Life includes both holding on and letting go.

Loss is often associated with letting go. In these past weeks, my heart has ached for my friends, family, and colleagues that have lost their loved ones. I’m thinking of Judy, Steve, Laurene, Karen, Gail, Kathleen, Stacey and Deb who have laid to rest their father, mother, aunt, brother, son, and friends. As they’ve been covered in a blanket of sadness they’ve also found comfort and strength in sharing treasured stories with their community of friends and family.

Losing our loved ones is the most direct, visceral type of letting go. It is painful. Yet even when someone’s physical being is no longer with us, we’re able to remember and feel joy through the memories we have.

We’ve all been there, haven’t we? You know the feeling. Our sea of to dos, projects, and lists overwhelms and paralyzes us. We feel deflated or defeated before we’ve taken action. No matter how much we’ve accomplished, we’re convinced we’ll never get organized or be done.

Last week I wrote about the value of taking a breath and pausing. Let’s add another strategy, the idea of going “smaller,” to our conversation about next.

Do you want to feel wonderful instead of overwhelmed? One effective technique is to make “next” smaller. Hold the big picture in view yet focus on that next tiny action step that will bring you closer to your goal.

Let’s say you want to organize all the papers in your home. They’re around the house in piles, bags and bins. The sheer volume is overwhelming. Break down the large project into smaller ones. Organize one room at a time. If one room is overwhelming, go smaller. Try one drawer or stack at a time. If that’s still too big, think even smaller and decide about one paper at a time. Make the next step small enough to motivate forward movement.

Here’s what will happen. With each decision you’ll get closer to your goal and experience a mini success. Do that happy dance. With each decision, you’ll feel better (wonderful in fact,) and less overwhelmed.

How do we eat an apple? If we attempt to devour the entire apple in one single bite, we’ll choke. Instead by taking one small, manageable bite at a time, we’re able to enjoy our snack with the energy to continue on.

What will next look like for you? How small can you make your next step? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation.

There’s busy and then there’s busy. We all have days or periods of time when we get away from purposeful action and instead feel pulled by emergencies or other people’s agendas. We get caught in that whirlwind of activity, but not necessarily activity we’ve chosen.

Perhaps we’ve lost sight of that “white space” in our schedules. In fact, not only have we lost sight of it, we’ve completely lost it. There is none. We’re scheduled from morning until night. We’re on the go with no time to think or regroup. We can function like this for a while, but soon overwhelm, exhaustion, and confusion sets in.

It’s time. It’s time to pause. It’s time to stop and take a few deep, long breaths. Before doing that next thing…stop. Before making that next decision…stop. Just breathe. Nice and slowly. Breathe. Regroup.

Next will become clearer. Next will become more purposeful.

Have you experienced the power of breathing? Has it helped you reset where you are? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation.

When we prepare for the next step whether it’s small or big, it’s more likely that we’ll move forward successfully. Getting ready looks different for each of us. I was curious about my colleagues’ experiences, so I reached out to this wonderful group – Valentina Sgro, Cameron Gott, Anne Blumer, Seana Turner, Janet Barclay, and Sue West. I asked them, “How do you prepare for next?” Their responses are diverse and inspiring. My deepest gratitude goes to each of them for sharing their wisdom with us.

How do you prepare for next? . . .

Daydream

“Daydreaming is my key element when 'preparing for next.' Some might use the word ‘visioning,’ but that doesn’t quite capture it for me. I don’t like surprises; I like a lot of lead time. That allows me to do a lot of daydreaming, playing out in my mind the different ways the ‘next’ thing can look or be. Sure those thoughts lead to some solid information-gathering to form a plan of action, but it’s the creation of alternate scenarios in my mind that guide me to the path I want to take. Maybe that’s why I’ve become a novelist.”

Valentina Sgro – Author of Patience Oaktree organizing novels and short stories 

Practice

“I’m relatively new to the game of ‘prepare for next’ since most of my years I was a card carrying member of the ‘back into next’ club. As a decent responder I’d react and respond my way into what was next - school, relationships, professions.  I’d let my positive and negative emotions dictate my next move. I would often over extend myself. Now I practice a more proactive stance and embrace preparation as an absolute for what is next.”

Cameron Gott, PCC – Mentor Coach, ADHD Coaching for Small Business Owners & Entrepreneurs

Celebrate

“As I ponder on the question, ‘How do you prepare for next?’ my mind immediately jumps to, how will I prepare for the next chapter in my life? In one year my son and daughter will both graduate from college. We recently have lost one family pet and now our golden retriever has days, maybe weeks to live. I find the next chapter is preparing myself for a very, very empty nest. To prepare, I¹m going to celebrate with my children their achievements and their next chapter. And, I will make a book of memories of our family pets to commemorate them. In short to prepare for next, I celebrate and commemorate.”

Anne Blumer, CPO® – Professional Organizer, Author & Blogger

Imagine

“The tricky thing about ‘next’ is that it’s shrouded in uncertainty. This can be intimidating, because it feels a bit out of control. For me, preparing for what’s next includes spending time considering various scenarios, and how I would like to respond. We never know what is behind the next door, but we can put some structure around how we will open the door, the way we will take our first steps, who we might walk with, and what will bring along. It’s also helpful to minimize daily, ambient chaos to free up the energy we need to tackle something new.”

Seana Turner – Professional Organizer, Blogger & Life Coach

Generate

“I can become overwhelmed by new projects or big changes in my life or my business, but making a list of every task that has to be completed helps me to stay in control. Instead of waiting until I have a huge chunk of available time to focus on the project, I can delegate some tasks and chip away at others as my schedule allows and get to the next step without having to neglect other personal and professional commitments.”

Janet Barclay, MVA – Web Designer, Virtual Assistant & Blogger 

Visualize and Verbalize

“If I cannot visualize myself in a new situation or mindset, that’s my clue that I have more to prepare. It could be that I have not internalized the new situation and its impact or the presentation’s content, the project’s steps, or the client’s particulars. Project management and coaching also teach us that we cannot control every reaction, detail, or situation. Bigger risks I process aloud with a trusted individual. Lesser risks, I use self-talk, a voice recorder, or mind mapping. All are ways to get everything out of my head, see the full picture and create space to think, prepare and question.”

Susan Fay West, COC®, CPO-CD® – Certified Organizing Coach, ADHD Coach & Certified Professional Organizer in Chronic Disorganization

What great tips my colleagues shared about preparing for next. Several ideas center on having ponder-time. Other ideas include celebrating, making lists, and talking out loud. For me, next often begins with thinking, writing, or conversing. Which ideas resonate with you? How do you prepare for next? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!