Do you create obstacles for yourself before embarking on the next step? These might include a list of self-imposed pre-requirements before you can take the next step or tackle a new project.

Perhaps your goal is spring cleaning and organizing. While that’s a great goal, instead of beginning the process, you set parameters that make it nearly impossible to take the next step.

For instance, you prefer tackling this project in big time blocks rather than shorter, focused sessions. However, your life commitments and energy levels aren’t conducive to organizing three, four, or five hours at a time.

As a result, what happens? Things stagnate because you don’t have large swaths of time to move your project forward. You frontloaded the project with an obstacle that closed your mind to alternative solutions and experimentation.

Does this sound familiar?

What Are Toxic Preconditions?

A few weeks ago, I discovered the term “toxic preconditions” in Oliver Burkeman’s newsletter, The Imperfectionist. He learned this concept from James Horton, a social scientist who questioned why people who want to write more don’t.

Horton observed that some aspiring writers had “misguided beliefs” that might have seemed helpful but undermined their confidence, causing them to write less or not at all.

Burkeman says that what’s behind toxic preconditions is “the strong desire we have for some kind of guarantee – before we embark on a new activity, or even allow ourselves to relax into life – that it’ll all unfold safely and securely, that we’ll retain the feeling of being in control.”

He advocates how freeing it is to let go of that need for a “guarantee.” Burkeman says, “Getting past toxic preconditions is less a matter of being willing to step into the unknown than of realizing that you’re already in the unknown.” He goes on to say, “You never had control; all you had was anxiety.”

“Do you set parameters that make it nearly impossible to take the next step?”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Letting Go of Toxic Preconditions

There are three aspects for releasing toxic preconditions:

1. Observe – Notice when you are putting up obstacles to the extent that you can’t move toward your goal or next step.

2. Accept – Acknowledge there are no guarantees. Instead, move forward with curiosity, openness, and a willingness to experiment.

3. Release – Let go of any preconditions that are toxic. Be willing to take that next step without first doing a, b, c, d, or e. Go forth without all the i’s dotted and t’s crossed.

I want to re-establish my daily walking habit. In the past months, I put up obstacles based on the weather, which I can’t control. I won't walk every day if I’m only willing to walk when it’s warm and sunny. I’ve been telling myself, “It’s too cold.” Or, “It’s too dreary.” If, instead, I adjust the parameters, like the length of a walk, wearing more layers, or walking inside instead of out, I’ll be more likely to reach my daily walking goal.

“Getting past toxic preconditions is less a matter of being willing to step into the unknown than of realizing that you’re already in the unknown.”

— Oliver Burkeman

What’s On the Other Side of Toxicity?

Let’s face it. Life has challenges. However, how often do you create obstacles and make things more complicated than necessary? If you tend to hinder your progress, I encourage you to explore new options. Release those toxic preconditions that aren’t serving you. Experience more movement, flow, and success.

Have you encountered toxic preconditions in others or yourself? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

How Can I Help?

Do you want support organizing, editing, planning, or working on that next step? I’d love to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Figuring out next is possible, especially with support.

You might wonder how baking cookies relate to encouraging change or getting organized. At first glance, they may seem unrelated. However, a funny thing happened recently, which is how I made the connection. I tested out a new cookie recipe from Amy Bowers, my friend who is a Health Coach. To ensure the best outcome, I used the specific ingredients she recommended, including almond butter, coconut sugar, and my favorite, dark chocolate chips.

A successful change journey also requires distinct ingredients. One, in particular, is crucial.

Essential Ingredient to Encourage Change

There are different types of change. Some changes we proactively seek, and some changes happen unexpectedly. There is an ingredient that is valuable for both. Successful change hinges on your choices and the decisions that follow.

Choice and decisions are not one but two things. However, I see them as a connected unit, so I’m offering them as one helpful ingredient.

When you seek change, you desire something different. You may want to establish a new habit, create more organization, or design your next stage of life. Desiring is one thing. That aspect is crucial because it provides your motivation and why. But desire alone isn’t enough.

To encourage actual change, you have many choices. Recognizing those choices is crucial. Identifying them is the thought part. Pairing a choice with a decision is the action part. A dynamic choice-decision-making cycle is vital for change to occur.

The Ingredients Of Practice

Let’s return to my cookie-baking analogy.

The choices went something like this:

• Is this recipe enticing enough to test, or not?

• Is it a recipe I can make on my own, or not?

• Do I have the ingredients, or will I have to buy some?

• Do I have the time to bake the recipe today or sometime in the future?

Nothing would have changed if I stopped after asking those questions and didn’t move on to the decision-making phase. There would have been no baking, cookies, or new favorite recipes. However, curiosity led me to continue. I couldn’t stop thinking about the enticing cookie photo Amy posted on Instagram.

The decision-making cycle looked like this:

• I carefully read the recipe and determined it was easy and well within my baking skills.

• I had most, but not all, of the ingredients.

• I looked at the time needed. It included going to the grocery store for the items I didn’t have, assembling the ingredients, and baking. I had the interest, ability, and time to test the recipe that day.

The cookies were baked, and they were incredibly delicious. They were so yummy that it was challenging to stop eating them. That’s a story for another day. If you want the recipe, email me at linda@ohsoorganized.com, and I’ll happily share it, or you can see Amy’s post for the details.

“Successful change hinges on your choices and the decisions that follow.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

The Change You Seek

We’re in the second month of this new year. What changes are you working on? How are they going? Are you noticing your choices, making decisions, and taking action? Are you moving forward on your own or enlisting help?

Change happens when you repeatedly identify the choices, make decisions, and take action. You can bring about the change you crave through questioning, doing, readjusting, and staying curious.

If you want assistance with any part of the change process, I’d love to help. Please email me at linda@ohsoorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or click here to schedule a Discovery Call. Change is possible, especially with support.

The newest release (v39) of the “What’s Interesting?” feature has my latest finds, which inform, educate, and relate to organizing and life balance. These unique, inspiring, embracing change discoveries reflect this month’s blog theme.

You are a generous, communicative, and engaged group. I am deeply grateful for your ongoing presence, positive energy, and contributions to this community. I look forward to your participation and additions to the collection I’ve sourced.

What do you find interesting?

What’s Interesting? – 5 Best Embracing Change Discoveries

1. Interesting Read – Life Change

Do you want more happiness in your life? In The Fun Habit – How the Pursuit of Joy and Wonder Can Change Your Life, behavioral scientist, organizational psychologist, and author Mike Rucker, Ph.D., shares how happiness is a state of mind which can feel elusive and dependent upon your circumstance. Yet fun is action-oriented and something within your control. He says, “In contrast to happiness, I’ve come to learn fun is less think and more do. You’re either having fun or you’re not.”

Backed by research and personal experiences, Mike shares ways to be intentional about fun. While he is not opposed to striving, he says, “instead of auditing your calendar for productivity, audit it for fun.” Use the PLAY model to identify and sort activities based on their level of challenge and degree of fun. Create your “fun file” to document and prioritize your fun habit. This book is for you if you’re ready to change and add more delight to your life. Mike says, “We don’t get through life without enduring periods of disappointment, pain, and loss. Fun is the magical balm that makes the slings and arrows bearable.”

2. Interesting Perspective - Slow Change

Change can happen quickly, but more often, it occurs slowly after percolation and transition. During a recent talk, Todd Henry, author, speaker, and creative thinker, described “how ideas tend to come in seasons, not moments.” He started to say, “there is a slow emergence.” Instead, he accidentally combined the words and said, “there is a slowmergence.” A new phrase was born.

Todd further described slowmergence and said, “We tend to think that ideas are sudden clicks, or a-ha’s, but they more often emerge as networks and patterns over time until one inciting incident illuminates what’s been developing for days or weeks.”

I often see this with my clients when they are seeking change. While it might appear as if a change is happening suddenly, it usually has been simmering for a long time. There can be an “inciting incident,” as Todd mentions, that brings clarity and action.

“Fun is the magical balm that makes the slings and arrows bearable.”

— Mike Rucker, Ph.D.

3. Interesting Film – Navigate Change

Recently, I had the joy of privately screening Kate Schermerhorn’s incredible award-winning documentary film, Do I Need This? The film is about “American excess and the stuff from which happiness is truly made.” While the stats are compelling, with American homes containing an average of 300,000 objects, or 93% of Americans using their garages for storage, this film explores so much more.

Kate shares about the environmental impact of our stuff while weaving in her family’s story and personal experiences of acquiring and letting go. These themes are supported by interviews including the leading expert in Hoarding Disorder, Dr. Randy Frost, Plentitude author and economist Juliet Schor, and artists and environmental activists Judith Selby Lang and Richard Lang.

Change is another theme in the film. We witness shifts in relationships with people and their stuff. Dr. Frost recognizes how “possessions often have an essence for us.”  That “essence” can make it challenging to release. Kate said, “I just want to hold onto the past while simultaneously letting go.” This film is an honest, beautiful journey about openings for change and the impact of stuff on our lives and the planet.

4. Interesting Product – Easy Change

There are times while going through a change when you wish it were “easy” or “done already.” There’s nothing like adding some humor to a stressful situation. Knock Knock has a great way of infusing playfulness into their organizing products.

The I Just Want It All pad brings whimsy and order to task and change management. You can select the options quoted above along with the third choice, “dipped in chocolate,” and then list your things to do below. The bottom of the pad asks, “Is that so wrong?” I think not. Change can be challenging, but with this list, you’ll be able to focus with a smile.

5. Interesting Thought – Accept Change

Change can be messy and challenging. It involves doing new things, altering habits, reframing perspectives, and stepping outside your comfort zone. You will make mistakes, experience adversity, feel vulnerable, practice new skills, and test your patience. It’s normal to have some “oops” moments along the way. In fact, it’s a great sign which is a change indicator. Embrace the mistakes. They will bring growth, learning, and the changes you seek.

Do you have an interesting change discovery? Which of these resonates with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Have you ever tried to build a new habit, make a change in your life, or learn something new? Think of one of those times. Did you go it alone? Or did you have help and support? For most of us, when we’re doing something outside our skill set or comfort zone, reaching out for help is the secret sauce for success.

You might remember that I set a big goal to create a healthier lifestyle almost a year ago. My main objectives were to change my eating habits, exercise more, and lose weight. Could I have done this without help? Definitely not! My husband, family, friends, and Noom coaches and lessons provide support. I’m still working on my goals, and I’ve made significant progress. I’m 25 pounds lighter, feel better physically, and am more flexible and energetic.

The ‘Noom lessons’ help me tremendously. The app sends me daily articles that deep dive into the psychology of weight loss, provide encouragement, include practical advice, and describe ways to maintain a healthy lifestyle. One piece of Noom’s wisdom that resonated with me was “Practice makes progress.”

Notice it doesn’t say ‘practice makes perfect,’ a familiar phrase. Because what or who is perfect?

I love how the practice-makes-progress concept encourages experimentation and ongoing action. Practice infers something you are working on and supports a growth mindset. It allows space for success, failure, and learning. Progress inspires incremental change.

“Practice makes progress.”

— Noom

I recognize how instrumental enlisting help is for achieving my goals. My organizing clients also experience these benefits. I love being on their support team.

Some ways I help my virtual organizing clients are to:

• Define realistic goals

• Experiment with new habits

• Declutter and organize their things, thoughts, time, and space

• Create maintainable organizing systems

• Integrate accountability

• Reflect on the changes they are making

• Navigate overwhelm, backsliding, frustration, and discovery

• Celebrate their progress and success

We focus on small, consistent, gradual change. My clients practice new habits, experiment with organizing systems, shift their perspective, and make progress. It’s genuinely inspiring to see their positive changes.

What changes are you actively working on? Do you have help? Do you need help? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.