There are times when life goes sideways. The unthinkable happens, and you feel you have no control over anything. Your mood is dark, and hope is barely accessible. Cognitively, you understand there are no guarantees in life and that chaos is present. Yet, how do you cope? What can you do when nothing makes sense, and things feel out of control?

I don’t pretend to have the answers or know what you’re experiencing. I’m navigating this challenging time, too. Yet, I have a few strategies that are helping me, which might be helpful to you.

Instead of focusing on the areas you have no control over, shift your attention. Identify and engage in what is nourishing and within your control.

5 Courageous Coping Strategies When Life Feels Out of Control

1. Supercharge Your Self-Care

Take care of yourself. During stressful times, you might ignore the basics. However, doing that makes you feel worse and less able to cope with challenges.

Recommit to self-care basics. Get enough sleep, hydrate, eat nutritiously, and move your body. Walking in nature has additional mood-boosting benefits.

Beyond essential self-care, consider getting a massage, manicure, or pedicure. Or how about taking a yoga, exercise, or meditation class?

Be kind to yourself and engage in intentional, mood-enhancing activities within your control.

“Recommit to self-care basics.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

 2. Engage With Your Community

You might want to retreat when feeling out of sorts. However, I encourage you to do the opposite. Reach out to those who are also feeling ‘it.’ You’re not alone.

Your friends and family may be struggling, too. Connect with your loved ones. Pool your strengths while offering and receiving support.

3. Curate the Input

Scrolling social media, listening to the news, and fueling the fire may not be the healthiest choice. Cut yourself off (even if temporarily) when the external input you’re allowing adds to those out-of-control feelings.

Just as I encouraged you to eat nutritious foods to nourish your body, do something similar for your mind. Curate the input to minimize anxiety-producing thoughts and maximize ones with a more positive effect.

This could be a great time to read that new book or your favorite magazine from cover to cover. Or maybe you prefer to watch a comedy show or movie.

I’m not suggesting you ignore the outside world forever, but for this day, while building your resilience, choose to disengage with stress-inducing news. Control the input.

“Identify and engage in what is nourishing and within your control.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

4. Make Something

There is a gift in making something from nothing. What kind of something? Maybe you like to bake, write blog posts or in journals, take photographs, write poetry, or knit scarves. Perhaps you want to paint, write music, do a craft project, or create fancy cocktails.

Take control of a joy-inducing physical activity and make something. Enjoy the process and the result.

I’ve already journaled and worked on this post. Guess what else I did? I baked (and ate) some Almond Butter Chocolate Chip cookies. Fortunately, these cookies are not only delicious but also nutritious. I just have to remember to eat them in moderation. Wish me luck.

5. Declutter Your Space

Physical disorganization and chaos in your environment can affect how you feel and function. The disarray adds to a feeling of lack of control. You don’t know where things are or have the mind space to focus.

There is mood-boosting power in decluttering and organizing. The act of doing, making a change, and then experiencing the benefits of that shift is palpable.

You can’t control everything, but you can improve your corner of the world (or desk).

Human Coping Skills

Remember, you are resilient, and you have people to lean on. To help navigate challenging times, exert control in tiny yet significant ways. This won’t change everything, but it will help to calm and ground you. What coping strategies do you use when life feels chaotic?

If you need help decluttering, organizing, planning, or grounding, I’m here for you. Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.

Are you feeling the fast whoosh of time passing with the holiday season arriving, the elections looming, and the year ending? It’s a lot to take in. You may feel overwhelmed. Perhaps you’re thinking about what goals you wanted to accomplish this year, the time left to do it, and what is actually possible.

Maybe your thoughts are occupied with ‘regular’ life maintenance to-dos plus hundreds of holiday-related tasks, including gift shopping, holiday meal prepping, guestroom readying, travel planning, and family and friends’ gatherings.

Breathe. You’re human, and you’re juggling many things.

I often say that life is in the joyful doing and presence of the moment. And while that’s all well and good, when you’re stressed and overwhelmed, accessing that presence can be more challenging.

With so much going on with work and family, externally and internally, this time of year, making tiny adjustments is helpful. Infusing compassion and mindfulness into your thoughts and actions will encourage a more joyful, fulfilling, and happier holiday season.

I offer you a thought, question, and strategy to help.

3 Ways to Prepare for a Compassionate Holiday Season

1. One Thought: “We don’t have to be perfect.”

Let’s remove the idea of perfection from the holiday season. Why impose more pressure, stress, or unrealistic expectations on yourself or others?

Try channeling your perfectionism energy differently. Focus your energy on one of these options instead:

• Excellence

• Personal best

• Good enough

• Progress

• Ease

• Done

As the Noom app said about overcoming thought distortions, “…it’s about recognizing that we don’t have to be perfect. We’re human.”

Which reframe of perfectionism (one suggested or something else) is helpful for you?

“Breathe. You’re human, and you’re juggling many things.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

2. One Question: “Am I putting myself in good positions and creating the conditions for success?”

One of my favorite recent discoveries is James Clear’s weekly 3-2-1 email, which my client told me about. The idea he wrote about last month feels relevant and worth sharing.

Clear wrote, “Forget about the outcome and focus on what precedes it.” He asks, “Am I putting myself in good positions and creating the conditions for success?”

Consider Clear’s question in the context of which actions and thoughts you can focus on to create a joyful, compassion-filled holiday season. They might include:

• Planning

• Lowering your expectations

• Creating boundaries

• Simplifying goals and tasks

• Decluttering

• Scheduling rest and renewal time

What will you choose to focus on to create a positive holiday season?

“We don’t have to be perfect.”

— James Clear

3. One Strategy: “Accept help.”

Do you tend to do everything yourself? Perhaps you don’t want to impose on others. Or, Seth Godin suggests you might think, “Doing the tasks is more efficient than coordinating the help.” Either philosophy results in you doing all the work, which can lead to resentment and exhaustion. Neither of those is a recipe for happy holidays.

Whatever the season, enlisting and accepting help improves your life. We’re human and benefit from the support and interactions with others. What type of help will benefit your life and infuse more ease? Who can you ask for help? How will that change your experience? If you’re having guests over and they offer to help, lean in and say “Yes.” Have tasks ready to delegate. It will make them feel comfortable and reduce pressure from your list.

Godin says, “It’s much more productive to accept help. When we have a project, part of the work is to enlist others in figuring out how to make the change we seek.”

Let me know if you’re stressed and need a thought partner, decluttering and organizing guide, planning help, or accountability buddy. In my virtual organizing sessions, I offer one-hour focused sessions, ongoing support, and personalized guidance to help you with your goals and challenges. I’m available and am ready to help.

Human Holiday

Do you know the 1953 movie Roman Holiday, starring Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck? This season, I encourage you to embody a Human Holiday.

• Let go of what you can.

• Invite in what you want.

• Enlist the help you need.

For a less stressful and happier holiday season and beyond, I’m here to help. Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.

When you feel disorganized, stuck, and overwhelmed, reaching out for help is beneficial. Getting support from a Virtual Professional Organizer can be the secret sauce for moving forward and living the life you crave.

You might be curious about:

• How does virtual organizing work?

• What is a typical virtual organizing session like?

• Will virtual organizing benefit me?

This guide to virtual organizing will help you discover the answers. If you have additional questions, contact me, Linda, anytime by email at linda@ohsoorganized.com or by phone at 914-271-5673.

Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward. My clients love working this way. One client recently said, “It’s like putting a needle on a compass. Now I can navigate.”

How Does Virtual Organizing Work?

Session Length & Frequency

• Typically, VO sessions are 60 minutes, although sometimes clients prefer 90-minute sessions.

• Meeting once per week is beneficial. However, the scheduling can be customized according to your preferences.

Platform Used

• Zoom is the preferred platform. However, FaceTime or the phone are alternative options.

• Calendly is used to schedule VO sessions. After scheduling, Calendly emails you a Zoom link and email and text reminders before each session.

• Have your phone, tablet, or laptop set up so we can see each other.

VO Rates

• Clients advance purchase single hours or packages of hours.

• The VO packages are beneficial because they offer savings on the hourly rate. Three, five, and twenty-hour packages are available.

• Credit cards, Zelle, or Venmo are accepted.

• Contact linda@ohsorganized.com for current rates.

Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™ - Virtual Organizing Session Ready

What is a Typical Virtual Organizing Session Like?

Session Description

• Virtual organizing is a flexible, creative, collaborative process. The objective for each session is to help you make progress on your goals with compassionate, non-judgmental support.

• Sessions begin by clarifying your goal for that session and reviewing how things went between sessions.

• The main part of the session can include planning, assessing, decluttering, organizing, overcoming obstacles, brainstorming, supporting decision-making, or many other options.

• At the end of each session, we do a quick wrap-up, discuss the “field work” you want to work on and schedule our next VO.

Pre-Session Prep

• Remove as many distractions as possible- phone calls, emails, pets, and people.

• Care for your personal needs before the session- hydrate, eat, and be well-rested.

• Set up your digital device (laptop, phone, or tablet) so I can see you and the area we’ll work on. You’ll want to be hands-free. A stand or tripod works well.

• If we are going to work on physical organizing, have some organizing supplies such as markers, sticky notes, masking tape, trash bags, bins, or boxes. These will help with sorting, donating, recycling, or re-routing.

• Think about what you want to accomplish by the end of the session. Do you want help with planning, working on a project you’re stuck on, or choosing a focus? My support can vary from brainstorming to planning to “sitting” with you as a body double while you process a challenging pile. There are many possibilities.

In Between and Post Sessions

• We can text or email between sessions to enhance progress and add accountability.

• With VO packages of three or more hours, I create a Project Session Journal (PSJ) for both of us to reference. After each session, you receive the updated PSJ, an ongoing record of your successes, challenges, discoveries, resources, and more. It helps reinforce the changes you are making, including building new neural pathways as you establish new habits.

• There will be doable, agreed-upon “field work” between sessions, enabling you to progress beyond our sessions.

“Virtual organizing is a flexible, creative, collaborative process.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Will Virtual Organizing Benefit Me?

Client Loyalty Program (CLP)

• This program benefits loyal clients.

• The CLP is ongoing, and I manage the program for you.

• After every 10 VO sessions, you will automatically receive $25 off your next session or package.

More Virtual Organizing Benefits

• Client Favorites – How to Know If Virtual Organizing Will Benefit You

• Shorter Sessions – Virtual Organizing Clients Make Positive Change in About One Hour

• Decisive Next Steps – What Does Your Next Step Look Like During a Virtual Organizing Session?

• Life Transitions – 9 Marvelous Ways Virtual Professional Organizers Can Help with Transitions

• Positive Changes – What’s the Value of Enlisting Help As You Make a Positive Change?

• Less Clutter – Are You Curious What’s Possible When You Hire a Professional Organizer?

• Eliminate Overwhelm – How to Ask for Help and See Proven Benefits When Stuck and Overwhelmed

Help is Here

How have you benefitted from working with a Virtual Professional Organizer? What did you like about it? Did you experience any challenges? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

I'm here for you. Do you need help getting unstuck, making a plan, decluttering, or organizing? Please email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or schedule a Discovery Call. Moving forward is possible, especially with support.

Do you resist asking for help? Maybe you’re unsure who to ask, prefer to do things yourself, or feel too overwhelmed to figure out what guidance you need. However, there are so many reasons to enlist support.

As a professional organizer, I am in the helping industry and love assisting my clients. I help overwhelmed individuals challenged by disorganization get unstuck and organized. Services can include assisting with long and short-term projects, providing accountability, editing, decluttering, designing customized organizing solutions, brainstorming, and planning.

While I like to do many things independently, I ask for help, too. Support has been incredibly beneficial for:

• Redesigning my website

• Writing and publishing a book

• Installing a new roof

• Working on boards and committees

• Trimming trees

• Creating my office space

• Hosting holiday dinners

• Caring for my parents

• Maintaining my health

• Producing my virtual workshops

• Maintaining our home

• Talking through personal and business challenges

“Having a need and needing help is not a sign that you’re weak. It’s a sign that you’re human.”

— Kate Northrup

Does this sound familiar? If so, you’re going to love what follows. You’re about to discover uplifting stories about the power and relief of enlisting help.

I invited a marvelous group of colleagues to share their personal experiences. They describe their time to ask-for-help indicators and the value of listening to those cues. These generous friends include Diane Quintana, Ellen Delap, Janet Barclay, Janet Schiesl, Jonda Beattie, Julie Bestry, Kara Cutruzulla, Sara Skillen, Seana Turner, and Yota Schneider.

My deepest gratitude goes to this inspiring group for sharing their time, hearts, and wisdom with us. I asked them to respond to and elaborate on this prompt . . .

Describe one indicator that it’s time to ask for help.

10 Best Reasons to Ask for Help

Help Indicator #1: Annoyances

“The best indicator that you should seek help is when others call attention to how often (or for how long) you've mentioned a problem. Whether it’s a tech kerfuffle or health concern, a household area in disarray, or a financial hiccup, we may not notice how much we tolerate repeated annoyances. We get used to jerry-rigged computer solutions or an aching back, sagging closet shelves, or mystery fees. But when friends or colleagues reflect back to us that we’ve repeatedly referenced a frustration that we haven't made the effort to solve, it's a clue that it's time to seek professional guidance or outside support.”

Julie Bestry, CPO® – Certified Professional Organizer, Productivity Specialist, Author &  Blogger

Help Indicator #2: Prioritization

“A solid indicator of needing help is when I’m feeling what I call ‘locked up.’ It’s challenging for me to prioritize. I start making weird little mistakes, and I’m exhausted. Physically, it feels like I’m surrounded by invisible walls. I try to get ahead of it and affirm that it’s not only acceptable to reach out for support but imperative. As someone who’s been a solopreneur for years (wearing all the hats!), now transitioning into a role with lovely people happy to help me, it’s fun - if a bit strange - to recognize I don’t have to do everything alone.”

Sara Skillen, PCC, COLC, CPO® – Director of Education, Coach, Author & Blogger

Help Indicator #3: Task Completion

“One indicator of when to ask for help is when you struggle to complete a task that you used to do easily.

In my case, I used to trim all the bushes along the front of our house. I own a power trimmer, and while trimming isn't glamorous, I was quite able to get the job done. Over the years, in spite of my trimming, the various bushes have grown, requiring me to reach higher and higher to trim the tops of the bushes. Last year, I realized that I could no longer reach high enough. I considered climbing a stool to trim the bushes, but the weight of the trimmer was hard to balance. I finally acknowledged that the job had gotten beyond my ability and brought in a third party. Yes, it cost me a bit of money, but in the end, it was the wisest, safest, and most efficient solution. 

Seana Turner – Professional Organizer and Productivity Coach

Help Indicator #4: Technology

“I know it's time to ask for help when a task takes longer than I can reasonably bill for, especially if it’s due to technical issues beyond my expertise. Recently, I added an event calendar to a client’s website, but the registration buttons weren’t working. Instead of agonizing over it, I contacted my tech support team, and the problem was fixed in under 15 minutes. Having access to experts who can help in various areas—both business and personal—saves time and reduces stress.” 

Janet Barclay – Certified Care Plans Specialist, Website Caregiver & Designer

Help Indicator #5: Emergencies

“When my clients first reach out to me for help, I often hear the expression, ‘so overwhelmed.’ I recently experienced that feeling myself. My husband had a medical emergency that landed him – and me by his side – in the ICU with no idea of how many days we would be there. For me to give him my full attention, I knew it was time to ask for help from my tribe. What burdens they lifted from me!”

 Jonda Beattie – Professional Organizer

Help Indicator #6: No Progress

“It’s time to ask for help when I remain stuck, even after reviewing the problem and creating a plan for moving forward. If I’ve done all that work and still can’t progress, I am confident I need support and will get help.

My current problem is creating and implementing a marketing plan. I am a professional organizer and a former primary school teacher, but I do not have a business background, even though I manage and run my business. It has taken many failed attempts at marketing the different aspects of my business to get me to accept that I need hands-on help. 

Diane N. Quintana, CPO-CD®, CPO® – Certified Professional Organizer, ADHD Organizing Specialist, Author & Blogger

“It’s time to ask for help when I remain stuck.”

— Diane N. Quintana

Help Indicator #7: Collaboration

“I am a born collaborator! Any task has better results and is more fun when I collaborate. Also, I know it is time to enlist help when I have reached my final level of skill and know the project needs a tweak.

An example of this is opening my Etsy shop with new content. I reached a point where I knew that the e-book needed sparkle for effective marketing and professional appeal. Fortunately, I had identified an amazing collaborator with great design skills and knowledge of opening a shop. Enlisting help not only improved the end product but also made the process run smoothly. Having this positive experience also helps me know that this is the right decision to ask for help in the future.”

Ellen Delap, CPO® – Certified Professional Organizer

Help Indicator #8: Heavy Lifting

"Asking for help and getting the help we need the way we need it can be complicated. I was wired and conditioned to be self-reliant and independent, and I like to know how things work and how to fix them. Also, specific projects provide the creative outlet I need. Still, depending on the nature, goal, and cost of a project, certain things are better addressed by those who know what they are doing. As an example, this comes to mind.

When the pandemic hit, we invited our daughter to move back home with us. Her office in New York City, where she lived, had closed, and it made no sense to stay there. Until then, we used to do the heavy lifting whenever our daughters needed to move. This time, we hired a friend and professional mover to help. The experience was not only less stressful but almost enjoyable. Could we have done it ourselves? Sure, but it would have taken much more time and placed undue stress and burden on our bodies."

 Yota Schneider, Certified Seasons of Change® Master Coach –Retreats Facilitator & Blogger

Help Indicator #9: Overwhelm

“I know it's time to ask for help when I feel overwhelmed, and sometimes it sneaks up on me. Recently, my mom's health deteriorated, which has caused many changes - big life events. As the organized sibling, I usually take the lead when things happen with Mom, but recently, I've been overwhelmed as things get added to the list of to-dos. I start worrying that I'm dropping the ball on something important.

Asking for help from my siblings and my husband has helped. We each take on tasks that fit into our schedules and lines of expertise. Keeping the lines of communication open through a text thread and phone calls is key to our efforts. We all want what's best for Mom, so my indicator of when it's time to ask for help is when I feel overwhelmed.

Janet Schiesl, CPO® – Professional Organizer, Owner of Basic Organization

Help Indicator #10: Perspective Shift

“I’ve been noticing a specific sensation: when I feel like I’m staring down a long, dark hallway without doors, it’s a sign my work or creative project is trapped in tunnel vision. I’m stuck asking, ‘How do I do this?’ when I should ask, ‘Who can help me do this?’ This reframing nudges me to clearly define my needs and the people who can help. Quickly, a new ‘who’ can illuminate the path, offer guidance, or simply encourage you to keep going – and suddenly, doors can appear.”

Kara Cutruzulla – Author, Lyricist & Project Coach

When did you recently ask for help? What benefits did you experience? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

If you feel stuck or overwhelmed and want to get organized, I’m here to help. I love supporting my clients in making progress. Contact me, Linda, at linda@ohsoorganized.com, call 914-271-5643, or schedule a Discovery Call. Your goals are attainable, especially with support.