It’s a funny thing about possibilities. Dreaming and imagining are part of a possibility-thinking process. Simultaneously, angst, ambivalence, or uncertainty can also be present. Why is that?

You understand and live your current reality. It may not be how you want it, but it’s familiar. Thinking about alternatives can be thrilling, anxiety-producing, or scary. Change requires time, attention, and resources, which you might or might not have.

Something happened to me recently. Who knew a seemingly simple guest bedroom renovation and organizing project would be such an emotional, satisfying, liberating, and poignant experience?

For years, I wanted to reimagine our guest bedroom. Initially, the room was my art studio and office. After our first daughter, Allison, was born, it became her bedroom. When her sister, Cassie, was born, it became their shared space, “the girls’ room.” Fast-forward to them leaving for college, and it turned into a guest room. However, while I made a few minor changes after they left, I never altered the wall colors, window treatments, or closet.

The girls said, “Mom, you can change the room any way you want. It’s OK.” They repeated this message to me for years. The kids had moved on and kept encouraging me to, too. However, part of me wasn’t ready to let go of certain remnants of their living-at-home years. How could I paint over Allison’s murals or cover up the pencil growth chart markings? Also, I didn’t have the mental bandwidth to figure out how I wanted the room to be until now.

Possibilities Meet the Moment

What shifted? We had other home improvement projects happening, and I knew that the guest room’s time had come. My motivation to make this change was heightened. I didn’t want another year to pass without completing this goal. I was finally ready to turn possibilities into reality.

9 Phases of the Guest Bedroom Project

• Imagine – Envision the possibilities. What do I want the room to look and feel like? How can I make it comfortable for guests and also include functional storage? What will the color scheme be? Can I refer to old vision boards or other visual inspiration sources?

• Plan – Think through the process. How much time do I need to complete this project? Where can we (my husband, Steve, and I) carve out time in our schedule to work on this? How much of this project can we do ourselves? How much outside help do we need? Should we rip out and install a new closet interior or only paint the existing one?

• Gather Resources – Identify vendors and resources. Which vendors can I use for painting and construction, purchasing blinds, framing, buying furniture, and redoing the closet? Which vendors are best for buying organizing containers and other products?

• Budget – Determine the costs. What estimates do I need to get? What will different parts of the project cost (painting, furniture, headboard, bedding, blinds, closet, bins)? What is our overall budget?

• Empty – Prepare the space for transformation. What must be removed from the room to prepare for painting and construction, and when can we empty it? How can I prepare emotionally for the temporary chaos and disruption?

• Renovate – Do the work. How many days will the painter need to prepare, demo the closet, patch, and paint? After the room is painted and before we return the contents, when can Steve install the new Elfa® closet? When can Steve install the new window blinds?

• Edit – Make decisions about room contents. Which items can I let go of by selling, donating, tossing, or giving away? Which things will return to the room? Which items need to be replaced? Which items belong elsewhere?

• Organize – Return ‘keepers’ in an organized way. How will the contents be organized back into the room? Which items will need new storage containers? Do they need labels?

• Finish – Complete the final touches. When will all furniture, lights, books, memorabilia, and games be returned to the room? Which bedding will I use? When can we hang the pictures, mount the wall hooks, and add the door stop? When will I consider the room done?

Emotional Surprises

When we emptied the room to prepare for the painter, I was surprised by how emotional I felt. I was physically handling boxes of the kiddos’ memorabilia, photo albums, books, games, and art. Touching, moving, and looking at objects from the past stirred up many emotions. I felt a powerful combination of gratitude, sadness, joy, and love.

I saw photos and objects from the past. Some images were of loved ones who are no longer alive. I looked at the kids’ art, writings, and school projects. I marveled at our detailed records of the milestones and everyday experiences. It was a journey of emotions as I reflected and remembered the beautiful years we spent raising our daughters.

Even when the room was empty, I could feel the love reverberating within its walls. Cherished memories traveled through time and space, which filled my heart and mind.

“Bringing possibilities to fruition is gratifying.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Practicing Flexibility

During the project, I remained flexible about my options, which was helpful. When a room's contents are removed, many unanticipated things can happen. Gifting yourself the flexibility to make new or different choices is beneficial.

• Closet – The closet required some thought. Do we paint the existing closet or rip it out to install a new one? It would cost more to have a new closet interior. However, time-wise, it seemed most practical to redo it now. Plus, we would gain more storage space.
  

• Furniture – After emptying the room, we liked how spacious it felt with less. While we intended to return the desk, we realized it was unnecessary and took up too much space. I’m letting go of the desk.
  

• Art – After emptying the room and painting the interior, Allison’s murals and other framed art were no longer visible. With blank walls, I reimagined the space. We decided to have more blank wall space and only hang a few pieces, including a new one. I printed and framed one of the landscape photos I had taken in the Finger Lakes.
  

• Memorabilia – I texted the kiddos photos and asked what they wanted to keep. I respected their responses and either let go or kept things accordingly. I also shared several pictures of their projects, writings, and other memorabilia I thought they’d get a kick out of seeing.

9 Lessons Learned

• Imagining possibilities is fun and creative.

• Bringing possibilities to fruition is gratifying.

• Change is refreshing.

• Change encourages more change.

• Emptying one room sparked a reimagining, tweaking, and reorganizing of other areas, such as the pantry and our bedroom.

• Letting go of things that have overstayed their welcome is liberating.

• Life has stages. Organizing your space for the phase you’re in is affirming.

• Embrace gratitude for what was and what is.

The Bedroom Transformation Video

What’s Possible for You?

How does possibility thinking show up for you? What changes have you made or want to make? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Are you ready to get unstuck, plan a new project, or create new organizing systems? If so, I’m here to help. Please email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or schedule a Discovery Call. Moving forward is possible, especially with support.

The newest installment (v34) of the “What’s Interesting?” feature has my latest finds informing, educating, and relating to organizing and life balance. These are unique, inspiring, next-step-related discoveries that reflect this month’s blog theme. 

You are a generous, communicative, and engaged group. I am deeply grateful for your presence, positive energy, and contributions to this community. I look forward to your participation and additions to the collection I’ve sourced.

What do you find interesting?

What’s Interesting? – 5 Best Next Step-Related Discoveries

1. Interesting Read – Positive Self-Talk Next

Is the voice in your head your biggest cheerleader or harshest critic? Does it guide you forward or prevent you from figuring out next? In Chatter – The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It, psychologist Ethan Kross shares strategies based on behavioral and brain research. He helps us understand how to quiet the negative self-talk and create a positive internal conversation. Kross says, “…when the inner voice runs amok and chatter takes the mental microphone, our mind not only torments but paralyzes us.”

Kross provides a few dozen tools for “helping people resolve the tension between getting caught in negative thought spirals and thinking clearly and constructively.” They include engaging in mental time travel, changing the view, writing expressively, creating a board of advisors, seeking awe-inspiring experiences, and increasing exposure to green spaces.

One strategy that especially resonated with me is creating order in your environment. Helping clients get organized for almost 30 years, I’ve seen the positive benefits of calming the internal chatter when the external environment is organized. Kross says, “Find your own way of organizing your space to help provide you with a sense of mental order.”

2. Interesting Assessment – Get Unstuck Next

Let’s face it. Universally, we all get stuck at some point. It can be challenging to figure out the next step when that happens. Be stuck no more. I created this handy, custom-designed Get Unstuck Wheel, and you can spin your way forward. Discover the strategy that works best for you. There are 36 ideas to try, including taking deep breaths, sleeping on it, reaching out for support, and switching gears. What helps you get unstuck? Did you spin the wheel? If so, where did it land?

“Take the smallest, tiniest next step.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

3. Interesting Article  – Perfectionism Insights Next

Do you or someone you know have perfectionist tendencies? If you want to struggle less, read Ashley Broadwater’s HuffPost article, “There Are 3 Types of Perfectionism. Which Category Are You?” Broadwater describes each type and some helpful coping strategies. Therapist Emily Simonian encourages her clients to focus on small, next steps. She said, “A perfectionist of any type will likely want a ‘big win’ quickly if trying to recover from perfectionism, but baby steps are key. … [Recovery] is very much attainable with practice.”

• Self-oriented perfection – You expect the best from and are extremely hard on yourself. Practicing self-care and self-compassion can help.

• Other-oriented perfectionism – You expect others to be a certain way and become upset when they don’t meet your expectations. Practicing gratitude and mindfulness is beneficial.

• Socially prescribed perfectionism – You rely heavily on others’ thoughts about how you act or look and fear rejection. Strengthening your positive inner voice will help. This could be an excellent time to read Chatter (see #1 above.) 

4. Interesting Season – Get Organized Next

As color returns to the landscape, daylight lasts longer, and temperature becomes warmer; this is an inspirational time of year. Spring is a wonderful season to set your organizing goals, declutter the extraneous, and create the calm you deserve. Change is possible, especially with support. Struggle no more. Enlist help from a compassionate and non-judgmental friend, family member, or professional organizer like me. I’m here to help. Discover the benefits of virtual organizing and why my clients love it so much. Call 914-271-5673, email me at linda@ohsoorganized.com, or click the “Let’s talk!” button to schedule a discovery call. 

5. Interesting Thought – One Small Step Next

You want to declutter and organize your entire house, redo your filing and paper management systems, organize all of your photos and visual media, or change your organizing habits. However, these projects feel so large and overwhelming that you keep them as thoughts in your mind. No action gets taken because you feel stuck. It’s good to have the entire picture in your mind for what you want to achieve. However, you don’t have to know the whole plan. Take the smallest, tiniest next step. That is enough. Once that step is taken, acknowledge your progress and repeat the process. Continue taking action one little step at a time. 

What are your interesting, next step discoveries? Which of these resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

It’s hard to say goodbye and let go. At least, it is for me. As a matter of fact, for some, it’s so painful that they avoid it at all costs. After all, who likes pain? There are times, however, when we can no longer hold on. We learn to lean in towards the sadness and accept that it’s part of life. When it’s time to let go, we often feel loss. We’re aware that things are changing. We might pine for the past.

There are ways to let go lovingly, compassionately, and gently.  What works will be unique for each of us. This week, as I prepared myself to say my final goodbyes to our family home of 57 years, I identified some strategies that helped me along the way. I hope some of these ideas will help you when it’s time to let go.

10 Gentle Ways That I Learned to Let Go

1. Writing For Others– During the house organizing, clearing, and sale process, which began about seven months ago, I started sharing some of the discoveries with you through my blog. How to Improve Life Balance When Organizing Your Stuff is one of the posts from that series. Writing about my experiences in this way and having a dialogue with those experiencing similar things helped me process what was happening, connect with others in a more significant way, and let go, little by little, one blog post at a time.

2. Talking With Loved Ones – I don’t know what I would have done without the love, support, and wonderful listening ears of my husband, daughters, siblings, and other family members and friends. Collectively, they listened as I navigated the good days and challenging ones. They commiserated and offered their help and support. It was their supportive listening that was most appreciated. They supported me as I went through the challenges of transitioning out of the family home and letting go of it and all of its contents. 

3. Practicing Mindfulness– For the last year and a half, I’ve been practicing mindfulness meditation and living more mindfully. While there were a few months that I took a break from meditating daily, I’ve been pretty consistent. The practice has helped me to focus on the present, make peace with the past, and not get too anxious about the future. This practice of being present and mindful of the moment has also helped me beyond measure with letting go of the family home, and all that was within it. We have now, not then. We have now, not the future. We can hold our memories close, but if we focus too much on the past, we’ll miss what’s right in front of us…the present. Mindfulness practice has taught me that letting go is a path to being present.

4. Laughing Out Loud – On the day of the final house clear-out, Junkluggers had just emptied the remaining furniture from my dad’s office. Things looked stark and sad. Something on the floor caught my eye that had been hidden under the credenza. I bent down to pick it up and discovered the “OY VEY!” computer key I’d given to my dad years ago. My entire mood lightened. I burst out laughing. In that moment, I felt the love, support, and shared sense of humor my dad and I always had together. The laughter helped me let go a bit more that day and know that things were going to be just fine. During those challenging times of letting go, don’t underestimate the power of a good laugh.

5. Documenting the Process – As many of you know, I love taking photos. Thank you, iPhone! During this period, I took tons of photos as I sorted, edited, sent off, and let go of stuff. As I worked, I often shared images of my latest discoveries with my siblings, husband or kids. Together, we enjoyed the memories they invoked. Documenting and sharing things in this way helped me to more easily let go of the physical items. 

6. Writing in My Journal– Different from writing the blog posts, which were for public view, I also wrote in my private journal during this time. I’ve been journaling for 46 years. While I’m pretty open on the blog, my personal journal provided me with another venue for processing feelings and thoughts about what was happening. Writing in this personal way helped me to let go.

Below is a passage from one of my journal entries:

“What I understand is that letting go doesn’t mean we have to forget. It just means that we release ourselves from holding on. We release ourselves from an obligation or responsibility or expectation. We make a bit more space in our hearts and mind for new energy to flow. We lift the anchor. We sail on.”

— Linda Samuels

7. Saying Goodbye With My Daughter – The week we closed on the house, my oldest daughter, Allison, came with me to see the house for her last time. I knew I’d see the house again that week. But having her there to say her goodbyes, to take photos (yes, we took selfies) and to reminisce together, meant so much to me. Being there together side-by-side gave me great comfort. I let go a little more that day.

8. Documenting the Memories – On the day before the closing, I went to the house to say my final goodbyes. As I pulled into the driveway and walked up the path, a cute brown bunny hopped up the path and led me to the door. It was so funny and unusual to have this bunny escort. I went through every inch of the house taking short 20-60 second clips of each room. As I filmed, I talked out loud about what I was seeing and remembering. I walked around the first floor, then the basement, then to the top floor, and finally outside. I took my time and soaked in what I was seeing, feeling, hearing, and smelling. The past and the present were melding into one big picture, a picture that I would now have to hold in my mind and heart. I walked. I talked. I filmed. I cried. I said my goodbyes and let go.

9. Providing Safe Passage– In the organizing industry we have a term, “safe passage.” It has to do with letting go. If you’re able to find a good home for the things that you’re letting go of, you’ll feel better and more at peace with saying goodbye and letting go of those things. During the family home clear-out and sale, this was definitely true for me. It was easier to let go of the physical contents when I knew it was going to someone who would benefit from or appreciate it.  Having the home itself be bought by a family that would love and care for it as much as we did was also important to us. For the new family and to prepare the home itself for safe passage, I compiled an accordion file of house info essentials, including keys, manuals, and vendors. I also wrote them a note and left a gift basket. Doing these things made me feel that the house and its contents received safe passage, which provided some closure and allowed me to more easily let go.

10. Letting Go With Love– The last gesture that helped me let go and say my final goodbye was to make something. For me, creating is something that I enjoy, but also something that helps me process my thoughts and emotions. While there are many outlets that I use, like writing or photography, for this particular goodbye, I chose to make a video that blended music, words, and images of the house and family in the past and present. I shared it with my family and friends and am now sharing it with you. Different from the other videos that I create, this one is long (close to 9 minutes.) So don’t feel obligated to watch it. It’s not a marketing piece, which I intentionally keep short. It’s a piece about love, family, and letting go of my childhood home of 57 years.

Click below to watch "Goodbye, home." video . . .

Big exhale, folks. I’m feeling lighter and happier knowing that our home is in good hands, that all the stuff has found good homes, and that life will continue on in its beautiful, wondrous ways. What resonated with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts about letting go. Join the conversation!

My heart is full and continues to grow with positive emotions. During the holidays you often suspend regular activities. You have more time with family and friends. You have more time for sleeping late or visiting places that you don’t normally get to go. In the past few days I’ve had a wonderful infusion of fabulous meals and conversations shared with loved ones. And it’s not over yet. It’s just beginning.

Over the past weeks, I’ve enjoyed sharing with you my journey of organizing our childhood home of 56+ years and preparing it for sale. While organizing my family home, I discovered many treasures. I’ve been sharing them with you. This week’s shares are about humor. There were many emotional moments while sorting through the family “stuff.” However, in between the tears, some of the treasures I found helped me to laugh. They also reminded me that humor was ingrained in our family culture. To this day there’s nothing I enjoy more than laughing so hard that happy tears stream down my face.

It’s easy to move quickly through our day and not stop to allow in joy or humor. Or we might allow them in, but not stop to fully appreciate and be thankful for them. These particular finds that I’m sharing with you, helped me to find laughter and gratitude in these darker moments. Be on the lookout. What discoveries are waiting for you?

Humor in Cartoons

My Dad loved to draw cartoons. All of the cards and letters he wrote to me were signed, “Love, Dad.” However, instead of actually writing out the word, “Dad,” he always drew a funny caricature of himself. The cartoons related to where he was traveling or how he was feeling like Daddy with Mickey Mouse ears when he was in Disneyland or Daddy with a red nose if he had a cold. I loved his funny “Daddy cartoons.” While going through our childhood home, I was constantly looking inside books at his inscriptions, or in letters to my Mom, or in his note pads for undiscovered cartoons. This sketch of him on a trip to Bali was one of the things I found. Gratitude and laughter flooded my being.

Humor in Attitudes

Going through the family photos was quite the project. There were thousands of photos from my parents and their parents. We were a well-documented family. Some of the material was organized and some was not. So particularly when I was organizing the memorabilia, I kept finding photos mixed in with those boxes. This photo I found is of goofy-looking me at nine months old. There are photos of my sister and brother from the same time period. They look so normal. Then there’s me with my wide-eyed, curious expression. It’s hard not to laugh at that face. My family often told me that I was the one that made everyone laugh. And with a face like that, I can see why. I realized that humor was something that was in me early on. So while there was plenty to be sad about, it was my sense of humor that always helped me through. I’m grateful to my family for encouraging this part of me and for giving me many occasions to embrace the humorous side of life.

Humor in Play

On this one particular day during the organizing process, I was having a rough time. Things were moving slowly, the rollercoaster of emotions and lack of sleep were wearing on me, and I was just feeling raw. I was preparing for one of the eight pick-ups from the junk removal company and clearing out a corner of my Dad’s office. There were a lot of old computer disks and manuals under his desk that had to go. After I cleared out the piles, I noticed a small dark thing on the floor. When I bent down to pick it up, I was surprised to discover one of my Dad’s little toys. It gave me a great and much needed laugh and a welcome diversion from the sadness I had been feeling at that moment. My Dad had many toys in his office, as do I. This was a lovely reminder that humor is always at our fingertips. This is the short video clip I took that day to share with my family, which I’m now sharing with you.

We come from many different family cultures. Humor was a big part of mine. I’m so grateful for it and how it helped me when I was growing up and even now as an adult. It takes a moment to pause and be thankful. There are many ways to notice and appreciate these moments of gratitude. It’s part of our human experience. What have you noticed? What are you feeling thankful for?  I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!