Posts tagged happy
How to Create Your Happy Life Balance Using Circles of Influence & Control

A while back, I received an email from Soren Gordhamer, an entrepreneur and founder of the Wisdom 2.0 Conference. He wrote,

“Two things are pretty clear:

 We have limited heartbeats in this life.

 And

 We never know when our last heartbeat will be.”

If that’s not a call to be intentional and focus on what matters most, I don’t know what is. When thinking about creating a better, happier life balance, framing it in the context of our limited time can help.

Are you spending time and emotional energy on things that are within or out of your control? Are you stressing about ‘what ifs, shoulds, and if only?’  Or are you focused on those things that are doable, bring you joy, and make life flow better?

You have choices, which is a good thing.

 

  

Circles of Influence and Control

This idea of limited time connects to another concept I was recently reminded of in To Do – 41 Tools to Start, Stick With, and Finish Things by Mikael Krogerus and Roman Tshchappeler.

They shared a Steven Covey concept from his classic book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It is the“circles of influence and control” technique to “help whenever we feel ineffectual, powerless or frustrated.” It’s also an excellent exercise for infusing better balance and focus into your days.

 

How to Create Your Circles – What You Can and Can’t Change

As the illustration below shows, draw three concentric circles.

1. Outer: Circle of Concern

  • Anything you have no control over belongs in the “concern” circle.

  • List several “things that bother you but you can’t do anything about.” Examples include:

    • Past events

    • The political climate

    • Natural disasters

    • Other people’s flaws

 

2. Center: Circle of Control

  • List several things you have agency over. These could be:

    • What you eat

    • Amount of sleep you get

    • People you hang out with

    • Amount of organization you have

    • Books you read

    • Movies you watch

  • Some might seem trivial, but they significantly influence our lives. Add these to your “control” list.

There’s immense power in knowing which things in our lives we can and can’t control.
— Mikael Krogerus and Roman Tschappeler

3. Middle: Circle of Influence

  • Include here things that aren’t in your control, yet you might be able to influence through your attitude or behavior. For example,

    • It’s impossible to “single-handedly avert climate change, but you can do something about it by living sustainably.”

    • You cannot “change your genes, but you can exercise regularly and eat more healthfully.”

    • You have no power over circle of concern events. However, you can influence or change your reaction to them.

 

 

How Does This Exercise Help?

The more you focus on those things you have no control over (circle of concern), the “more helpless and ineffectual you’ll feel.” However, when you focus on what is within your control (circle of influence and circle of control,) “the more confident and less anxious you’ll be.”

This exercise can heighten your awareness of how you’re spending your precious time. Focusing on areas you have agency and influence over can tip the balance in a more positive direction.

 

 

A Balanced Life Approach

You only go around once. How can you balance your days to include those things within your control and influence? What can you improve? What can you let go of?  I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

Do you want help decluttering, organizing, planning, or finding a right balance for you? I’d love to help and I’m here for you. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – A local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization, balance, and ease are possible, especially with support.

 
 
How "Time Confetti" is Devastating Your Leisure Time and Ways to Solve It

When you read “leisure time,” what thoughts come to mind? Are you thinking, “What leisure time? I don’t have any free time!” Does downtime feel absent from your life because you’re constantly working, stressing, and feeling overwhelmed? If so, you’re not alone.

In 2014, Brigid Schulte, an award-winning journalist and bestselling author, introduced “time confetti” in her book Overwhelmed: Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time. Time confetti refers to fragmented pieces of free time that happen during the day. These moments are too brief to be productive or meaningful, and they spoil the downtime we do have.

Time confetti are “short, unenjoyable moments that end up stressing us out rather than relaxing us.” Frequent interruptions are typically due to technology or multitasking. Even if a disturbance seems minor, it reduces the quality of time off, which can lead to a feeling of constant busyness without a sense of accomplishment.

 

 

What is the Antidote to Time Confetti?

Strategies to balance the effects of time confetti revolve around reducing distractions and valuing and creating larger blocks of leisure and downtime. Some of Schulte’s suggestions include:

  • Identify where time gets spent

  • Prioritize what matters, including more leisure activities

  • Lessen digital distractions

  • Stop multitasking

  • Delegate and share household responsibilities

  • Schedule and protect leisure time

  • Shift perception of busyness and success

 

What Does Leisure Time Look Like?

Several years ago, I jotted down a list that I rediscovered recently called “Help for those who do too much.” What’s interesting is it doesn’t specify what not to do. Instead, it focuses on creating more time to enjoy life. The list is relevant to this discussion, so I included it.

Siblings - Tod Machover and Linda Samuels

Help For Those Who Do Too Much:

  • Taking time off

  • Biking

  • Connecting with family

  • Kayaking

  • Going to the beach

  • Sleeping

  • Waking up naturally (no alarms)

  • Losing track of time (no watches)

Schedule and protect leisure time.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

In the spirit of leaning into more downtime, I reserved two full days of fun this past weekend, which was so welcome.

Intentional Leisure Time Activities

  • Spending time with family

  • Exploring Manitoga, the house, studio, and 75-acre woodland garden of the mid-century designer Russell Wright

  • Having a picnic

  • Celebrating Father’s Day with my husband (Happy Father’s Day to all the Dads!)

  • Going on a day trip

  • Taking a scenic train ride in the Catskills (ice cream included)

Happy Father’s Day!

If your days and downtime are disjointed and overwhelming, gift yourself a present of being more intentional and protective of your leisure time. Eliminate distractions that disrupt your focus. Time is precious. Yes, we need to work and handle life’s necessities. We also need balance to the busyness and overwhelm that many of us feel. What helps you carve out downtime? What do you enjoy doing? What gets in your way? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

If you want help organizing your time so you can enjoy life more, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or schedule a Discovery Call.  A life including downtime and fun is possible, especially with support.

 
What Astounding Growth and Change Can Happen When You Make Time?

When you have a dream or a goal, do you wish it would happen instantly? You want to wave a magic wand, and poof, it’s done. However, most pursuits require time and commitment. A wand won’t get you there.

Patience has become a rare commodity in our fast-paced, always-on, readily accessible world. While you can find the answer to a question in seconds by doing a Google search, most aspects of life require a more substantial time investment.

When you make time to pursue what’s important, you will experience growth, changes, and feelings of satisfaction and joy.

Since time is limited, choosing what’s important to pursue is essential. Understanding and investing the time needed to ‘get there’ will help you focus on your goals. Several things happened recently related to investing time, which I’ll share with you.

5 Ways Prioritizing Your Time Can Lead to Growth and Change

1. Nurturing Time

A few weeks ago, my husband, Steve, and I were gifted three beautiful hydrangea plants. Steve prepared the bed where they would be planted before they could be dug in. It wasn’t easy work, but he did it. Thank you, Honey!

The plants will eventually grow to be about three feet tall. To flourish, they’ll need watering every few days. Each day, I check to see how they’re doing. If they need water, I drag out the hose to hydrate them. Seeing more new growth and bright blueish-purple blooms appear daily makes me happy.

With this investment of physical labor, water, sun, patience, and time, visible growth and change are happening before my eyes. What a gift.

The hydrangea is a literal example of how nurturing something brings growth and change. How can you adapt that idea to other aspects of your life? Time investing is the common denominator, but the nurturing agent will differ.

 

 

2. Virtual Organizing Time

I love working with my virtual organizing clients. They are wonderful people who are dedicated to pursuing their goals. It’s exciting to help them facilitate change and witness their growth.

Their changes are often noticeable by the end of their 60—or 90-minute sessions, but they don’t stop there. Growth and change continue weekly, monthly, and beyond. Regular accountability check-ins and tweaks help them stay on track. These shifts show up as changes in perspective, space, or feelings. Confidence and self-esteem improve, obstacles get removed, clutter is released, letting go happens, priorities are focused on, and achieving their goals becomes the norm.

I am so proud of my clients for investing in themselves, prioritizing what’s most important to them, and scheduling the time to pursue their goals one hour, day, and month at a time. Progress is noticeable when you make a time investment.

 

 

3. Workshop Time

One of my goals several years ago was to develop and sponsor my own Oh, So Organized! workshops. Creating and presenting was the easy part. Figuring out the technology, back-end stuff, and marketing felt daunting. I invested time and energy to bring this goal to fruition.

Since October 2022, I created, presented, and sponsored five Oh, So Organized! workshops. The most recent one, How to Let That Sh*t Go, was last week. What a great group we had! One section was about letting go of time-related things (distractions and boundaries) that aren’t serving you.

To reach my workshop goal, I had to overcome the fear of doing it wrong. Instead, I leaned on curiosity, experimentation, and my belief in continual learning. Each workshop taught me something new, helped me refine the process, and allowed me to remain open to change.

I’m grateful to the people who helped and encouraged me. While I invested time and resources, I could not have reached this goal alone.

I leaned on a people to . . .

  • Listen to me, ‘think out loud’

  • Share valuable insights

  • Give advice

  • Answer questions

  • Provide technical support

  • Broaden my understanding of options

  • Troubleshoot

  • Promote the workshops

  • Participate in the workshops

  • Provide feedback

Taking one step at a time, reaching out for help, and being willing to get it wrong led me to this point. Fear is no longer part of the equation. Instead, I’m excited for each new workshop. My next one will be this fall.

 

Progress is noticeable when you make a time investment.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

 

4. Professional Time

NAPO-NY Area Golden Circle Group - Back row (left to right): Karen Caccavo, Linda Samuels, Jocelyn Kenner - Front row (left to right): Susan Kranberg, Brenda Kamen, Andrea Bowser, Klara Carames, Amanda Wiss

In 1999, the then-president of the NAPO-NY chapter asked me if I’d be willing to start a NAPO Golden Circle Group for the New York area. She noticed that the veteran organizers weren’t participating as regularly in the chapter events and meetings. Her sense was that if we created an opportunity for the seasoned organizers to get together, it might reignite their engagement.

As I was already volunteering with NAPO Golden Circle nationally, developing and leading a local group interested me. Guess what? I said, “Yes.” We held our first meeting in April 1999 and continued to grow and lead the group for eight years.

The group has had many leaders since, and it’s still growing. I enjoyed attending the first in-person Golden Circle gathering since pre-pandemic this past weekend. My friend and colleague, Jocelyn Kenner, hosted us at her house. We shared advice, asked questions, ate, laughed, and invested time in each other, our businesses, and our industry. Based on the number of years in business, collectively, we had over 150 years of organizing knowledge and experience. Talk about a time investment!

I wouldn’t have guessed that the volunteer time given and the commitment I made 25 years ago would still be producing fruit. I am grateful for all the leaders and members who have kept this group growing and thriving.

 

 

5. Big Goal Time

Then there are those big, audacious goals. Some remain as ideas and dreams, while others manifest. When I was very young, one of my big goals was to have my own business. While I dabbled in many things from an early age, it wasn’t until January 1993 (over thirty years ago) that I launched my organizing company, Oh, So Organized! Without investing my time, money, and sweat equity, I wouldn't be here now.

Recently, I had the joy of being interviewed by the fabulous Janet Barclay about my organizing background, educational journey, and organizing industry growth. Our conversation reaffirmed my belief that big goals can happen. You will reach your big goals using small blocks of time and focusing on your priorities.

What have you noticed about your time investments? What types of goals have you realized? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

If you want help organizing your time so you can reach your goals, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or schedule a Discovery Call.  A life focused on what matters most is possible, especially with support.

 
3 Time Management Strategies That Will Make Your Life More Happy

When you think about how you manage time, do you consider the “happy” factor? It’s a given that you have 24 hours each day. How you use and feel about that time is where life gets interesting. With some minor tweaks, you can enhance the quality of your life by shifting your perspective and actions.

Happiness is not always considered when it comes to time management, yet it’s a powerful element to integrate.

Before I share three helpful time management strategies, let’s look at some common phrases to describe time and how you experience it.

Common Time Phrases

This first list of expressions reflects stress, frustration, and anxiety about the limitations and passage of time. Some common sayings are:

  • Running late

  • Behind schedule

  • On the clock

  • Not enough hours in the day

  • Time waits for no one

  • Time is of the essence

  • Lost time

  • Pressed for time

  • Time-sensitive

  • Killing time

  • Wasting time

  • Running out of time

  • Lost track of time

  • Living on borrowed time

  • Out of time

This second list of phrases describes positive feelings about time, highlighting enjoyment, appreciation, and making the most of every moment. These expressions include:

Which phrases resonate most with you? Do you often experience stressful time-related situations, as reflected in the first list? Are more of your time-related encounters positive, like the phrases on the second list? Or are your encounters with and relationship to time somewhere between the extremes?

 

3 Time Management Strategies for a Happier Life

The time strategies described below can increase your happiness wherever you are in your relationship with time.

1. Happier Boundaries

What happens when you have few or no boundaries? Without boundaries, everyone else’s priorities come first. And you know what that means? Yours come last, if at all. You end up saying “yes” to things you wish you said “no” to. As a result, you might feel resentful, angry, frustrated, or annoyed.

Learning to set boundaries is a core time management skill. I continually work on boundary-setting because I didn’t understand that skill growing up. On the contrary, I learned how NOT to set boundaries. But I digress.

My insightful friend, colleague, and Professional Organizer Julie Bestry always shares excellent resources on her Paper Doll blog. She also has a great sense of humor. Her recent post, “52 Ways to Say NO to a Request So You Can Say YES to Your Priorities,” includes fabulous boundary-setting strategies.

To illustrate one of Julie’s points, she shares a 30-second YouTube clip from the TV show Friends. In the segment, Joey asks Phoebe if she wants to help assemble Ross’s furniture. Phoebe matter-of-factly says, “I wish I could, but I don’t want to.” Wow! What a clear (and hilarious) example of setting boundaries and saying no.

While Phoebe’s response to Joey’s request might not work for you, the idea behind it is worth considering. There are many ways to set boundaries, and learning to say no when you want to (whatever the reason) is essential. Knowing that skill lets you focus on your top priorities and what matters most.   

Learning to set boundaries is a core time management skill.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

2. Happier Activation

Now that you excel at boundary setting (yes, you!), your attention can focus on your most important people, projects, and tasks. However, while you cleared your schedule and said no to several requests, you’re having difficulty beginning your work.

The project you want to do, you can’t make progress on. You might need to plan, research, enlist help, gather resources, or take other actions. You’re thinking about how much time it will take to finish. Feelings of overwhelm are taking over. It all feels too big. How are you going to complete this or get started?

Let’s say it. You can’t do it all at once, so don’t expect that you will. Instead, let small time blocks be your ‘activation’ friend. Merge the concept of small blocks of time with an actual timer, and you’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish.

Activation Strategy:

  • Review your calendar

  • Select a day that has availability

  • Select a small amount of time, such as 10, 20, or 30 minutes you commit to your project

  • Set the timer for those minutes

  • Work until the buzzer dings

  • Stop working

  • Check on how you’re doing – Are you done for the day? If so, schedule another day to repeat the process. Or do you want to work for another ‘x’ number of minutes? If so, reset your timer now to continue working. When the buzzer dings, repeat the last two steps.

During the past month, I’ve been preparing my latest workshop, How to Let That Sh*t Go. The small blocks of time strategy helped me progress and prepare to lead the workshop on June 6th. If you or someone you know wants to learn more or register, click here: https://www.ohsoorganized.com/workshops.

You will feel happier attending to what’s most important and meaningful. However, progress will not happen without the ability to activate. When you use small blocks of time effectively, you’ll handle things high on your agenda.

Let small time blocks be your ‘activation’ friend.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

 3. Happier Connections

Pausing in your day to savor one of life’s simple pleasures is an excellent time management strategy to enhance your happiness. If you are constantly on the go, consider integrating “Fika,” a Swedish practice.

Fika embodies the Swedish values of work-life balance, social interaction, and relaxation. Practicing Fika involves taking a short break, typically in the afternoon. People slow down, socialize, and build relationships. The break often includes coffee or another beverage and a small treat like pastries, cookies, or sandwiches.

The other day, I tried a variation of this with my husband. We skipped the beverage part and visited our local store, The Blue Pig. We sat, talked, and ate espresso chip ice cream cones with chocolate sprinkles. It was time well spent.

Which time management strategies bring you the most happiness? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

If you feel time-challenged, reach out to Linda, me at linda@ohsorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or schedule a Discovery Call. A life focused on what matters most is possible, especially with support.