Do you feel more stressed during the holiday season? What is the source? Holiday-related stress might revolve around travel planning, gift-giving, card-writing, decorating, over-committing, or entertaining.

As someone who enjoys and has hosted many gatherings, I continually work on reducing stress. Experience helps. The more I do something, the easier and less stressful it becomes, and the better I am at planning and navigating surprises. However, a more significant aspect is mindset. If I keep telling myself how stressed I am, what happens? I reinforce that feeling.

What is Scruffy Hospitality?

Recently, I heard about “scruffy hospitality,” which is a more relaxed approach to entertaining. It’s a practice and also a mindset. The idea is to prioritize connection and conversation over obsession with creating picture-perfect environments and Instagram-worthy meals. The concept includes having people over without cleaning up first and approaching food more simply. Instead of making elaborate dishes, ‘scruffy’ entertaining loves potlucks, leftovers, and takeout.

While “scruffy hospitality” was coined a decade ago by Jack King, an Anglican priest from Tennessee, it has received more attention in the last few years. It rejects unrealistic social media standards that create pressure on us to be “perfect hosts.” Scruffy hospitality is a nod to embracing imperfection and authenticity. These involve letting go.

For this holiday season, especially if you’re stressed, I encourage you to incorporate some ‘scruffy’ into your life. It will look different for each person. Consider how beneficial scruffy hospitality could be for reducing your stress.

As a seasoned host, ‘scruffy’ isn’t a term I naturally associate with entertaining. I like to clean and prepare. Don’t get me started on my to-do lists. I enjoy the visual aspect of decorating the tables, arranging flowers, and creating colorfully plated dishes. Those aspects aren’t stressful for me. However, those and other aspects of entertaining might be stressful for you. And if it is, some of the suggestions below can help.

11 Ways to Reduce Holiday Stress by Embracing Scruffy Hospitality

• Reframe Clean – Do a quick clean instead of a deep one. Or hire someone else to clean.
  

• Organize Less – Declutter the dining room only, leaving all other areas in their ‘as is’ state.

• Recruit Help – Ask guests to bring parts of the meal.

• Minimize Decor – There is no need to go wild. A single plant, a small vase of flowers, a bowl of fruit, or an arrangement of gourds is a minimalist way to decorate a table. You can also leave things bare.

• Be Present – Cook with your guests instead of preparing things in advance.
  

• Try Self-Serve – Set up your food buffet-style rather than as a plated, sit-down meal.

• Don’t Cook – Forget about cooking anything. Purchase the entire meal or a few dishes.
  

• Do Less - Simplify your menu with fewer choices or prepare dishes requiring minimal ingredients.
  

• Dress Down – Be comfortable and show up as you are. No fancy clothes are required.
  

• Reduce Scope – Fewer guests can make the gathering more manageable. Dial down your invite list to reflect your ideal number of guests.

• Simplify Gift Giving – Focus on clutter-less gifts for you and the recipients. Give meaningful time-centered gifts like movie tickets, museum passes, or personal care services.

“Scruffy hospitality is a nod to embracing imperfection and authenticity.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

How I’m Incorporating Scruffy Hospitality This Season

One thing I decided to do differently this year is not to bake the apple and pumpkin pies. Instead, our daughter generously offered to make pies. While I’ve always baked, removing the pie-baking task frees up some time and reduces stress around coordinating kitchen usage with my husband. We share cooking for Thanksgiving and work around each other’s schedules and tasks. No pie baking this year means I’ll eliminate the stress of negotiating for counter, oven, and refrigerator space.

The other area where ‘scruffy’ applies is the number of guests. We love having a houseful of family and friends for the holidays. However, some guests have health issues or scheduling conflicts this year. While we’ll miss them greatly on Thanksgiving, fewer guests give me more time to talk with people. Managing the flow of the space is less stressful with fewer people, too.

Human-Considered Holidays

The holidays don’t have to be stressful. There are many ways to increase joy and minimize stress. How can you relax your approach to holiday hospitality? What will help you make it more joy-filled and less stressful? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

Do you want help decluttering, organizing, brainstorming, or planning? Do you need an accountability partner? I’m here for you. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward - A local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.

This coming week is Thanksgiving. Are you ready? I’m not, but I will be by the time people arrive. I’m pacing myself. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. Sure. I love preparing and eating yummy foods like cranberry sauce, turkey, sweet potatoes, and pumpkin pie. As delicious as those foods are, I am most grateful for having our family and friends bring their warm, loving energy into our home. I can’t wait to welcome everyone!

Due to the pandemic, we didn’t have a big group (or any group) for the past few Thanksgivings. But this year, my husband and I are preparing for 24 guests. Full disclosure. After a few years off, I feel a bit out of practice. How are you feeling about hosting or attending a gathering? Are you nervous, anxious, or excited?

As I round the event week corner, I realize there are several things I need to acknowledge and prepare so I will be and feel ready. I hope these ideas will help you too.

5 Ways to Prepare Your Head, Heart, & Home for Thanksgiving

1. Let Go

A lot of things are happening right now for me. We’re upgrading our electricity at home, working on fixes for my sluggish computer, creating a new workshop, working with organizing clients, and thinking about Thanksgiving prep. Guess what? Especially with the disruptions in my environment from the renovation and computer challenges, my mental energy is low. As humans, we often find ourselves juggling multiple things. Does that feel familiar?

Right now, the best I can do is to let go. I’m not talking about ball-dropping. Instead, I’m referring to slightly lowering the expectation bar and not trying to control everything. That means- responding to emails in an appropriate but not immediate timeframe, suspending the worry loop, not scheduling more things this week, and not trying to do everything myself. My mantra these days is, “It’s going to be OK.”

What can you let go of?

2. Take Care

As things have gotten more hectic, I’ve noticed that some of the great habits I built this year have slipped. I still walk, but those 10,000 steps a day are more elusive to hit. My goal to only eat a sweet treat once or twice weekly has been broken. Don’t judge. Instead of getting mad at myself, I’m extending some grace and focusing on the self-care pieces I am doing.

These include meditating daily, logging my food, getting adequate sleep, drinking enough liquid, eating healthy food, journaling, and staying in touch with family and friends.

I recognize there will be time to refocus on resetting the good habits I’ve let slide. But now, I’m offering myself a gentler perspective. I’m doing what I can while factoring my extra stress. My reminder is, “Be kind to yourself.”

3. Work the Lists

Are you a list maker? I am. Lists provide a great source of relief because they help me stay focused on what’s most important, provide a road map to organize a big event or project, and give me satisfaction (yay, endorphin ping!) when I cross an item off. Done feels great!

While I haven’t accomplished most of my Thanksgiving tasks yet, I updated my three lists to help me organize for the week. Reviewing and updating was confidence-boosting. My lists include:

• Thanksgiving List – High-level plan including guests, what’s being served, who’s bringing what, and tasks.

• Thanksgiving Shopping List – Details the dates, stores to shop, and specific items to purchase.

• Thanksgiving To Do Plan – Organizes tasks by day. For example, today includes updating Thanksgiving lists (done,) writing a blog post (will be done by the time you’re reading this,) and assessing paper goods.

Talking about working the lists, my husband and I have been tag-teaming it for decades. We’ve hosted hundreds of gatherings and events. Guess what? Steve has his own lists, which are more detailed than mine. Do you prefer sticky notes organized on a wall, electronic lists, bullet journals, or lined notebook paper? What’s important is creating an effective way to track and organize your tasks. Use what works for you.

What list-making method do you like?

“It’s going to be OK.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

4. Ask for Help

Thank goodness we are in this world together. It’s important to acknowledge when you need help. For instance, as much as I’d love to rewire our house myself (not really), it’s not my skill set. I am grateful for our electrician, who is the expert and knows how to get this done. With my computer, I tried using Apple support. But after two frustrating weeks of troubleshooting with no success, I finally hired an onsite tech person to diagnose and fix the problems. My computer runs better and faster, and I have concrete next steps. In addition, I have a complete understanding of what was going on.

When it comes to Thanksgiving, Steve and I do most of the prep work. However, there are many opportunities to enlist help. I’m so grateful our kids are arriving early to help with table set-up, cooking, errands, and more. Some guests have offered to bring food, which I gratefully accept. On the day of, others will offer to set up food, clear dishes, refill the ice bucket, serve food, or move furniture around. I won’t be shy about asking for or accepting help. It takes a village, folks.

What help do you need now?

5. Feel the Joy

Laughter, love, and smiling faces. Hugs, conversations, and unforgettable moments. Getting caught up in the stress and pressure of doing and preparing is so easy. While it will take focus and effort to create our Thanksgiving gathering, I don’t want to get so stressed out that I miss the joy of being with loved ones. I am committed to finding all the joy opportunities- baking pies, setting the table, sweeping the front path, hugging my loved ones, gathering around the table for a meal, watching people enjoy each other’s company, and feeling a house full of love.

What joyful moments are you anticipating?

From my heart to yours, I wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving. What can you do today to reduce stress and increase joy? Which ideas resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

It’s fascinating how big changes are made. They start with small, almost unnoticeable habit shifts. On your journey to be free of clutter, you donate a bag of rarely worn clothes or edit and clear the pile of unsorted mail from your kitchen counter. These tiny, single actions can bring about significant changes when consistency and support are added to your effort. 

The other aspect of making meaningful changes is the need for time and mental energy to make them happen. When you’re preoccupied, running as fast as you can to keep up, or emotionally exhausted, change is the last thing on your mind. You can’t stop your life to make a change. Instead, to integrate new habits, it’s essential to create space in your life for prioritizing the change you desire. 

In the last several years, I’ve experienced many emotional energy pulls. These included taking care of my mom with dementia, saying my final good-byes to her last March, grieving, navigating the pandemic’s effects on my organizing business, and preparing for and having our youngest daughter’s wedding at our home during the pandemic. Despite these emotional highs and lows, I’ve found focused intervals to bring about changes in my life. Admittedly, many of these changes came into being when I had more mental energy to give them.

Coincidentally, the three anchors/words, which rhyme, kept me motivated and focused on my desired changes. They are Zoom, Noom, and Room.

While these specific ideas might not be on your change radar, I encourage you to consider which words are. Which anchors will help you pursue the changes you seek? How will you make the space and time for change to flourish?

3 Hopeful Ideas Motivated Big Changes in My Life Which Can Help You Too

1. Zoom

Communication, relationships, and community are some of my treasured values. When the pandemic arrived, many communication networks halted. Most in-person contact was suspended. I couldn’t visit with family, friends, colleagues, or clients. Sure I still had the phone, text, and email, but physical contact was limited and non-existent for extended periods.

Using Zoom became an incredible go-to tool that helped me slowly change and think about how I interacted, did business, and stayed socially active. I’m guessing that many of you are Zoomed-out, but for me, Zoom continues to be a viable way for navigating life and keeping connected with people. 

I embraced communication changes and used Zoom to-

• Have bimonthly family meetings aka ‘SamFam Zoom’

• Host parties and gatherings for cocktails, New Year’s Eve, and Thanksgiving

• Attend comedy events, yoga class, Shivas, Seders, religious services, retreats, cook-offs, bonfires, and breakfasts

• Enjoy virtual ‘coffee dates’ with family and friends

• Continue my professional development

• Add to my certifications becoming a Certified Virtual Professional Organizer (CVPO™)

• Engage in organizing conferences, business meetings, and networking

• Present organizing workshops

• Pivot my business and help clients through virtual organizing

Zoom provided a channel to nurture and develop relationships, shift my organizing business, learn, and teach. While most in-person activities are now possible as many pandemic restrictions lift, Zoom still remains a viable way for me to stay connected. The platform allowed me to be flexible during these last few years, quickly embrace change, and support what I value most.

2.  Noom

Being healthy is a top priority for me. While I had some healthy practices like meditating daily and eating lots of fruits and vegetables, I wanted to change other habits. For what seems like a bazillion years, one of my goals has been to ‘lose 10 pounds.’ I’ve never been a dieter and didn’t like the idea of going on a diet. Instead, about five years ago, I saw a tremendously helpful nutritionist. She gave me a better understanding of what foods and portions were best for me. Over eight months, I lost 15 pounds. But then, in time, I gained it back and more.  The ongoing support was vital, and the difference was noticeable when I stopped seeing her.

Do you remember how I spoke about having the time and mental energy to bring about change? It takes focused effort to make eating and other lifestyle changes. When my mom died, I was emotionally exhausted. It took me months to get my energy back. When it returned, I felt ready to refocus on my health and make some changes.

In September, I signed up for Noom. It’s a weight loss app with a psychology-based approach to “help you change not just how you eat, but how you think.” It’s well-designed and simple to use. The app with built-in accountability helps me keep daily food logs, understand my calorie budget, track water intake, daily exercise, and weight. You are assigned a personal Coach and receive short articles every day, which encourage, motivate, and explain the psychology of habits.

While I’m still working towards my target goal, in five months, I have lost 18.5 pounds, I’m drinking 9 glasses of water a day, and walking an average of 10,000 steps a day. There have been other changes such as losing many inches around my body, clothing fitting better, feeling more energetic, learning new skills, and knowing I have a doable life-changing plan that’s working.

A bonus surprise was my husband signed up for Noom with me. He’s made incredible changes, and I’m so proud of him. We support one another, which is invaluable.

With any significant life change, it’s essential to have ongoing support, whether an app, person, Coach or all of those. If you’re curious about Noom, click here to learn more.

What do you need to bring about the habit changes you desire?

“Big changes start with small actions.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

3. Room

This last idea is about creating both physical and mental space in your life to feel calm, have room to think, and live with less stress. These changes were worth pursuing, and I have worked years to get there. For me, there is the physical manifestation, which comes in the form of an uncluttered home filled with colors, textures, and scents that soothe and delight. 

One of the goals I worked on last summer into fall, inspired by our vacation staying in a tiny house, was my ‘live with less’ project. While I had lots of stuff, I recognized I didn’t need or want it all. I started randomly going through drawers, closets, and files to let go of unnecessary things. It was cathartic and surprising how much stuff exited. I don’t miss anything.

The other part of ‘room’ is making space for your mental well-being. For me, that’s having quiet time, finding cozy spots to write, journal, or read, spending time in nature, exploring and photographing, meditating, or doing yoga. It’s making room for self-care and carving out time to feed my soul.

Especially with all that has happened in the world and the ongoing challenges, making time to replenish yourself is critical. It’s all too easy to get derailed by a crisis near or far. Our bodies are not designed to sustain continual stress.

What would it take to make room for you? What changes will help make room and space for your physical and emotional well-being?

Big changes start with small actions. What will be your anchors for change? What will provide motivation and support for the changes you desire? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

We’ve all been through a lot with the pandemic, change, loss, political unrest, uncertainty, and this sense that life is and will continue to be different. We’ve had to be flexible, resilient, and creative. Last year, many of us canceled Thanksgiving and other holidays that we usually celebrated. Instead, we found different ways to “be together.” Zoom was our new best friend. It was a lost year of non-celebrations and sadness for some of us because we missed the human contact and in-person gatherings. 

Personally, I’ve felt a great hole from the loss of my mom, who died this year. Yet somehow, as the months have passed, while I miss her greatly, I’m also feeling such gratitude for the wonderful people who are here. Through the tumult, friends, family, and colleagues have brought moments of joy and lightness to a challenging time. We’ve stayed connected through texts, emails, phone calls, social media, Zoom, FaceTime, and in person. 

My conversations this fall, which often were “walk and talks,” covered everything from challenges to successes, plans, hopes, dreams, family, friends, work, travel, feelings, stories, tears, laughter, and so much more. Many of these treasured moments happened while we walked side-by-side, taking in the beautiful views of nature or hearing the crunch of the leaves as our feet made contact with the forest floor. 

What does any of this have to do with organizing? Organizing can be about managing our physical stuff and also how we use and prioritize our time. Between pivoting my business to virtual organizing and letting go of things to “live with less,” I made time to stay connected. Life isn’t all about working and doing. It’s also about having time with the special people in your life. 

“Life isn’t all about working and doing.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

I am so profoundly grateful for my family, friends, colleagues, and clients. Life would not be the same without you. There are too many people to name. But I’d like to give a special shout-out to my wonderful husband, Steve, our amazing kiddos Cassie and Allison, and beautiful friends old and new Joanne, Yota, Christine, and Juliet. Thank you for the many ways you share your wisdom, love, and light.

Grateful for wonderful family and friends who bring their special blend of wisdom, compassion, humor, love, and light to this world.

As we navigate the holiday season, who do you want to connect with? Who are you grateful for? How do you connect with the people most important to you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.