Posts tagged perfectionism
3 Ways to Joyfully Prepare for a Compassionate Holiday Season

Are you feeling the fast whoosh of time passing with the holiday season arriving, the elections looming, and the year ending? It’s a lot to take in. You may feel overwhelmed. Perhaps you’re thinking about what goals you wanted to accomplish this year, the time left to do it, and what is actually possible.

Maybe your thoughts are occupied with ‘regular’ life maintenance to-dos plus hundreds of holiday-related tasks, including gift shopping, holiday meal prepping, guestroom readying, travel planning, and family and friends’ gatherings.

Breathe. You’re human, and you’re juggling many things.

I often say that life is in the joyful doing and presence of the moment. And while that’s all well and good, when you’re stressed and overwhelmed, accessing that presence can be more challenging.

With so much going on with work and family, externally and internally, this time of year, making tiny adjustments is helpful. Infusing compassion and mindfulness into your thoughts and actions will encourage a more joyful, fulfilling, and happier holiday season.

I offer you a thought, question, and strategy to help.

 

 

3 Ways to Prepare for a Compassionate Holiday Season

1. One Thought: “We don’t have to be perfect.”

Let’s remove the idea of perfection from the holiday season. Why impose more pressure, stress, or unrealistic expectations on yourself or others?

Try channeling your perfectionism energy differently. Focus your energy on one of these options instead:

As the Noom app said about overcoming thought distortions, “…it’s about recognizing that we don’t have to be perfect. We’re human.”

Which reframe of perfectionism (one suggested or something else) is helpful for you?

Breathe. You’re human, and you’re juggling many things.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

2. One Question: “Am I putting myself in good positions and creating the conditions for success?”

One of my favorite recent discoveries is James Clear’s weekly 3-2-1 email, which my client told me about. The idea he wrote about last month feels relevant and worth sharing.

Clear wrote, “Forget about the outcome and focus on what precedes it.” He asks, “Am I putting myself in good positions and creating the conditions for success?”

Consider Clear’s question in the context of which actions and thoughts you can focus on to create a joyful, compassion-filled holiday season. They might include:

What will you choose to focus on to create a positive holiday season?

We don’t have to be perfect.
— James Clear

3. One Strategy: “Accept help.”

Do you tend to do everything yourself? Perhaps you don’t want to impose on others. Or, Seth Godin suggests you might think, “Doing the tasks is more efficient than coordinating the help.” Either philosophy results in you doing all the work, which can lead to resentment and exhaustion. Neither of those is a recipe for happy holidays.

Whatever the season, enlisting and accepting help improves your life. We’re human and benefit from the support and interactions with others. What type of help will benefit your life and infuse more ease? Who can you ask for help? How will that change your experience? If you’re having guests over and they offer to help, lean in and say “Yes.” Have tasks ready to delegate. It will make them feel comfortable and reduce pressure from your list.

Godin says, “It’s much more productive to accept help. When we have a project, part of the work is to enlist others in figuring out how to make the change we seek.”

Let me know if you’re stressed and need a thought partner, decluttering and organizing guide, planning help, or accountability buddy. In my virtual organizing sessions, I offer one-hour focused sessions, ongoing support, and personalized guidance to help you with your goals and challenges. I’m available and am ready to help.

 

 

Human Holiday

Do you know the 1953 movie Roman Holiday, starring Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck? This season, I encourage you to embody a Human Holiday.

  • Let go of what you can.

  • Invite in what you want.

  • Enlist the help you need.

For a less stressful and happier holiday season and beyond, I’m here to help. Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.

Here Are Today's Most Interesting and Best Possibility Discoveries - v47

This is the newest release (v47) of the “What’s Interesting?” feature, with my latest finds that inform, educate, and relate to organizing and life balance. These unique, inspiring possibility discoveries reflect this month’s blog theme.

You are an engaged, vibrant, and generous group. I am deeply grateful for your ongoing presence, positive energy, and contributions to this community. I look forward to your participation and additions to the collection I’ve sourced.

What do you find interesting?

 


Consistent action will create the possibilities you desire.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

What’s Interesting? – 5 Best Possibilities Discoveries

1. Interesting Workshop – Decluttering Possibilities

Are you overwhelmed by clutter? If so, you’re not alone. One in four people have clutter challenges, which can affect anxiety levels, relationships, and ability to focus. What would be possible if you had a path forward?

I’m thrilled to offer this popular one-hour live Zoom workshop, How to Conquer Clutter, on October 17th from 7:00-8:00 pm Eastern. Discover where clutter comes from, why it’s so hard to let go, and what you can do about it.

You’ll come away with manageable clutter-reducing strategies, energizing possibilities, and powerful insights. Reserve your spot today!

  

 

2. Interesting Read – Completing Possibilities

Are you a great starter yet have difficulty finishing? You get 95% done and then feel challenged completing that last 5%.

Finish – Give Yourself the Art of Done by best-selling author and speaker Jon Acuff says he used to think people’s biggest challenge was the fear of getting started. While he recognizes that the “beginning is significant,” the “finish” matters more.

Through workshops and research, Acuff discovered that “what it takes to really finish are so counterintuitive that most of them will feel like shortcuts.” He said the “less that people aimed for perfect, the more productive they became.”

Working harder isn’t the answer. Embracing and becoming tolerant of imperfection is a “key factor in turning chronic starters into consistent finishers. Chronic starters quit the day after perfect.”

Finish is filled with valuable reframes and strategies. For example, you might think the opposite of perfectionism is failure. Acuff suggests, “It’s not. The opposite is finished.”

Does completion seem more possible now?

 

   

3. Interesting Resource – Selling Possibilities

Do you have digital devices like cell phones, computers, CDs, DVDs, games, and other tech equipment you no longer want? Do you need help disposing of them responsibly and efficiently? A possibility is here!

Decluttr is an excellent resource for helping you recycle and make some cash. Decluttr will buy your old devices and tech items that are broken or in working condition. They make it easy with this three-step process:

  • Sell It – Get an instant price for your tech.

  • Send It – Send your stuff for free.

  • Spend It – Get paid by direct deposit or PayPal.

In addition to buying tech items, Decluttr also buys and recycles college, school, textbooks, and children’s books.

 

  

4. Interesting Product – Focusing Possibilities

I love getting things done as much as the next person. However, what happens when you have so much to do that you feel overwhelmed and stuck? One possibility is to reduce the scope.

Using this cute “Today’s Top Three” mini list from Noted by Post-It®, you can narrow your focus to only three items. What? Just three, you say? Yes! Rein it in. Pick three doable tasks you can make progress on today.

You'll feel confident in what is possible when you take small actions and experience progress. Which will be your top three for today?

 

 

 

5. Interesting Thought – Imagining Possibilities


If things are the want you want them to be, that’s OK. Each day presents an opportunity to imagine, dream, and engage in what’s possible.

While thinking is essential to moving forward, it’s only the beginning. Thought plus action equals progress. Consistent action will create the possibilities you desire.

Let today be the start of what’s possible.

 

Can you share one possibility-related discovery? Which of these resonates with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

Do you want help getting unstuck, reducing overwhelm, getting organized, and focusing on possibilities? If so, I’m here for you. Contact me, Linda, at linda@ohsorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or schedule a Discovery Call. Progress is possible, especially with support.

 
 
How 3 Useful Changes Can Make Positive Differences in Your Life

Proactive change is a fascinating thing. It’s the type of change you seek when you desire a shift in your life. You might have identified an area you want to improve, a behavior you want to stop, or a wish you want to manifest. You are ready for a transformation but may feel overwhelmed with where to begin or what to focus on. Change is possible through desire, small steps, and support.

This week, I attended the educationally stimulating ICD Virtual Conference, “Shining a Spotlight on ADHD.” There were three terrific speakers- Melanie Sobocinski, PhD, PCC, Sharon Saline, Psy.D, and Ari Tuckman, PsyD, MBA. They shared a wealth of information. I’m focusing on three ideas I learned about change that I thought would be especially helpful.

 

3 Useful Changes

1. Task Activation

Have you ever wondered why a task isn’t happening? In Melanie Sobocinski’s presentation, Mastering the ADHD Trifecta to Manage Task Salience, she said the key to activation hinges on using strategies in three areas:

  • High Interest – May need to be boosted or toned down

  • Urgency – Can be overused, but can be beneficial when used in small doses

  • Other People – Can provide support, including focus and problem-solving, or can be an obstacle if it erodes the client’s autonomy

Task activation can be improved by understanding which elements are interfering. While Melanie shared excellent strategies for each area, there was one for High Interest that caught my attention.

To boost “Interest,” you can introduce novelty with a micro-change. Melanie shared a worksheet by Casey Dixon, PCC, who defines micro-change as “the smallest possible change you can make to have a task or solution feel new again.” These tiny changes will “catch your brain’s attention and help a task feel fresher and more rewarding, without creating utter chaos.”

Use Micro-Change to Introduce Novelty

  • Try a new tool or resource, such as a new app.

  • Change your location or placement of objects, like working at a coffee shop.

  • Select a new color for writing with or on.

  • Use a new sound for alarms.

  • Adjust your position or lighting by walking during a call or switching the lighting intensity.

 

2. Confidence Formation

Have you ever felt nervous, anxious, or lacked confidence in social situations? Are you curious about one strategy that can change your experience? In Sharon Saline’s presentation, Strategies and Solutions for Social Anxiety in Neurodivergent Adults, she described social anxiety disorder as a “debilitating fear or judgment, humiliation, or rejection.” There can be a “disconnect between how a person actually appears to others and their own exaggerated perception of themselves.”

Sharon delved into Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), Perfectionism, and Imposter Syndrome. One of the strategies she offered when discussing Imposter Syndrome was to develop and name your “inner ally.” Negative self-talk can run rampant. Call upon your inner ally to provide support, compassion, and belief when you’re feeling nervous, doubtful, or ruminating with unhelpful thoughts. Sharon calls her ally “Tina Trailblazer.” What name will you give yours? What words of support will they offer?

While I haven’t named my ally or identified her as such, I have relied this year on my 2024 motto to lift me when I run into a challenge. Her voice says, “You got this.” Those words help me get over myself and move forward with confidence. After learning about the inner ally concept, I feel inspired to give my ally a name.

Yes starts the process of change; Yet keeps it going.
— Sharon Saline, Psy.D.

3. Sleep Foundation

Do you get enough sleep? Is that an area of your life you want to change and improve? Ari Tucker’s presentation was ADHD Makes Sleep Worse – And We Probably All Need More Sleep. He said, “No one is bringing their A-game after a bad night of sleep.”  

Lack of sleep negatively impacts mood, efficiency, effectiveness, focus, and attention. Consider how you feel after good or bad sleep days. There are many solutions for sleep deprivation, which include establishing a consistent bedtime, limiting caffeine, minimizing kid and pet disruptions, or stopping naps. For more strategies, read Ari’s ADDitude article, 9 Sleep Deprivation Solutions for Adults with ADHD.

While there are numerous ways to address good sleep hygiene, Ari suggests focusing first on quantity. If you establish the ‘right’ number of sleep hours you need, the quality of your sleep will probably be fine. If the quantity of sleep is good and you’re still having sleep challenges, then it’s worth investigating your sleep quality. Talking with a doctor who can advise about any medical challenges affecting your sleep could be beneficial.

Small changes in your sleep habits can significantly improve your daily experience.  

Partial progress is still progress.
— Ari Tuckman, Psy.D.

Which ideas resonated with you? Are there areas of change you want to focus on? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

If you want guidance with the changes you desire, I’m here to help. Please email me at linda@ohsoorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or click here to schedule a Discovery Call. Change is doable, especially with support.

 
Here Are Today's Interesting, Best Next Step-Related Discoveries - v34

The newest installment (v34) of the “What’s Interesting?” feature has my latest finds informing, educating, and relating to organizing and life balance. These are unique, inspiring, next-step-related discoveries that reflect this month’s blog theme. 

You are a generous, communicative, and engaged group. I am deeply grateful for your presence, positive energy, and contributions to this community. I look forward to your participation and additions to the collection I’ve sourced.

What do you find interesting?

 

What’s Interesting? – 5 Best Next Step-Related Discoveries

1. Interesting Read – Positive Self-Talk Next

Is the voice in your head your biggest cheerleader or harshest critic? Does it guide you forward or prevent you from figuring out next? In Chatter – The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It, psychologist Ethan Kross shares strategies based on behavioral and brain research. He helps us understand how to quiet the negative self-talk and create a positive internal conversation. Kross says, “…when the inner voice runs amok and chatter takes the mental microphone, our mind not only torments but paralyzes us.”

Kross provides a few dozen tools for “helping people resolve the tension between getting caught in negative thought spirals and thinking clearly and constructively.” They include engaging in mental time travel, changing the view, writing expressively, creating a board of advisors, seeking awe-inspiring experiences, and increasing exposure to green spaces.

One strategy that especially resonated with me is creating order in your environment. Helping clients get organized for almost 30 years, I’ve seen the positive benefits of calming the internal chatter when the external environment is organized. Kross says, “Find your own way of organizing your space to help provide you with a sense of mental order.”

 

 

2. Interesting Assessment – Get Unstuck Next

Let’s face it. Universally, we all get stuck at some point. It can be challenging to figure out the next step when that happens. Be stuck no more. I created this handy, custom-designed Get Unstuck Wheel, and you can spin your way forward. Discover the strategy that works best for you. There are 36 ideas to try, including taking deep breaths, sleeping on it, reaching out for support, and switching gears. What helps you get unstuck? Did you spin the wheel? If so, where did it land?

 

 

Take the smallest, tiniest next step.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO


3. Interesting Article  – Perfectionism Insights Next

Do you or someone you know have perfectionist tendencies? If you want to struggle less, read Ashley Broadwater’s HuffPost article, “There Are 3 Types of Perfectionism. Which Category Are You?” Broadwater describes each type and some helpful coping strategies. Therapist Emily Simonian encourages her clients to focus on small, next steps. She said, “A perfectionist of any type will likely want a ‘big win’ quickly if trying to recover from perfectionism, but baby steps are key. … [Recovery] is very much attainable with practice.”

  • Self-oriented perfection – You expect the best from and are extremely hard on yourself. Practicing self-care and self-compassion can help.

  • Other-oriented perfectionism – You expect others to be a certain way and become upset when they don’t meet your expectations. Practicing gratitude and mindfulness is beneficial.

  • Socially prescribed perfectionism – You rely heavily on others’ thoughts about how you act or look and fear rejection. Strengthening your positive inner voice will help. This could be an excellent time to read Chatter (see #1 above.) 

 



4. Interesting Season – Get Organized Next

As color returns to the landscape, daylight lasts longer, and temperature becomes warmer; this is an inspirational time of year. Spring is a wonderful season to set your organizing goals, declutter the extraneous, and create the calm you deserve. Change is possible, especially with support. Struggle no more. Enlist help from a compassionate and non-judgmental friend, family member, or professional organizer like me. I’m here to help. Discover the benefits of virtual organizing and why my clients love it so much. Call 914-271-5673, email me at linda@ohsoorganized.com, or click the “Let’s talk!” button to schedule a discovery call. 

  

5. Interesting Thought – One Small Step Next


You want to declutter and organize your entire house, redo your filing and paper management systems, organize all of your photos and visual media, or change your organizing habits. However, these projects feel so large and overwhelming that you keep them as thoughts in your mind. No action gets taken because you feel stuck. It’s good to have the entire picture in your mind for what you want to achieve. However, you don’t have to know the whole plan. Take the smallest, tiniest next step. That is enough. Once that step is taken, acknowledge your progress and repeat the process. Continue taking action one little step at a time. 

What are your interesting, next step discoveries? Which of these resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.