There are times when life goes sideways. The unthinkable happens, and you feel you have no control over anything. Your mood is dark, and hope is barely accessible. Cognitively, you understand there are no guarantees in life and that chaos is present. Yet, how do you cope? What can you do when nothing makes sense, and things feel out of control?

I don’t pretend to have the answers or know what you’re experiencing. I’m navigating this challenging time, too. Yet, I have a few strategies that are helping me, which might be helpful to you.

Instead of focusing on the areas you have no control over, shift your attention. Identify and engage in what is nourishing and within your control.

5 Courageous Coping Strategies When Life Feels Out of Control

1. Supercharge Your Self-Care

Take care of yourself. During stressful times, you might ignore the basics. However, doing that makes you feel worse and less able to cope with challenges.

Recommit to self-care basics. Get enough sleep, hydrate, eat nutritiously, and move your body. Walking in nature has additional mood-boosting benefits.

Beyond essential self-care, consider getting a massage, manicure, or pedicure. Or how about taking a yoga, exercise, or meditation class?

Be kind to yourself and engage in intentional, mood-enhancing activities within your control.

“Recommit to self-care basics.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

 2. Engage With Your Community

You might want to retreat when feeling out of sorts. However, I encourage you to do the opposite. Reach out to those who are also feeling ‘it.’ You’re not alone.

Your friends and family may be struggling, too. Connect with your loved ones. Pool your strengths while offering and receiving support.

3. Curate the Input

Scrolling social media, listening to the news, and fueling the fire may not be the healthiest choice. Cut yourself off (even if temporarily) when the external input you’re allowing adds to those out-of-control feelings.

Just as I encouraged you to eat nutritious foods to nourish your body, do something similar for your mind. Curate the input to minimize anxiety-producing thoughts and maximize ones with a more positive effect.

This could be a great time to read that new book or your favorite magazine from cover to cover. Or maybe you prefer to watch a comedy show or movie.

I’m not suggesting you ignore the outside world forever, but for this day, while building your resilience, choose to disengage with stress-inducing news. Control the input.

“Identify and engage in what is nourishing and within your control.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

4. Make Something

There is a gift in making something from nothing. What kind of something? Maybe you like to bake, write blog posts or in journals, take photographs, write poetry, or knit scarves. Perhaps you want to paint, write music, do a craft project, or create fancy cocktails.

Take control of a joy-inducing physical activity and make something. Enjoy the process and the result.

I’ve already journaled and worked on this post. Guess what else I did? I baked (and ate) some Almond Butter Chocolate Chip cookies. Fortunately, these cookies are not only delicious but also nutritious. I just have to remember to eat them in moderation. Wish me luck.

5. Declutter Your Space

Physical disorganization and chaos in your environment can affect how you feel and function. The disarray adds to a feeling of lack of control. You don’t know where things are or have the mind space to focus.

There is mood-boosting power in decluttering and organizing. The act of doing, making a change, and then experiencing the benefits of that shift is palpable.

You can’t control everything, but you can improve your corner of the world (or desk).

Human Coping Skills

Remember, you are resilient, and you have people to lean on. To help navigate challenging times, exert control in tiny yet significant ways. This won’t change everything, but it will help to calm and ground you. What coping strategies do you use when life feels chaotic?

If you need help decluttering, organizing, planning, or grounding, I’m here for you. Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.

The latest installment (v29) of the “What’s Interesting?” feature is here with my recent discoveries that inform, educate, and relate to organizing and life balance. I’ve included unique and inspiring, wonderfully human-related finds, which reflect this month’s blog theme. You are such a beautifully generous, warm, and engaged group. I am deeply appreciative and grateful for your presence, positive energy, and contributions to this community.

I look forward to your participation and additions to the collection I’ve sourced. What do you find interesting?

What’s Interesting? . . .

1. Interesting Read – Human Living

The pandemic encouraged many of us to examine the busyness of our lives. If you are interested in exploring a more intentional, less stressful life, this book is for you.  In Slow - Simple living for a frantic world, Brooke McAlary, author, blogger, and podcast host, shares her inspiring journey to remove the excess in her life and embrace the Slow Living movement. McAlary says, “Slowing down and simplifying aren’t centered solely on the idea of decluttering, but letting go of excess is an important part of slowing down.” McAlary’s practical advice for simpler living includes identifying your why, decluttering, de-owning, mindfulness, balance, and backsliding. She reminds us that “Perfect doesn’t exist...What does exist is honest, human imperfect change. Every tiny step matters.”  

“Perfect doesn’t exist . . . What does exist is honest, human imperfect change.””

— Brooke McAlary

2. Interesting Product – Human Habit

Wearing masks, social distancing, and regular handwashing are respectful habits we can do to keep each other healthy and safe during this pandemic. My wonderful friend and colleague, Julie Bestry, recently wrote a review of a fabulous new product, the Time Timer® WASH. Thank you, Julie! This visual and auditory timer helps kids and adults wash their hands for the proper amount of time. My favorite part about the timer is the upbeat music that accompanies the visual display. Think kitchen or bathroom dance party! The timer gives you 5 seconds to apply soap, 20 seconds to scrub your hands, and 5 seconds to rinse. The fun factor encourages a handwashing habit. Let’s do our part to help our fellow humans.

3. Interesting Research  – Human Attention

Amishi Jho, the neuroscientist, author, and associate professor of psychology at the University of Miami, studies attention. Jho and her team research VUCA (Volatility Uncertainty, Complexity, Ambiguity,) which involves “high-stress, high demand scenarios that can rapidly degrade one of our most powerful and influential brain systems: our attention.” They look at people who encounter regular VUCA conditions due to their professions, such as firefighters and soldiers. She identified that the global pandemic has all of us living with VUCA conditions. In her recent Mindful article, “You’re Overwhelmed (and it’s not your fault,)” she describes ten ways your brain reacts in VUCA situations and how regular mindfulness meditation can be the key to calming your mind and enhancing your attention. 

4. Interesting Article – Human Anticipation

Have you planned fewer (if any) events to look forward to this year because of pandemic restrictions? As a result, have you noticed a negative change in your mood? According to Dana Smith’s article, Your Brain Needs a Party, which was reprinted on the Brainfit blog, the anticipation of future events enhances your overall well-being. So if you, along with much of the country, have been feeling down, and our current situation continues to discourage having large parties or travel excursions experiment with “microdosing anticipation,” as Markham Heid suggests. Psychologist Christian Waugh encourages, “Instead of thinking big or way in the future, think smaller and closer in time.” For instance, how about planning a drive to explore local scenery, setting a date to Zoom with a treasured friend or family member, or planning a scaled-down Thanksgiving meal for your household pod. I see cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie in your future. Your brain’s “positive anticipation circuit” will reward you with the emotional boost you may be missing.

5. Interesting Thought – Human Acceptance

Life includes experiencing challenges big and small. We can be our biggest cheerleaders or worst critics when we go through struggles. Whether you are challenged by disorganization, learning difficulties, grief, or other issues, be kind to yourself. Accept your humanness. Reach out for help when you need it. And as Brene Brown says, let go of shame.

What are your interesting finds? Which of these resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation!

What a week it was with a contentious election, rising COVID-19 cases, and so much unrest. To cope, we’ve been doing many things to quiet the stress. How have you been coping? I’ve been teetering between engaging in healthy and not-so-healthy activities. The unhealthy ones have included baking (and eating with some help) a tray of brownies with espresso chocolate chips and making two big pots of macaroni and cheese. On the healthy side, I’ve continued to meditate at least once a day, take walks outside, practice yoga, eat fruits and vegetables, and talk with family and friends. I’ve been on the look for those moments of calm and joy. Even when life is challenging, joy is present.

Last week, one of my good friends and colleagues, Yota Schneider, wrote a wonderful post, On Absorbing Joy. She asks, “What gives you joy?”  I love that question because it puts us in a positive seeking mode. And in case you are stuck, Yota offers many suggestions to seek joy-inducing opportunities, which include “engaging your senses” and “having a good conversation with your loved ones.” 

“Even in the midst of the chaos, joy kept finding me.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

This past week has been a rollercoaster of moods and emotions. Yet even in the midst of the chaos, joy kept finding me. I felt it as I noticed the light gracing a bright red leaf. I experienced joy when . . .

• I giggled and laughed on the phone with my Aunt Bert.

• I listened to the sound of the river lapping against the shore.

• I heard the rustle of the crunchy fall leaves as they fluttered on the tree branches.

• I felt the sun warming my face after many rainy, gray days.

• I received an all purple surprise birthday package and card from an old friend.

• I read two magazines cover-to-cover without any interruptions.

• I saw my mom smile after waking up from a short nap.

• I bit into the freshly baked, very hot, intensely chocolate brownie.

• I visited with family after being apart for over a year.

• I climbed into our cozy bed at night and snuggled next to my husband.

As human beings, we have a tremendous capacity for joy, even during uncertain times. How have you been coping this week? What healthy or not-so-healthy coping strategies did you use? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

The latest installment (v28) of the “What’s Interesting?” feature is here with my recent discoveries that inform, educate, and relate to organizing and life balance. I’ve included unique and inspiring, enlisting help-related finds, which reflect this month’s blog theme. You are such a wonderfully generous, warm, and engaged group. I am deeply appreciative and grateful for your presence, positive energy, and contributions to this community.

I look forward to your participation and additions to the collection I’ve sourced. What do you find interesting?

What’s Interesting? . . .

1. Interesting Read – Resilience Help

Life is filled with challenges. When you experience difficulty, disappointment, and disaster, what helps you bounce back? In Resilience, Linda Graham, MFT, author, therapist, and teacher share helpful insights and practices. Graham defines resilience as “the capacity to bend with the wind, go with the flow, and bounce back from adversity.” She believes that “resilience is teachable, learnable, and recoverable.”  The practices presented are based on the brain’s ability to adapt, and the recognition that flexibility is the core of resilience. It is easy to get derailed by life’s small and big challenges. By experimenting with some of the 130 plus exercises in the book, you can train your brain to “respond skillfully,” cope with stressors and difficulties, and not just survive, but “You will thrive.”

“Resilience is teachable, learnable, and recoverable.”

— Linda Graham, MFT

2. Interesting Product – Storage Help

The first phase for getting organized focuses on editing and letting go of things that no longer serve a purpose. I like to say, “Release the things that have overstayed their welcome.” However, once that first phase is complete, choosing how to organize the remaining items comes next. I discovered some beautiful organizing products from Open Spaces and couldn’t wait to share them with you. They are simple, elegant, and perfect for organizing like-with-like items. These small storage bins that come with or without lids in an array of lovely colors can be used in bathrooms, bedrooms, kitchens, offices, playrooms, and more. They are an excellent solution for storage help.

3. Interesting Resource  – Virtual Organizing Help

The pandemic has changed my organizing business. While I’ve been working in-person with clients for over 27 years, I’m currently only offering virtual organizing services. Existing and new clients love working this way, including the shorter, highly focused, and more frequent sessions. As one of my clients said, “Working virtually for one hour is productive, doable, and not overwhelming.”

Professional development has always been a top priority for me. Last month I completed my training and became credentialed as a Certified Virtual Professional Organizer (CVPO.) To acknowledge this shift to virtual organizing and express my gratitude to my clients for their loyalty and trust, I created a Client Loyalty Program. The more virtual organizing sessions you have, the more organizing credits you will receive. Are you curious about how virtual organizing can help you? If so, let’s talk. Call 914-271-5673 or email me at linda@ohsoorganized.com.

4. Interesting Article – Worrying Help

One of my favorite pieces of advice from my Uncle Lew is, “Let’s leave worry as a last resort.”  With an abundance of uncertainty and anxiety about tomorrow, it can be even more challenging to stop worrying. In Nicole Pajer’s Huffington Post article, 15 Things Therapists Do When They’re Worried About The Future, there are excellent coping strategies and ways to help you.  They include ideas such as keeping routines, developing a support system, practicing gratitude, being physically active, and remaining present. Practicing daily mindfulness meditation, doing yoga, and taking walks in nature significantly reduce my anxiety and worry. Those activities focus on presence, movement, and gratitude.

5. Interesting Thought – Enlisting Help

Every person experiences challenges at one time or another. Remember that when you are struggling, you don’t have to be alone on your journey. Enlist help. Find compassionate, helpful support from your friends, family, colleagues, and professionals, including organizers like me. We are here for you. “You are not alone in this.”

What are your interesting finds? Which of these resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation!