Especially for many of you in the northeast, this has been a rough bunch of weeks with one nor’easter after the next. While our home had heat, water and power, many of our friends and neighbors weren’t so lucky. People were displaced and frustrated. When the basics of life that we rely on and frankly often take for granted, are no longer available, everything about daily living becomes more challenging. Our equilibrium is disturbed. Figuring out which steps to take next feels overwhelming.

Last week, I attended Amy Reyer’s wonderful workshop on meditation, mindfulness and attentional intelligence. Several of the people in the class had been or knew people that were affected by the storm. Some felt anxious about returning home to uncertainty due to the storm. One of the ideas from the workshop that stuck with me was “patient attention.” What we pay attention to and cultivate manifests in our lives. That could be compassion, relationships or anything. The more we pay attention to that thing, the more it grows. The other idea discussed was that attention is a skill. Meditation helps cultivate that skill.

So how does this relate to next? In times of stress(be it storms, loss of loved ones, or health challenges), we need to be gentle, patient and kind to ourselves. We can focus our attention in that positive way. That will look and feel different for each person. Take the time you need to let next unfold slowly. Clarity will come.

A Gentle Next Step

Are you gentle with yourself during challenging times? What helps you take next steps? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!

Does this sound familiar? You’re ready to start your day. You’ve already dressed, showered, and had your breakfast. For all intensive purposes, you want to get going. However, you’re not quite settled or ready to begin. You might be feeling unsure of which project or task to start next. Maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed with the enormity of your to do list. You might be feeling uncomfortable, unsettled or anxious.

This is the perfect opportunity to introduce some mindfulness to help you find your next step.

5 Mindful Ways to Discover Your Next Step

Start With Your Breath

Using an anchor helps us to notice where we are. Your breath works beautifully as a place to focus. You can access it anywhere at anytime. Take a comfortable position sitting in a chair, standing, or even lying down. If it helps, you can close your eyes. Focus on your breathing. Don’t force it. Take a few minutes to notice your natural patterns of breathing in and breathing out. Let your attention focus solely on your breath. If your mind begins to wander, as minds will do, just bring your attention back to your breath. Breathing in…breathing out. The act of shifting your focus to your breath will help you think more clearly and calmly and make room for your next step.

Add a Dose of Gratitude

Before deep diving into figuring out next, take a few minutes to express gratitude. This can be done as informally or formally as you’d like. You can simply think the thoughts or write them down. There are no rules here. You can think about just one thing or person that you are grateful for, or you can generate a longer list. Take a few mindful minutes to focus your energy in this positive way. Expressing gratitude is another way of anchoring you and making you more open and available for next.

Secure What You Need

When we’re about to embark on a project or new task, it’s challenging to do that if we haven’t taken care of our needs. Ignoring them can leave us antsy. Take a few more minutes to notice what you need to feel settled. For example, before sitting down to write, I like to make a nice, big mug of tea that I can sip between thoughts. I make sure I’ve used the bathroom. I minimize distractions like closing out open windows on my desktop. Taking care of my basic needs, helps me to better focus on what comes next. We often ignore our needs. Slowing down long enough to be mindful of where we are and what we need is essential.

Make the Selection

Have you got a to do list? Is it floating around your head or written down? While I prefer a written list for myself, there’s no right or wrong here. However, for the selection part, I highly recommend capturing the options in some written form so that you can review them. It doesn’t have to be fancy or official. Keep in mind that most of us have many things to do in our lifetime. None of those things get done in a single day. Instead we make choices each day to do or not do what we need and want to do. With that in mind, and in order to keep overwhelm at bay, create a list of no more than three things. Don’t worry. If you complete those things, you can add more. And also remember that tomorrow is another day. But for today, for this next, just write a list of three. Now it’s time to choose. To help you decide think about things like:

• Do I have time today to work on this?

• Do I have the energy needed to focus?

• Would this step be better accomplished at another time or day?

• Does this have a deadline?

• Is this a priority?

• If I didn’t accomplish this, would it matter?

• Can I remove this from my list altogether?

• Can this be delegated to someone else?

• Do I want to get some quick and easy things accomplished quickly to get my motor going?

Remember, there’s no wrong choice. Remove judgment. Maybe next will be organizing the junk drawer, removing the extra hangers from your closet, or making plans for that upcoming party. You’re simply working on that next step. Build from there.

Take Your Next Step

Congratulations! You’ve anchored yourself with breathing and gratitude, taken care of your basic needs, and selected what you’d like to do next. You’re ready for action. Remember that next involves actually doing something. You’ve used some simple mindfulness strategies to arrive at this point. As you experience next, stay in the moment. Whatever you’ve chosen, allow yourself to be there with it. Focus on what you’re doing as you’re doing it- one movement, one step, and one action at a time.

What helps you figure out next? Have you used mindfulness in the process? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!

If you’re feeling overwhelmed with disorganization, with life seeming not quite right, or with wanting a change, but not knowing where to begin, you’ve come to the right place. The idea of change can paralyze us. We have the tools, but ignore the clues that daily life gives us. We move so fast that we don’t notice the indicators. Can you identify with this?

It’s not uncommon to go through our busy days on autopilot. We set up systems and patterns for convenience and efficiency, but as time goes on, things change. The systems that once worked no longer do. Or, the systems haven’t been maintained, so they no longer function. Maybe we never established effective systems in the first place. But we keep going. We ignore that things don’t feel right. Our piles of clutter irritate us, but we ignore them. We’re annoyed that we can’t get out of the door on time, but we keep getting out late each day anyway. We’re experiencing stress due to the disorganization on a regular basis, but we stuff those feelings away. Status quo has taken over and the way forward eludes us.

I’m proposing one simple, but not necessarily easy technique. Use mindfulness to help you focus on which changes to make. When we’re mindful of the present moment, we increase our awareness of our moment-by-moment experience. After all, how can we make a change if we aren’t fully aware of our challenges? I invite you to slow down. Instead of ignoring irritations during your day, note them. You don’t need to dwell on them, but increase your awareness of them. These will be your clues for identifying potential areas to change.

For example, let’s say that every day you are about to leave the house and you can’t find your keys. So each morning you go through the “hunting for keys” scenario, which in turn makes you late getting to your appointment. You’re annoyed and stressed, but you keep going anyway, repeating the same pattern day after day. You stuff that stress away. This isn’t healthy harboring this type of daily stress.

However, consider this one small tweak. Activate some mindfulness. Instead, the next time you’re late getting out of the door, notice what’s going on. Start by being present with the issue. Be mindful of your actions. What are you feeling? What are you doing? Use mindfulness to help you identify potential indicators for change. By living more mindfully, you can figure out strategies to help solve the “lost keys” and other challenges. You may be surprised when you become more aware and present. You might just notice where you stashed your keys when you come home at night. Or you might decide that it’s time to give your keys a “home” so that you can always find them.

Beginning with awareness is the key. What have you noticed about change? Have you used mindfulness in the process? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!

We often set our intentions at the beginning of each year to make this year better. Some of us are still in the intention phase, while others have moved on to make “good” on our goals. Deciding to make changes whether that’s getting more organized, eating more healthfully, or switching careers, takes a lot of energy and motivation. Some changes are forced on us, but others, we choose to embrace. Deciding to do something different is the first step, but then there’s the actual doing or adopting new habits. It’s your consistency in engaging new habits that will bring about your desired change.

Have you identified the change that you want? If so, that’s terrific! If not, stay open to the possibilities. If you’re ready for change but can’t quite get activated to do something, I suggest trying out some of these pump priming strategies to help you move forward.

7 Pump Priming Strategies for Encouraging Change

1. Read – Find information that relates to the change you desire. One of my goals was to reestablish my daily mindfulness meditation practice. I primed my pump by reading lots of books that discuss the various aspects and benefits of mindfulness practice. Just reading the language readied me to engage in beginning again.

2. Write – Collect your thoughts around the changes you seek in a journal or other writing outlet. Doing this gears your mind in a forward-moving way. It also can help you work through challenges around change and ways to encourage the cheerleader within. I used both my personal journal and public blog to help me commit to making a change. Writing can be a form of accountability.

3. Watch – If you have the opportunity to watch any programs or movies in your desired area of change that can also help. For example, I went to a movie, In Pursuit of Silence, which included a talkback with the director. Aside from it being a wonderful movie (go see it if you can,) it supported the value of integrating quiet into your life. This aligned beautifully with my goal to reestablish my mindfulness practice.

4. Review – Looking back on other times that you were engaged in positive habits or when you successfully made changes is a great way to prime your pump for change. Remembering that success breeds more success gets you ready and in the “I can” mode.

5. Search – Don’t underestimate the value of finding a community of like-minded people who value and understand the changes you seek. Investing time to find “your people” is a way of priming your pump. I recently attended an Emotional Intelligence and Mindfulness retreat led by Amy Reyer, Ph.D. She shared many local mindfulness meditation resources including local meditation groups. Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D., co-founder of the Center for Mindful Living, said, “Human connection is the ultimate ‘x’ factor in creating a sustainable practice.”

6. Connect – Talking with others about the changes you seek and the challenges you’re encountering can move you to act. It can be inspiring to talk with others who are pursuing similar changes. Supportive conversations are affirming and let you know that you’re not alone.

7. Learn – Signing up for courses that emphasize what you’re interested in changing is another great way to prime your pump. Sounds True recently sponsored a free 10-day online Mindfulness & Meditation Summit. It featured the top leaders and researchers in the mindfulness movement such as Sharon Salzberg, Kelly McGonigal, Daniel Goleman, Pema Chodron, Richard Davidson, and Jon Kabat-Zinn. After many hours of learning, it was impossible not to be excited about getting back to my practice.

These strategies do work. After a concentrated effort of pump-priming, I have re-established my daily mindfulness meditation practice. You can use these same strategies to bring about the change you seek.

What change are you ready for? What strategies help you to make the changes that you seek? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!