Several months ago, while on a day-trip adventure visiting the New York Botanical Garden, I stopped in their gift shop to look around. They had beautiful, healthy plants for sale. One, in particular, caught my attention. It was a small, happy plant with a life-affirming sense about it. Even though the plant was still, its bright green leaves appeared to dance and swirl with joyful movement. I brought it home and placed it on my kitchen counter. Every time it catches my glance, it makes me smile. Are you wondering what this story has to do with perspective shifts, change, and fresh starts?  Please stick with me. I’m getting there.

A week ago, I noticed that my happy plant wasn’t looking so good. The leaves had some brown spots and were droopy. The soil was moist, so it didn’t need watering.  I admit that while I love plants, my husband is the green thumb of the house. He waters, cares for, and repots them as needed. I am the resident enjoyer. However, this little guy needed something right away. While we have natural light in our kitchen, the plant wasn’t getting direct sunlight like some of our others. So I decided to move it to the windowsill in the dining room. I thought it might thrive more in a different location. 

Within a day, my plant perked up and looked like its happy self again. It clearly responded to the new view and sun-filled spot. And sometimes, it’s that simple. When we cease to thrive, making one tiny change can give us that energy boost and fresh start we need. If you think of yourself like the plant, it was enjoying its corner until it wasn’t. A change was needed. Do you ever feel that way? You are ok, and then you’re not. You are thriving, and then a life shift or transition happens, and what used to work no longer does. Or maybe you just become complacent staying in the same place? Is that a familiar experience?

When this happens, we might think that a significant change is warranted. But sometimes, one small shift in perspective, location, or routine can provide the spark that’s necessary to move you forward in a positive direction.

Where are you feeling stagnant? What slight shift can you make that will encourage a fresh start? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to leave a comment and join the conversation.

With close to a week into the New Year it already feels like time is flying by. Parties, late nights, gift-wrapping, and odd schedules are behind us as we slowly return to our usual patterns. Some of us, including me, are finishing the last of the holiday leftovers, or making promises to eat more healthfully, exercise more regularly, or declutter and organize our interior landscapes.

January is an especially great time to reflect and reset. We get an added boost from the “fresh start effect,” which is even more potent at the start of a New Year. One technique that can enhance your fresh start is the Three Things Reflections, which I created recently. With a small time investment of 20-30 minutes, this series of questions will guide you to reflect about the past year as you set intentions and hopes for this new one. It’s hard to have clarity about the present before taking the time to honor and let go of the past. 

With this in mind, I give you the Three Things Reflections. There are six pairs of questions. Each pair includes a question about the past year and a coordinating one about the current year. Feel free to answer all sets, only the ones that resonate with you, or substitute questions of your choosing. This can be a private or shared experience as you reflect back and future-think. You can write down your responses or have a conversation about them with friends or family. 

Three Things Reflections

1a. What were three things you learned this past year?

1b. What are three things you want to learn in 2020?

2a. What are three memorable moments from this past year?

2b. What three things are you looking forward to in 2020?

3a. What were three challenges you experienced this past year?

3b. What are three strengths you used with those challenges that you will bring to 2020?

4a. What are three places you enjoyed being last year?

4b. What are three places you’re looking forward to going to in 2020?

5a. What three words describe this past year?

5b. What three words do you hope will describe 2020?

6a. What are three things you said “yes” to this past year?

6b. What are three things you hope to have the opportunity to say “yes” to in 2020?

Bonus Questions

7a. Is there anything about the past year that is not reflected in these questions that you want to remember?

7b. Is there anything about the current year that is not reflected in these questions that you want to add?

On New Year’s Eve, we invited a small group of friends over. While we didn’t talk about all of these questions, we did discuss some of them. In the days that followed, I wrote out my responses to all of them. After doing so, I added two bonus questions. They were the icing on the cake and helped me to grasp the last year and the coming in a fuller, more vibrant way.

We each have unique ways of moving through time, setting goals, and intentions. I hope you’ll find the Three Things Reflections a valuable technique to enhance your fresh start. Do you have another approach that you use?. Do you have other questions to add to the ones I shared?  What are you looking forward to this year? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!

We’re in the home stretch of the year with just a few days remaining until the New Year and decade. What has life been like for you these past few weeks? Have things been quieter, or have you experienced a flurry of activity? Has your balance felt off or just right? I’ve missed being here with you for the last several weeks. Between the holidays, parties, hosting, visiting, organizing, and launching my new website, I took a short blogging hiatus.

The last few weeks have felt different from other times of the year. It’s useful to do a simple “balance check-in. So if your scale has tipped too much in one direction, take a pause to reflect and adjust. I have five questions to get you started.

Simple “Balance” Check-In

1. Are you feeling exhausted?

If your sleep patterns have been off, evaluate the amount of sleep you need to feel better. Maybe you can turn in early tonight or sleep a bit longer in the morning. What do you need now?

2. Are you feeling stuffed?

If too many holiday cakes, pies, cocktails, and snacks are making you feel full and sluggish, pay attention to what you’re taking in. My eating patterns have shifted because of the holidays. My body is shouting- “Reduce the sugar and up the vegetable intake!” What is your body telling you?

3. Are you feeling talked out?

If you’ve been socializing more than usual, notice whether this is causing you stress. Maybe you need to balance the “outer” time with some alone time. While I love spending time with family and friends, I’m also aware that I need time to be. What are you sensing now?

4. Are you feeling disorganized?

If you’ve been traveling, entertaining, or disengaging from your regular routines, you might be feeling more disorganized than usual. It’s easy to get out of sorts when our regular patterns are altered. Edit the excess, revisit routines, and restore some order.

5. Are you feeling restless?

If you are winding up the current projects and also anticipating changes and goals for the coming year, you might be feeling anxious. Transitions can be challenging, especially when we shift from one year to the next. Reflect on past successes, let go of the ideas that no longer serve you, and set an intention for the New Year. Get ready for your clean slate.

Endings come, and new beginnings arrive. As you straddle the two, what is most helpful to restore balance? Do you have other questions to add to the mix? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation!

Even though we’re in the midst of the busy holiday season, it’s still useful to think about how you balance your days, weeks, months, or life. What does the word “balance” conjure up for you? Some of us might laugh and say,

“Balance! What balance?” or

“There’s no such thing as balance, at least not in my lifetime.”

Or, “Balance is neither achievable nor desirable.”

Do any of these resonate with you? I know you have a lot on your plate with navigating work, family, self-care (yes, self-care!), gatherings, carpooling, organizing, and a host of other responsibilities, obligations, and hats that you wear.

We each have a unique relationship to balance and what it means. For me, I’ve come to appreciate that there are times when my life feels more in sync and times when it definitely feels less so. I’ve always been hyperaware of altering the mix and focus of my life to create a combination that feels right. Is my balance always good? No, of course not. However, it has been a priority and consideration from the time I was very young.

Recently, I was remembering that as a kid, I used to play the board game, Careers. Do you remember it? While I don't recall all of the rules, I do remember the premise. Each player had a secret formula they created. It was comprised of 60 points that you could divvy up any way you liked into the categories Fame, Fortune, and Happiness. You would move around the game board collecting points in the various categories. When your points matched your formula, you’d win.

Before writing this post, I researched a bit more about the game. The funny thing is I incorrectly remembered the categories as Fame, Money (instead of Fortune), and Love (instead of Happiness). My memory was almost right, but not exactly. 

Anyway, here’s the intriguing part. This was a game that I played starting at age five or six. Every time I played, I always created the same secret formula. Can you guess what it was? I used 20-20-20, equally dividing the points between Fame, Fortune, and Happiness. Even as a young kid, I was thinking about life balance. As I look back, it seems like my “Careers” formula has manifested into an even balance in these areas. Who knew that an innocent childhood game could have such a profound effect on my life?

Whether you played Careers as a kid or not, thought about balance or not, or feel like the idea of balance is completely out of reach, you can alter your mix at any time. Developing an awareness of your priorities and whether those align with your choices is the next step. What do you want more or less of? Where are you feeling overwhelmed? What will help you feel less overwhelmed?

As we wrap up one year and enter a new one and decade, what changes are you considering? What will help you move more towards the balance that you desire? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!