For my clients, the most challenging aspect of the organizing process is letting go. The desire for organization, calm, peace, and having less stuff is real. But the process for getting “there,” especially during the editing phase can cause strong emotions like fear, anxiety, or paralysis. Have you or someone you know encountered this?

Why is it so hard to let go? How can we make the process less painful and more positive?

Our stuff represents many things including:

• Who I once was

• Who I hope to be

• Places I’ve been

• People I’ve loved

• Projects I want to do

• Projects I’ll never do

• Things I love

• Things received and never looked at again

• Right purchases

• Wrong purchases

• Gifts received

• Gifts to be given

• Broken parts waiting to be repaired

• Unidentified parts

• Clothing I wear

• Clothing I’ll never wear

The list goes on and on. 

So when we begin to face our stuff and decide what is essential to keep like the “spark joy” and practical items and let go of the things that have overstayed their welcome, choosing can be more difficult than we anticipated. You might experience heightened emotions, resistance, or avoidance. All of these are entirely normal.

Just because it’s hard, doesn’t mean you can’t let go. It only indicates that you might need some strategies for navigating the turbulent waters. 

8 Helpful Tips for Letting Go More Easily

1. Clarify Why 

As I mentioned above, emotions can hijack our decision-making ability, so having a clear picture of why we want to let go is crucial. Are you downsizing? Are you about to welcome a new family member to your home? Is your clutter preventing you from inviting people over? Get clear around your why.  When you’re feeling challenged with letting go, revisit your why. It will keep you motivated and focused.

2. Reach Out

Sometimes it’s better not to go it alone. If you’re struggling, it can be beneficial to enlist help from a friend, family member, or professional organizer like me. Look for someone who is nonjudgmental, compassionate, energetic, and can keep you focused on your objectives.

3. Pace Yourself

Recognize that making decisions takes mental and physical energy. Too many decisions can cause decision fatigue, which can deteriorate the quality of your choices. Be mindful of how you’re feeling. Take breaks as needed by getting some fresh air, having a snack, sipping a drink, or taking a bio break. Remove yourself from the area and then come back refreshed.

4. Set Boundaries

If you have a lot of editing to do, especially if you’re preparing for a move or rightsizing, set goals for how much time you want to spend editing and letting go each day. Experiment with what works best for you. Use a timer and stop when it dings. At the next session either reduce or add time considering how that previous letting go sitting went.

5. Prepare Setting

Make letting go as easy as possible by making your supplies readily accessible. Have bags, boxes, bins, tape, sticky notes, markers, pens, a pad of paper available to contain and label the items that will be donated, sold, or discarded. The key is to have things exit quickly, ideally the same day if that’s realistic. If the same day is not an option, set up a waiting area for the items that will be leaving. 

6. Safe Passage

Being able to donate or give your belongings to a person or resource that will appreciate and benefit from them can ease the letting go stress. This gives your things an easier exit or safe passage. It’s worth making a list of resources that you will feel good giving things away to. The list can include friends, family, local or national charities. I am a resource collector. Sharing these with my clients is involved in the organizing services that I provide. If you need a specific type of donation resource, let me know. I’m happy to help.

7. Just Do It

I know that Nike coined that phrase, but it’s a good one to keep in mind especially when your resistance surfaces. The amazing thing is that the more you exercise your letting go muscles, the more relaxed and less painful the process becomes. Action breeds success. Success encourages progress. Progress gets you from where you are to where you want to be. Trust the power of action, even if it’s one small step. Don’t deliberate. Do.

8. Be Patient

It’s easy to get discouraged when you spent three hours sorting and editing, yet there’s still so much more to do. This is how it is. Be patient with the process. You collected your things over a lifetime. Editing them won’t take a lifetime, but it will take some time. Keep your big goal in mind, be kind to yourself along the way, release the “coulda, woulda, shoulda” and continue on until you’ve let go of enough. You determine what enough looks like.

What have you encountered with letting go? Do you have a favorite strategy that’s helpful? Do any of these resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Yes, I know. It’s not spring yet. However, even though in the northeast we had more snow in the past few days and we're still sporting our coats and gloves, spring and what it represents is on our minds. I have nothing against snow or cold or being cozy inside on a winter’s day. Yet the thought of spring brings a smile to my face and a sense of hope that’s particular to this season of rebirth and renewal. Some of you might be wondering why I’m jumping ahead to spring thoughts when it’s still winter. For someone like me that engages in mindfulness practice, this seems anti-mindful.

I was prompted to future-think when I was invited back last week to be a guest on WNYC’s All Of It show hosted by the fabulous, Alison Stewart. The topic was “Spring Cleaning,” as in ways to prepare for spring organizing, choose next steps, lighten-up, and let go.

Alison and I talked about many ideas including rituals for spring organizing and how those are different from other seasons, and which are the most popular areas to organize during the spring. I also answered listeners’ questions such as the best method for organizing “hard” purses, how to let go of the clothes we’re emotionally attached to, and how to be a role model for our kids.

You can listen to the podcast here:

One of the clear themes that arose in the discussions and questions was what to do next? And while that answer varies greatly depending on what your unique situation is I thought it would be useful to share a few organizing strategies to help you navigate next as you gear-up for spring organizing.

3 Next Steps for Successful Spring Organizing . . .

1. How do I choose my next step when I’m feeling overwhelmed by the number of organizing projects I want to tackle this spring?

Next Step: When there are a lot of choices, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed. In some cases, this overwhelm can cause inaction. One of the best ways to get unstuck is to figure out the tiniest possible next step you can take. So instead of focusing on all of the projects you want to do, select just one for now. There is no wrong choice. Pick one that will yield the most significant positive result for you or the project that will be easiest to accomplish. Then think small. What one tiny step can you take to move it forward? Build on your success one increment at a time.

2. How do I figure out my next step when I know what I want to organize this spring, but I have no idea of how to get it done?

Next Step: It’s terrific when you know what your organizing goals are. It’s also normal to be unsure about how to accomplish them. An excellent next step is to reach out for help.  The help can be from a family member, friend, or professional organizer like me. It’s possible that merely talking about your goals with another person will be enough to get clarity and move you forward. Other times, it’s helpful to have someone working side-by-side with you to help with the actual next steps. The point here is that you don’t have to go it alone. Enlist help from an organizing buddy.

3. What next step ideas do you have for letting go of the things that I’m emotionally attached to?

Next Step: Letting go can be challenging, but it can also be freeing. It’s important to ask yourself why you want to let go. Are you feeling overwhelmed or burdened by your things? Are they taking up emotional or physical space in your life? It’s worth deciding which items are adding value and which ones are not. Once you do that and you’ve determined the belongings you’d like to release, but feel emotionally attached to, find the right resources. Giving, donating or selling them to others that will appreciate your things as you have will make it easier to let them go. It will provide them with safe passage. It can also be helpful to have the support of a non-judgmental, compassionate person to be with you during the decision-making and letting go process.

Behind the Scenes at WNYC

To listen to the March 1st podcast of my guest appearance on WNYC's "All Of It" including listener questions and organizing challenges, my responses, and more, click here. For an inside look at WNYC, watch the video below.

With spring around the corner, what organizing projects are you thinking about? What are your most pressing next step questions? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Join the conversation!

An essential part of getting a fresh start is being able to let go. It’s challenging to move forward when we hold on to life’s physical stuff, habits, thoughts, or relationships that don’t support who we are or where we’re going. Even though we may intellectually understand this, doing something about it isn’t always so simple. Our belongings often come with emotional attachments, which make it more difficult to part with them. Of course, there’s no need to let go of things just to let go. However, if you’re in a transition, want less stuff, or are clearing out your parents’ home, then releasing to move forward is an integral part of that process.

Last week, I was invited back as a guest on WNYC’s “All Of It” show with the fabulous host, Alison Stewart.

Click here to listen to the podcast.

Listeners had the opportunity to call in and ask their most pressing organizing questions. While we talked about many things, the focus of this show was primarily on clearing out your parent’s home. Alison started the show by reading a passage from her book, Junk, which she wrote after clearing out her parents’ home of 55 years with her sister and friend.

One of the ideas we discuss in the organizing industry is “safe passage.” What we’ve noticed is that when we help our clients find meaningful homes for the possessions they want to let go of, it eases their emotions and attachments and helps them feel good about releasing them. So, for example, giving items to family, friends, or charities that benefit or that the recipients appreciate provides this safe passage. 

Many excellent resources were discussed during the WNYC show. I’ll share those along with some additional ones.

Resources for Letting Go

1. Art Supplies – Materials for the Arts is a New York organization that collects art supplies, art books, audio and video equipment, beads, jewelry, fabric, flat-screen TVs, musical instruments, office supplies, paper, picture frames, power tools, trim and sewing notions, and more. They make the materials available for free to nonprofit organizations with arts programming, government agencies, and public schools.

2. Books – Better World Books is a for-profit e-retailer that collects and sells new and used books online and matches each purchase with a book donation to Book-for-Book. Sales generate funds for literacy and education initiatives in the United States, the United Kingdom, and around the world. Visit their website to find a book drop box near you.

3. Clothing and Household – Many places accept donations of clothing, household items, books, furniture, toys, electronics, and a variety of things. Depending upon your location, some of these organizations will pick up your items. Resources include:

• Furniture Sharehouse

• Goodwill

• Housing Works

• Vietnam Veterans of America

4. Medical Equipment and Supplies – The Afya Foundation supports ongoing health missions worldwide with a focus on disaster relief. Recognizing that after surgery, illness or death, families often have unneeded medical supplies and equipment, they accept these supplies and give them a second life by donating them to others in need. They will take underpads, adult diapers, gauze, IV supplies, manual wheelchairs, walkers, canes, crutches, and more.

5. Records (LPs and More) – WFMU is having a Record Fair April 26-28, 2019 at the Brooklyn Expo Center. They are collecting interesting and eclectic vinyl records and CDs. They will use the records to fill in their music library and generate funds for the station. 

The Archive of Contemporary Music is a non-profit that collects and preserves recorded popular music and music-related materials from around the world. This includes all music formats (LPs, CDs, 8-tracks, etc.), music-related memorabilia, posters, personal papers, press kits, sheet music, songbooks, books, videos, and more.

6. Recycling and Trash – When clearing out a home, heavy lifting will be involved. The Junkluggers are an excellent resource for taking away trash, donations, and recycling. They aim to donate as much as possible and will provide you with a tax-deductible receipt. When I cleared out my parents’ home of 60 years, they were my go-to source.

7. Reflections – Letting go often involves the physical process of removing things from their environment. In points 1-6, I provided you with resources for doing this. Another aspect of letting go is navigating the emotional part. Like Alison Stewart, I also cleared out and sold my parents’ home this past year. It was an emotional process and a big learning experience. It’s one thing to help others, it’s quite another to manage a project like this for your own family. It gave me a deeper appreciation of the emotions and challenges my clients experienced when I helped them. While I wrote many posts during this process, for my final post in the series, How to Say Goodbye and Let Go With Love, I shared ten gentle ways that I learned to let go. 

Behind the Scenes at WNYC

To listen to WNYC's "All Of It" January 18th podcast with listener questions, their stories, my responses, and more, click here. My segment is the first 20-plus minutes.

To move forward and get a fresh start, letting go happens. Your focus and energy will be on physical possessions or emotional attachments. It helps to have tools and resources. Do any of these resonate with you? Do you have other favorite letting go resources? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Join the conversation!

As you might imagine, as a professional organizer, one of the things my clients hire me for is to help them edit the things they have collected and then organize what remains. They often refer to their stuff as clutter. By the time they contact me, they are highly motivated to release the excess (as in they want it gone yesterday.) I’ve noticed that certain motivators make the editing process easier and faster. In recent months, the five motivators described below are the ones I’ve encountered most frequently.

There are a few common threads, which make these motivators especially effective. Each motivator possesses a clear “why.” This clarity makes decision-making easier to determine which things they want or no longer want in their life. Secondly, these five motivators have deadlines, which add a time pressure or incentive to be more decisive and speedy in the decluttering process. Lastly, they all involve a significant change. While there might be some fear involved in change, there can also be excitement and opportunity, which serves as a great driver.

5 Strong Motivators For Releasing Your Clutter

1. Moving– When you’re preparing to move, letting go of the unessential, enables you to start with a clean slate in your next place. Whether you’re downsizing, upsizing, or right sizing, the moving incentive works beautifully for getting you to evaluate your belongings and excess clutter. For example, if you’re moving to a home with 50% less space, you can use that editing formula as a guide and reduce your current possessions by half. Moving, even if to a larger space, still provides a great opportunity to evaluate, edit and decide which things have meaning and which do not.

2. Cycling– For those of you that have children leaving for college, in college, or post college, you’re in the midst of this revolving door time. I think of this phenomenon as revolving door empty nesters, where our kids cycle frequently between living home and away. These transitions can be huge motivators for letting go, editing, and decluttering. These periods of time are excellent for encouraging our children to decide what should remain or go from their childhood days. They are transitioning to adulthood and to becoming more independent. It’s also a great time for parents to imagine this new stage. While some parents like to keep their kids’ rooms in tact, others like to renovate or completely change the room’s use. Kids’ rooms might be converted to guest rooms or home offices. 

3. Surprising– We’ve seen this more frequently in the last several years; Mother Nature has dealt us some not-so-great weather surprises. We’ve had floods, hurricanes, heavy snows, and high winds. Many of our homes have survived without experiencing loss of power or damage. However, due to the extreme weather, many more have experienced damage to our homes and possessions. As a result, major decluttering was necessary in order to make repairs or because our possessions were not salvageable. Having to face these damages also provided an opening to re-evaluate, which things were most meaningful and which things were not. The weather surprises forced us to declutter.

4. Ending– Different than moving, clearing out a home after a loved one has died is another strong motivator to let go of clutter. In fact, it may be a time to let go of more than just clutter. It might involve releasing an entire lifetime of collected things. The pressure to clear out a home increases when you’re trying to sell it quickly. A home no one lives in can easily become a financial drain. So while clearing out a deceased loved ones home is a highly emotional process, decisions about letting go can become clearer in this situation. Giving your loved ones things safe passage is especially important. Safe passage means that you find new homes for those things you let go of that will benefit or be appreciated by the receiver of them.

5. Stabilizing– We can experience unanticipated medical or mental health issues that quickly requires the need for a calmer, uncluttered space. Clutter can take on a draining, negative energy, especially if a person has a low clutter tolerance. For example, if an individual has compromised mobility due to a medical condition, combined with excess household clutter, this can potentially cause harm. The motivation to declutter increases rapidly when you consider it in the context of certain medical concerns. Stabilizing a space to create a safe, peaceful environment is a huge motivator.

Have you struggled with letting go of clutter? What motivates you to release those things that are no longer wanted? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!