What is your tendency when you encounter something challenging? Your temperament or the circumstance will elicit different responses.

• Do you go it alone?

• Do you procrastinate?

• Do you reach out for help?

Challenges are opportunities. However, they can either motivate you to take action or cause you to be overwhelmed and paralyzed.

One of the things I admire about my virtual organizing clients is their willingness to seek help. They recognize that some challenges can be resolved quickly when they get the needed support. They usually know what result they want but need help figuring out the plan and steps. Or they may know what to do but want accountability and support while taking action.

When to Seek Help

When I have a challenge, I tend to go it alone first. I prefer to fix it myself, so I don’t have to bother anyone. But here’s the thing: I recognize that having agency and being able to ‘fix’ things is valuable. It’s as essential to know when to get support.

Enlist help to:

• Bounce ideas off of someone

• Make a plan

• Rely on someone else’s expertise or experience

• Delegate

• Do things you don’t want to do

• Have accountability

• Get support when you are stuck

You don’t have to do everything yourself. Build your team, your go-to people, who can help you navigate the challenges you face and the goals you seek.

“You don’t have to do everything yourself.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Grateful for Help

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind. They’ve included wonderful vacation time and celebrations with family, mixed with many things going sideways. Our home needed help with a water filter replacement project, a new chimney liner, a replacement water pressure valve, a damaged driveway by one of our vendors, and a leaky roof. Oh. The joys of home ownership!

My husband, Steve, and I tagged-teamed the challenges. Steve is handy but time-poor. He handled some of these things by doing the work himself or getting help from a vendor. I assisted Steve with one of the projects (the water filter replacement) and hired vendors to get the other projects done.

Identifying the tasks we could do ourselves, the ones that needed to be done quickly, and those that required an outside vendor was vital.

Project Sprawl

Have you ever noticed how most projects are never as simple as you think? For example, the water filter we’ve used for years stopped selling replacement filters. This should have been a simple purchase and filter replacement, but it turned into a project.

Steve researched replacement options, ordered a new unit, and was ready to install it. Unfortunately, the box didn't include all the connection pieces he needed. After several trips to Home Depot, he was prepared for installation. When I saw the old unit removed from under the kitchen sink, I wanted to replace the liner paper. That involved removing the slide-out garbage can, cleaning the area, and cutting the new liner.

It didn’t stop there. We also decided to repaint under the sink to cover up some rust stains. As I write this, the paint is drying, and everything will soon be back in place.

No Need to Struggle Alone

My point is that getting help is a good thing. Don’t struggle alone. If you can do the thing yourself, great! But if you’re procrastinating, stuck, and overwhelmed, reach out for help.

What area of your life needs support? What have you recently asked for help with? How did that go? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

I'm ready if you need help getting unstuck, making a plan, decluttering, or organizing. Please email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or schedule a Discovery Call. Moving forward is possible, especially with support.

There are times when you’re in a state of flow. You work almost effortlessly on your projects and goals. You lose track of time and are in that creative, exciting phase. At other times, you’re not just stuck but overwhelmed. It feels impossible to move forward and determine your next step. The deluge is heavy, like a huge weight pressing down on you. The list of what needs accomplishing seems so large that it interferes with your focus and motivation. Instead of moving forward, you procrastinate, engage in distractions, or do nothing. Do any of these scenarios sound familiar?

Being overwhelmed is the number one reason my clients contact me for help. Organizing their space, time, or stuff can seem insurmountable. We work together with the big picture in mind, approaching it one small step at a time. And you know what? When we do that, we break through the overwhelm barrier and make progress.

My clients aren’t the only ones who get inundated. It happens to me too. I recognized that something had felt off for me this winter. It hasn’t been a typical season in the Hudson Valley. We barely had any snow, which disturbed my sense of balance and seasonal cycles.

Recently, I came across an image and phrase that resonated with me. An author described the feeling of a winter’s snow and wrote, “the quiet is even quieter.” When I read that, I recognized it was what I’d been missing. It’s not that it’s loud where I live. However, a significant snowfall covering the woods with a thick white blanket creates calm, silence, and that long pause. Things stop.

That unique winter quiet settles my mind as a deep, luxurious exhale. The silence helps me reset. Guess what happened? Last week, we finally got substantial snow. I was so excited when I woke up with the backwoods covered in white. I felt lighter, with a positive shift in my energy and mood. The frosted, peaceful landscape reduced my overwhelm and opened my mind enough to figure out what to do next.

A Simple Path Forward

After enjoying my breakfast and sipping my hot mug of coffee, I had an idea for encouraging forward movement. Using a low-tech solution, I grabbed a piece of paper and some pens to make a chart. It took about 10 minutes to create. I listed my upcoming projects for the next several months. It included project names, due dates, brief notes, and the next step for each project. It felt good to get them on paper and out of my head. I experienced an immediate sense of relief seeing this high-level view on a single sheet of paper. But the most significant benefit was the next step column. Rather than listing the bazillion tasks for each project, I listed only one tiny thing to focus on.

This simple exercise propelled me forward. Within a few days, I completed one of the projects. Now I have my roadmap with clear instructions of what to do next for the others.

“Consider the big picture, yet approach it one small step at a time.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

I recognize how the snowfall helped me overcome my overwhelm and inspired the chart. However, snowstorm or not, you can use this helpful tool anytime you feel overwhelmed. There are moments when it’s beneficial to do an entire brain dump of all tasks, steps, projects, and thoughts. However, that doesn’t always work when you’re upset. Doing a total brain download can intensify those feelings. When that’s the situation, consider my ‘next-step’ approach instead.

What helps you figure out next when you’re overwhelmed? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

What is it about asking for help? Is it something you do readily? Or, do you tend to do or want to do everything yourself? There is no shame in enlisting help. So why do we procrastinate, stress, and delay getting support? As a professional organizer, I am used to receiving calls from overwhelmed folks who want help. I am also a person that at times, struggles to ask for assistance.

This happened recently to me. My mom died in March. While many of the things around her death I completed, I still have a few things to do. One of those tasks is getting her footstone made. I wanted the same company that made my father’s footstone, help make my mom’s. I obsessed about getting the footstone created and installed. I added a task to my list but kept postponing it. Maybe I wasn’t ready. Or, perhaps ordering the footstone made my mom’s death feel more final. I didn’t move forward or ask for help. I stayed stuck.

And then last week, the day arrived. The cue to work on mom’s footstone project appeared on my to-do list again. I pulled out my file, found the name and number of the monument company, picked up the phone, and dialed. Here’s the incredible thing. Within a few minutes, they knew who I was, where my mom was buried and gave me clear next steps for getting the footstone made. A half-hour later, they emailed me all of the details- the quote, forms to complete, and checks to write.

I had been stressed and obsessing for months. By enlisting help from a professional, I was able to take those next steps. Getting the process started was such a huge relief. It felt like a giant weight was lifted. I couldn’t believe how simple it was and how long I had berated myself for not getting help. One phone call yielded such comfort. 

“There is no shame in enlisting help.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

Then it hit me that mine and my clients’ experiences are similar. When potential clients contact me, they often are overwhelmed, stuck, and have felt that way for a long time. They describe reasons they procrastinate about getting help, which include:

• Embarrassed for needing help

• Despair that they feel like a lost cause

• Unsure of who to call

• Frustration that they “should” be able to get organized on their own

They feel their disorganization and situation is impossible. However, when you are willing and ready for change, movement is possible.

“When you are willing and ready for change, movement is possible.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

My clients make positive shifts during their virtual organizing sessions, and it’s a beautiful change to see. I’ve written about this before with the types of transformations they have during a typical one-hour session. Enlisting help is beneficial. Virtual organizing clients might begin their sessions feeling overwhelmed, but the story doesn’t end there. Here are some recent thoughts clients expressed at the end of their sessions:

• “I see the light at the end of the tunnel.” 

• “I know I can do it. I can pair things down.”

•  “It was kind of overwhelming but easier than I thought.”

• “Saying goodbye to the past- it felt good, cathartic.”

• “Amazing. This is such a good feeling.”

•  “My pile of ‘going’ is getting bigger.”

•  “Things feel mentally more manageable.”

•  “This feels so good what we did today. At the beginning of the session, I felt like crying. Now I feel giddy.”

Like my clients, I felt better and moved forward when I sought out help. When was the last time you reached out for support? What did you experience? Was the help you received beneficial? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation. 

When we think about how we spend our time, we often associate feelings with describing them further. For instance, we might think about being with the family at the beach as a happy time or a time when a loved one died as heart-wrenching. However, time is not only a container that includes appointments, events, and milestones, but it also is flavored by the emotions that arise. Lately, I am more aware of the connection between what happens at a given period and the feelings that accompany them.

Why does this matter? By making the connection, we can better understand why we are motivated to engage in certain activities yet procrastinate with others. This can help us to get unstuck or extend some grace when we need it most. Our emotions are clues to our inner experience. We might not always have the words to describe what we’re feeling. Instead, we can notice sensations in the body like tightness in the shoulders, a clenched jaw, or butterflies in the belly. These sensations indicate how you are feeling at that moment in time. 

4 Lessons I Learned About Time and Feelings

Feeling Late

You’re right. Late isn’t an emotion. But that uncomfortable feeling I experience with being late is. Due to a series of events and happenings, my blog post is going live today, a Wednesday, instead of the typical Sunday. I could have skipped this week, but I won’t be able to post next week. So, I decided to break from my pattern and just go for it, even though it’s late. But you know what? I’m doing it, but it feels strange. I prefer being punctual and consistent.

My lesson learned:  Stretch outside of my comfort zone. While I regularly post on the same day each week, it’s OK to make an occasional exception to my own rule. That’s being flexible.

Feeling Anxious

Life is opening up again after a year of lockdowns, restrictions, and closings. This is a positive development on all fronts. However, the speed at which things are reopening has created some discomfort. Some of us are ready to do everything at full throttle, while others (like me) feel more cautious. I’m experiencing so many firsts all at once. They include having the annual doctor visits I missed last year, staying in a hotel, eating in a restaurant, being mask-less in public, and entertaining people IRL (in real life!) These were accompanied by trepidation and anxiety.

My lesson learned: Doing something for the first time or the first time in a long time can feel scary and anxiety-producing. However, I survived, and the next time will be so much easier.

“Time is not only a container that includes appointments, events, and milestones, but it also is flavored by the emotions that arise.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

Feeling Relaxed

My husband gifted me a kayaking date as my Mother’s Day present. I love kayaking, and he knows it! What a wonderful feeling to be on the Croton River with the bright sun, warm air, and soothing water. While there is paddling involved, I also spent time in the kayak just floating. It was during the non-paddling time that I felt especially relaxed. I wasn’t trying to get anywhere or exert physical energy. I simply glided gently along the water.

My lesson learned: Even during exertion, you can find relaxation. It’s there in the stillness and the pause.

Feeling Excited

Other than taking a walk around the house or block, many of us stayed put last year- no traveling, overnights, or day trips. We kept close to home with a few exceptions. While I’m not ready to get on an airplane or use public transportation, I am looking forward to some car trips. This summer, we scheduled some vacation time. It’s with excited anticipation that I’ll have time with family and friends at beaches, rivers, mountains, and cities.

I’m looking forward to exploring new and familiar places, face-to-face conversations, and all of the hugs.

My lesson learned: There is gratitude in waiting. Missing provides an opening to be thankful for the people and places I so sorely missed.

Have you noticed a connection between your time and emotions? Do any of these resonate with you, or have you discovered other patterns? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.