Posts in Too Hard to Let Go
A Pattern: Live, Acquire, Release

We live. We acquire. We release. There are many patterns in life, and this is one of them. Is this familiar to you?

 

We live.

What does it mean to live? At the most basic level, it’s about being alive, breathing, existing. Yet for most of us, that’s not enough. We want our lives to have meaning. We want to give, to love, to connect with others. We want to explore, to create, to taste, to feel, to see, to touch all that we can. We want to do and just be. Do we spend our time with what matters most to us? Or do we spend our time stuck, feeling anxious, overwhelmed by our things, wishing that life were different, or that we were different? We live. But how do we live?

 

We acquire.

The “stuff” of life comes to us. We either intentionally acquire it or receive it from others. The sources can be physical, digital, or emotional. We range in our acquiring patterns from overconsumption to more minimalist approaches. As professional organizers, part of the work we do is about helping our clients manage their acquisitions. We teach them to edit, organize, and let go of the “stuff” that no longer serves a purpose for them. The acquiring is easy. However, once something belongs to us, it gives that “thing” more importance than it had before it entered our lives. When our emotional attachment takes hold, it can make letting go more challenging. What is enough? Knowing that there will be a time to let go, how will that influence our acquiring behaviors? How much time do we want to spend managing our “stuff?”

 

We release.

The ultimate letting go is with our last breath. Before that happens, there are many other types of letting go along the way. All of the things that we’ve collected and edited and organized and struggled with eventually move on. Either we take personal responsibility for our possessions and make arrangements for their release, or we don’t. If we don’t, it becomes someone else’s responsibility. This someone might be a loved one or a stranger. Working with both elders and their adult children, this struggle around keeping or letting go is an integral part of my work. It’s also part of my personal experience as a parent and daughter. If our “stuff” is a burden on us, what does it become for those it’s left to?

 

We live. We acquire. We release. We know the pattern. What resonates with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Are you having challenges or successes in any of these areas? Please add to the conversation.

10 Ways to Let Go & Move On

Our “stuff” can clutter our spaces, schedules, and minds. This can result in overwhelm or procrastination. Sometimes we need a boost to activate our letting go rhythm. Are you curious about how to feel less encumbered? I’ve put together a few ideas and resources to help you let go and move on.

 

Ways to Let Go

When we let go, we gain space, peace of mind, and focus. We also receive that feel good lift, when we donate, give, or recycle things that provide a benefit to others.

1. Clothing - Do you own any clothes that are too small, too big, or too unflattering? Do they include purchasing mistakes, items you’ve outgrown, or gifts received that don’t match your style? You won’t wear or use them, but someone else might. Get the donation bags ready.

2. Paper - Are your old telephone, utility bills, and other non-tax deductible receipts occupying valuable filing cabinet or surface space? Do you have scraps of paper with illegible notes written on them? Those papers can go. Shred ones that include your name, address, or account information. Check your county’s schedule for free shredding and recycling days.

3. Distractions - Are the dings and pop-ups on your digital devices and computers making it difficult to focus and be productive? Are you ready to let go of these hard to resist alerts? Consider using one of the many apps or programs that help control “ding management.”

4. Electronics - With changing technology and shorter product lifespans, you probably have a growing collection of outdated cell phones, chargers, TVs, computers, digital cameras, and other electronic gadgets. They’re occupying space, not being used, and collecting dust. Activate your recycling options.

5. Photos - I love photos as much as the next person. What about the images (digital or paper) you have that are duplicates, out of focus, or not meaningful? Make room for what’s significant, organize the keepers, and let go of the rest.

 

Ways to Move On

Once you’ve activated your decision-making skills and opted to let go, don’t stop there. Use these resources to complete the process and help you and your things move on.

6. Vietnam Veterans of America - Free pick up is available for donating clothing, toys, shoes, books, electronics, household & more.

7. Concentrate - This Mac App eliminates distractions and improves focus.

8. Earth911 - The site has resources searchable by location for recycling electronics such as game consoles, MP3players, computer peripherals, and digital cameras.

9. Best Buy - They offer both trade-ins and recycling for computers, peripherals, cell phones, digital cameras, TVs and more.

10. MyPublisher - This is an easy to use website helps you create high quality photo albums from your digital photos.

What letting go challenges or successes have you encountered? Do you have favorite “moving on” resources? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!

5 Big Surprises About Professional Organizers & The Things They Collect

It may surprise you that many organizers are also collectors. I’m one of them. I collect many things including Pez dispensers, cobalt blue glass, trinkets, floating pens, sparkly things, and beautiful Pinterest images. I no longer collect rocks, cat-related objects, pins, or leotards. Tastes change. Focus changes. Letting go happens. I was interested in knowing more about organizers’ collections, the influence it had on their organizing work, and letting go issues. To understand more, I reached out to several of my colleagues (Janine Adams, Ruthann Betz-Essinger, Nancy Borg, and Karen Fulks.) They shared a range of perspectives about the “stuff” of life, collecting it, managing it, and letting go of it. My deepest gratitude goes to each of them for exploring their collecting and letting go experiences with us. Keep reading for some insights about the path of our possessions.

I asked my colleagues . . . 

  • What do you collect?
  • How has your organizing work influenced your collecting habits?
  • What letting go challenges have you experienced with your collections?

 

Contained Collections

“When I was in my twenties, I traveled internationally for my work and I started collecting fountain pens, which were abundant and affordable in other countries. I added to the collection for a few years and when I stopped traveling so much, I stopped collecting.

The collection lives in a fishing tackle box in the basement. Today, I literally had to dust off the box before opening it (for the first time in probably 20 years) and inside I found 43 neatly stored fountain pens. 

The organizer in me just had to consider letting go of the collection: I certainly don’t use these pens. Heck, I don’t even think about the collection. But looking at the pens, they bring back memories of my travels and, yes, of my youth. Should I let them go? Perhaps. Are they worth enough to sell? I have no idea, but it’s conceivable. Will I sell them? I sincerely doubt it, unless I find myself with a whole lot of time on my hands.

For now, I have plenty of room to store this small, contained collection. Perhaps I’ll give the pens away to a fountain-pen-loving young person one day. In the meantime, I appreciate the opportunity to reacquaint myself with these lovely pens!”

Janine Adams, CPO®, CPO-CD® – Professional Organizer, Blogger, Speaker & Blogger

 

Useful Collections

“I collect books and anything with Vera Bradley’s name on it.  Since becoming an organizer I have learned that the best collections need to be visible and/or useful. What is the point of something that is unseen or not used? Today, I give away any fiction books I have read, either to a friend or a library. I have also started buying more e-books.  My Vera Bradley collection is a little trickier, but I do rotate my purses and totes on a monthly basis. If I don’t use something within the year, it’s gone. I limit the number of Vera items to the volume of the storage container in which they are kept. Letting go is hard but the more you practice, the easier it gets. Also, knowing that another person might get the same thrill over an item that once thrilled you, makes it easier to give up.”

Ruthann Betz-Essinger, CPO®, MBA – Business & Residential Organizer & Speaker

 

Memories-Inspired Collections

“When my parents retired and downsized their “giraffe” figurines (both large & small), it was with great sadness that I watched them ‘let go’ of their lifelong collection. It was storytelling at its best. It signified wonderful days gone by and so it felt very heavy-hearted to bid them farewell.

When I married, while I loved the ‘idea’ of starting a collection of something, I understood that interests change and so too would our collections of ‘things.’  I recalled that my parent’s passion had faded though the years, and that those great long-necked treasures had eventually become even greater dust collectors.

35 years later, it is artwork, home décor, and treasured photo albums that fill our home and rekindle memories. We used to collect matchbooks from every restaurant, near and far. Although no longer an active (nor displayed) collection, I still delight in digging into a Ziploc and discover the favorite places that retell our stories.”

Nancy Borg – Professional Organizer & Blogger

 

Organized Collections

“Fact:  In our house, there are 40+ collections and 10,000 books. Working for years with ‘collectors,’ the easiest way to start with collections is to use the motto of Organizers worldwide: Like with like. And break it down again. For my/our obsessions: alphabetize books, put found money in by date, vintage knit potholders on kitchen walls, group cigar boxes by size, etc. But...snowglobes, the largest collection? After building narrow shelf units, groups formed – states, countries, animals, strange. The collection grew, as did the groups. We moved recently, (ok, 7 years ago), were undecided as to location, so all went to the attic and haven’t been looked at until…today, writing this – yep, still in attic, still undecided, and most fairly intact. I pretend I’m my client. I loved these unique snowglobes. Ha! Past tense & there’s my answer. Easy? No, but if I take pictures, I won’t have to dust them.”

Karen Fulks – Professional Organizer since 1984 & Collector since 1951

 

Passion, control, loss, and inquisitiveness reside in these stories. We experience unusual relationships to our objects and collections. How do we choose what to keep or to let go of? Our “things” can have a unique hold on us and therefore we create parameters and boundaries around them. These come in both physical and emotional forms such as fitting them into a specific containers or questioning the value of our emotional attachments. What resonates with you? Are you a collector, or do you know one? How do your attachments to “collected” objects influence your letting go habits? I invite you to share your thoughts about collecting, letting go, and boundaries. Come join the conversation!

Letting Go of Perfection

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”

- Anna Quindlen

Life’s not perfect, but it’s pretty darn wonderful. Why are we so demanding of our selves, others, and situations? Why do we expect perfection, when we know it doesn’t exist, except perhaps if we’re talking about chocolate lava cake? Letting go of the idea of perfection is one of the secrets to happiness.

I am not suggesting that you abandon striving for excellence. I’m instead encouraging you to consider another perspective, one that keeps you moving forward in a positive way. When perfection is the goal, it can cause procrastination or paralysis. How about replacing the perfection goal with excellence, personal best, pretty freaking awesome, really great, or good enough. What else might work?

On your way to fabulous, remember to give yourself a high five, and delight in what you are doing and being. Be grateful for the joy and beauty that is present every day. It’s time to let go of perfect. Go out there and be awesome! It’s good enough.

When you let go of perfection, what will be possible? Come join the conversation and share your thoughts about letting go, perfection, and good enough.