Do you find it challenging to let go of things? If so, you’re not alone. One of the phrases I frequently hear from my clients during the decision-making process is, “I might need it someday.”  Have you heard or said that?

Recently, one of my clients shared a passage from the CliftonStrengths assessment she took, which described her top strength, Input. She said the narrative deeply resonated with her. Since I thought this would interest you, I asked her permission to share it.

Input – CliftonStrengths 34

“You are inquisitive. You collect things. You might collect information-words, facts, books, and quotations- or tangible objects such as butterflies, baseball cards, porcelain dolls, or sepia photographs. Whatever you collect, you collect it because it interests you. And yours is the kind of mind that finds so many things interesting. The world is exciting precisely because of its infinite variety and complexity. If you read a great deal, it is not necessarily to refine your theories but, rather, to add more information to your archives. If you like to travel, it is because each new location offers novel artifacts and facts. These can be acquired and then stored away. Why are they worth storing? At the time of storing it is often hard to say exactly when or why you might need them, but who knows when they might become useful? With all those possible uses in mind, you really don’t feel comfortable throwing anything away. So you keep acquiring and compiling and filing stuff away. It’s interesting. It keeps your mind fresh. And perhaps one day some of it will prove valuable.”

The idea, “I might need it someday,” can be answered with more questions. Tease out the value of that “thing” you are holding onto. I don’t advocate letting go for the sake of that alone. Releasing comes from a place of readiness and purpose. What might have been of value to you in the past may no longer feel as useful or essential.

“Releasing comes from a place of readiness and purpose.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

What is your goal? Is it to live with less, reduce clutter, or downsize a lifetime of belongings? Is it to release the weight of the past to make space for how you want your life to be now? Holding onto things for “someday” may feel less relevant for certain things. There are no hard and fast rules here. It’s more of an opportunity to examine and use your curiosity to ask great questions. Your decision will become clear.

Click here for 21 letting go questions. Which one speaks to you? What helps you let go? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Having an array of emotions is part of being human. There are no good or bad ones. However, at times, our strong emotions can make clear thoughts challenging. In fact, some emotions like anxiety, sadness, or fear can cause procrastination or completely zap our motivation.

When the amygdala, the primitive, emotional region of the brain, becomes the boss, it creates a cycle that activates the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight.) The good news is many self-help strategies are available to help switch your internal gears from fight or flight to the rest and digest, parasympathetic nervous system mode.

When calmer, you can more readily access the pre-frontal cortex, a part of the brain that helps with decision-making, organization, attention, planning, emotional regulation, and impulse control. In this more relaxed state, you can reset and access the motivation to move forward.

Recently, I attended a meeting with fellow Nest Advisor, Monica Moore, a health and fertility coach. She led a workshop on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT.) The four-step process is helpful when making behavioral changes. ACT encourages working towards a value rather than avoiding something. In other words, focus your energy on something positive you want to be or do instead of on something negative you wish to avoid.

The ACT process:

1. Identify a value. Who or what do I want to be?

2. Identify feelings. What “yucky” feelings get in the way?

3. Identify relief valves. When you feel these things, what behaviors occur?

4. Create a nourishment menu. What behaviors will feel helpful, sustainable, and give perspective when experiencing the “yucky” feelings?

Your nourishment menu is where self-help strategies thrive. For example, when feeling anxious, you might engage in negative self-talk, binge-watching, or eating sugar-heavy snacks. What if you acknowledged and noticed those feelings when you felt anxious and instead, engaged in more helpful behaviors from the nourishment menu? Below are some suggestions. I’d love to know which of these or other ones work best for you.

20 Self-Help Strategies - Nourishment Menu

• Journal

• Meditate

• Take a walk

• Change your setting

• Organize or clean

• Create boundaries

• Breathe slowly

• Get a massage

• Hug a loved one for at least 20 seconds

• Run or exercise

• Watch leaves flutter

• Light a scented candle

• Use humor

• Rest

• Read

• Pet your dog or cat

• Listen to or play music

• Take a shower or bath

• Help someone else

• Talk with a friend, family member, or professional

I had a recent anxiety-inducing experience when I inadvertently deleted the most current 45 days of emails from my inbox. After long calls with tech support at Apple and Carbonite, it became clear that the emails might be retrieved, but not without many more hours spent with tech support and possibly worse complications.

A tech hiccup is never convenient. My plans to accomplish a lot that day were derailed because of the anxiety inability to focus. At a point, I decided to let it go and not retrieve the emails. However, I was still anxious and not functioning well. My emotions were in high gear, and my brain was foggy. So what did I do?

“Your ‘nourishment menu’ is where self-help strategies thrive.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

I grabbed my journal and wrote. As the inky pen glided along the smooth paper, my heart beat rapidly, and my stomach was in knots. I wrote about the ‘gone’ emails, my anxious feelings, the power they had to deactivate my motivation, the shift in my emotional state of feeling calmer as I wrote, and the choice to let this go and move on. I noticed my environment (birds chirping, trees swaying), took several deep breaths, and shifted gears to write about positive memories from the mini vacation we just had.

After journaling, I met a dear friend for a walk along the river. We talked, laughed, and I shared the email saga with her. Not knowing about the nourishment menu at the time, I realized after how I had used several of these strategies to calm my anxiety, let go, and reset.

What self-help strategies work for you when your strong emotions take over? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Are you in the process of working towards your organizing or other goals? I admire the determination and openness my clients have as they pursue theirs. Getting organized is a process, which is complex and often lengthy. Goals, habits, and perspectives change as progress is made. Goals often seem so overwhelming in their enormity and so far away, that we can get discouraged. However, like with all things, if we put one foot in front of the other, taking that next step, eventually we’ll get there.

The other day when I was organizing with one of my long-term clients, she said something that was so brilliant. I had to acknowledge and capture her thought. She gave me permission to share it with you. She said,

“More of my life is where it belongs.”

Think about that one. In the process of getting organized, things are almost never where they belong. Our possessions, our thoughts, our habits, and our choices can be radically out of alignment with our values and dreams. It’s spectacular that my client realized this positive progress after she’s been working consistently on these issues.

If you’re feeling discouraged, overwhelmed, or like you’ll never “get there,” know there’s hope. Know there is calm after the chaos. Know that it’s possible to have your life how you’d like it to be.

Just take that next step. Take another. Keep choosing “next.” You will get there.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. What next step will bring you closer to feeling your life is “where it belongs?” Come join the conversation.

Our popular “Ask the Expert” interview series connects you with dynamic industry thought leaders. This year we’ve spoken with psychologist, Dr. Debbie Grove about change and author and minimalist, Joshua Becker about fresh starts. For March, I’m excited to have with us inspiring author, Todd Henry to share his insights about next steps.

I recently finished reading Todd’s latest book, Die Empty, and loved it. He encourages us to live each day purposefully and with more urgency. Die Empty is a must read.  I’m thrilled that Todd was available to join us. My gratitude goes to him for his thought-provoking responses. I know you’re going to enjoy his ideas about next steps. Before we begin, here’s more about him.

Todd Henry is the founder of Accidental Creative, a consultancy that helps people and teams to be prolific, brilliant, and healthy. He teaches companies how to be creative under pressure, collaborate more effectively, and align their activities around the work that matters most. He's also the author of two books, The Accidental Creative and Die Empty, which was named as one of Amazon’s "Best Books of 2013.” You can connect with Todd on Twitter, Facebook or website. 

Linda Samuels:  As an author, speaker, consultant and coach, you inspire individuals and teams to “generate brilliant ideas” and live fulfilled lives. How can we best prepare for “next?”

Todd Henry:  We all face uncertainty daily. It’s a fact of the new marketplace, where most of us are compensated for turning our thoughts into value each day. However, in the face of that uncertainty we are not helplessly at the whim of the workload. We can choose to build practices and structures to help position us to bring our best to what we do each day. Tomorrow’s brilliance is rooted in the soil of today’s activity.

Linda:  What if “next” isn’t obvious?

Todd:  It’s never obvious, or at least the best ideas typically aren’t. That’s why daily practice is so critical. It’s what allows you to problem find, not just problem solve. Those who see patterns, recognize opportunities, and are poised to take advantage of them when they arise are the people who win the future.

Linda:  In your book, Die Empty, you talk about the importance of “making steady, critical progress each day on the projects that matter, in all areas of life.” What is a favorite strategy for moving forward?

Todd:  The most important element of this is defining a through-line, or an outcome that you are committed to. It’s easy to get carried along by the work, or to allow the flow of life to cause you to drift from opportunity to opportunity or project to project, but when you have a specific through-line, or outcome that you are committed to it helps you contextualize all of your daily activities and measure whether they are advancing you toward your overall objectives. It’s amazing how defining what you are about suddenly brings clarity to your priorities.

Linda:  What is your most surprising discovery about figuring out “next?”

Todd:  The most surprising thing is that it’s rarely the “a-ha” that everyone seems to crave. Brilliant insights, innovations, and works of art rarely emerge in a flash of fire, but instead are a smolder over time that eventually grows into a blaze. The key is to be mindful, have practices that help you to ask better questions, and to pay attention for those little hunches, moments of insight, or seemingly irrelevant ideas that could be the foundation for something really big. In many ways, it’s learning how to listen to your inner voice even when it seems to be slightly off-topic.

Linda:  What has been your biggest personal challenge around taking next steps?

Todd:  I tend to have “shiny object syndrome,” meaning that I tend to bounce from exciting new project to exciting new project. As a result, I’ve had to have other people in my life to keep me focused on the results I’m seeking and follow-through on projects until they reach their intended end. Book projects are good for me, because they are a long-arc project with a dedicated end date, and they are easy to work on in “chunks” of thought, so I get to satisfy the wandering attention span while still making steady progress on a long-arc project.

Linda:  Is there anything you’d like to share that I haven’t asked?

Todd:  The most important thing to remember is that today matters. We have a tendency to believe the lie that tells us we’ll always have tomorrow to do today’s work. We don’t. It’s important to spend your finite resources (focus, assets, time, energy) each day in a way you’ll not regret later. Engage with urgency and diligence, because those are the foundation of hustle, and hustle is the best antidote to lifelong regret.

Todd, there are so many gems here. Some ideas that resonate with me include that next often isn’t obvious, ask better questions, listen to your inner voice, enlist the help of others so that you can do your best work, and that “today matters.” What wonderful ideas to contemplate and act on.

Please join Todd and me as we continue the conversation. We’d love to hear your ideas about next steps. What are you thinking about?