Letting go creates both physical and emotional space. It also encourages growth. When we allow our unwanted belongings to be released, our spaces become less cluttered. In turn, we feel more supported being surrounded only by beautiful, useful and meaningful things. We experience less stress. When we let go of ideas that don’t serve us well, we allow space for clarity and growth.

There is also the letting go we experience as parents. It seems like moments ago when our youngest daughter, Cassie, was ready to leave for her freshman year of college. As I grappled with becoming an empty-nester and realized that life as we knew it was about to change, I started reading, Letting Go – A Parents’ Guide to Understanding the College Years by Karen Levin Coburn and Madge Lawrence Treeger. I thought it might provide some comfort and insight into this new experience. Cassie saw the book on my nightstand and asked me why I was reading it. Or in her words, “What’s up with this, Mom?” I explained that her going to college was a significant change in our lives and that reading the book might help me better understand this new stage. She responded, “Why do you have to let go? College is just borrowing me for a bit.”

“Be open and let go. Embrace your growth.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

To some degree, she was right. Very soon, she will return home for the summer. So, in a sense, college did just “borrow” her for many months. But I realize that letting go didn’t mean cutting all ties as she was thinking about. Instead, it meant letting go of the dynamic that had existed, being open to this shift, stepping back enough to give Cassie more independence, and embracing a new stage of our lives. It has been an amazing year. I’ve watched her grow as she’s taken charge of her life and college experience. I, too, have experienced growth as I’ve pursued new projects, pushed myself beyond my comfort zone, and nurtured relationships with family and friends.

If you are grappling with letting go, whether it’s clothing, papers, memorabilia, or children, recognize that it might be uncomfortable as you shift from what you know towards a new dynamic. That discomfort is a necessary part of the process. Growth and clarity are waiting for you on the other side of the uncomfortable. Be open and let go. Embrace your growth.

Things are blooming and shifting. Spring turns much of our thoughts and actions to change and letting go. Some are clearly visible like our renewed focus on decluttering our spaces. Some are internal like our struggle to release the unessential. Letting go can be looked at from many perspectives including attitude, balance, bravery and possibilities. I compiled some favorite quotes from my collection to encourage a conversation about letting go.

ATTITUDE - Letting go of the familiar or sentimental can be challenging. Nourishing our thoughts with an open attitude can make all the difference.

 “When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”

- Alexander Graham Bell

 “It’s not the daily increase but daily decrease. Hack away at the unessential.”

- Bruce Lee

BALANCE - Letting go doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Think about finding a comfortable “letting go” balance by evaluating what’s essential from what is holding you back emotionally or physically.

“A big part of letting go is recognizing when it is time to stay in a situation and when it is time to move one.”

- Darren L. Johnson

“The art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.”

- Havelock Ellis

BRAVERY - Letting go can be scary. It takes a dose of bravery and perhaps some deep breaths to allow room for growth.

“Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.”

- Raymond Lindquist

“Think about any attachments that are depleting your emotional reserves. Consider letting them go.”

- Oprah Winfrey

POSSIBILITIES - Letting go is about change and growth. When we let ourselves venture forth, we move out of our own way to set the stage for positive outcomes.

“Every exit is an entry somewhere.”

- Tom Stoppard

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”

- Lao Tzu

Have you encountered any successes or challenges with letting go?  What’s possible for you now?

Preparation is essential when it comes to letting go. It’s being in a state of readiness. I became acutely aware of the connection between preparation and letting go on my recent trip to San Diego. I was away for almost a week as an attendee and exhibitor at NAPO’s annual conference for professional organizers. I didn’t just walk out the door. I needed to get ready both mentally and physically in order to leave my normal routine and enjoy the adventure ahead.

This idea of preparing to let go resonated with me. Many of us experience challenges in this arena whether we are letting go of places, people or things.

8 Ways to Prepare to Let Go

If you are having difficulty letting go, perhaps some of my thoughts about preparation will help you to move forward.

1. Plan – To leave things behind, it helps to know that they are in good shape. This might involve organizing our papers, arranging our family’s schedules, or finding resources to donate our treasures. Knowing that our affairs are in reasonable order helps prepare us to move ahead.

2. Focus – Be in the moment. It’s so common to dwell on the past or worry about the future. Focusing on where you are enables you to enjoy the present and let go when the time comes.

3. Embrace – While being in the moment is important, preparing emotionally to embrace the joy that will come from change is key. Letting go can be painful, but presents us with wonderful opportunities that we couldn’t have imagined otherwise.

4. Emote – When letting go is involved, our emotions will be too. Expect a range of feelings from distress to elation. These and everything in between are normal. Allowing yourself to feel along the journey is key in letting go and processing your experiences.

5. Dare – Helen Keller said, “Life is a daring adventure or nothing.” Bravery is required to let go of the familiar and forge ahead to the unknown. Take a deep breath and tap into your brave side.

6. Control – The opposite of letting go is control. For many of us, the unwillingness to relinquish control prevents us from moving forward. Interestingly though, by giving up some control, we allow ourselves and those near us to flourish.

7. Rejuvenate– Leaving behind our schedules, lives or clutter can renew our energy, increase our focus and move us in new directions. Letting go rejuvenates our spirit and gives us a chance to look at things from a refreshed perspective.

8. Dream – Imagine the positive for what our lives, spaces and relationships will be like when we allow ourselves to let go of the things that are holding us back. While none of us can predict the future, filling our thoughts with positive expectations can motivate us to let go.

Let’s return for a moment to my San Diego trip. Before I left there were many things I had to let go of.  I focused on the word “reasonable,” while I negotiated between the fantasy and reality of what I wanted to accomplish before leaving. This blog post was one of those items. I ran out of both time and energy to write it before leaving. Instead, I renegotiated with myself about what was possible. This allowed me to let go of the “shoulds,” find satisfaction in the “dids,” and enjoy the “what ifs.”

I’d love to hear from you. What helps shift you into a state of readiness?

I like many things. One of them is Yogi Tea. While the tea is delicious, what I like most are the sayings they put on every tea bag hangtag. Each time I make a cup of tea, it’s like opening a fortune cookie, which I also love. There is a moment of anticipation as I grab my glasses to read the Yogi Tea wisdom. I pause to reflect about the idea.

At a recent teatime, the hangtag said, “True wealth is the ability to let go of your possessions.”  Since we’ve just begun our first full month of spring and my blog will be focusing this month about letting go, it seemed like the ideal time to share the Yogi Tea bag story.

It’s an interesting quote because in our society, the message emphasized is often about collecting, gathering and acquiring bigger and better. Marketers encourage us to accumulate more money and stuff.

In contrast, as a professional organizer for almost 20 years, I’ve been helping people manage, organize and de-acquire their things. The amount of papers, toys, clothing, collections and supplies have become overwhelming for many.  People crave simplicity and calm both internally and externally. The acquisition and management of those possessions is often at the root of much of their daily stress and anxiety.

The Yogi quote also made me think about who we are in relation to our things. Do our possessions define who we are? Or, is our true self worth deep within, having nothing to do with what we own, how we dress, or the things that surround us?

Lastly, I wonder if our things have taken over our lives to the degree that they are preventing us from moving ahead. What about the idea of letting go in order to be able to go forward? Are your things preventing growth? Are they taking up too much mental energy, time and space? Are they taking you away from what is most important to you?

All I wanted was a cup of tea. I got so much more.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on letting go, the tea quote or anything else you’d like to share. What are you thinking?