A while back, I received an email from Soren Gordhamer, an entrepreneur and founder of the Wisdom 2.0 Conference. He wrote,

“Two things are pretty clear:

 We have limited heartbeats in this life.

 And

 We never know when our last heartbeat will be.”

If that’s not a call to be intentional and focus on what matters most, I don’t know what is. When thinking about creating a better, happier life balance, framing it in the context of our limited time can help.

Are you spending time and emotional energy on things that are within or out of your control? Are you stressing about ‘what ifs, shoulds, and if only?’  Or are you focused on those things that are doable, bring you joy, and make life flow better?

You have choices, which is a good thing.

Circles of Influence and Control

This idea of limited time connects to another concept I was recently reminded of in To Do – 41 Tools to Start, Stick With, and Finish Things by Mikael Krogerus and Roman Tshchappeler.

They shared a Steven Covey concept from his classic book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It is the“circles of influence and control” technique to “help whenever we feel ineffectual, powerless or frustrated.” It’s also an excellent exercise for infusing better balance and focus into your days.

How to Create Your Circles – What You Can and Can’t Change

As the illustration below shows, draw three concentric circles.

1. Outer: Circle of Concern

• Anything you have no control over belongs in the “concern” circle.

• List several “things that bother you but you can’t do anything about.” Examples include:

  • Past events

  • The political climate

  • Natural disasters

  • Other people’s flaws

2. Center: Circle of Control

• List several things you have agency over. These could be:

  • What you eat

  • Amount of sleep you get

  • People you hang out with

  • Amount of organization you have

  • Books you read

  • Movies you watch

• Some might seem trivial, but they significantly influence our lives. Add these to your “control” list.

“There’s immense power in knowing which things in our lives we can and can’t control.”

— Mikael Krogerus and Roman Tschappeler

3. Middle: Circle of Influence

• Include here things that aren’t in your control, yet you might be able to influence through your attitude or behavior. For example,

  • It’s impossible to “single-handedly avert climate change, but you can do something about it by living sustainably.”

  • You cannot “change your genes, but you can exercise regularly and eat more healthfully.”

  • You have no power over circle of concern events. However, you can influence or change your reaction to them.

How Does This Exercise Help?

The more you focus on those things you have no control over (circle of concern), the “more helpless and ineffectual you’ll feel.” However, when you focus on what is within your control (circle of influence and circle of control,) “the more confident and less anxious you’ll be.”

This exercise can heighten your awareness of how you’re spending your precious time. Focusing on areas you have agency and influence over can tip the balance in a more positive direction.

A Balanced Life Approach

You only go around once. How can you balance your days to include those things within your control and influence? What can you improve? What can you let go of?  I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

Do you want help decluttering, organizing, planning, or finding a right balance for you? I’d love to help and I’m here for you. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – A local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization, balance, and ease are possible, especially with support.

There will always be tasks to do, projects to complete, and calls, texts, or emails to return. These can be motivation drivers. However, they can also derail and de-motivate. You can burn out when you’re constantly doing and striving without breaks or spaciousness.

Do you feel overwhelmed by your to-do lists, incomplete projects, and things you ‘should’ be doing?

I’ve been there, as have many of my clients, family, and friends. Surprisingly, one antidote to doing too much is to slow down. This may seem counter-intuitive and a strange way to boost motivation. However, it’s not just about taking a break from your list.

Make time to savor life and engage in restorative activities that replenish your energy.

Savoring Life

What works will be different for each person. For me, savoring and slowing down include:

• Getting enough sleep

• Meditating

• Refusing to rush

• Going away and changing my environment

• Practicing yoga

• Spending time with family and friends

• Having alone time

• Journaling

• Showering

• Being on or near water

• Getting a massage or pedicure

• Eating juicy summer fruit

• Slowing sipping an iced coffee or tea

• Sitting in the sun

• Exploring new places

• Setting boundaries

• Leaning into and being present in the moment

A Japanese Concept

Do you know about yutori? According to DailyOM™, yutori is “a Japanese concept of spaciousness. It refers to slowing down to simply breathe, and savor life – intentionally creating space to relax and reflect without being under constant pressure.”

How would integrating yutori into your life benefit you?

Motivation Cycles

I’m a doer and a completer. I love setting goals and accomplishing them. The first six months of this year were especially active. And guess what? I needed a break from that intensity, which I knew the summer would bring. My pace is slower even though I’m still actively working with organizing clients and on several projects.

This summer, I intentionally created more space for restorative, nourishing activities in addition to work. My latest motivation-restoring adventures include going to the beach, exploring new museums, listening to live music, and eating a delicious treat.  

“Make time to savor life and engage in restorative activities that replenish your energy.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

4 Ways to Restore Motivation

1. Being by the Sea

Waves in. Waves out. The sound of the ocean waves moving forward and backward along the sandy shore is soothing. The sun warms my skin as slight breezes and cool water prevent me from overheating. By the sea, there is no agenda, no lists to take care of. Time stretches as I wiggle my toes in the sand.

2. Exploring New and Old Places

My husband and I visited the Queens Museum and Flushing Meadow Corona Park this weekend.

The Queens Museum is located on the Flushing Meadow Corona Park grounds, where the 1939 and 1964 World's Fairs were held. I was there 60 years ago for the World’s Fair and have spotty yet happy memories of going with my family.

Steve and I walked the grounds, marveled at the 700,000-pound stainless steel Unisphere, talked about our childhood World’s Fair memories, and were wowed by the Panorama, a scaled cityscape model of the five New York City boroughs.

The exploration didn’t end there. We ventured on to another area of Queens.

3. Learning and Listening

Our next stop was the Louis Armstrong House Museum. We had a wonderful tour of his house, explored the museum, and, in Armstrong’s garden, heard a fantastic jazz quartet with Jon-Erik Kellso playing the trumpet.

It reminded me how much I love hearing live music. I grew up in a house full of musicians. People were always playing, practicing, learning, teaching, composing, jamming, and performing. Watching and listening to musicians share their gifts is so joyful. I had a positive, visceral response to being outside and hearing live music.

Louis Armstrong lived his life with passion, purpose, and generosity. It was moving and inspiring to be in his space, hear stories about his life, and listen to musicians embodying this rich tradition of jazz music.

4. Eating a Delicious Treat

The exploratory day was completed by dinner at a fantastic local Italian restaurant in Queens. However, before dinner, we ate dessert. It’s fun to shake things up sometimes.

Steve brought me to the famous Lemon Ice King of Corona to get ices. I was so excited! What’s not to love about a cold, refreshing dessert? The hardest part was choosing which flavor to get. They have over 50 options, although lemon ice is their most popular. They don’t mix flavors but will let you try one before you decide.

I ended up choosing cantaloupe ice, which was amazing! Steve got chocolate, which was also delicious. After dinner, we almost returned for seconds but were too full. We’ll return another time.

Motivation needs to be cultivated. Slowing down, savoring life, having new experiences, and giving yourself a break from life’s pressures is a great way to do that. What helps you restore your motivation?

If you need help restoring motivation and getting organized, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or schedule a Discovery Call. Reaching your goals is possible, especially with support.

What is it that you expect of yourself and others right now? What can you let go of? Have you noticed a lot of ‘shoulding’ going on? As in, “Now that I have extra time, I should be organizing my entire house,” or “Now that I’m not working, I should be learning a new skill,” or “Now that I’m self-isolating, I should be pushing myself to get a lot more done each day.” Do any of these sounds familiar? I am guilty as charged. 

Last week, I shared with a friend that I never got to the things that I intended to do that day. Instead, my day included meditation, a yoga class, a walk by the river, and baking. Those were my essentials. However, I felt guilty that I should have been doing other things or more things. My friend reminded me of something she heard on a Practicing Human podcast. These were such welcome, affirming words.

“Allow yourself to have the kind of day you need to have, and without judgment.”

I’ve taken that message to heart, especially the “without judgment” part. In this time of stress and uncertainty, it’s kinder to extend gentleness. Like you, I am doing my best to keep it together. Each day we receive news about radical shifts and changes to daily life, loved ones dying, overwhelm that is paralyzing, and all types of grief.  Yet we put one foot in front of the other. We keep breathing. We find ways to soothe, cope, and carry on.

To be honest with you, the post this week was going to be something else altogether. But the message my friend shared kept playing over and over in my head. 

“Allow yourself to have the kind of day you need to have, and without judgment.”

I took that to heart. Yesterday included meditation, a Zoom call with our kids, a magnificently long walk with my husband in a nearby wooded sanctuary, and writing this post. What I needed this day was to connect with my family and nature and to write a shorter post.

What is it you need? How will you give yourself the day you need, judgment-free? What will you let go of? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.