The whole day was before me. It was my day to sit and write this post. However, instead of focusing next on writing, I felt compelled to delight in spring’s arrival. Outside beckoned me to walk in the warm air, bask in the hot sun, hear the birds chirping, and discover flowers and greenery gracing the landscape with bright spots of color. I also carried with me some ideas that surfaced during my morning mindfulness meditation. It was the combination of the practice, the week’s events, and my pull to be outside, leading me here. 

During Tony Brady’s meditation, he said, “We are doers and fixers and move impatiently from one project to the next.” I had to unpack that one. Doers and fixers? The “doer” struck me. Each day when I wake, I have a goal to do something. I rarely have a don’t-do day. The “fixer” resonated too. I recognize I don’t have to fix or solve everything. However, my tendency is to find solutions for others or myself. It’s how I’m wired.

Moving “impatiently from one project to the next,” I connected less with. I’m pretty darn patient. I like having space within a project to think, appreciate, evaluate, and readjust as I go. I never feel like I’m hurrying to that next thing. I actually don’t like to rush (or run). But Tony made me think about this.

Then he said, “We have lost the gentle art of waiting.” Those words hit me. We are accustomed to fast and instant everything. Do you remember when we used dial-up to access the Internet and how long it took? Now, if we don’t connect in a split second, we are annoyed. How about ordering from Amazon? I’ve ordered items that arrive the next day at standard free shipping. What about our conversations? Do we really listen to the person that’s talking? Or, are we thinking about what we’re going to say next before they finished speaking? 

“We have lost the gentle art of waiting.”

— Tony Brady

Tony’s statement about losing the art of waiting made me think about presence and mindfulness. Being here now. Focus on where I am and what’s happening around me. Don’t fast-forward to the next thing on my list.  It was with those thoughts that I approached this glorious spring day. Yes. I eventually wrote this post, as you can see. But before I wrote, I used most of the day for embracing spring. This included:

• Taking two walks- one by myself and the other with my husband.

• Enjoying a conversation with an adorable three-year-old kid who was happily sloshing around in a mud puddle.

• Watching geese waddle into the river and then glide along the water.

• Eating leisurely my brightly-colored salad as I sat in our greenhouse.

• Shooting photos of flowers, water, trees, and the Croton Picture Tunnel.

• Savoring the super cold Yasso fudge brownie pop as I sat in the hot sun.

• Reflecting on the two bookends of life this week as my great-nephew entered the world and my mom continues to fade.

There is doing and not-doing. There is life and death. There is being present and missing the moment. For this moment, this day, I chose to be here now. I’m also OK to wait and pause. I’m grateful for the arrival of spring, the birth of my great-nephew, being able to hold my mom’s hand, and this day. 

Is next calling you? Are you feeling content with things as they are now? What are your ideas about waiting, patience, and rushing? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

There are times each day that encourages me to pause and notice. These mindful moments prevent me from moving to that next step on my daily to-do list. They remind me that while it’s helpful to be productive and get stuff done, stopping for a gratitude or reflection break is essential too. Have you experienced this?

I have an Anna Quindlen quote displayed on my desk, which says, “I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.” I extend this idea to the quality of my days. The next step often implies taking action that will further our project or goal. That’s essential. However, we can also interpret action to include reflecting, appreciating and noticing life’s treasures.

What made my next step be a stop and notice?  There were several things I’ll share with you. I’m curious about what you’ve been noticing lately, too.

3 Ways to Embrace Mindfulness

Next Step, Spring

It’s still officially winter, but signs of spring are all around. Some days I’ve gone coatless. And considering that only a few weeks ago, we were knee-deep in snow, and with freezing temperatures, a no-coat day feels pretty darn spectacular. But the spring sign that speaks, “spring is almost here,” more than any other, is when outside of our dining room window, the first purple crocus emerges from the earth. From the time our daughters were little, they were always on the lookout for the first crocus. I remember the joyous sounds of squealing and delight when they’d see it bloom. They’d rush to tell me in excited voices, “Look, look! The first crocus is out!!!” We’d run to the window together to appreciate the change. Then we’d go outside to take a closer look at this beautiful flower.

This past week, the purple crocus appeared. I felt just as excited and hopeful to see it as I have all of these years. I went outside to admire and appreciate its beauty and sign that spring is on its way. Life will once again begin to bloom.

Next Step, Hugs

Has anyone else seen the news articles that have been surfacing lately about how people isolated because of the pandemic are spending money to visit unique farms to hug cows? Yes, cows! This wellness trend of cow hugging or koe knuffelen, which originated in the Netherlands, has made its way to the United States. Apparently, cuddling a cow can increase our oxytocin levels, which is the hormone released in social bonding.

While my husband and I have been together during the pandemic and get to hug each other frequently, we have truly missed being with our children and embracing them. This past weekend, our daughter, Allison, visited us, and before the walking, talking, cooking, or eating, we stopped and hugged. It was the best next step ever! It’s not that I forgot. I was reminded how important and meaningful physical contact is to me. It’s the simple exchange of a hug or holding hands that express love, connection, and appreciation.

“Next can mean mindfully appreciating the moment.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

Next Step, Inspiration

Walking is part of every day. I love getting outside to move and explore. I tend to be a creature of habit, which extends to my walking routes. I mix it up sometimes, but most frequently choose a path along the Hudson River. When Allison visited us, she wanted to explore another spot in Croton. We ended up at this hidden beach, which my husband and I had only been to one other time. Aside from the gorgeous east river views, the landscape was covered with driftwood, reeds, rocks, and shells in unusual patterns and colors. Visual inspiration was all around as we stopped to capture the images and as I paused to appreciate being together with Steve and Allison.

Your next step doesn’t have to equal accomplishment. Next can mean mindfully appreciating the moment. Was your next step a pause to notice? What has captured your attention recently? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Have you ever tried to create a new habit or behavior? Altering your habit cue will encourage a different result. For example, if you want to stop losing your keys, you can put a small bowl in a landing spot to catch your keys when you enter your home. The bowl becomes your new cue and helps to change your habit. No more misplaced keys because you have established a specific home where you will always find them. This sounds good, right? What happens when you successfully put your keys in the bowl for days, even months, and then one time you forget to do it? You frantically hunt for your misplaced keys and berate yourself for losing them. How do you bounce back from there? Do you give up? Do you engage in negative self-talk? Will you embrace a fresh start even after your break in continuity?

Recently, I had an upsetting experience with one of my habits. I’ve been practicing mindfulness meditation for four years. I’ve meditated almost daily with a gap here and there. For a while now, Insight Timer has been my favorite meditation app. Aside from the app offering diverse meditations and teachers to choose from, it also tracks my activity. So I know how many consecutive days I’ve meditated. To help keep me committed to my practice, I also use a daily repeat on my to-do list that cues me. 

So what happened? I intentionally deviated from my normal morning routine, including mindfulness meditation, so I could make a special birthday breakfast for my husband. My plan was to meditate later that day or at bedtime. However, the day got away from me for various reasons, and before I realized it, it was past midnight. I missed my practice that day. I’ve missed meditation practice a day or two at other times, so why was I so upset? I mentioned before that Insight Timer tracks my activity. Up until the other day, I had 390 consecutive days of practice. By missing that single day, the consecutive days counter restarted. I was so disappointed in myself. How could I have missed a day? The negative self-talk was quite insistent. And then something happened. I asked, “What lesson can I learn?” I wanted to shift my unhelpful thinking to a more positive, growth-oriented mindset.

“What lesson can I learn?”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

3 Lessons Learned From My Break in Continuity

1. It’s just a number.

Seeing the consecutive days’ number increase after each meditation gives me a motivation boost. But the reason I meditate has nothing to do with the number. I meditate to feel calmer, provide quiet space, practice focus, shift attention, and be more mindful. None of those things have anything to do with a number. I don’t meditate for the gold star or days tracked by the app. However, by missing one practice, I recognized how reliant I had become on the tracker, which wasn’t healthy.

What I know is the more I practice, the better I feel, and the more I’m able to regulate my emotions. The 390 consecutive days I practiced aren’t lost. And the meditations ahead will continue to be helpful. I reminded myself to use the tracking if it helps but recognizing it only represents a tiny part of the entire story. 

2. Understand the “what-the-hell effect.”

I recently attended a meeting with fellow Executive Mom Nest Advisor, Monica Moore, a health and fertility coach. She talked about habit change and how certain actions can derail us. Monica described the “what-the-hell effect,” a term behavioral scientists use. It’s a feeling of shame we can experience when we mess up and deviate from a habit we’ve established. For example, let’s say you committed to not eating ice cream. You successfully eliminated it from your diet. Then one day, you eat a small spoonful. Instead of stopping there, you down the entire pint thinking, “I already screwed- up, so I might as well keep going.” 

This made me think about missing my morning meditation practice. I could have gone down the “what-the-hell” path. But I rejected the ‘all or nothing’ thinking. Yes, I made one sidestep that I was unhappy about. However, I stepped back in the following day, practiced, and gifted myself a fresh start.

3. When all else fails, let go.

I woke up to face the Insight Timer app. After my morning meditation, I knew that the consecutive days displayed wouldn’t increase to 391 but would revert to just 1. Ouch. My berating began again, which wasn’t helpful. I wanted to reframe my negative thoughts. I selected one of my favorite practices, Letting Go Meditation, guided by Annemaree Rowley. Before the meditation ended, she read a poem by Erin Hanson. I love the last line, “. . . not everything you ever lose, is bound to be a loss.” How true that is. I lost consecutive day 391. However, in doing so, I strengthened my commitment to my practice, remembered my why, and let go of the negative self-talk. 

“. . . not everything you ever lose, is bound to be a loss.”

— Erin Hanson

Is it possible to embrace a fresh start, especially when your habit or goal get derailed? You always have the opportunity to begin again. When you go off course, what helps you move forward? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

We have arrived in the second week of the New Year. Are you excited about the possibilities for the next twelve months? Are you in a reflecting and planning mode? Are you contemplating how to make the most of your fresh start that each New Year brings? Or do you feel frozen or stuck? Perhaps you started this year with a solid plan and are already in pursuit. Wherever you are in your fresh process, I discovered a secret sauce that can enhance it. 

As you might know, I practice daily mindfulness meditation. I prefer guided meditations and often use the Insight Timer app, which has thousands of meditations and teachers to choose from. One of my favorite guides is Tomek Wyczesany, a scientist, meditation teacher, and author. It’s fascinating that I often hear something new while I can practice the same meditation multiple times. This happened the other day when I was working with one of Tomek’s meditations. He said, “You are the active ingredient in everything that is about to happen.” 

What a powerful statement! Let’s think about that. He’s saying that you are the secret sauce, the “active ingredient.” How do we move through life? It starts with you, your desire, idea, or motivation. It is your rumblings for action that put things in motion. 

Does it mean we are the only active ingredients? I don’t think so. For example, when I’m working with my virtual organizing clients, they are active drivers of their organizing process. However, I am supporting them with focus, clarity, or ideas. We have become an active ingredients team. 

“You are the active ingredient in everything that is about to happen.”

— Tomek Wyczesany

In another context, think about how powerful it is to recognize the concept that you are “the active ingredient in everything that you do.” That means your mindset and actions are the drivers in your life. That can be positive or negative depending upon the messages you tell yourself. If things are not going as you want, you can change the path by shifting your thoughts and deeds. 

If you are struggling with moving forward, remember that you have the ingredients to activate. If you want to create an activation team, reach out to a family member, friend, or professional organizer like me.

Are you in a fresh start mode? What helps you to activate? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.