Life encompasses an array of emotions. We experience joy, sadness, fear, anger, surprise, love, and many nuanced emotions. We can change our state of being by altering our actions, breath, or thoughts. Switching gears amid powerful emotions can be challenging. However, it’s possible. Bringing mindful awareness to what you’re feeling and doing is one path to get there. With that awareness, opportunities to experience more happiness will increase.

When you live in the land of ‘wishing,’ you’re focused on someday. While it’s essential to dream and future-think, this can detract from current experiences. You can miss opportunities for happiness and mindful moments if you’re too intent on what will be versus what is going on now.

I’m a quote collector. I have several favorites on my desk, including one from Walt Whitman. His thoughts beautifully weave a connection between happiness and mindfulness. He said, “Happiness, not in another place but this place…not for another hour, but this hour.”

What does Whitman’s message encourage? It reminds me that happiness is always available to us. You don’t need to postpone joy for some future time when your project is complete, or goals are reached. It’s possible to experience happiness as part of your daily journey. Develop a mindful awareness of what is happening now and what senses you are noticing.

“Happiness, not in another place but this place...not for another hour, but this hour.”

— Walt Whitman

Which recent experiences made you happy? Here are a few of mine:

• Seeing the bouquet of yellow-orange flowers in the purple vase

• Feeling the cooler fall air on my skin

• Smelling the pine-scented sachet in my dresser drawer

• Eating a delicious frozen dark chocolate dipped banana pop

• Hearing the sound of my husband’s voice on the other end of the phone

• Picking fresh basil from my mini-garden for my salad

• Walking along the Hudson River

• Folding the clean laundry

• Taking a yoga class

• Sweeping the front path

• Learning from Nest Advisor colleagues

• Watching the birds enjoy the birdbath in our backyard

• Engaging in deep conversations with my friends, family, clients, and colleagues

• Creating images and a promo video for my upcoming clutter workshop

Tiny happiness moments are accessible and can be enhanced when you pause to savor them. What are you noticing? How do mindfulness and happiness show up in your life? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Having an array of emotions is part of being human. There are no good or bad ones. However, at times, our strong emotions can make clear thoughts challenging. In fact, some emotions like anxiety, sadness, or fear can cause procrastination or completely zap our motivation.

When the amygdala, the primitive, emotional region of the brain, becomes the boss, it creates a cycle that activates the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight.) The good news is many self-help strategies are available to help switch your internal gears from fight or flight to the rest and digest, parasympathetic nervous system mode.

When calmer, you can more readily access the pre-frontal cortex, a part of the brain that helps with decision-making, organization, attention, planning, emotional regulation, and impulse control. In this more relaxed state, you can reset and access the motivation to move forward.

Recently, I attended a meeting with fellow Nest Advisor, Monica Moore, a health and fertility coach. She led a workshop on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT.) The four-step process is helpful when making behavioral changes. ACT encourages working towards a value rather than avoiding something. In other words, focus your energy on something positive you want to be or do instead of on something negative you wish to avoid.

The ACT process:

1. Identify a value. Who or what do I want to be?

2. Identify feelings. What “yucky” feelings get in the way?

3. Identify relief valves. When you feel these things, what behaviors occur?

4. Create a nourishment menu. What behaviors will feel helpful, sustainable, and give perspective when experiencing the “yucky” feelings?

Your nourishment menu is where self-help strategies thrive. For example, when feeling anxious, you might engage in negative self-talk, binge-watching, or eating sugar-heavy snacks. What if you acknowledged and noticed those feelings when you felt anxious and instead, engaged in more helpful behaviors from the nourishment menu? Below are some suggestions. I’d love to know which of these or other ones work best for you.

20 Self-Help Strategies - Nourishment Menu

• Journal

• Meditate

• Take a walk

• Change your setting

• Organize or clean

• Create boundaries

• Breathe slowly

• Get a massage

• Hug a loved one for at least 20 seconds

• Run or exercise

• Watch leaves flutter

• Light a scented candle

• Use humor

• Rest

• Read

• Pet your dog or cat

• Listen to or play music

• Take a shower or bath

• Help someone else

• Talk with a friend, family member, or professional

I had a recent anxiety-inducing experience when I inadvertently deleted the most current 45 days of emails from my inbox. After long calls with tech support at Apple and Carbonite, it became clear that the emails might be retrieved, but not without many more hours spent with tech support and possibly worse complications.

A tech hiccup is never convenient. My plans to accomplish a lot that day were derailed because of the anxiety inability to focus. At a point, I decided to let it go and not retrieve the emails. However, I was still anxious and not functioning well. My emotions were in high gear, and my brain was foggy. So what did I do?

“Your ‘nourishment menu’ is where self-help strategies thrive.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

I grabbed my journal and wrote. As the inky pen glided along the smooth paper, my heart beat rapidly, and my stomach was in knots. I wrote about the ‘gone’ emails, my anxious feelings, the power they had to deactivate my motivation, the shift in my emotional state of feeling calmer as I wrote, and the choice to let this go and move on. I noticed my environment (birds chirping, trees swaying), took several deep breaths, and shifted gears to write about positive memories from the mini vacation we just had.

After journaling, I met a dear friend for a walk along the river. We talked, laughed, and I shared the email saga with her. Not knowing about the nourishment menu at the time, I realized after how I had used several of these strategies to calm my anxiety, let go, and reset.

What self-help strategies work for you when your strong emotions take over? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.