Last year the “Ask the Expert” feature was introduced on The Other Side of Organized blog! It quickly became a big success as we enjoyed inspiring conversations with industry leaders such as best-selling author Gretchen Rubin, time management guru Julie Morgenstern, and organizer and coach extraordinaire Denslow Brown. For 2013, the interview series continues with another dynamic group of experts. I’m thrilled to begin this year with author, coach and organizer, Sue West to share her wisdom about fresh starts.
Sue and I met several years ago through our professional organizing association, ICD. We’ve had many wonderful conversations about organizing, coaching, writing, life balance, and transitions. I am honored to know her as a friend and colleague. My gratitude and thanks goes to Sue for taking the time to join us. Before we begin, here’s more about her.
Sue West, CPO-CD, CPO, COC is a professional organizer, coach, and the author of Organize for A Fresh Start: Embrace Your Next Chapter in Life. She specializes in helping clients with life changes and transitions. Her clients have called her insightful, wise, inspiring, filled with hope, and gentle yet productive. Working primarily with people at mid-life or beyond, Sue works by phone or in person and holds workshops. You can connect with Sue on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Pinterest, website and blog.
Linda: You’re an expert on helping others navigate life transitions. What is your favorite tip for negotiating uncharted territory?
Sue: I've always loved Oprah's column, "What I know for sure." If you think about a big life change you've gone through, remember that feeling of being off-kilter? We often focus on what we don't know, what's sad or uncomfortable, or seemingly impossible. So I always ask my clients, "What DO you know?" Focus on what's to be appreciated, what's working, what you know for sure (or almost sure, if you're feeling like a perfectionist). Once we start feeling stronger, we can move on.
Linda: Fresh starts can be enervating or draining. What are a few strategies to help minimize overwhelm?
Sue: Think "chapters" of time. Say you're starting a new business. This change affects your finances, sleep, exercise, nutrition, time for other interests, and many aspects of your life. Overwhelm can set in. Brainstorm with yourself or a coach, and get it all out of your head. On a second pass, break up your list by chapters in time and tackle one round of changes at a time. A chapter could be when you start up, but still have a full-time job. A next chapter is when you decrease your full time hours, and so on.
Ask, “What's giving and what's taking my energy?” Hit the "pause" button for a few minutes daily and ask yourself those two questions. You'll gain perspective and able to change things for the better.
Clear some physical space such as a desk, a shelf, or your home. Clearing the visual horizon clears your mind, is cathartic and energizing. People gain clarity and even control as they go through their things.
More now than ever, use your preferred method of organizing your life.There's normally some mental or emotional fog, whether it's a positive or difficult life change. To mitigate its impact, take extra care to keep up your to do list and calendar. It is empowering in a time of change.
Linda: A clean slate is an opportunity. How can we prepare physically or emotionally to experience positive results?
Sue: When you've felt this way before, what strategies did you use? What strengthens and supports you?Similar strategies are likely to work now. One of my clients had been using a lot of her time caring for her mother – visiting, errands, paperwork, finances, medical appointments, etc. When her mother died, my client was at a loss as to what to do with her newly found time… but lack of purpose.
My client worked with both a therapist and me to move forward, letting go of some of her past. She returned to what she had done before during difficult times, writing memories and stories about her mother. To her, it was useful to process her emotions, but also this reminded her to share stories with family, to honor her mother. By letting go, my client was less pulled by the past, and more open to what lay ahead.
We incorporated her parents' things into her home, without overwhelming her space with too much of the past. Keep items that signify your strengths, your values and key memories.
Then we worked together on ways to fill her time with new purpose. She returned to hobbies and volunteer interests she had given up a long time ago - a wonderful and comfortable place for a new start.
Linda: Do you have a philosophy about new beginnings?
Sue: Our lives are a series of chapters. As you move to the next chapter, bring some of the past forward; don't ignore it because you feel the need to "start over." Build on what you know such as your strengths, your interests, values and your tried and true ways to bolster yourself. My parents taught me to look for the best in each person and for what I could learn. The same is true here, for our own selves!
Linda: What has been your biggest personal challenge around second chances?
Sue: I was raised to be self-motivated. I went through a set of big life changes about 10 years ago, and had a fresh start right in front of me. And yet, my closest friends believed in me more than I did. Thank goodness for my temporary life preservers! Reliance on other people didn't mean I'd become dependent on them or lose myself again. We need life preservers sometimes; it's a sign of strength and wisdom to invite in assistance.
Linda: Is there anything you’d like to share about fresh starts that I haven’t asked?
Sue: If something seems impossible, ask, “What is one small part of this that could be possible?” If you're intent on a particular outcome, you'll miss the thing you needed to see along the way.
Thank you, Sue for your insights about transitions and fresh starts. There are so many nuggets of wisdom here, along with messages of hope. The idea of respecting and recognizing what you DO know as a focus for embracing the next chapter, resonates with me. I also responded to your idea of using our “temporary life preservers,” particularly when we’re going through major life changes. Your perspective that reaching out for help is a show of strength and wisdom, is refreshingly positive.
I invite all of you to join Sue and me as the conversation continues. We’d love to hear your thoughts about transitions, chapters, fresh starts, or anything else you’d like to share. Which ideas are you thinking about?
The type of “new” I’m talking about doesn’t come in a box or a bag. The power of this type of new comes in doing something you’ve never done. This new can push you past the procrastination, beyond the fear, and outside your comfort zone. This type of new can bring fun, joy, and clarity back to your days. Positive energy is generated when you commit to the goals you’ve been dreaming about, and then take the next action step.
