Posts tagged negative self-talk
One Insightful Question to Bring a Joyful Balance into Your Life

The holidays are quite the time of year. The twinkling lights decorating the landscape cue us to this season of giving, celebrating, and reflecting.

You might be finishing this year’s projects or beginning new ones to continue in the new year. While joy-inducing opportunities are abundant, balancing the holidays, work life, personal plans, and life maintenance responsibilities can be stressful.

There are many ways to bring calm and balance into your life, and I’ve written extensively about them.

Recently, I read something valuable and relevant from James Clear, which I’ll share with you. I hope you find it helpful as you navigate your balance this season.

 

 



First, The Back Story

Are you familiar with James Clear’s “3-2-1 Thursday” newsletter? Each issue includes three of his short ideas, two quotes from others, and one question to consider. One of my clients told me about it, and I signed up immediately. I enjoy receiving his weekly wisdom in its easily digestible format.

 

  

Two Simple Rules

In a recent newsletter, Clear shared this:

“Two simple rules:

  1. You get better at what you practice.

  2. Everything is practice.”

He encourages observing yourself and others to notice what we’re practicing. He reminds us that where you focus is a choice. For example, are you practicing…

  • “Getting mad on social media?”

  • “The fine art of noticing how they have been wronged?”

  • Stressing over being stressed?

  • Saying “yes” to the point of being overscheduled?

  • Not following through on commitments?

  • Engaging in negative self-talk?

  • Not sleeping enough?

  • Accumulating more stuff?

 

 

One Insightful Question

Bringing awareness to your practices is essential for changing where your time and energy go. Clear asks, “What are you practicing?”

Do you want to “get better” at nourishing practices? If so, focus on those while reducing harmful ones.

What are you practicing?
— James Clear

Here are several of my recent practices:

 

Which Practices Will Bring You More Balance?

You have an opportunity to create a better balance this season. What will you focus on during the last few weeks of the year? Which practices can you let go of that no longer serve you? Which ones do you want to invite in?

You have choices. I’m excited to see how this idea can shift your balance. I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 

 

How Can I Help?

Do you want support decluttering, organizing, planning, or creating more balance? I’d love to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – A local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization, balance, and ease are possible, especially with support.

 
 
How 3 Useful Changes Can Make Positive Differences in Your Life

Proactive change is a fascinating thing. It’s the type of change you seek when you desire a shift in your life. You might have identified an area you want to improve, a behavior you want to stop, or a wish you want to manifest. You are ready for a transformation but may feel overwhelmed with where to begin or what to focus on. Change is possible through desire, small steps, and support.

This week, I attended the educationally stimulating ICD Virtual Conference, “Shining a Spotlight on ADHD.” There were three terrific speakers- Melanie Sobocinski, PhD, PCC, Sharon Saline, Psy.D, and Ari Tuckman, PsyD, MBA. They shared a wealth of information. I’m focusing on three ideas I learned about change that I thought would be especially helpful.

 

3 Useful Changes

1. Task Activation

Have you ever wondered why a task isn’t happening? In Melanie Sobocinski’s presentation, Mastering the ADHD Trifecta to Manage Task Salience, she said the key to activation hinges on using strategies in three areas:

  • High Interest – May need to be boosted or toned down

  • Urgency – Can be overused, but can be beneficial when used in small doses

  • Other People – Can provide support, including focus and problem-solving, or can be an obstacle if it erodes the client’s autonomy

Task activation can be improved by understanding which elements are interfering. While Melanie shared excellent strategies for each area, there was one for High Interest that caught my attention.

To boost “Interest,” you can introduce novelty with a micro-change. Melanie shared a worksheet by Casey Dixon, PCC, who defines micro-change as “the smallest possible change you can make to have a task or solution feel new again.” These tiny changes will “catch your brain’s attention and help a task feel fresher and more rewarding, without creating utter chaos.”

Use Micro-Change to Introduce Novelty

  • Try a new tool or resource, such as a new app.

  • Change your location or placement of objects, like working at a coffee shop.

  • Select a new color for writing with or on.

  • Use a new sound for alarms.

  • Adjust your position or lighting by walking during a call or switching the lighting intensity.

 

2. Confidence Formation

Have you ever felt nervous, anxious, or lacked confidence in social situations? Are you curious about one strategy that can change your experience? In Sharon Saline’s presentation, Strategies and Solutions for Social Anxiety in Neurodivergent Adults, she described social anxiety disorder as a “debilitating fear or judgment, humiliation, or rejection.” There can be a “disconnect between how a person actually appears to others and their own exaggerated perception of themselves.”

Sharon delved into Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), Perfectionism, and Imposter Syndrome. One of the strategies she offered when discussing Imposter Syndrome was to develop and name your “inner ally.” Negative self-talk can run rampant. Call upon your inner ally to provide support, compassion, and belief when you’re feeling nervous, doubtful, or ruminating with unhelpful thoughts. Sharon calls her ally “Tina Trailblazer.” What name will you give yours? What words of support will they offer?

While I haven’t named my ally or identified her as such, I have relied this year on my 2024 motto to lift me when I run into a challenge. Her voice says, “You got this.” Those words help me get over myself and move forward with confidence. After learning about the inner ally concept, I feel inspired to give my ally a name.

Yes starts the process of change; Yet keeps it going.
— Sharon Saline, Psy.D.

3. Sleep Foundation

Do you get enough sleep? Is that an area of your life you want to change and improve? Ari Tucker’s presentation was ADHD Makes Sleep Worse – And We Probably All Need More Sleep. He said, “No one is bringing their A-game after a bad night of sleep.”  

Lack of sleep negatively impacts mood, efficiency, effectiveness, focus, and attention. Consider how you feel after good or bad sleep days. There are many solutions for sleep deprivation, which include establishing a consistent bedtime, limiting caffeine, minimizing kid and pet disruptions, or stopping naps. For more strategies, read Ari’s ADDitude article, 9 Sleep Deprivation Solutions for Adults with ADHD.

While there are numerous ways to address good sleep hygiene, Ari suggests focusing first on quantity. If you establish the ‘right’ number of sleep hours you need, the quality of your sleep will probably be fine. If the quantity of sleep is good and you’re still having sleep challenges, then it’s worth investigating your sleep quality. Talking with a doctor who can advise about any medical challenges affecting your sleep could be beneficial.

Small changes in your sleep habits can significantly improve your daily experience.  

Partial progress is still progress.
— Ari Tuckman, Psy.D.

Which ideas resonated with you? Are there areas of change you want to focus on? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

If you want guidance with the changes you desire, I’m here to help. Please email me at linda@ohsoorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or click here to schedule a Discovery Call. Change is doable, especially with support.

 
When Your Fresh Start Begins with One Small, Courageous Step

It takes courage to move forward when you’re overwhelmed, unsure of where you’re headed, or confused about what to do next. However, as you bravely take that one tiny action in the face of uncertainty, this will propel your fresh start.

The beginning feels murky at best when you’re stuck and not moving anywhere. With movement, what is unknown quickly becomes visible. Amazingly, one step encourages more because it builds momentum.

 

Getting Unstuck

I discovered this beautiful John Muir quote. He said, “And into the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soul.” This brings forth many ideas. Taking a walk “into the forest” or anywhere offers an opportunity. Walking is movement in action. The physicality of motion goes beyond the benefits your body experiences. As arms swing, feet advance, and the breath deepens, you are filled with aliveness and energy. This movement encourages possibilities and a “can do” attitude.

If your walk happens to be in nature, there are additional benefits that surrounding yourself in a green environment brings. It can

  • Reduce stress

  • Boost mood

  • Enhance creativity

  • Increase concentration

  • Improve sleep

Walking can get you unstuck. There is such significance in taking that first step and then another.

 

Letting Go

The next part of Muir’s phrase, “to lose my mind and find my soul,” illustrates other ideas. I connect losing “my mind” to letting go. Instead of focusing on negative, unhelpful thoughts or holding onto things and ideas that no longer serve you, release them. Be present.

Connect with something deeper within, your “soul.” Find the courage to let things unfold. See the wonder in what is here now.

I arranged a surprise birthday weekend for my husband a few weeks ago. What was the surprise? Our kiddos and their partners came home to celebrate and share several beautiful days together. One of the things we did was walk down our block, through the woods, and to the Croton River. I love walking, and doing this with my family made me happy!

Feeling supported in my hiking shoes, I noticed each step as my feet connected with the ground. Walking helped me release the to-dos and projects occupying real estate in my mind. I had several upcoming project deadlines that I was thinking about. I knew the work could wait. I was thrilled to have everyone home and have time with the crew. A thought adjustment was needed.

To do this, I focused on the sounds of my loved ones’ sweet voices. I watched them energetically walk as they meandered into different pairs and groupings. I felt their loving presence as we held hands and connected. Into the forest we went- walking, talking, laughing, listening, photographing, and watching.

 

It takes courage to move forward when you’re overwhelmed.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Small Step

Choose your next tiny step to get you unstuck. Will you move your body to create momentum? Will you talk with a trusted friend or loved one to download your thoughts? Will you take one small step on your big project to bridge the gap between planning and action? What tiny, courageous step will you make to set your fresh start in motion?

If you feel stuck and overwhelmed or find it challenging to determine your next step, I’d love to help. Please email me at linda@ohsoorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or click here to schedule a Discovery Call. Let’s work together so things can flow.

 
How to Gracefully Let Go When the Universe Sends You a Clear Message

Do you ever feel like the universe sends you a message you need to hear? It happened to me this week. Interestingly, what I received related to the letting go theme I’m writing about this month.

You might have read about last week’s letting go mishap when I accidentally deleted my entire email inbox. I recovered, only to be challenged by another ‘adventure’ this week. It’s a doozy! Clearly, the universe thinks I need more letting go practice.

Midweek, I woke up with 500+ other neighbors to the surprise of no Internet or phone due to “cut fibers.” Our service provider assured me it would be fixed within 24 hours, which seemed reasonable. However, I was on a deadline. I was putting the finishing touches on a Zoom workshop being presented the following day. While I had no choice in the technology glitch (it happened and was being worked on,) I did have a choice in how I responded.

There was some initial panic, where I engaged in numerous “what if?” scenarios.

  • What if it’s not fixed in time and I can’t present my workshop?

  • What if I can’t access the information I need to compile my notes?

  • What if the calm day I planned is turned upside down?

  • What if…?

After the panic, technology assessment, and the realization that I could do nothing at that moment, I started letting go. I talked calmly to myself so I could switch gears and put my energy toward completing my workshop notes. I couldn’t afford to have my attitude sabotage the day. Instead, I focused on what I could work on. I let go of what I had no control over, did some creative problem-solving, and stopped the worry-stress-negative self-talk-loop.

I went to Starbucks in the afternoon for Internet access and a much-needed coffee break. I checked a few resources for my notes and caught up on email. I sat by the river and walked down the block to smell the fragrant lilacs. These actions kept me calm and focused.

Let go of what you have no control over.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

By the evening, I finished my workshop notes and made alternate plans for presenting if I had no Internet the next day. I also realized how much more I accomplished without interruptions or distractions from the Internet, social media, and the phone.

Are you curious about what happened? When I woke the next day, the Internet and phones were restored. I gave my workshop, which went well, with good attendance and participation. Can you hear my giant exhale?

Life is full of surprises and curve balls. You can’t anticipate when they’ll arrive or what they’ll be. But as always, you do have a choice in how to respond. You can get stuck and paralyzed by the emergency or let go to allow focus, resilience, creativity, and growth to thrive.

How does letting go show up in your life? I’d love to hear your stories and thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.