There are times when life goes sideways. The unthinkable happens, and you feel you have no control over anything. Your mood is dark, and hope is barely accessible. Cognitively, you understand there are no guarantees in life and that chaos is present. Yet, how do you cope? What can you do when nothing makes sense, and things feel out of control?

I don’t pretend to have the answers or know what you’re experiencing. I’m navigating this challenging time, too. Yet, I have a few strategies that are helping me, which might be helpful to you.

Instead of focusing on the areas you have no control over, shift your attention. Identify and engage in what is nourishing and within your control.

5 Courageous Coping Strategies When Life Feels Out of Control

1. Supercharge Your Self-Care

Take care of yourself. During stressful times, you might ignore the basics. However, doing that makes you feel worse and less able to cope with challenges.

Recommit to self-care basics. Get enough sleep, hydrate, eat nutritiously, and move your body. Walking in nature has additional mood-boosting benefits.

Beyond essential self-care, consider getting a massage, manicure, or pedicure. Or how about taking a yoga, exercise, or meditation class?

Be kind to yourself and engage in intentional, mood-enhancing activities within your control.

“Recommit to self-care basics.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

 2. Engage With Your Community

You might want to retreat when feeling out of sorts. However, I encourage you to do the opposite. Reach out to those who are also feeling ‘it.’ You’re not alone.

Your friends and family may be struggling, too. Connect with your loved ones. Pool your strengths while offering and receiving support.

3. Curate the Input

Scrolling social media, listening to the news, and fueling the fire may not be the healthiest choice. Cut yourself off (even if temporarily) when the external input you’re allowing adds to those out-of-control feelings.

Just as I encouraged you to eat nutritious foods to nourish your body, do something similar for your mind. Curate the input to minimize anxiety-producing thoughts and maximize ones with a more positive effect.

This could be a great time to read that new book or your favorite magazine from cover to cover. Or maybe you prefer to watch a comedy show or movie.

I’m not suggesting you ignore the outside world forever, but for this day, while building your resilience, choose to disengage with stress-inducing news. Control the input.

“Identify and engage in what is nourishing and within your control.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

4. Make Something

There is a gift in making something from nothing. What kind of something? Maybe you like to bake, write blog posts or in journals, take photographs, write poetry, or knit scarves. Perhaps you want to paint, write music, do a craft project, or create fancy cocktails.

Take control of a joy-inducing physical activity and make something. Enjoy the process and the result.

I’ve already journaled and worked on this post. Guess what else I did? I baked (and ate) some Almond Butter Chocolate Chip cookies. Fortunately, these cookies are not only delicious but also nutritious. I just have to remember to eat them in moderation. Wish me luck.

5. Declutter Your Space

Physical disorganization and chaos in your environment can affect how you feel and function. The disarray adds to a feeling of lack of control. You don’t know where things are or have the mind space to focus.

There is mood-boosting power in decluttering and organizing. The act of doing, making a change, and then experiencing the benefits of that shift is palpable.

You can’t control everything, but you can improve your corner of the world (or desk).

Human Coping Skills

Remember, you are resilient, and you have people to lean on. To help navigate challenging times, exert control in tiny yet significant ways. This won’t change everything, but it will help to calm and ground you. What coping strategies do you use when life feels chaotic?

If you need help decluttering, organizing, planning, or grounding, I’m here for you. Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.

What pace are you traveling as you transition seasons and greet the summer? Are you slowing down and taking time off for vacation? Or are you quickly filling your days to the point of exhaustion and overwhelm? Your pace directly correlates to how well you manage your time and enjoy life.

Whether or not you’re on vacation, you can integrate regular pauses during your week. Without breaks or stops, you become less efficient and productive. With moments to restore and refresh, the quality of your decisions improves. Pacing matters, especially if you want to let go of the extraneous and become more organized. Give yourself the best chance for success. Activate the power of lingering.

How can lingering increase happiness and make you a better time manager? While it may sound counterintuitive, lingering presents an opportunity for a mindful break while focusing on something enjoyable and restorative. Lingering lets you pause, appreciate, and slow down moments. You can then return to your day with a renewed focus on what you’re doing next.

Monthly Meditation and Writing Retreat

Most months, I participate in an inspiring virtual retreat led by my wonderful friend and Clarity Coach, Yota Schneider. She creates a safe, supportive space for women to gather, meditate, write, and share.

Several months ago, the retreat’s theme was “linger.” After our meditation, I wrote this passage during our free-write. It illustrates several ways lingering has had a positive effect on my life.

Thoughts About Lingering

Wet paws, conversations, and gelato. Those probably aren’t the first things that come to mind when you think of linger. However, as I calmed myself in the darkness, the faint sounds of train horns blowing juxtaposed with coyotes howling and the clock ticking. Wet paws, conversations, and gelato lingered in my mind.

Lingering is about time – the stretching, expanding, and slowing down of moments. While lingering can be thought of positively and negatively, happy stories and memories surfaced for me tonight.

Wet Paws

First, the wet paws. Our beautiful black lab, Norton, now long gone, loved going on forest walks with us. We often walked (the five of us – Steve, me, the girls, and Norton) down our block to the path in the woods that led to the Croton River. We’d go to this one spot where we climbed on the big flat rocks – each taking a seat.  We’d sit barefoot with feet dangling in the water as we watched the river flow and heard its thunderous sound. Sun rays coming through the canopy of trees warmed us.

Norton, like us, picked his rock and submerged his front paws in the river. We lingered – each enjoying this beautiful time with no agenda and nowhere to go as if time stood still. And then, for unknown reasons, Norton would get up and decide it was time to leave. So we did. The lingering was over.

Conversations

Second – conversations.  I’ve been missing my mom and two aunts (my mom’s younger sisters) a lot lately. We talked often. Our conversations meandered. Time felt like taffy – stretching and unending. We talked about love, family, and matters of the heart. We laughed, cried, and enjoyed our time together as we lingered leisurely and easily in free-flowing conversations.

The conversations with these three amazing women have ended—at least the out-loud ones have, as they are all gone.

“Lingering has restorative powers when you focus energy on positive moments.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Gelato

Lastly, gelato. I recently had a gelato ice cream cone experience that I didn’t want to end. I tried to linger as long as possible while eating it. But you know how gelato goes—it melts, so my lingering time was limited.

But as I ate this delicious mocha gelato in a cone drenched in freshly dipped warm dark chocolate, I stretched out the enjoyment for as long as possible.

Linger. To linger. Lingering. The precious moments time offers. The beautiful moments I allow myself to savor.

Wet paws, conversations, and gelato.

Lingering has restorative powers when you focus energy on positive moments. Do you linger? If so, have you noticed helpful effects on your well-being or time management? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

If you want help letting go, organizing, or managing your time better so you can enjoy life more, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or schedule a Discovery Call.  Change is possible, especially with support.

What is your relationship to change? Do you love change and readily seek it out? Or do you avoid change at all costs? It may depend on the situation. Your feelings about change are influenced by your capacity at any given moment. When you are stressed, overwhelmed, and with no energy or motivation, your capacity for change is low. However, when you’re excited and ready, even if you don’t have all the facts or steps, you have more capacity to seek changes and new opportunities.

It's important to know where you are and what you need. The outcome won’t be great if you try to make a significant change when you’re sleep-deprived and can’t think straight. At those times, instead of pushing beyond your capacity, it’s best to pull back and support what you need. That might mean more sleep, some quiet, or a walk outside.

When you’re ready to stretch and grow, pushing beyond your capacity will be possible. You can do things you’ve never done. This will require physical and emotional energy and mental toughness to stretch past your comfort zone.

“Your feelings about change are influenced by your capacity at any given moment. ”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Monthly Sharing Retreat

Each month, I participate in a fantastic virtual retreat led by my wonderful friend and Clarity Coach, Yota Schneider. She creates a safe, supportive space for women to gather, meditate, write, and share.

On a recent retreat, the theme was capacity. I wrote this passage in my journal during our free-write after the meditation, which I’m sharing with you. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how intertwined capacity is with your ability for change.

Thoughts About Capacity

One thing is for sure. My mind has the capacity to go on in a bazillion directions thinking about capacity. Knowing that, I will take one of the tangents and go with it.

Milk Bottles

I thought about a bottle. I was filling up a bottle, like those old rectangular glass milk bottles delivered to the back kitchen door when I was a kid. As I filled up this bottle with clear liquid, guess what? There was a point when it was to the top, and then, in a moment, it was spilling over. To full, overflowing, beyond capacity. What a mess!

Conferences

Next thought. I thought about a professional conference I went to. It was jam-packed with three days of learning. Experts spoke about the brain, learning differences, chronic disorganization, and more. The presenters taught us for six to eight hours each day. Between learning and socializing, my brain was too full by the end of the day. I couldn’t think or formulate a coherent sentence. My intake for the night was beyond capacity. I felt like a soaked sponge that couldn’t absorb another drop. I knew it was time to retreat to the quiet of my hotel room.

Flaco

And lastly, there’s Flaco. He is a giant Eurasian owl born in captivity to parents who also were. He lived in New York City’s Central Park Zoo for over a decade. Then, one night, someone broke into his cage, and he escaped. However, because he was born in captivity, Flaco never learned to hunt or fend for himself. He could barely fly. His capacity was contained.

After his escape, incredible things happened. He became a fascination and inspiration to New Yorkers. One man has been documenting Flaco’s adventures this past year. Flaco, who has a six-foot wingspan, can now fly. He’s a fantastic hunter and can be spotted on tops of buildings or park benches. He stretched beyond his capacity and thrived. Who says owls can’t change?

Milk bottles, conferences, and giant owls. Sometimes, we feel limited by our capacity and must stop or retreat. At other times, we feel inspired to soar to new heights.

Knowing and honoring your capacity for both is the kindest gift you can give. Know when it’s necessary to pull back. Know when it’s time to reach beyond.

Flaco the Owl | Late Night with Seth Meyers

Your Capacity for Change

Locate yourself on the change-capacity scale. Is it time to step back or extend?

If you want assistance aligning your capacity with your change goals, I’d love to help. Please email me at linda@ohsoorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or click here to schedule a Discovery Call. Change is possible, especially with support.

Last week, I wrote about the transitions we’re experiencing as the seasons change. While fall doesn’t officially begin for several weeks, its unofficial start has happened. You’re back from summer vacation, the kiddos have returned to school, and your plate is piled high with numerous projects, goals, and activities. Your schedule is packed, and your daily patterns are changing. Do you feel calm and prepared, or anxious and not ready?

Transitions can be tricky and uncomfortable. However, intregrating mindfulness into the mix can bring calm and confidence to this next phase.

There are six ways to feel ready as you prepare for your busy season. You can use these strategies for any shift you’re experiencing, such as starting a new day, month, season, year, project, or life change.

6 Ways to Mindfully Prepare for Your New Season

1. Prepare Emotionally

Your emotional state benefits greatly when you prioritize your self-care. To fortify your energy reserves and to create a positive emotional state:

• Get enough sleep

• Eat healthfully

• Hydrate

• Move your body

• Make time for just you

• Engage in nourishing activities

2. Prepare Environment

Clutter can cause blockages in your thinking, well-being, creativity, daily flow, and routines. Make time to let go of the physical things you no longer need, want, are in your way, or are no longer relevant for this new phase. Clear the path for your new season. What can you declutter now?

3. Clarify Goals & Why

Did you create an ambitious list of goals at the start of this year? This change of seasons presents an excellent time to revisit and reset. Ask:

• What one or two things do you want to accomplish this season?

• What will success look or feel like when you accomplish those?

• What is driving you to get there?

• What is your why?

Taking the time to clarify will be valuable. The clarity will help with more effortless and less stressful decision-making when your choices align with your goals and overarching why.

“Integrate mindfulness to bring calm and confidence to this next phase.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

4. Gather Your Team

The busy season makes it a terrific time to gather more support. Collect your go-to peeps- family, friends, colleagues, and professionals. There is no reason to go it alone. Who will be on your team? They can help you:

• Succeed

• Provide accountability

• Brainstorm and discuss ideas

• Navigate frustrations and challenges

• Cheer you on

5. Gather Your Resources

Aside from your ‘team,’ what else will help you prepare for this season? What physical supplies or products will be beneficial? What about finding resources for ideas or referrals?

As we’re in the back-to-school mode, images of sharpened pencils, blank notebooks, and boxes of new, colorful crayons fill my thoughts. While our kiddos are adults now and not in that stage, I remember when they were. Returning to school meant gathering the essential supplies, which helped them feel prepared and ready to learn. What do you need to feel prepared?

6. Schedule Downtime
During the fullness of this new season, plan time to stop. We aren’t designed to be constantly doing. We also need time to just be. Whether you make time daily, every week, or once a month, build breaks from the busyness. Each of us has different refueling needs. My daily mindfulness meditation practice and walks in nature keep me grounded and calm. They give me a quiet space to practice mindfulness, restore my energy, and prepare me to engage more fully after I pause.

New Podcast: Helping You Reset for the New Season

A few weeks ago, I enjoyed talking with the engaging, delightful podcast host, writer, and my new friend Kara Cutruzzula on her “Do It Today” podcast. Our conversation covered many topics, including ways to get ready for the new season. Listen to our conversation below:

If you are gathering your team and would like support from me as your Virtual Professional Organizer, let’s talk. I’d love to help as you travel on this next part of your journey. Call 914-271-5673, email me at linda@ohsoorganized.com, or click here to contact me through this site.

What helps you mindfully prepare for change? How do transition times affect you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.