Do you feel more stressed during the holiday season? What is the source? Holiday-related stress might revolve around travel planning, gift-giving, card-writing, decorating, over-committing, or entertaining.

As someone who enjoys and has hosted many gatherings, I continually work on reducing stress. Experience helps. The more I do something, the easier and less stressful it becomes, and the better I am at planning and navigating surprises. However, a more significant aspect is mindset. If I keep telling myself how stressed I am, what happens? I reinforce that feeling.

What is Scruffy Hospitality?

Recently, I heard about “scruffy hospitality,” which is a more relaxed approach to entertaining. It’s a practice and also a mindset. The idea is to prioritize connection and conversation over obsession with creating picture-perfect environments and Instagram-worthy meals. The concept includes having people over without cleaning up first and approaching food more simply. Instead of making elaborate dishes, ‘scruffy’ entertaining loves potlucks, leftovers, and takeout.

While “scruffy hospitality” was coined a decade ago by Jack King, an Anglican priest from Tennessee, it has received more attention in the last few years. It rejects unrealistic social media standards that create pressure on us to be “perfect hosts.” Scruffy hospitality is a nod to embracing imperfection and authenticity. These involve letting go.

For this holiday season, especially if you’re stressed, I encourage you to incorporate some ‘scruffy’ into your life. It will look different for each person. Consider how beneficial scruffy hospitality could be for reducing your stress.

As a seasoned host, ‘scruffy’ isn’t a term I naturally associate with entertaining. I like to clean and prepare. Don’t get me started on my to-do lists. I enjoy the visual aspect of decorating the tables, arranging flowers, and creating colorfully plated dishes. Those aspects aren’t stressful for me. However, those and other aspects of entertaining might be stressful for you. And if it is, some of the suggestions below can help.

11 Ways to Reduce Holiday Stress by Embracing Scruffy Hospitality

• Reframe Clean – Do a quick clean instead of a deep one. Or hire someone else to clean.
  

• Organize Less – Declutter the dining room only, leaving all other areas in their ‘as is’ state.

• Recruit Help – Ask guests to bring parts of the meal.

• Minimize Decor – There is no need to go wild. A single plant, a small vase of flowers, a bowl of fruit, or an arrangement of gourds is a minimalist way to decorate a table. You can also leave things bare.

• Be Present – Cook with your guests instead of preparing things in advance.
  

• Try Self-Serve – Set up your food buffet-style rather than as a plated, sit-down meal.

• Don’t Cook – Forget about cooking anything. Purchase the entire meal or a few dishes.
  

• Do Less - Simplify your menu with fewer choices or prepare dishes requiring minimal ingredients.
  

• Dress Down – Be comfortable and show up as you are. No fancy clothes are required.
  

• Reduce Scope – Fewer guests can make the gathering more manageable. Dial down your invite list to reflect your ideal number of guests.

• Simplify Gift Giving – Focus on clutter-less gifts for you and the recipients. Give meaningful time-centered gifts like movie tickets, museum passes, or personal care services.

“Scruffy hospitality is a nod to embracing imperfection and authenticity.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

How I’m Incorporating Scruffy Hospitality This Season

One thing I decided to do differently this year is not to bake the apple and pumpkin pies. Instead, our daughter generously offered to make pies. While I’ve always baked, removing the pie-baking task frees up some time and reduces stress around coordinating kitchen usage with my husband. We share cooking for Thanksgiving and work around each other’s schedules and tasks. No pie baking this year means I’ll eliminate the stress of negotiating for counter, oven, and refrigerator space.

The other area where ‘scruffy’ applies is the number of guests. We love having a houseful of family and friends for the holidays. However, some guests have health issues or scheduling conflicts this year. While we’ll miss them greatly on Thanksgiving, fewer guests give me more time to talk with people. Managing the flow of the space is less stressful with fewer people, too.

Human-Considered Holidays

The holidays don’t have to be stressful. There are many ways to increase joy and minimize stress. How can you relax your approach to holiday hospitality? What will help you make it more joy-filled and less stressful? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

Do you want help decluttering, organizing, brainstorming, or planning? Do you need an accountability partner? I’m here for you. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward - A local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.

As this year ends, it’s time to reflect on the past twelve months and the year about to begin. 2023 has been full of intense emotions, enriching experiences, and deep conversations on the blog. We’ve walked side-by-side, navigated turbulent waters, made new discoveries, and grappled with life balance. In these free-flowing exchanges, insights, new perspectives, and hope emerged.

Conversations

Our conversations about life balance, change, mindfulness, clutter, letting go, motivation, organizing, self-care, hope, and more have provided abundant comfort, connection, and joy. Thank you for being part of this generous community. You inspire me to show up, write, think, explore, and engage.

Gratitude

I am profoundly grateful for this community’s thoughtful words and beautiful sharing. I curated twelve of my favorite quotes of the year from active engagers, selecting one from each month’s theme. Thank you, Deb Lee, Diane Quintana, Ellen Delap, Jana Arevalo, Janet Barclay, Janet Schiesl, Jonda Beattie, Julie Bestry, Melissa Gratias, Sabrina Quairoli, Seana Turner, and Yota Schneider. You are consistent voices and participators who bring our conversations to life. I am grateful to you and everyone who reads the blog, contributes to our discussions, or shares the posts. You bring hope, light, curiosity, perspective, and learning to every day.

There have been many other conversation participators and sharers this year, including Andi Willis, Cathy Borg, Geralin Thomas, Hazel Thornton, Jill Katz, Julie Stobbe, Juliet Landau-Pope, Kim Tremblay, Laura Cullen Carter, MJ Rosenthal, Pam Holland, Phaedra Studt, Sara Skillen, and Stacey Agin Murray. Thank you for bringing richness to our conversations and for sharing your ideas.

Enjoy the year in review- one quote, insight, and revelation at a time!

12 Inspired Quotes from Our Conversations This Year That Will Make You Feel Hopeful

1. Fresh Start | How to Make Fortune Cookie Wisdom Inspire Your Fresh Start

“It really is just a question of getting started for a lot of the time. We make excuses or put up our own obstacles for why we can’t start a project or a goal. Sometimes, it’s not perfect, but you just have to jump in.”

— Jana Arevalo

2. Embrace Change | Are You Willing to Trust the Wait as You Make Your Fierce Change Journey?

“Change is inevitable. Some changes we look forward to and other changes we dread. But we all have the gift of the now and today.”

— Jonda Beattie

3. Next Step | How to Take One Next Step Now When You’re Feeling Unusually Overwhelmed

“One tiny thing is often the antidote to overwhelm and ‘Where should I start?’ Sometimes, that little thing becomes the catalyst for bigger things. Or it stays tiny but mighty and gets your thoughts and ideas (and sense of calm) flowing again.”

— Deb Lee

4. Letting Go | When Your Big Plate is Quickly Overflowing, Can You Let Go of One Thing?

“Taking that one step, letting go of that one thing, can make all the difference …
It is liberating, empowering, and often underestimated.”

— Yota Schneider

5. Clutter | What Kind of Overwhelming ‘Noise’ Does Your Clutter Actually Make?

“I think of clutter as a near-constant buzz in the background. You try to ignore it, but that takes mental resources. Silence the buzz and redeploy the resources.”

— Melissa Gratias

6. Time Management | Life Moves Really Fast, Yet Do You Appreciate the Value of a Timely Pause?

“Taking short and long breaks is vital to enjoying life.”

— Sabrina Quairoli

7. Motivation | 3 Delightful Ways to Increase Your Motivation Now

“… for me, accountability is best for professional motivation, and deadlines are better for personal (non-stress-inducing) motivation, but each of us will be different.
”

— Julie Bestry

8. Enlisting Help | 9 Marvelous Way Virtual Professional Organizers Can Help with Transitions

“It’s the ‘out of the blue’ transitions, or ones through which I am yet to tread, that are difficult. In these seasons, having others with experience makes all the difference …”

— Seana Turner

9. Mindfulness | How to Be Astoundingly Mindful, Calm, and Prepared for Your New Season

“Whatever we’re embarking on will go much more smoothly if we take the time to mindfully identify what we need in terms of human and other resources before we get started.”

— Janet Barclay

10. Possibilities | 3 Inspiring Messages of Hope That Encourage Possibilities

“Glimmers are what keep hope, possibility, and joy afloat …”

— Ellen Delap

11. Wonderfully Human | How to Joyfully Grow and Thrive When Life Feels Like Complete Chaos

“Sometimes it’s hard when you’re going through a lot to feel joyful. But hope is the light at the end of the tunnel. Without it, there is no end.”

— Janet Schiesl

12. Life Balance | 12 Hopeful and Best Loved Organizing Ideas of the Year

“All of us have so many facets to our life. Thinking about paying attention to all of them with the same focus is impossible. But when we think about intentionally bringing in a little of this and a little of that, we can create a life that works with the way we want to live.”

— Diane Quintana

These quotes were taken from our lively exchanges on the blog this year. What resonates with you? Which idea do you want to bring forward into the New Year?

How can I help make 2024 a great year? When you’re ready for support with creating a better balance, letting go of what no longer serves you, or getting more organized, I’ll be here. Contact me, Linda, by phone at 914-271-5673, by email at linda@ohsoorganized.com, or this form.

I wish you a happy, healthy, and joy-filled New Year!

We constantly receive internal and external messages. Do they help or hurt you? Have you heard of the 5:1 magic ratio? Research suggests to counteract the sticky Velcro-like negativity bias, it takes approximately five positive encounters, thoughts, or experiences for every negative one.

Consider fortifying your Personal Positivity Bank by making regular deposits. Here are a few ways to build your reserves:

• Create a “Feel Good” file with positive emails, notes, or letters you received from family, friends, clients, or colleagues:

• Keep an ongoing gratitude list

• Connect with nature

• Prioritize self-care

• Spend time with people who energize and uplift rather than drain you

• Display positive reminders in your environment

Today, I am focusing on that last one, the visible messages you see every day. I’m sharing several of my favorites below. I’ve written before about the fidget bowl on my desk. This fun collection of miniature objects combines word reminders, trinkets from places visited, old toys, and visual and tactile delights. Playing with the tiny pieces while I’m in meetings helps me focus. Having uplifting messages front and center enhances my well-being. What encouraging messages will you surround yourself with?

7 Ways the Reminders You Display Will Help You Each Day

1. Bloom Where You’re Planted

Bloom where you’re planted encourages me to embrace the growth mindset anywhere, anytime. Every encounter, action, observation, experience, success, and failure are opportunities to learn, expand, and blossom.

2. Head & Heart

Navigating life’s hiccups and choices can be stressful. “Head & Heart” reminds me to use my cognitive and sensing gifts to support positive decisions and outcomes. While not included in this purple pin, my gut is another guiding element. When I listen, it leads me with a distinct “yes” or “no.”

3. Nourish

My Word of the Year is nourish. This essential encourages me to feed my heart, mind, and body so they feel nurtured, positive, and supported to thrive. My heart wants connection. My mind needs stimulation, and my body wants loving care.

4. You Are Here

While these words are often found to locate yourself on a map, to me, they embody presence. Especially when my mind is racing, and even when it’s not, this message prompts me to pause, notice, and ground myself with where I am, what I’m doing, what I’m feeling, and what I’m experiencing. When distracted, I use these words to gently bring me back, reset, and move on.

“Fortify your Personal Positivity Bank by making regular deposits.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

5. Oy Vey!

Years ago, I gave my dad this blue “Oy Vey!” computer key. It became a favorite inside joke between us, and one of the many things that connected us was our shared sense of humor. This message reminds me that things in life have the potential to go sideways. However, my sense of humor can bring a brighter perspective and allow me to laugh at myself during difficult situations.

6. Radiate Positivity

According to the CliftonStrengths assessment, one of my top strengths is Positivity. Seeing the “Radiate Positivity” button helps me with several things:

• It reminds me to continuously develop and live from my strengths.

• My natural inclination towards positivity helps me be resilient and growth-oriented.

• Positivity is ‘catching,’ so my mood can have an encouraging effect on others.

7. Exhale the Bullshit

This new pin has quickly become a favorite. We all experience life ‘stuff’ (aka difficult situations, conflicts, threats, bullshit). During those challenging encounters, you can experience emotional hijacking. Stress triggers are sent to the amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for emotional processing. Your automatic warning system goes on high alert, and your body wants to protect you. Your heart races, your palms sweat, your face flushes, and your breathing turns rapid or shallow.

“Exhale the Bullshit” reminds me to take a deep breath through my nose and a longer exhale through my mouth. Repeating that several times, I soothe my system, access the rational part of my brain, and am better equipped to respond calmly to the circumstance.

How does having positive visual reminders help and influence your day? What helpful messages are in your view? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

There are times each day that encourages me to pause and notice. These mindful moments prevent me from moving to that next step on my daily to-do list. They remind me that while it’s helpful to be productive and get stuff done, stopping for a gratitude or reflection break is essential too. Have you experienced this?

I have an Anna Quindlen quote displayed on my desk, which says, “I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.” I extend this idea to the quality of my days. The next step often implies taking action that will further our project or goal. That’s essential. However, we can also interpret action to include reflecting, appreciating and noticing life’s treasures.

What made my next step be a stop and notice?  There were several things I’ll share with you. I’m curious about what you’ve been noticing lately, too.

3 Ways to Embrace Mindfulness

Next Step, Spring

It’s still officially winter, but signs of spring are all around. Some days I’ve gone coatless. And considering that only a few weeks ago, we were knee-deep in snow, and with freezing temperatures, a no-coat day feels pretty darn spectacular. But the spring sign that speaks, “spring is almost here,” more than any other, is when outside of our dining room window, the first purple crocus emerges from the earth. From the time our daughters were little, they were always on the lookout for the first crocus. I remember the joyous sounds of squealing and delight when they’d see it bloom. They’d rush to tell me in excited voices, “Look, look! The first crocus is out!!!” We’d run to the window together to appreciate the change. Then we’d go outside to take a closer look at this beautiful flower.

This past week, the purple crocus appeared. I felt just as excited and hopeful to see it as I have all of these years. I went outside to admire and appreciate its beauty and sign that spring is on its way. Life will once again begin to bloom.

Next Step, Hugs

Has anyone else seen the news articles that have been surfacing lately about how people isolated because of the pandemic are spending money to visit unique farms to hug cows? Yes, cows! This wellness trend of cow hugging or koe knuffelen, which originated in the Netherlands, has made its way to the United States. Apparently, cuddling a cow can increase our oxytocin levels, which is the hormone released in social bonding.

While my husband and I have been together during the pandemic and get to hug each other frequently, we have truly missed being with our children and embracing them. This past weekend, our daughter, Allison, visited us, and before the walking, talking, cooking, or eating, we stopped and hugged. It was the best next step ever! It’s not that I forgot. I was reminded how important and meaningful physical contact is to me. It’s the simple exchange of a hug or holding hands that express love, connection, and appreciation.

“Next can mean mindfully appreciating the moment.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

Next Step, Inspiration

Walking is part of every day. I love getting outside to move and explore. I tend to be a creature of habit, which extends to my walking routes. I mix it up sometimes, but most frequently choose a path along the Hudson River. When Allison visited us, she wanted to explore another spot in Croton. We ended up at this hidden beach, which my husband and I had only been to one other time. Aside from the gorgeous east river views, the landscape was covered with driftwood, reeds, rocks, and shells in unusual patterns and colors. Visual inspiration was all around as we stopped to capture the images and as I paused to appreciate being together with Steve and Allison.

Your next step doesn’t have to equal accomplishment. Next can mean mindfully appreciating the moment. Was your next step a pause to notice? What has captured your attention recently? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.