Posts in Too Hard to Let Go
3 Tips for Letting Go

Letting go of stuff, negative thoughts, bad energy, and certain patterns can have the most rejuvenating effect. Recently this spring, I took some time doing just that. I let go of some things that needed releasing. If you're in need of an energy boost, maybe some of these ideas will be beneficial for you too. Peruse the list and try one.

3 Tips for Letting Go

1. Clutter Clearing:  Maybe the clutter is a small pile on the corner of your desk that feels like a mountain. Perhaps the clutter is your pile of clothes covering the bottom of your closet that makes it difficult to get dressed. Whatever and wherever the clutter is, spend some time sorting, releasing, and claiming back your space. I've had a growing pile of papers on my desk for too long. Each piece represented something to do, someone to call, a great idea to consider, or a random piece of intriguing information. When I finally decided, "Today's the day!” I filed, acted, and released. I felt so much lighter and happier. My thoughts were clearer, and so was my desk.

2. Thought Busters:  It's been an unusual and more stressful time than normal. Between losing my dad, having other family and friends in the hospital, running a business, going away for the annual NAPO conference, taking coaching classes, and working with coaching clients, I've felt overwhelmed. Things are beginning to calm down after many months of being overloaded. I finally realized how unhelpful it was to continue verbalizing the stress. It only fueled my negative thoughts. Instead, I decided to redirect my words to be more encouraging. I’ve decided to say, "I am doing my best, and that's good enough." I'm letting go of the guilt over what I'm not doing or could be doing. This is liberating.

3. Energy Boosters:  Are there people, things, or places that zap your sparkle? Is it time to let go of them? Paying attention to the things that deplete you is an important step in figuring out what to release. On the positive side, it's as important to be aware of what restores your energy. When we let go of the things that are troubling us, we make space for things that are nourishing. For me, I've been spending too much time inside. Instead of writing this post on my desktop, I went outdoors to write. I was able to enjoy the beautiful, sun-filled day. There was a slight breeze, the swooshing sound of the leaves rustling, birds chirping, and a distant woodpecker tapping. I could feel myself recharging as I sat and wrote. I let go of where I thought I should be writing and changed my environment. It made a huge difference. Be willing to move, shift and release. The outcome will surprise you.

What is your favorite letting go tip or experience? I invite you to join our conversation and share your thoughts.

Why Let Go?
Why Let Go?

Letting go creates both physical and emotional space. It also encourages growth. When we allow our unwanted belongings to be released, our spaces become less cluttered. In turn, we feel more supported being surrounded only by beautiful, useful and meaningful things. We experience less stress. When we let go of ideas that don’t serve us well, we allow space for clarity and growth.

There is also the letting go we experience as parents. It seems like moments ago when our youngest daughter, Cassie, was ready to leave for her freshman year of college. As I grappled with becoming an empty-nester and realized that life as we knew it was about to change, I started reading, Letting Go – A Parents’ Guide to Understanding the College Years by Karen Levin Coburn and Madge Lawrence Treeger. I thought it might provide some comfort and insight into this new experience. Cassie saw the book on my nightstand and asked me why I was reading it. Or in her words, “What’s up with this, Mom?” I explained that her going to college was a significant change in our lives and that reading the book might help me better understand this new stage. She responded, “Why do you have to let go? College is just borrowing me for a bit.”

Be open and let go. Embrace your growth.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

To some degree, she was right. Very soon, she will return home for the summer. So, in a sense, college did just “borrow” her for many months. But I realize that letting go didn’t mean cutting all ties as she was thinking about. Instead, it meant letting go of the dynamic that had existed, being open to this shift, stepping back enough to give Cassie more independence, and embracing a new stage of our lives. It has been an amazing year. I’ve watched her grow as she’s taken charge of her life and college experience. I, too, have experienced growth as I’ve pursued new projects, pushed myself beyond my comfort zone, and nurtured relationships with family and friends.

If you are grappling with letting go, whether it’s clothing, papers, memorabilia, or children, recognize that it might be uncomfortable as you shift from what you know towards a new dynamic. That discomfort is a necessary part of the process. Growth and clarity are waiting for you on the other side of the uncomfortable. Be open and let go. Embrace your growth.

 
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Spring is the Season to Let Go

Things are blooming and shifting. Spring turns much of our thoughts and actions to change and letting go. Some are clearly visible like our renewed focus on decluttering our spaces. Some are internal like our struggle to release the unessential. Letting go can be looked at from many perspectives including attitude, balance, bravery and possibilities. I compiled some favorite quotes from my collection to encourage a conversation about letting go.

 

ATTITUDE - Letting go of the familiar or sentimental can be challenging. Nourishing our thoughts with an open attitude can make all the difference.

 “When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”

- Alexander Graham Bell

 “It’s not the daily increase but daily decrease. Hack away at the unessential.”

- Bruce Lee

 

BALANCE - Letting go doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Think about finding a comfortable “letting go” balance by evaluating what’s essential from what is holding you back emotionally or physically.

“A big part of letting go is recognizing when it is time to stay in a situation and when it is time to move one.”

- Darren L. Johnson

“The art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.”

- Havelock Ellis

 

BRAVERY - Letting go can be scary. It takes a dose of bravery and perhaps some deep breaths to allow room for growth.

“Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.”

- Raymond Lindquist

“Think about any attachments that are depleting your emotional reserves. Consider letting them go.”

- Oprah Winfrey

 

POSSIBILITIES - Letting go is about change and growth. When we let ourselves venture forth, we move out of our own way to set the stage for positive outcomes.

“Every exit is an entry somewhere.”

- Tom Stoppard

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”

- Lao Tzu

 

Have you encountered any successes or challenges with letting go?  What’s possible for you now?

How to Prepare to Let Go With 8 Wonderful Ways
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Preparation is essential when it comes to letting go. It’s being in a state of readiness. I became acutely aware of the connection between preparation and letting go on my recent trip to San Diego. I was away for almost a week as an attendee and exhibitor at NAPO’s annual conference for professional organizers. I didn’t just walk out the door. I needed to get ready both mentally and physically in order to leave my normal routine and enjoy the adventure ahead.

This idea of preparing to let go resonated with me. Many of us experience challenges in this arena whether we are letting go of places, people or things.

8 Ways to Prepare to Let Go

If you are having difficulty letting go, perhaps some of my thoughts about preparation will help you to move forward.

  1. Plan – To leave things behind, it helps to know that they are in good shape. This might involve organizing our papers, arranging our family’s schedules, or finding resources to donate our treasures. Knowing that our affairs are in reasonable order helps prepare us to move ahead.

  2. Focus – Be in the moment. It’s so common to dwell on the past or worry about the future. Focusing on where you are enables you to enjoy the present and let go when the time comes.

  3. Embrace – While being in the moment is important, preparing emotionally to embrace the joy that will come from change is key. Letting go can be painful, but presents us with wonderful opportunities that we couldn’t have imagined otherwise.

  4. Emote – When letting go is involved, our emotions will be too. Expect a range of feelings from distress to elation. These and everything in between are normal. Allowing yourself to feel along the journey is key in letting go and processing your experiences.

  5. Dare – Helen Keller said, “Life is a daring adventure or nothing.” Bravery is required to let go of the familiar and forge ahead to the unknown. Take a deep breath and tap into your brave side.

  6. Control – The opposite of letting go is control. For many of us, the unwillingness to relinquish control prevents us from moving forward. Interestingly though, by giving up some control, we allow ourselves and those near us to flourish.

  7. Rejuvenate– Leaving behind our schedules, lives or clutter can renew our energy, increase our focus and move us in new directions. Letting go rejuvenates our spirit and gives us a chance to look at things from a refreshed perspective.

  8. Dream – Imagine the positive for what our lives, spaces and relationships will be like when we allow ourselves to let go of the things that are holding us back. While none of us can predict the future, filling our thoughts with positive expectations can motivate us to let go.

Let’s return for a moment to my San Diego trip. Before I left there were many things I had to let go of.  I focused on the word “reasonable,” while I negotiated between the fantasy and reality of what I wanted to accomplish before leaving. This blog post was one of those items. I ran out of both time and energy to write it before leaving. Instead, I renegotiated with myself about what was possible. This allowed me to let go of the “shoulds,” find satisfaction in the “dids,” and enjoy the “what ifs.”

I’d love to hear from you. What helps shift you into a state of readiness?