Given that it’s the era of iPhone, iPad, iThis and iThat, I thought that it would be interesting to add a few more iThings to the list. How about iHelp and iAskforhelp? These are very different yet equally important. We tend to lean more heavily towards one “i” than the other. Which direction do you gravitate towards?

Let’s dig deeper by asking some questions.

iHelp

• When was the last time you helped someone?

• Was it months ago? Years ago?

• Was it today or yesterday?

• Were you asked to help or did you volunteer to help?

• How often do you find yourself in the helping mode?

• Who do you help? Do you help family, friends, colleagues, or clients?

• What are the benefits you receive from helping others? 

“It’s impossible to do everything ourselves.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

iAskforhelp

• When was the last time you asked for help?

• Do you freely ask for help?

• Do you feel guilty asking others for assistance?

• Do you feel like things will get done better, faster, or more efficiently if you do them yourself?

• When you aren’t sure about the next step, do you procrastinate or reach out for help?

• What type of help are you most comfortable asking for? Is it for home repairs, life guidance, organizing help, or family care?

• What type of help are you most uncomfortable asking for?

• What prevents you from enlisting help?

• Last time you asked for help, what was the outcome?

• What are the benefits you receive by enlisting help?

While I would like to have a combination of both helping and enlisting help, I’m more often in the helping others mode between clients that are in need of organizing help, coordinating care as my mom ages in place, and my role as President for ICD.

Yet even though I’m often in the iHelp mode, I recognize the value of asking for help. It’s impossible to do everything ourselves. I’m a huge advocate of teams, especially building teams. The energy of a focused group can accomplish way more than the energy of one.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. What is your relationship to helping and enlisting help? Come join the conversation!

You know what happens when you go, go, go? You get burned out, out, out. So I’d say that my motivation to slow down is pretty darn high right now because I’ve been on the go for a long stretch…a very long stretch.

Here’s the good news. I’ve planned some time off to slow my motor. Yet, as I write this in advance of our mini vacation so that it will post while I’m off the grid, I’m still in the go, go, go mode. As a matter of fact, after I write this post I need to write my pack list and pack. And before I wrote this I had a client that needed organizing help, an interview to finish writing, bills to pay, errands to run, emails to respond to, and a rental car to return. I bet this sounds all too familiar, right?

I won’t tell you what time it is, but let’s just say, it’s late. I’ve had a bit too much caffeine today. That in combination with the adrenaline pumping will give me enough energy to sprint some more. Then I can shift into low gear. I’m looking forward to changing my pace.

The point is that I am highly motivated to slow down. I’ve been pushing and doing and doing some more. It’s time for a break. It’s time to not do. It’s time to enjoy our family and suspend all agendas and to do lists.

I’m looking forward to our road trip to the mountains where we’ll meet up with our daughters. By the time you read this, I will have had days of unwinding, decompressing, relaxing, and unplugging. I might be unrecognizable. Let’s hope so. What will relaxed look and feel like?

How about you? Will you take off time this summer? What motivates you to change your pace? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation.

What happens when you lose your groove? Do you know what I mean? You’ve established a habit. You’ve committed to a habit and then life gets in the way. How do you come back? How do you re-motivate yourself to return to that thing, that habit that you know and love?

As I sat to write my weekly post, I realized that this is exactly what I’ve experienced. It’s been three weeks since my last post. In the past five plus years, I’ve written one blog post per week with a few exceptions. It’s a habit I enjoy, find creative and have been committed to.

However, I’ve faced some challenges in these recent weeks that forced me to let go of certain commitments (as in writing the weekly blog post and engaging as actively on social media) so that I could handle others. Yes there was guilt. Yes there was disappointment. But it was also necessary to let go to make room for some emergencies and out of the ordinary challenges.

Here are some reminders I gave myself about motivation:

• I can come back at any time.

• I need to be flexible because there are only 24 hours in a day.

• Some of those 24 hours are needed for sleep, which is essential for recharging.

• If I’m exhausted, I won’t have the energy or motivation to do anything.

• Return to your source for centering. Water and sun restore me.

• If I’ve gotten way off track, take one tiny step towards that “project” or habit and it will feed my motivation.

• Practice self-compassion.

• Listen to your cheerleaders.

• Just start.

• Let go of perfect.

Needless to say, I’ve missed all of you. I’ve missed our conversations. I’m glad to be back after taking a break to tend to some family and professional challenges. I get that I expect a lot from myself. Does this sound familiar? I get that there’s a balance between doing and not doing. I’m working on that.

What about you? Does any of this resonate? Has life ever gotten in the way and thrown you off course? It’s temporary. What do you do to re-motivate? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation.

During a local errand run, I came across a luggage tag that grabbed my attention. Written in bold, clear lettering it said,

“Collect moments NOT things.” 

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a collector of things. I derive pleasure in looking at and playing with fun, colorful objects like my floating pens, Pez dispensers and miniatures. But what I am a deeply appreciative of are the brilliant moments that life offers us at every turn.

The key is allowing the time to pause and acknowledge what we’re seeing, hearing, feeling, or noticing. Maybe the moment is the slight breeze cooling you off on a hot day, the scent of the rich, brown earth after a heavy rain, hearing the soothing voice of a loved one, the taste of that first morning sip of coffee, or sensation of your body exhaling as you lay down to relax after a long day. The list of wonderful moments goes on. Which moments fill your time? Which moments are there to appreciate?

While some moments are solitary, we also have shared ones with our friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances, and strangers. Who are the people that you share your time with?

Linda Goldfarb and Linda Samuels - ICD 2009

Our time is limited. This was made all too clear as I mourn the recent loss of my friend and colleague, Linda Goldfarb. She passed away this week and will be deeply missed. Over the last fifteen years, our paths crossed many times at NAPO-NY, NAPO National and ICD events. I had the great pleasure of working with her on several projects for ICD. She was a woman of her word, creative, patient, focused, and always delivered on her promises. Linda was passionate about traveling, spending time with her husband, Bob and being a foster parent to dogs waiting to be adopted. She was a giver. Her moments counted.

While I’ll continue to collect a Pez dispenser here or a miniature there, the larger focus will be on collecting and appreciating amazing moments both simple and deep, solo and shared, because life is made up of those tiny instances. Time goes all too quickly. These moments are waiting for us to embrace.

Amazing moments are the ones we notice. Which moments fill your time? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation.