Our popular “Ask the Expert” interview series connects you with dynamic industry thought leaders. This year we’ve spoken with psychologist, Dr. Debbie Grove about change and author and minimalist, Joshua Becker about fresh starts. For March, I’m excited to have with us inspiring author, Todd Henry to share his insights about next steps.

I recently finished reading Todd’s latest book, Die Empty, and loved it. He encourages us to live each day purposefully and with more urgency. Die Empty is a must read.  I’m thrilled that Todd was available to join us. My gratitude goes to him for his thought-provoking responses. I know you’re going to enjoy his ideas about next steps. Before we begin, here’s more about him.

Todd Henry is the founder of Accidental Creative, a consultancy that helps people and teams to be prolific, brilliant, and healthy. He teaches companies how to be creative under pressure, collaborate more effectively, and align their activities around the work that matters most. He's also the author of two books, The Accidental Creative and Die Empty, which was named as one of Amazon’s "Best Books of 2013.” You can connect with Todd on Twitter, Facebook or website. 

Linda Samuels:  As an author, speaker, consultant and coach, you inspire individuals and teams to “generate brilliant ideas” and live fulfilled lives. How can we best prepare for “next?”

Todd Henry:  We all face uncertainty daily. It’s a fact of the new marketplace, where most of us are compensated for turning our thoughts into value each day. However, in the face of that uncertainty we are not helplessly at the whim of the workload. We can choose to build practices and structures to help position us to bring our best to what we do each day. Tomorrow’s brilliance is rooted in the soil of today’s activity.

Linda:  What if “next” isn’t obvious?

Todd:  It’s never obvious, or at least the best ideas typically aren’t. That’s why daily practice is so critical. It’s what allows you to problem find, not just problem solve. Those who see patterns, recognize opportunities, and are poised to take advantage of them when they arise are the people who win the future.

Linda:  In your book, Die Empty, you talk about the importance of “making steady, critical progress each day on the projects that matter, in all areas of life.” What is a favorite strategy for moving forward?

Todd:  The most important element of this is defining a through-line, or an outcome that you are committed to. It’s easy to get carried along by the work, or to allow the flow of life to cause you to drift from opportunity to opportunity or project to project, but when you have a specific through-line, or outcome that you are committed to it helps you contextualize all of your daily activities and measure whether they are advancing you toward your overall objectives. It’s amazing how defining what you are about suddenly brings clarity to your priorities.

Linda:  What is your most surprising discovery about figuring out “next?”

Todd:  The most surprising thing is that it’s rarely the “a-ha” that everyone seems to crave. Brilliant insights, innovations, and works of art rarely emerge in a flash of fire, but instead are a smolder over time that eventually grows into a blaze. The key is to be mindful, have practices that help you to ask better questions, and to pay attention for those little hunches, moments of insight, or seemingly irrelevant ideas that could be the foundation for something really big. In many ways, it’s learning how to listen to your inner voice even when it seems to be slightly off-topic.

Linda:  What has been your biggest personal challenge around taking next steps?

Todd:  I tend to have “shiny object syndrome,” meaning that I tend to bounce from exciting new project to exciting new project. As a result, I’ve had to have other people in my life to keep me focused on the results I’m seeking and follow-through on projects until they reach their intended end. Book projects are good for me, because they are a long-arc project with a dedicated end date, and they are easy to work on in “chunks” of thought, so I get to satisfy the wandering attention span while still making steady progress on a long-arc project.

Linda:  Is there anything you’d like to share that I haven’t asked?

Todd:  The most important thing to remember is that today matters. We have a tendency to believe the lie that tells us we’ll always have tomorrow to do today’s work. We don’t. It’s important to spend your finite resources (focus, assets, time, energy) each day in a way you’ll not regret later. Engage with urgency and diligence, because those are the foundation of hustle, and hustle is the best antidote to lifelong regret.

Todd, there are so many gems here. Some ideas that resonate with me include that next often isn’t obvious, ask better questions, listen to your inner voice, enlist the help of others so that you can do your best work, and that “today matters.” What wonderful ideas to contemplate and act on.

Please join Todd and me as we continue the conversation. We’d love to hear your ideas about next steps. What are you thinking about?

The “Ask the Expert” interview series continues to connect you with dynamic industry thought leaders. Last month, author and minimalist, Joshua Becker, talked with us about fresh starts. This month I’m thrilled to have with us psychologist, Dr. Debbie Grove to share her unique perspective and thoughts about change.

Have I mentioned lately how much I love Twitter? Through social media, one of my great joys has been connecting with amazing people like Debbie. Our paths have crossed in the virtual world where we’ve had the opportunity to get to know one another. Debbie is passionate about change, which the main focus of her therapy practice. She said, “Working on change is a rewarding experience.” My gratitude and thanks goes to Debbie for taking the time to join us. You’re going to love her ideas and practical strategies about change. Before we begin, here’s more about her.

Dr. Debbie Grove has been engaged in facilitating change for individuals, couples, and organizations for over 15 years in capacities such as manager, executive director, board of director member, and psychologist. Her career arenas have included not-for-profit organizations, municipal government, colleges and universities, employee assistance programs, and private practice. She is currently focusing on providing psychological services for depression, anxiety, relationships, marriage counseling, career transition, life coaching, health and well-being, midlife issues, self-esteem, communication, loss, and family of origin issues. Dr. Grove completed a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology at the University of Calgary where she researched midlife depression, adult learning, and counseling processes. You can connect with Debbie on Twitter, LinkedIn or website.

Linda Samuels:  As a psychologist, one of your specialties is helping people navigate change. What enables us to successfully embrace change?

Dr. Debbie Grove:  The following represent my key tips for navigating change successfully:

• Be clear about what you want to change and why.
• Realize that change takes time, commitment, and effort.
• Learn to be patient and kind with yourself.
• Accept setbacks as a natural part of the change process; they are bound to happen and are not a sign of failure, rather an important part of the learning.
• Establish specific action steps.  Achieving each step helps build momentum, confidence and a positive attitude about the change process.

Linda:  What are some common challenges we encounter when seeking the changes we desire?

Debbie:  I find that people tend to take on too much change all at once. In turn, this elevates stress and anxiety as the changes become unmanageable, difficult to prioritize and overwhelming. This sometimes indicates that sufficient time to reflect, brainstorm, and plan for change has not taken place. Given that change undoubtedly has to be incorporated into every day living, one goal at a time is best. Moreover, this facilitates the capacity to focus and to stay focused on the targeted area of change.

Linda:  Do you have any strategies for managing doubt, fear, and uncertainty that often accompany transitions and change?

Debbie:  Change often involves letting go of one aspect of life in order to gain another, making sacrifices, compromising, and incorporating life adjustments. At first, the mere idea of these adjustments can generate discomfort; after all, veering away from one’s comfort zone can be a distressing proposition.  In my work as a psychologist, here are some of my primary strategies for managing the psychological components of change:

• Ongoing self-care (e.g., sleep, nutrition, exercise, social support), especially since life transitions and change tend to generate stress and deplete the immune system.
• Maintain a positive outlook about change and effectively managing unhealthy thinking patterns (e.g., all-or-nothing thinking).
• Remind yourself about the good outcomes that will result from the change process – balancing this future-orientation with staying grounded in the here-and-now. Sometimes I suggest visual cues such as a vision board that profiles images of outcomes and goals that one hopes to achieve as the result of change. Celebrate the small milestones along the way.
• Seek out supports, resources and outlets to release stress, fear, and anxiety (e.g., going to the gym, venting with a friend, and journaling).

Linda:  What is your most surprising discovery about change?

Debbie:  One of the biggest myths about change relates to motivation. Avoiding the beginning stages of change waiting for motivation to kick in can prevent people from getting started. Understandably, change might be put off as a result of fear and uncertainty. Taking a first step, or behaving one’s way toward change, is a much more effective approach. The motivation will come a bit later once a person has begun to experience some forward movement toward their goal. Once the ball gets rolling, self-efficacy starts to set in – change is then perceived as more possible and achievable.

Linda:  What has been your biggest personal challenge around change?

Debbie:  When I decided to complete graduate school during my midlife years, it meant significant life changes, sacrifices, and re-establishing priorities. That period was very challenging. Being clear about my goals, facing and acting upon the needed changes, and developing realistic strategies to make the necessary life adjustments was all part of making a career dream a reality. Staying focused on the positive outcomes associated with change was very helpful for me!

Debbie, your no-nonsense approach to change is refreshing. Your emphasis on self-care, patience, singular focus, acknowledgement of “setbacks,” good support system, and positive outlook, especially resonated with me. Thank you for sharing your practical approach for embracing positive, successful change.

Please join Debbie and me as we continue the conversation. We’d love to hear your thoughts about navigating change. What resonates with you?

It’s thrilling to begin our third "Ask the Expert" interview series! In the past few years we’ve created a monthly venue to connect you with industry thought leaders. We’ve enjoyed inspiring conversations with best-selling author Gretchen Rubin, productivity guru David Allen, organizer and future thinker Judith Kolberg, theory of Multiple Intelligences creator Dr. Howard Gardner, and many more. The 2014 interviews continue with another dynamic group of experts. I’m excited to start the year with author, blogger and minimalist trailblazer, Joshua Becker to share his wisdom about simple living and fresh starts.

While I’ve been a loyal @Joshua _Becker Twitter follower for a while now, we recently “met” while appearing in a Selfication blog post together about simplifying and organizing your life. Shortly thereafter, I invited Joshua to contribute to one of my posts about life balance. I asked him, “What do you want more of and less of to create your desired balance?” Being true to his minimalist philosophy, he provided an insightful and concise response, “More focus on the important things. Less distraction on the little.”  A few weeks later he contacted me to see if I’d be interested (and I was) in reading an advance copy of his soon to be released book, Clutterfree with Kids. The book is filled with practical strategies and deep wisdom. It’s a must read! His ideas provide a great catalyst for reconsidering our lives. My deepest gratitude and thanks goes to Joshua for taking the time to join us. Before we begin, here’s more about him.

Joshua Becker is the founder and editor of Becoming Minimalist, a website that inspires others to find more life by owning less. His rational approach to minimalist living has made him one of today’s most-influential simple living advocates. He is also the best-selling author of Simplify: 7 Guiding Principles to Help Anyone Declutter Their Home and Life and the newly released, Clutterfree with Kids. He lives with his wife and two children in Peoria, AZ. You can connect with Joshua on Facebook, Twitter, or website.

Linda Samuels:  As an author, speaker, blogger and dad, you inspire others to consider the minimalist approach to life. How do you describe minimalism?

Joshua Becker:  I describe minimalism as the ‘intentional promotion of everything I most value and the removal of anything that distracts me from it.’  When many people hear the word ‘minimalism,’ they often imagine barren walls, tiny houses, or living out of backpacks. But that is not how we view it. We’ve just come to understand that material possessions do not add lasting joy to our lives—even worse, they often distract us from the very things that do. We have two small kids. We live in the suburbs. We enjoy having people over to our house. Our lives are unique. Minimalism is always going to look different for us. But it’s going to be about removing the excess possessions that keep us from the things we love the most.

Linda:  You’ve said, “There is more joy to be found in owning less than can ever be found in organizing more.” What are some benefits of “de-owning?”

Joshua:  The benefit of owning less is an important concept—one that most people can easily relate to. It’s just that in this world where we are constantly told to buy more and more, we never take a step back and ask ourselves, “How would my life be better if I owned less stuff?” For starters, we’d have less cleaning, less stress, less debt. We’d experience more freedom, more time, and more intentionality—more opportunity to pursue our greatest passions. And eventually, when the desire for physical possessions is removed, our hearts are open to contentment, gratitude, and generosity. It’s really quite wonderful in every respect.

Linda:  In your just released book, Clutterfree with Kids you share many ways to shift perspectives about how families live with and think about their possessions. What are some first steps for clutter-free living?

Joshua:  The absolute first step is to rethink the all too common “more is better” mentality. One of the easiest ways to understand clutter is to recognize it as too much stuff in too little space. And our homes are full of stuff: our kitchen cabinets, our closets, our garages, and our toy rooms. The first step to living clutterfree is to remove the things in our homes that are not used or needed. Grab three boxes (donate, recycle, discard), pick one room, and fill them up. The key is not to find more storage solutions for your stuff—the key is minimizing the number of things we own.

Linda:  Along with having kids, comes owning toys. You said, “I’m not anti-toy. I’m pro-child.” You make a powerful case that having fewer toys translates into kids with longer attention spans, better social skills, and being more resourceful. What else can you tell us about the “less toys” benefits?

Joshua:  And this is proven by scientific studies. Kids who own fewer toys learn to be more creative, more generous, more resourceful and more perseverant with longer attention spans. There are too many parents nowadays who have a hard time saying ‘no’ to their children. But it is good for kids to learn boundaries and to learn that there are other ways to express love than buying toys and giving gifts.

Linda:  What has been your biggest personal challenge around becoming a minimalist?

Joshua:  I think the biggest challenge for me is often the biggest challenge for others as well. The journey to becoming a minimalist (and I’ll be the first to admit it is a journey, not a destination) is one of the most difficult and fulfilling inward journeys anyone can embark upon. My first mini-van load of things to Goodwill was easy, so was the second. But by the third or fourth vanload of items to drop off, you can’t help but start asking yourself some pretty difficult questions—starting with, “If I didn’t really need this stuff, why did I buy it all in the first place?” And when those questions of life purpose, life focus, and wasted opportunity start beginning to surface, it can be very difficult to realize the level of discontent most of us live our lives in. It is a challenge. And it’s helpful to have someone close to help process the feelings that emerge. It is both highly difficult and beautifully delightful all at the same time.

Linda:  Is there anything you’d like to share that I haven’t asked?

Joshua:  I think I’ve overstepped my word-limit, so I’ll just leave it at that. Thank you for the opportunity Linda.

You’re most welcome, Joshua. I’m grateful for each of your carefully chosen words. Thank you for all the insights you shared about simple living, minimalism, and the significance of less. Your message is positive and filled with hope. I love how you describe your journey as both “difficult and beautifully delightful.” What a powerful underlying concept you explore about possessing less so you can shift your focus away from stuff management and towards what’s truly important and meaningful.

I invite all of you to join Joshua and me as the conversation continues. We’d love to hear your thoughts about minimalism, fresh starts, or anything else you’d like to share. What resonates with you?

Dan Thurmon "Ask the Expert" interview about Life BalanceWe’ve had an exciting year of guests join us for the “Ask the Expert” interview series. We’ve given you a venue to connect with industry thought leaders and the opportunity to participate in inspiring conversations. This year we’ve spoken with Dr. Howard Gardner about being wonderfully human, Jane Pollak about possibility thinking, Dorothy Breininger about success, Dr. April Lane Benson about enlisting help, Leslie Josel about motivation, David Allen about time management, Peter Walsh about clutter, Sheila Delson about letting go, Laura Berman Fortgang about next steps, Judith Kolberg about change, and Sue West about fresh starts. To complete the year, I’m thrilled to bring you speaker, author, and coach, Dan Thurmon, to share his insights about life balance.

I’m a big Dan Thurmon fan! I’ve attended hundreds of presentations on a wide range of topics. Dan is one of the most unique, charming, and energy-filled presenters I’ve ever seen. I’ve had the pleasure of hearing him speak and perform twice at NAPO conferences as he motivated, enlightened, and persuaded us all while juggling large objects, tumbling through the air, and riding tall unicycles. Dynamic doesn’t begin to describe Dan! If you ever have the opportunity to hear him...GO! My gratitude goes to Dan for juggling his schedule and taking the time to join us. Before we begin, here’s more about him.

Dan Thurmon is the author of two books, Off Balance on Purpose and Success in Action, a renowned speaker, and a recognized expert in delivering peak performances – on stage and in the workplace. As president of Motivation Works, Inc., he has worked with hundreds of clients and delivered thousands of presentations worldwide. Dan helps organizations and individuals implement action plans and move confidently through transitions. You can connect with Dan on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, blog or website.

Linda Samuels:  People long for balance. I’ve heard you say that while that’s “intriguing and desirable,” it’s also “completely unrealistic.” Can you share more about that?

Dan Thurmon:  Life is fluid and ever changing, so we cannot attain “perfect balance.” Balance should not be a goal but rather a skill. We “balance” competing demands for time, energy and action. We make decisions and adjustments to help improve our connection to what matters most in life. But our day-to-day experience is and will always be “off balance.” And that’s a good thing! You must be “off balance” in order to learn, grow, and contribute. That’s why I advocate living Off Balance On Purpose. This means that you own your circumstances, initiate changes, and act deliberately, not reactively. Also, we are more effective and engaged when our actions and lives are infused with purpose and meaning.

Linda:  Aside from being a world-class speaker, coach, and author, you are also a consummate performer and juggler. You use juggling concepts to help your audiences understand your message. What is your favorite juggling analogy about life balance?

Dan:  Well thank you! Juggling is a fantastic metaphor that teaches us, among other lessons, that we should look for “patterns” that connect the objects – or, our objectives. Instead of trying to isolate aspects of your life, look for ways to integrate them into a cohesive “pattern of action.” The other analogy involves riding a six-foot-tall unicycle as I demonstrate that, in order to make forward progress, you must be off balance, leaning into the change and uncertainty. It’s scary, but also exhilarating, as you are harnessing momentum for change!

Linda:  What strategies are useful when we’re feeling overwhelmed and pulled in too many directions?

Dan:  First, seek to clarify your purpose. What are you really trying to accomplish, and why is it important? And I don’t have to tell you that being organized is essential to staying in control. I believe it starts with organizing your thinking instead of being constantly redirected by the next “urgent” task. Also, I teach people how to create and strengthen “lifelines” between the aspects of life that matter most: Work, Relationships, Health, Spiritual Growth, and Personal Interests. If you view these “five spheres” as competing with one another, you will fight a losing battle. When you see them as integrated or blended into a “pattern,” however, you begin to see how they can support one another and work in harmony.

Linda:  What has been your toughest personal life balance challenge?

Dan:  As a husband and father of two children (ages 14 and 10), it is a challenge when my schedule takes me on the road for days at a time. But my wife and I have worked over the years to strengthen the “lifelines” that keep us connected. Sometimes I travel with my whole family, or with one of my kids. We often talk about the places I am visiting and the clients I work with. I’ve also used both of my kids, Eddie and Maggie, in my presentations. That way they truly understand what I do and we stay more connected, even when we are apart. And of course, I schedule family time at home to be sure they know how much they mean to me.

Linda:  What is your most surprising discovery about being “off balance?”

Dan:  When you develop a comfort with uncertainty, you often find new, fantastic opportunities that you would have otherwise missed completely. Life is exciting and ever changing, and when you find the “flow” of life and are able to engage its power, like a surfer atop a breaking wave, you will meet people, go places, and serve others in unexpected, wonderful ways.

Linda:  Is there anything you’d like to share about life balance that I haven’t asked?

Dan:  We’ve been told by well-intentioned experts that should we one day achieve a “balanced life,” we will be happier. But life is not a hypothetical future. It’s an undeniable present! And when you embrace uncertainty and choose to live Off Balance On Purpose, you will begin to experience greater happiness and control right where you are.

Thank you, Dan for sharing your wisdom about balance, or more accurately, living purposely off balance. So many of your ideas resonate with me from reframing balance not as a goal, but a skill, to acting deliberately instead of reactively, to developing a comfort with uncertainty, to leaning into change. I love your focus about now being, the “undeniable present,” rather than a “hypothetical future.” I could go on and on. But instead, let me open up the conversation to all of you.

I invite you to join Dan and me. Come share your thoughts about life balance. Is it illusive? What does balance look like to you? Have ideas sparked a perspective shift?