What do I mean by better balance and this season? It’s the holiday season that I’m referencing, a busy, chaotic, party and shopping-heavy time of year. By better balance, think about aiming for a balance that’s right for you, good enough, and factors in the shift that happens as festivities ramp up and the year draws to a close. I encourage you to let go of perfection as an idea or pursuit. It’s not necessary and will only add to your stress and unhappiness. Instead, what ways can you create a reasonable balance that incorporates what’s most important to you and limits the “should” or “have-to” elements?

3 Ways to Find a Better Balance . . .

FOMO and JOMO

Let’s start with the simple “yes” and “no.” There will be invitations to parties and gatherings. There will be requests to engage in a variety of personal and professional activities. There will be things we might not want to do but will feel obligated or responsible for doing. Just remember that you always have a choice. That decision is either a yes or a no. Remember that you don’t have to say “yes” to everything unless that’s what works for you. Two acronyms come to mind: FOMO and JOMO. The first, FOMO is the fear of missing out. We sometimes say yes to something just because we don’t want to be the only ones not present. But that yes might not always serve us. The second phrase is JOMO, the joy of missing out. This encourages you to honor yourself and recognize that not doing is sometimes the option that is most beneficial. In some instances, saying “no” brings you closer to being more balanced.

GOOD STUFF

Engaging in what truly brings you joy is a way of tipping your balance in a positive direction. Make sure to include as much of the “good stuff” this time of year. It might mean spending extended time with loved ones, cooking special holiday meals, throwing a gathering for friends, relaxing at home with a good book and a cozy blanket, or taking a long walk in the snow. There were so many parts of the Thanksgiving holiday that I enjoyed. Having my family around was beautiful. My heart is still full just thinking about their visit. Baking cookies together were at the top of the list of balance-inducing, joy-filled activities. Baking was something we did a lot of when our daughters were young and don't do as often now that they’re grown. Cassie, our youngest daughter, wanted to make Moravian Christmas cookies together, a recipe we baked many times when she was little (see video at end of post.) It was so much fun to cook with Cass, her boyfriend, and my husband. Measuring ingredients, stirring the mixture, rolling the dough, and cutting out shapes with the cookie cutters involved a present moment focus and mindfulness that enhanced our time together.

SQUARE ONE

Better balance also comes in the form of returning to square one and revisiting the basics. Especially this time of year, a bit of tweaking can go a long way to preparing you and your home for the holidays. While you might not have the time or energy now to take on a huge organizing project, think about the smaller ones that will create better balance. How about doing a quick edit of your clothing closet or drawers? Instead of that bursting at the seams feeling, you can create some breathing room for your clothes and self. Instead of decluttering all surfaces, pick one place in a central area that when clear, will help you move through your day more efficiently and make holiday entertaining less stressful. Then there are the other types of basics like having some additional pantry (beverages, crackers, pasta, cookies, nuts, cheese, dried fruit, paper goods) items on hand for last minute entertaining and guests. There are some self-basics like getting enough sleep, exercise, and hydration. Since we’re prone to indulging during the holidays, returning to these basics is essential. One of my go-to-balance-bringing-basics is meditating daily. Routinely practicing mindfulness meditation is especially helpful during this season to create groundedness, calm, and balance.

What helps with a better balance? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!

Baking together . . .

We straddle two zones as we wind down this year and gear up for the new one to begin. The days are an odd mixture of parties, paperwork, and preparation. What mode are you in? Are you planning, relaxing, or maybe doing a combination of both? One of my favorite things to do before moving forward is to reflect on the past. This gives me insights into what was and clues about what’s possible. In that spirit, I’ve gathered for you highlights from the most popular posts and organizing concepts of 2017 and also created a short video. If you’re curious to learn more about one of my quotes, click on the link to read the original post. My hope is that you’ll discover a seed idea that will inspire you as you embark on your organizing journey for the New Year.

What area will you focus on to create the level of organization and balance that you desire? Which people, projects and things will you give your time, energy and attention to?

Watch, read, and then join our conversation!

WINTER 2017

Fresh Start

“Let go of the shoulds. Ground yourself in the here and now.”

How to Practice Mindfulness for a Compassionate Fresh Start

Embrace Change

“In small ways each day, I can see and feel change happening.”

How to Embrace the Changes with Awareness and Delight

Next Step

“Finding next often takes less effort than you think it will.”

How to Pass the Human Test and Quickly Unlock Next

SPRING 2017

Letting Go

“The powerful method to reduce overwhelm … is to let go!”

Reduce Your Overwhelm & Increase Zen With One Powerful Method

Clutter

“Facing our clutter is a process. It begins with noticing...”

How to Use This Mindfulness Invitation to Better See Your Clutter

Time Management

“In this corner of our world that is fixated on doing more … the pause is essential.”

Make Time to Get Benefits of the “Pause”

SUMMER 2017

Motivation

“As your mind and body gets more sleep, notice the positive affect on your motivation.”

Do You Nurture or Sabotage Your Motivation?

Enlisting Help

“Practicing mindfulness … can be huge in helping us to navigate transitions...”

How to Get Great Mindfulness Help for Anxiety with Change

Success

“It’s essential to cheer yourself on … with each small success.”

What Does Organizing Success Look Like for You?

FALL 2017

Possibility Thinking

“Possibilities open up when your space is clear.”

What Are The Possibilities When You Clear Your “Space?”

Wonderfully Human

“Connecting with the human side of organizing brings the process to an entirely different place.”

What Treasures Will Be Discovered When You Are Organizing?

Life Balance

“Balance is … not always level, but in a constant state of motion that requires thought and action.”

How to Immediately Put Back More “B” in Balance

My heartfelt gratitude goes to you for being part of this vibrant community. We’ve had a rich year of conversations and sharing of ideas and resources. You bring learning, growth, support, and wonder to every day. Thank you for coming back again and again to participate and share your best.

Wishing you and your loved ones a happy, healthy, organized and joy-filled New Year!

It’s so darn easy to get out of balance. It can happen in an instant like when one of life’s emergencies surprises us. It can also happen ever so slowly when we get busy and aren’t able to carve out time for any self-care. So how can we get some of that daily “B” back into our lives? I suppose the first important thing is to recognize what it is you need to feel more balanced. It could be having some alone time or having more time with people. It might include eating more healthfully or getting more sleep. You might need one small tweak or some major changes. And frankly, some of us just like the chaos and prefer being out of balance all of the time. Where are you right now?

For me, well, I’ll admit that I went through an intense period that resulted in a wonderful balance. It didn’t happen overnight. It began about a year ago when I took an 8-week mindfulness course. That led to many shifts including changing my eating habits, journaling daily, seeing a nutritionist, doing back exercises, walking regularly, meditating daily, and losing weight. I felt less stressed and more energetic than I had in years. I didn’t expect or even plan for all of those changes to happen. One good habit led to another and then another. They became my balance building blocks.

Then starting in late summer, things slowly began moving in the opposite direction. The balance that I’d achieved began to slip away one habit at a time. My mom needed my attention and it made it increasingly challenging to focus on my routines. And just as slowly as I’d developed some great balance-producing habits, those same good habits managed to disappear one by one. What the heck happened? I worked so hard to get to that better place and then bam…many were gone over a few months!

It happens. Balance is like that seesaw. It’s not always level, but in a constant state of motion that requires thought and action. The intensity of what my family needed has subsided. My mom is settled into a new place that she loves. The family home is cleared and ready for sale. I am ready to refocus some of that energy back to myself. It almost feels selfish making that declaration, but truthfully, if we can’t nurture our core, how can we be available for anyone else?

Slowly, I’ll bring back some of the “B’s.” In the last few weeks, the short list has included:

• Spending more time with friends and family
• Having some alone, quiet time
• Taking more photographs
• Eating more vegetables
• Walking more
• Writing more regularly
• Enjoying the beauty of the first snow

The operative word here is more. I don’t expect instant. I do get that if I consistently do just a little more each day, eventually I will get or surpass where I was six months ago.

There are more good habits to bring back. But as I’ve learned before, each good choice begets more good choices. We just have to be willing to:

• Determine your balance and self-care needs
• Commit to one, small change at a time
• Recognize that change happens when we make different decisions
• Cut ourselves some slack when we go off course

I wish you all the best as you find your right balance. What will be included in your balance plan? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!

You may wonder why life balance is an issue when you’re organizing. Very simply, organizing your life or taking on even a single organizing project will have an influence on how your time gets allocated. Thoughts about and engagement in the organizing project can become time consuming, which can result in feeling out of balance. In addition, some organizing projects are highly emotional, like when you’re sorting through objects to which you have strong sentimental attachments. This can throw your balance off even further. Finding anchors along the way can help improve your sense of balance.

Over the recent weeks, I’ve been sharing with you my journey about clearing, organizing and getting our childhood home of 56+ years ready for sale. After several months of work, it will go on the market this week. In previous posts, I’ve shared that this journey has been highly emotional. I’ve reviewed, discovered and let go of a lot of stuff. There have been tears and laughter. There have been found treasures that have lifted my sprits and stabilized me along the way.

This week I’m focusing on connections and how threads from the past helped me understand and find gratitude in the present. These gifts from another time appeared just when I needed them most.

Balance in Continuity

The day I was sorting and organizing my Mom’s dresser, I discovered the round, plastic box shown in this photo. Inside was a man’s watch along with a note written by my mother over 30 years ago. She wrote,

“Papa Moishe’s watch in Nana Stell’s powder box – She kept this in her top vanity drawer after he died. I took it with me when I packed up her house to close it when she died.”

I read that note and burst into tears. The watch was my grandfathers and the vanity that my mom referred to was my grandmother’s, which I have in my bedroom. I helped my mom close up my grandparent’s house. Now decades later, I am doing this for my parents. Finding this treasure helped me that day. In the intensity of the project, this discovery was a message of connection to the past and encouragement of the present. It felt like my mom and grandparents were right there with me providing love, support, and some momentary balance.

Balance in Change

This is one of my Dad’s sketches. It’s the “green monster,” a cabinet that he built in 1950, the year my parents got married. Next to the sketch are some notes written by my mom about the cabinet’s history. It was a simply built plywood piece that kept morphing and changing as the family grew. The cabinet was painted many times. Details like curtains, hooks, and cushions were added and subtracted even more times. The family always called it the green monster because it was originally painted green. My first memory of it was as a baby when it was my pink changing table. In addition to what my mom documented on the note, the green monster was also used as an orange stereo cabinet in my first apartment in Boston and moved with me after college when I lived in Manhattan. When I got married, it moved to our loft in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. That was it’s last home before as mom said, it went “out to pasture.” Remembering the green monster, its journey, and final departure helped me process my feelings about the family home. Like the green monster, our childhood home has been a character in our lives that we have to let go of. Our memories of the wonderful, loving times shared there will remain. The green monster sketch and notes were all about change. I found comfort in that. Things aren’t meant to remain the same. Somewhere in that message, I felt some balance being restored.

Balance in Love

I adored my grandmother, Nana Stell. I was lucky to have her in my life up until I was a young adult. We were close. What I hadn’t remembered was that we were always close. This was one of the lovely treasures I found during one of the memorabilia organizing days. I came across this photo of 13-months old me, sitting at a table while drinking a bottle. My hand rests gently on someone’s arm. I turned over the photo and saw my grandmother’s writing, which said,

“Linda suddenly decided her ‘Nana’ was quite OK and constantly begged to stay in my arms. Here, having her breakfast, she suddenly realizes I’m near and reaches over to touch me. What a precious interchange of trust and love.”

I was so grateful that my grandmother took the time to appreciate and write about that moment. In discovering it, I was able to do the same, feeling our connection even though my Nana was long gone. It felt like I was reaching through time to feel her love and support at a time when I needed it most.

When you think about tumultuous points in the organizing process or at any time in life, what anchors help you to restore your balance? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join our conversation!