Are you a change embracer, or do you avoid change at all costs? Maybe your attitude is contingent on whether you are driving change or if a change is being unwillingly thrust upon you. What have you noticed? Whether you approach change positively or negatively, letting go is an integral component. Seeking change will fuel the letting go process. We can’t move forward if one foot is planted in the past. We can’t engage in the present if we’re holding on too tightly to the way things used to be. We can’t grow if we aren’t willing to let go and experiment.

In this two-part Smead podcast, my friend John Hunt interviewed me about Signals for Change. We talked about eleven different cues or indicators that let you know when it might be time to make a change. As you watch the videos, consider this question:

What do you need to let go of to embrace change?

The Signals for Change – Part 1

How do you know when it’s time to make a change? In Part 1, I review five change indicators:  Boredom, spark, sleeplessness, drama, and dings. What role does letting go play in the changes you seek?

The Signals for Change – Part 2

Letting go is an integral part of the change process. In Part 2, I review six additional change cues:  Lateness, plateau, pain, environment, opportunity, and the “whoa” factor. What benefits will you experience by letting go?

Change and letting go can be stressful and challenging or exciting and freeing. Our attitude and circumstances influence how we navigate these experiences. Noticing a change indicator prepares you for the letting go process. What have you observed? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

This past week, hundreds of professional organizers and productivity consultants from around the world gathered in Ft. Worth, Texas for the annual National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professionals (NAPO) conference.  I’ve been in this industry for 26+ years, and while I haven’t gone to every meeting, I have attended many.  It’s always exciting to learn new things, keep a pulse on the industry, hang out face-to-face with wonderful colleagues, and make new friends. The learning sessions are terrific, yet it’s often the conversations between the courses that I enjoy most.

The essential education this year for me was around letting go. That theme and message continued to pop up in unexpected ways. The lessons I came away with are ones that I hope will be helpful for you too. After all, letting go can be quite challenging so adopting other strategies and perspectives can ease the process and our stress. My deepest gratitude to my NAPO, ICD and other colleagues for teaching, sharing, and exploring these letting go lessons with me.

7 Surprising Letting Go Lessons

1. You Thought You Had a Plan

When I travel, I like to organize and get my arrangements set ahead of time. While I can be spontaneous, I’m more of a planner. So months earlier I had arranged my hotel, flights, and ground transportation for the NAPO conference. At 5:50 am, and five minutes before I was leaving my house for the airport, I received a text from Southwest Air saying they had canceled my flight. After my initial shock and a few choice words, I took a deep breath and realized that Southwest makes it very easy to rebook your flight, so no need to panic. However, for some reason, all of Southwest’s trips for that day and the next four days were either canceled or sold out. I searched for a new flight on a different airline. Delta saved the day. Within 15 minutes I had booked a later trip. In turn, I arrived later than expected, but I did get to the conference.

Letting Go Lesson 1:

Let go of the plan and revise it when you need to.

2. Get Out Of Your Way

One of the first sessions I attended was about future thinking or foresight. The “Drivers of Change” brief generated by ASAE and available to NAPO members, delves into various trends that could have an influence on our business in the next ten to twenty years. We looked at some of the broad categories but spent most of our time discussing and brainstorming in small groups about specific topics that were especially relevant for our industry. While I found it fascinating, I also recognized how challenging it was to think that far ahead. As hard as it was to future think, putting my mind in that mode generated some exciting possibilities.

Letting Go Lesson 2:

Let go of difficult to open the door to possibilities. 

3. The Research Says

Another session I enjoyed was the one describing the survey the NAPO research committee conducted. The information was hot off the press and not ready to be fully shared. However, one stat was particularly fascinating and relevant to the work I do with my clients. When asked the people surveyed how they preferred to manage the belongings they no longer wanted, 75% of them preferred to donate the unwanted and 48% preferred to give them to friends or family.

Letting Go Lesson 3:

Letting go is easier when we give our belongings to people that will use and appreciate them.

4. Take A Walk On The Wild Side

I loved the quiet one-on-one conversations with my colleagues that often happened during meals, like one of the planned evening dinners I had. When we arrived at the restaurant, they told us it would be a 45-60 minute wait since we didn’t have a reservation. Waiting didn’t bother us because the Stockyards were a lively neighborhood to explore. We meandered down the block looking at stores, taking in the sights and sounds, and happening upon the Coliseum, which housed a 100-year old rodeo. My friend, Lynne Poulton got very excited. After some recon, which included meeting a rodeo Hall-of-Famer who encouraged us to get tickets, we skipped dinner and spent the evening watching cowboys wrangle, rope, and ride. As they say in Texas, “Wee-haw!”  It was unexpected, impromptu fun and an evening I’ll never forget.

Letting Go Lesson 4:

Let go of supposed to in favor of flexibility as you might miss out on something truly spectacular.

5. Perfection Alert

Professional organizer aka stand-up comedian, Janice Simon presented an excellent workshop about resiliency. I loved her premise that making regular deposits into your resiliency bank will better equip you to handle life’s storms. She also shared that when you are going through challenging times, it’s important to adjust your expectations. Ask questions like, “What really needs to be done?”  Or “What can be cut back?” A quote she shared from Donna Smallin resonated with me. Donna said, “Done is perfect.” 

Letting Go Lesson 5:

Let go of perfection, especially when done is good enough.

6. There Is Always Room To Grow

Sessions featured workshops that addressed the chronically disorganized population. One of these courses was the panel of colleagues Alison Lush, Diane Thompson, Vickie Dellaquila, Carrie Cooper, and Gayle Gruenberg, of ICD (Institute for Challenging Disorganization.) They shared poignant stories about their clients and the process they went through to help them. The stories were emotional, and at points brought tears to my eyes. The creativity, compassion, generosity, helping spirit, and knowledge that these colleagues embodied are inspiring. What struck me most was they all went through as much learning and change as their clients did. In the process of working with their clients, these organizers learned to let go of their expectations, experiment with alternate organizing strategies, and trust in their clients’ wisdom and resourcefulness. As they let go, their clients stepped forward.

Letting Go Lesson 6:

Let go of being the expert and make space for the wisdom of others to emerge.

7.  Lean In To That Scary Stuff

The last session I attended presented by Nettie Owens was an inspiring (and way too short) workshop about reinventing your business. One of the questions she asked was, “What are you holding onto that is no longer serving you?” She then had us write on an index card, “What do I need to let go of?” along with our response below. I wrote, “doubt.”  Then she asked us to tear up the card, which we obediently did. Once torn, she implored us to toss the pieces up in the air. Think confetti flying. Being the organizers that we were, this made us viscerally uncomfortable. We didn’t want to make a mess that someone had to clean up. Understanding our demographic, Nettie acknowledged our challenge and insisted that we do it anyway. After a short deliberation, I took the plunge and threw my pieces as high into the air as I could. What a liberating feeling! As I tossed the papers, I felt my doubt dispersing too.

Letting Go Lesson 7:

Let go of the stuff that’s holding you back.

As I continue to think about my time away, I know that more letting go lessons will surface. However, in the effort to follow Donna’s advice of “Done is perfect,” I’m going to wrap things up here. Did any of these letting go lessons resonate with you? Have you experienced a different letting go lesson? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

For my clients, the most challenging aspect of the organizing process is letting go. The desire for organization, calm, peace, and having less stuff is real. But the process for getting “there,” especially during the editing phase can cause strong emotions like fear, anxiety, or paralysis. Have you or someone you know encountered this?

Why is it so hard to let go? How can we make the process less painful and more positive?

Our stuff represents many things including:

• Who I once was

• Who I hope to be

• Places I’ve been

• People I’ve loved

• Projects I want to do

• Projects I’ll never do

• Things I love

• Things received and never looked at again

• Right purchases

• Wrong purchases

• Gifts received

• Gifts to be given

• Broken parts waiting to be repaired

• Unidentified parts

• Clothing I wear

• Clothing I’ll never wear

The list goes on and on. 

So when we begin to face our stuff and decide what is essential to keep like the “spark joy” and practical items and let go of the things that have overstayed their welcome, choosing can be more difficult than we anticipated. You might experience heightened emotions, resistance, or avoidance. All of these are entirely normal.

Just because it’s hard, doesn’t mean you can’t let go. It only indicates that you might need some strategies for navigating the turbulent waters. 

8 Helpful Tips for Letting Go More Easily

1. Clarify Why 

As I mentioned above, emotions can hijack our decision-making ability, so having a clear picture of why we want to let go is crucial. Are you downsizing? Are you about to welcome a new family member to your home? Is your clutter preventing you from inviting people over? Get clear around your why.  When you’re feeling challenged with letting go, revisit your why. It will keep you motivated and focused.

2. Reach Out

Sometimes it’s better not to go it alone. If you’re struggling, it can be beneficial to enlist help from a friend, family member, or professional organizer like me. Look for someone who is nonjudgmental, compassionate, energetic, and can keep you focused on your objectives.

3. Pace Yourself

Recognize that making decisions takes mental and physical energy. Too many decisions can cause decision fatigue, which can deteriorate the quality of your choices. Be mindful of how you’re feeling. Take breaks as needed by getting some fresh air, having a snack, sipping a drink, or taking a bio break. Remove yourself from the area and then come back refreshed.

4. Set Boundaries

If you have a lot of editing to do, especially if you’re preparing for a move or rightsizing, set goals for how much time you want to spend editing and letting go each day. Experiment with what works best for you. Use a timer and stop when it dings. At the next session either reduce or add time considering how that previous letting go sitting went.

5. Prepare Setting

Make letting go as easy as possible by making your supplies readily accessible. Have bags, boxes, bins, tape, sticky notes, markers, pens, a pad of paper available to contain and label the items that will be donated, sold, or discarded. The key is to have things exit quickly, ideally the same day if that’s realistic. If the same day is not an option, set up a waiting area for the items that will be leaving. 

6. Safe Passage

Being able to donate or give your belongings to a person or resource that will appreciate and benefit from them can ease the letting go stress. This gives your things an easier exit or safe passage. It’s worth making a list of resources that you will feel good giving things away to. The list can include friends, family, local or national charities. I am a resource collector. Sharing these with my clients is involved in the organizing services that I provide. If you need a specific type of donation resource, let me know. I’m happy to help.

7. Just Do It

I know that Nike coined that phrase, but it’s a good one to keep in mind especially when your resistance surfaces. The amazing thing is that the more you exercise your letting go muscles, the more relaxed and less painful the process becomes. Action breeds success. Success encourages progress. Progress gets you from where you are to where you want to be. Trust the power of action, even if it’s one small step. Don’t deliberate. Do.

8. Be Patient

It’s easy to get discouraged when you spent three hours sorting and editing, yet there’s still so much more to do. This is how it is. Be patient with the process. You collected your things over a lifetime. Editing them won’t take a lifetime, but it will take some time. Keep your big goal in mind, be kind to yourself along the way, release the “coulda, woulda, shoulda” and continue on until you’ve let go of enough. You determine what enough looks like.

What have you encountered with letting go? Do you have a favorite strategy that’s helpful? Do any of these resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Here we are now. Spring is officially arriving this week. You may be sensing rumblings within as you notice nature changing around you. You might be poised and at the brink of wanting to take your next small step towards a new or current goal. You might also be feeling anxious, ambivalent, fearful, excited, ready or not. When I help others to organize and find balance during times of transition and change those next steps are crucial. Taking one tiny stride after another propels us ahead.

Over the 26 plus years I’ve been organizing, I’ve observed that the critical ingredient for next, as the condiment of life, is the ability to let go. Without releasing, there will be no forward movement. Letting go doesn’t happen overnight. We need to exercise our letting go muscles by starting small. This strengthens our tolerance while building confidence. It’s essential to release the “stuff” of life (physical and emotional) that won’t be useful to you on this part of your journey.  

Consider next steps and letting go as a beautiful, poignant dance between the heart, mind, and body.

As many of you know, I have a daily mindfulness meditation practice. I like to work with guided meditations led by various practitioners. One of the teachers I listen to on the Insight Timer app is Annemaree Rowley from Australia. One of my favorite teachings of hers is the “Letting Go Meditation.” At the end of the practice, she shares a profound poem by the poet, Erin Hanson about letting go. I love the message and I hope that it will also resonate with you.

I was the type of person,

That held onto things too tight,

Unable to release my grip,

When it no longer felt right,

And although it gave me blisters,

And my fingers would all ache,

I always thought that holding on,

Was worth the pain it takes.

I used to think in losing things,

I’d lose part of me too,

That slowly I’d become someone,

My heart no longer knew.

Then one day something happened,

I dropped what I had once held dear,

But my soul became much lighter,

Instead of filled with fear.

And it taught my heart that some things,

Aren’t meant to last for long,

They arrive to teach you lessons,

And then continue on.

You don’t have to cling to people,

Who no longer make you smile,

Or do something you’ve come to hate,

If it isn’t worth your while.

That sometimes the thing you’re fighting for,

Isn’t worth the cost,

And not everything you ever lose,

Is bound to be a loss.

- e.h.

What have you experienced about next steps and letting go? Did any phrases from Erin Hanson’s poem spark an idea? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.