A while back, I received an email from Soren Gordhamer, an entrepreneur and founder of the Wisdom 2.0 Conference. He wrote,

“Two things are pretty clear:

 We have limited heartbeats in this life.

 And

 We never know when our last heartbeat will be.”

If that’s not a call to be intentional and focus on what matters most, I don’t know what is. When thinking about creating a better, happier life balance, framing it in the context of our limited time can help.

Are you spending time and emotional energy on things that are within or out of your control? Are you stressing about ‘what ifs, shoulds, and if only?’  Or are you focused on those things that are doable, bring you joy, and make life flow better?

You have choices, which is a good thing.

Circles of Influence and Control

This idea of limited time connects to another concept I was recently reminded of in To Do – 41 Tools to Start, Stick With, and Finish Things by Mikael Krogerus and Roman Tshchappeler.

They shared a Steven Covey concept from his classic book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It is the“circles of influence and control” technique to “help whenever we feel ineffectual, powerless or frustrated.” It’s also an excellent exercise for infusing better balance and focus into your days.

How to Create Your Circles – What You Can and Can’t Change

As the illustration below shows, draw three concentric circles.

1. Outer: Circle of Concern

• Anything you have no control over belongs in the “concern” circle.

• List several “things that bother you but you can’t do anything about.” Examples include:

  • Past events

  • The political climate

  • Natural disasters

  • Other people’s flaws

2. Center: Circle of Control

• List several things you have agency over. These could be:

  • What you eat

  • Amount of sleep you get

  • People you hang out with

  • Amount of organization you have

  • Books you read

  • Movies you watch

• Some might seem trivial, but they significantly influence our lives. Add these to your “control” list.

“There’s immense power in knowing which things in our lives we can and can’t control.”

— Mikael Krogerus and Roman Tschappeler

3. Middle: Circle of Influence

• Include here things that aren’t in your control, yet you might be able to influence through your attitude or behavior. For example,

  • It’s impossible to “single-handedly avert climate change, but you can do something about it by living sustainably.”

  • You cannot “change your genes, but you can exercise regularly and eat more healthfully.”

  • You have no power over circle of concern events. However, you can influence or change your reaction to them.

How Does This Exercise Help?

The more you focus on those things you have no control over (circle of concern), the “more helpless and ineffectual you’ll feel.” However, when you focus on what is within your control (circle of influence and circle of control,) “the more confident and less anxious you’ll be.”

This exercise can heighten your awareness of how you’re spending your precious time. Focusing on areas you have agency and influence over can tip the balance in a more positive direction.

A Balanced Life Approach

You only go around once. How can you balance your days to include those things within your control and influence? What can you improve? What can you let go of?  I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

Do you want help decluttering, organizing, planning, or finding a right balance for you? I’d love to help and I’m here for you. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – A local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization, balance, and ease are possible, especially with support.

As the cold freeze of winter chases the second month of this New Year, are you actively pursuing the changes you want to make in your life? Or, are you in the research and planning phase? Maybe change is the farthest thing from your mind. I’ve noticed during my latest conversations how people are at different ‘change’ points. Some have committed to specific changes, others are pondering change, and some want no change. Where are you right now on the change spectrum?

Recently I discovered three inspiring ideas. I considered them concerning these ‘change’ conversations. Especially if you are in the midst of change or trying to decide what changes you want to pursue, one of these concepts could help you clarify your direction or encourage a perspective shift. 

3 New Trends Will Inspire You to Make Remarkable Changes

1. The Big Quit

Life has changed in numerous ways. The last two-plus years of the global pandemic affected how we live, think and respond. The pandemic has influenced “the great resignation” or “the big quit,” where millions of employees from all industries are leaving their companies in droves. They no longer want to continue as they had, which was not working for them. Instead, they’ve gone for more significant opportunities, higher pay, and better scheduling flexibility. Enough was enough.

How does “the big quit” relate to you? Use this mantra to ask questions to encourage change in your life.

• What are you currently doing that is not serving you well?

• What do you need to “quit?”

• Is your home environment cluttered and draining your physical and emotional energy?

• Do you have ineffective systems that don’t support who you are and what you’re doing?

• Which unhelpful habits are preventing you from living your best life? 

• What do you want to stop doing that no longer works for you?

• What do you want to “quit” to transform your life?

2. Resilience Hubs

According to Google, the word used most to describe 2021 was “exhausting.” It’s no surprise since we’ve had to navigate the pandemic for another year. We’ve experienced loss, working differently, and shifting COVID protocols. We’ve had to balance work and family life with continually changing rules and a mutating virus (now Omicron BA.2). And as if this weren’t enough, we’ve experienced political unrest, inflation, and unprecedented uncertainty. I’m exhausted just thinking about all of this. What is the antidote to fatigue?

Recently, I heard about “Resilience Hubs.” These are trusted physical spaces, typically located in urban areas, established to support communities during regular times and disasters. With local government and residents as their leaders, these hubs have better communication and can more easily pivot to provide the resources the community and its members need to thrive.

As you pursue the changes you want for this year, consider creating your own personal resilience hub. What do you need to replenish your reserves after the exhaustion from the last few years? My resilience hub includes:

• Meditating daily

• Walking in nature

• Doing yoga

• Practicing mindfulness

• Spending time with friends and family

• Getting enough sleep

• Letting go of things that drain my energy

What will you include in your resilience hub?

“Which unhelpful habits are preventing you from living your best life?”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

3. The Magic Question

Zoe Chance, Yale University professor and author of Influence Is Your Superpower, was interviewed on NPR this month. During the conversation, I was especially intrigued when host Leila Fadel asked her to elaborate on a section in her book about the magic question. Magic question? I couldn’t wait to hear what it was. Are you thinking the same thing?

The magic question: What would it take?

As Zoe explains, “The magic question is magic because…it’s respectful…you get creative and surprising answers that you would never have expected. And…when they tell you, here’s the roadmap to success, they are implicitly committing to supporting that outcome.”

Change is hard. Often it’s a challenge because we get in our own way with excuses, doubt, or fear. But if we activate some magic, in the form of this magic question, what becomes possible? As you navigate your path of change, ask, what would it take to:

• have an organized, decluttered home?

• have a workspace that helped me focus and supported my needs?

• have time to work and relax?

• have  . . . ?

I hope that with some new tools or phrases at the ready, you will be inspired to pursue the change you desire. Did one of these ideas resonate with you? Did you discover something today to help? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

As always, if you want help on your change path, I’m an email or phone call away. Reach out at any time to schedule your virtual organizing session. Find me at linda@ohsoorganized.com or 914-271-5673. I’m ready to help facilitate the change you desire.

One of my obsessions, which you might not know about, is “tiny houses” and the tiny house movement. I am in awe of living with less (less space, less stuff) and how small spaces are designed. I love watching the Netflix show, Tiny House Nation, adding images to my Oh, So Tiny Houses! Pinterest board, and reading about people living the tiny house lifestyle. My fantasy is to sell our home (and most of our stuff) and move into a tiny house.

My husband, Steve, doesn’t share my enthusiasm for this idea. He has expressed many times, “I don’t want to live in a tiny house and get rid of all of my stuff. I like my stuff. Where would I put all of my signs?”  Steve is a collector of many things, including large porcelain advertising signs.  Then he clarified that if we did move into a tiny house, we’d need two of them to “keep the peace.”

In the early summer, with tiny house fantasies and vacation planning on my mind, I discovered a unique place in the Catskills. A Tiny House Resort, where we could experience firsthand what tiny home living was like. Steve was game and knew this would be fun, but also help me experience viscerally what tiny living was all about. I booked us an adorable 350 square foot little house complete with a full kitchen, bathroom with five-foot tub, space to sleep four people, fire pit, pergola, and outdoor gas grill. What fun! This family-run resort is situated along the Catskill Creek, has beautiful walking trails, a waterfall, and an outdoor heated swimming pool. There are farm animals, including goats (available for Goat Yoga,) sheep, free-range chickens laying fresh eggs that guests can have, vegetable and herb garden to pick from, giant-sized (not tiny) outdoor chess, and checkers, and so much more.

Four Tiny House Life Lessons

Life Lesson One: Defining Too Cozy

My ah-ha moment came when I approached our tiny house, opened the door, and walked in. I knew in an instant that I could never live full-time in one. Why? It was too small. I told Steve, and he smiled- well, maybe he belly laughed. While it was fantastic spending a long weekend there with him in this cozy and unique space, it is not how I want to live all the time. Although we both agreed that we could if we had to.

Life Lesson Two: Not So Small Afterall

The second ah-ha came when we returned back to our own home, which we’ve always called “small.” Our home felt spacious after four days of living in the tiny house. This realization reinforced that my tiny house fantasy is just that- a fantasy. I am happy and deeply grateful to live in our rightly sized home. I felt very much like Goldilocks when she sat in the “just right” chair. I discovered that our house is “just right” for us.

“I want to prioritize being and doing over acquiring and managing. ”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

Life Lesson Three: Live With Less

I also recognized that even though I no longer aspire to live in a tiny home, which is defined as between 100 to 400 square feet, I am interested in living with less. It was so apparent how little we needed when we stayed at the tiny house resort. Instead of 30 drinking glasses, there were four. Instead of silverware for 40, there were 4 spoons, forks, and knives. We had just enough, but not more than enough. It felt liberating. 

So when I returned home, I started to not just think about editing my stuff. I actually began letting go. A bag of books was filled and donated to the library. I went through my files and filled up three large bags of paper to recycle and shred. That’s just the beginning. My plan is to go through each room and find things that no longer have value, are taking up space, or have overstayed their welcome. 

I don’t feel pressure or have a specific timeframe for doing this. It will be a relaxed and ongoing process.

Life Lesson Four: Clarifying My Why

Our tiny house experience inspired me not to move but to discover what living with just enough feels like. I’m hyperaware of the 80/20 rule and frequently share this with clients. We only refer to 20% of the papers we file, wear 20% of the clothes we own, read or refer to 20% of the books on our shelves, use 20% of the kitchen gadgets, and so on. I want to review and potentially let go of close to 80% of the things I never use, access, or need. I recognize this is ambitious, but I am open to the process. Why should the stuff I collected and don’t use take up valuable physical real estate and emotional energy? Why should I leave the things I no longer want for our kids to have to sort through when I’m gone? I acquired these things. It’s my responsibility to decide their future.

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, our tiny living weekend allowed us the freedom to live and not spend much time caring for the physical stuff of life. Less time cleaning and decision-making meant more time for kayaking, walking in the Catskill Creek, hanging out by the waterfall, swimming, picking peppers and basil from the garden, preparing and eating meals together, and enjoying our time together. Yes. I get that we were on vacation. But even so, going forward, I want to prioritize being and doing over acquiring and managing. We only go around once. 

Have you considered tiny house living? If so, do you need help editing? Do you feel overwhelmed by your things, or do you have just enough? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.