but I have no idea of how to get it done?

Next Step: It’s terrific when you know what your organizing goals are. It’s also normal to be unsure about how to accomplish them. An excellent next step is to reach out for help.  The help can be from a family member, friend, or professional organizer like me. It’s possible that merely talking about your goals with another person will be enough to get clarity and move you forward. Other times, it’s helpful to have someone working side-by-side with you to help with the actual next steps. The point here is that you don’t have to go it alone. Enlist help from an organizing buddy.

3. What next step ideas do you have for letting go of the things that I’m emotionally attached to?

Next Step: Letting go can be challenging, but it can also be freeing. It’s important to ask yourself why you want to let go. Are you feeling overwhelmed or burdened by your things? Are they taking up emotional or physical space in your life? It’s worth deciding which items are adding value and which ones are not. Once you do that and you’ve determined the belongings you’d like to release, but feel emotionally attached to, find the right resources. Giving, donating or selling them to others that will appreciate your things as you have will make it easier to let them go. It will provide them with safe passage. It can also be helpful to have the support of a non-judgmental, compassionate person to be with you during the decision-making and letting go process.

Behind the Scenes at WNYC

To listen to the March 1st podcast of my guest appearance on WNYC's "All Of It" including listener questions and organizing challenges, my responses, and more, click here. For an inside look at WNYC, watch the video below.

With spring around the corner, what organizing projects are you thinking about? What are your most pressing next step questions? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Join the conversation!